A/N: For those of you in America, or feel that they should celebrate it, I hope you have a safe and happy 4th of July! Don't blow up anything that should not be blown up.
New York, May 6, 1943
Thursday, Raoul took her out in the evening to enjoy all of the bright lights of the city. He brought with him a small picnic basket and they ate in their favourite corner of Central Park before lying lazily on the blanket he had packed. He felt all of the stress of what was coming up float away as she rested her head on his shoulder, his arm awkwardly pinned under her. He would not shift her, though. Not when she looked so happy gazing up at the starlit sky. There was almost too much light pollution from the city to see, but they managed out a few constellations.
'Christine?' he asked after a moment of enjoying the peace of the evening.
'Hmm?' she hummed, nuzzling a bit into his sideways embrace.
'What do you want to do once the war is over?'
Christine paused, thinking it over. 'I-I don't know,' she admitted, feeling she sounded childish.
'I mean, when all the men are brought home and the world stops being so crazy, will you stay in New York? Do you want to go somewhere else?' he pressed, clearly envisioning his own future more than hers. He was asking out of mild curiosity and politeness.
'I'm not sure. I've never really had the luxury of picking my own life. It seems like every time I am about to do something I want, the world changes my mind for me,' she told him, remembering the last time she had tried to decide her own fate and having the war erupt. Before that, her father had gotten sick, preventing her from attending any sort of school for her singing, and before that, they had been too poor to afford anything more than food each night. The world had not been kind, and yet here she lay, her head resting on the shoulder of her childhood friend and a singing job awaiting her the following night. For once, the world looked like it was a happier place for her, but she had been burned before.
'What about you?' she asked, determined to turn the conversation away from thoughts such as those. 'What do you want to do once the war is over?'
Raoul thought a moment, trying to seem as though he had not been already. 'Well, I guess I'll need to get a job. My brother seems partial to my joining him in the family business. I have a pretty good inheritance, but I need to work to be useful. Beyond that, I don't know, settle down, and raise a family. Same as everyone else.'
Christine nodded. She had assumed as much long ago. Raoul was the path to the average life. He was the straight road with a set light at the end and no worries for distractions along the way. She could see it now, pastel house, her in the kitchen trying and failing to cook a worthy meal as two children ran about her ankles and a suited Raoul kissed her temple from his long day at work. She would be normal. She would have worries about the neighbour's new car, the mortgage, the childrens' grades, how old she might be looking and how much weight she had gained, and all of the trivialities of normal life. It was expected of her. She knew that she should want it.
'If life didn't get in the way, what would you like to do?' he asked, bringing her back to herself a bit.
She sighed, watching the twinkling stars in the sky, hearing the hum and drone of the city surrounding her. 'I want a life and I want sunlight in it. Real sunlight. Light that only comes from happiness. You know how memories are kind of tinted golden? I want that. I want to feel like I can be anything I want but have someone there who stays my sturdy rock. I want something to come back to.'
'You want a home,' he answered sagely. He felt her nod against his shoulder. He looked over at her to see a tear slide down her cheek.
'Christine,' he cooed, wiping the salty trail from her soft skin. 'Christine, you can have a home wherever you want. There's nothing you cannot do. If you wanted to perform on Broadway, then they would be fools not to take you. If you wanted to travel the world—once all of the fighting's done, of course—then I would be right there beside you the whole way. You could fly anywhere and I would find a home for you. We could have a house outside of the city so you could have a break from all the noise.'
This only made her cry harder. That was not what she wanted. She did not wish for a home with some yellow-green grassed lawn. She wanted warmth in an embrace and assurance in a companion by her side through life. In short, she realised, she did not want a home in a house. She wanted a home in the form of a person. She wanted a home in love.
Raoul held her closer as she turned into his shoulder, clinging to him tightly. He worried for her. It seemed as of late she had become more and more emotional. He could only assume it was because he would be shipping off on Sunday. He would miss her, but he had a plan in place. He would lay it all out Saturday over dinner at his apartment. This coming month would be the longest of his life.
She heard him whisper soothing words into her ear, but she simply could not stop thinking of what the future might bring.
They laid like that for a good while, he comforting her and reminiscing over their time as children, and she trying not to sort her life out but knowing she could not avoid it much longer.
When they finally packed up, Raoul walked her home, keeping an arm round her shoulders as she still looked a bit despondent. He stopped suddenly on their trip, ducking into a quiet shop for a moment and leaving her in the light outside.
He came back to her puzzled expression with an impish grin on his face. He held out an ice cream cone to her proudly.
Christine nearly started crying at this random act of kindness. She laughed and hugged him for his thoughtfulness and stood on tip toe to kiss his cheek.
'Better eat it before it melts,' he told her, pecking her cheek as well.
They sat on a bench, he eating his own cone while trying not to laugh at how horribly he was doing at keeping it from being messy. Christine had not laughed harder than when she saw Raoul resort to licking his fingers to get the sticky melted ice cream from them. He got his own mirthful moment in when she got a dab on her nose. He brushed it off for her with his already slightly sticky fingers. She spurted out laughter as he debated a moment before just licking his finger clean. He smiled at her with the abandon of a child. He grinned with a pleasant lop-sidedness that was oddly adorable. He looked so carefree in that moment.
He watched her eyes soften the more she looked into his smile. Were it not for the drop of ice cream escaping the cone and rushing for her fingers, he would have kissed her right then. He warned her with a bit too much enthusiasm, making her laugh even more.
They finished their treat with a few more moments of random humour before Raoul begged the shop owner to let him wash his hands. Grudgingly consenting, the owner watched Raoul like a hawk, which made Christine really fight to hold in laughter. What was he afraid Raoul would do? Steal the soap?
Finally heading back out into the night, Raoul continued to escort her home.
'Thank you for the ice cream, Raoul. I don't remember the last time I had that.' She smiled up at him honestly.
'Aw, it was nothing. I was just happy to see you smiling again.' He nudged her gently. She ducked her head in mild embarrassment at this as they went on their way.
Stopping outside of her building, she turned to see him in the lighting over the door. His eyes looked oddly dark in the limited light and his strong jaw and cheekbones were well accented by the cast shadows. Were it not for the blonde curls which stubbornly hung over his forehead like a child's he would look like a knight in shining armour.
'Will I see you tomorrow night?' she asked, eyeing him mischievously as though his answer would be anything less than a definite yes.
'Why, Ms. Daaé, what do you think I do but wait for our time together?' He raised his hand to his heart in mock injury. He beamed at her giggling from his theatrics.
'You had better not give me reason to think you do anything else.' She smirked up at him.
'You wound me, madam.' He held his head high, but relaxed it when she brought his face down and planted a solid kiss on his lips. He returned it smoothly, winding his arms round her waist and pulling her in a bit, closing the distance between them. She felt a warning bell go off in her head as she allowed the kiss to deepen, but ignored it. She wanted this right now because she may not have it again…ever. It felt right. It was what she should want. It was normal and good.
She moaned into his mouth as her lips finally parted. He took it gently, knowing how quick she was to end such moments. He wound his fingers through her curls as she practically massaged the back of his neck. He was loath to part, but a mutual need for oxygen urged him to separate. Placing his forehead on hers, they both breathed deeply, trying to catch their breaths.
Christine pulled back first only to dive into a hug. She enjoyed the way Raoul's arms wrapped round her narrow frame. It was not the same as…no, she had determined not think about him tonight. This would be for herself and Raoul only.
Stealing a glance up at her blonde guardian, she knew that the sensible thing would be to run away with him forever. To take what she could get and leave all of the complicated life out of the way. She could live happily, or at least contentedly in his world of perfect answers and average being. She could be normal with her friend. She cared about him and was grateful for his straightforward path. She could let him lead and happily follow along by his side.
'I'll see you tomorrow, then,' she told him with a smile plastered on her face. She would try. For him, she would try. She decided then and there that she would not hold herself back from it. It was the obvious choice. It was a good choice…she hoped.
'Goodnight, Little Lotte.' He kissed the top of her head before watching her enter the building. He wanted to see her just a bit longer, as well as to ensure she got in safely. He worried about her some nights.
Turning, he walked back down the street to his own apartment with wonderings about what tomorrow would bring for them, as well as all of the magic of that night.
Christine finished her song before practically leaping from the back of the stage. Raoul had signalled her with some urgency as she was taking her bows. She was not surprised to find him leaning in the doorway at the end of the hall.
'Come on, or we'll be late,' he called eagerly.
He rushed them out of the café before Christine could even consider visiting Erik. He would have to wait until tomorrow night, she supposed. Of course, she had Raoul's special dinner plans to be ready for.
Hurrying at his side, she tried her best to keep up with him, but it was hard with their considerable leg length differences. Still, she managed to catch up and actually bump into him when he stopped suddenly.
She apologised when he turned to smile down at her. She looked around a bit, somewhat in a daze on the trip over.
The lights of the cinema building flashed at her, but Raoul had positioned his hands over the marquee to hide what picture was showing. She had just enough time to gape and smile before he was excitedly pulling her up to the front doors, ignoring her questioning about tickets.
'I got them earlier today. This is the latest showing, so I wanted to make sure we got here on time,' he explained, as they stood in the two person line for popcorn. He was grinning like an idiot and she could only smile gently in return.
Making their way through the surprisingly open theatre, they sat in the middle of the row. Christine looked around, puzzled.
'Are we really early?' she asked, noting the few people spaced out generously.
'No, it's just been showing for a while. The gal at the ticket counter told me tonight was probably the last night for it. We're lucky, I guess.' He nudged her eagerly. 'I had to pay a little extra for the ticket, so I guess we wouldn't have had a film otherwise.'
'Thank you, Raoul. I haven't seen a movie in ages. I think the last one I went to had Charlie Chaplin in it,' she said, remembering the sound of the piano playing in the small, smoky room. She had snuck in the back, not having a ticket. She had almost been caught, but a nice man had vouched for her. He had later told her she looked like she needed a laugh. He had shared his popcorn with her and she had thanked him at least a hundred times. Her father had been cross she had wandered off and spoken to a stranger, but he had quickly melted when she told him about the film and how happy it had made her. Thinking on it now, she realised her father had been happy she had a good time. He had so little money to give her anything that when she did find a way to enjoy herself, he could not begrudge her for it.
Looking back to the screen in front of her, she saw the proud opening credits and the grand music begin.
Presenting Lily Mars Starring Judy Garland and Van Heflin, Directed by Norman Taurog.
Christine looked at Raoul in amazement as the credits continued on. She had heard Miss Garland sing on the radio and seen her picture in the paper and dime-store magazines, but never had the pleasure of watching her perform. This was a real treat. She never would have thought to come on her own, let alone be able to afford it.
Just before the picture started, Raoul got one big kiss on the lips and a whispered thank you in his ear. She smiled as the film began, enjoying every moment of it.
'So,' Raoul started as they walked out of the cinema. 'What'd you think?' He smirked at her, noting the beaming grin which had stayed on her face almost the whole picture.
'It-it was wonderful!' She cried, bouncing up and down as she held his hand. 'Oh, I have never seen something so beautiful in all my life!'
She had known Miss Garland to be talented, but never quite as much as seeing her proved. And gorgeous. Oh, the woman was lovely. She had a voice bigger than she was, but she carried herself to dispel the look of a teenager singing like a grown woman. Her hair was perfect, her eyes so dark and expressive, all of it was perfect.
'Then I take it my choice in date was a good one.' He grinned at her.
'Oh, yes! Thank you, Raoul!' She latched onto him, stopping his walk with a powerful kiss. It was a bit more intimate than the one she had blown him away with in the theatre, but not as passionate as the one the previous night. He did not complain, however. He was perfectly happy to catalogue all of her kisses based on her moods and enjoy each and every one of them.
Putting his arms round her much like he had the night before, he bent in a little further, almost dipping her. She relaxed into him, smiling and closing her eyes dreamily.
The honk of a passing car brought her out of it, though. She blushed profusely as she remembered where she was. Kissing in plain sight on the sidewalk. If she had a strict mother, she would surely be having a cow now. As it stood, she wondered what her parents up in Heaven thought of her outlandish behaviour. Certainly Erik would disapprove.
That last thought alone set her mind on more proper thoughts.
'I'll have to remember to take you to the movies again when I get back. Oh, about tomorrow night,' he changed subjects quickly, digging in his pocket for something. Finally he found it in a piece of slightly crumpled paper. 'Here's my address and a couple directions on how to get there for tomorrow night. Nothing too fancy unless you want it to be.' He winked at her as she took the paper.
'I should finish work around ten,' she told him, wondering if she could convince the band to play a little extra to let her off early.
'That will be fine. I'm sorry I won't be able to be there to hear you, but I've got something really special planned for dinner,' he explained, rubbing the back of his head.
'It's all right. I understand. Let's see,' she muttered, looking at the paper. 'I should be able to walk there without too much trouble. I will see you around 10:15 or so?' she offered. She was only slightly surprised to find they were now outside her apartment building again.
'Sounds like a date.' He winked, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips before adding a slightly deeper one and then walking off with a wave. He turned back a few times to watch her go into her building, always careful of these dark streets. He hated to make her walk all the way to his apartment, but she would never accept his money to pay for a cab, and it was not that far a distance anyway. She would be fine.