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"Run" Snow Patrol
"When was this taken, Lils?" Mrs. Evans' asked as she examined a picture of Julia and Lily standing by the lake.
"Oh, fourth year," Lily laughed, looking over her shoulder at the moving image. "We were goofing off and Mary took the picture… it seems to have stuck that way."
"I find these so fascinating," her mother mused. "Of course, everything about the world you live in is fascinating to me. I can only imagine what it's been like for you."
Lily smiled. "It's been entertaining at times. I still feel like there's so much I don't understand."
"Sweetheart, that never goes away… trust me. I'm forty-nine years old, and I still don't understand everything about this world," her mother laughed.
It was Boxing Day, snow was falling lightly outside making the streets of Southampton very pretty and festive. Lily and her mum were going through her old things, and placing them in a large trunk that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had gotten her for Christmas. "This can stay here until you find your own place, Lils. I just want to make sure that we go through things and figure out what you wish to keep before I do the same with Petunia," she explained.
Lily agreed, and used various spells to make the sorting of clothes, pictures, and other keepsakes go by very fast. She didn't have much: a few toys from her childhood, several albums of pictures of her as an infant and child, some items from her wardrobe that she didn't bother bringing to Hogwarts, and her remaining magical books that she kept at home.
"Hey Mum," Lily asked quietly, a sheepish tone to her voice. "I… well, it's kind of selfish for me to ask, but I know it doesn't mean as much to Petunia; could I … well, if something were to happen, could I have yours and dad's wedding rings?"
Mrs. Evans smiled. "Yes, you can have them. I know how fond you are of my ring, so I already thought of that."
"Oh, great! You don't have it on… did you already put it away?" asked Lily curiously.
"No, I sent them to the jewelers to be cleaned right before you came home. When I get them back I'll add them to your things," her mum replied.
Lily nodded and continued her sorting. Midway through the afternoon, she and her mother ascended into the attic to go through the various baby clothes that had been kept as keepsakes. Lily smiled as they looked over her christening dress, several pairs of shoes, and other items from her infancy that her mother had kept. Petunia's items were intermingled in the same box, which made sorting difficult at times.
"I'll have to go back and look at pictures to really figure this out," Mrs. Evans sighed. "You two were always the same size and you shared clothes so frequently…"
"Until I got my letter," Lily frowned. "It's probably good that we're separating things; Petunia would be horrified to find out our baby dresses touched, and hers are now tainted."
Mrs. Evans sighed heavily, and Lily frowned as a wave of guilt washed over her. "I'm sorry, Mum. I shouldn't have said that."
"No… it's all right. I'm sighing because I agree, and it pains me to say that."
Lily set one of her baby blankets aside and looked at her Mum. "It'll be okay… Tuney and I will talk it out … someday… maybe…"
"Petunia won't… I've tried to talk to her and she … she's unmovable. She acts as though you did something horrid… and you didn't. To be honest, I think she's mad at me because it wasn't her who-"
"She'd never own up to that… but you're right. She wishes it was her instead of me, though I don't think she really understands the struggles I go through," explained Lily.
"Neither do I," Mrs. Evans said, giving her daughter a curious glance.
Lily sighed. "I don't want you to worry."
"I'm going to worry no matter what; I am your mother, we share similar traits."
Lily laughed and shook her head. "This is true. To put it simply, there are a lot of people who don't think that Muggle-borns – witches and wizards born to non-magical families – should be allowed into our world. There's a huge sect of them, actually… at times it can be very discriminatory."
"Why don't they think you should be allowed?"
Lily shrugged. "Blood-purity… or something like that. To be honest, I don't really know."
"James-"
"James and his family, Sirius, Julia… all of my friends… none of them feel that way at all. To them, it doesn't matter how I was born, and they've been very supportive to me during times when I have been discriminated against. But… Sirius was kicked out of his family for thinking that way, and everyone else who agrees with all of them is discriminated against in their own way as well," Lily explained, trying as hard a she could to describe the situation without letting her mother know of the violence involved.
Mrs. Evans scoffed. "Apparently we're not so different. That happens in our world too."
"Yes, Petunia tends to play with the fear that I'll never be accepted because of my birth. I think Severus let a little too much slip about how much I would be discriminated against," Lily muttered.
"Is that why you aren't friends anymore? Because he didn't like how you were born?"
Lily frowned. "He liked me… but no one else of my birth, and I couldn't take it anymore. It was hypocritical and stupid; so I told him off about it, and that was it."
"Is he involved with anyone trying to force you out of their world?"
Lily frowned, nodding her head but holding it up high. "He's so far gone with them… I don't even know who he is anymore."
"Lils," Her mother said, the tone in her voice suddenly changing. "Whatever happens… to me, or to you, or between you and James… don't let them bully you into something," her mother said.
"Oh, don't worry about that, Mum," Lily said reassuringly. "James wouldn't-"
"No… sorry, I should have been more specific. I didn't mean anyone in your world, I meant Petunia or Vernon."
Lily gave her mother a confused glance; never before had she badmouthed Petunia, or done anything other than try and get the two of them to get along. But for some reason, Lily's mother had a very concerned look on her face when she spoke of her sister. "Mum… why- what would they bully me into?"
"She thinks everyone you know is lazy and reckless, and they aren't. I feel like she's going to suggest to you that you stay away from them in order to have a normal life; play on your fears that you don't belong," her mum replied quietly. "Just… don't let her push you around. And protect yourself. You know I love Petunia dearly, and Vernon has been very kind to me… but both of them are opportunists; and I fear that they'll try to take advantage of you if your guard isn't up."
Lily nodded. "I'll keep it up. Thanks, Mum."
"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Don't worry too much about it, I know how you worry… just… be aware, and don't give in to her pressure if she dishes it out. After yesterday, I know that you're going to have a much more normal life than she ever will since everyone in yours is so easy going and carefree," her mother smiled.
Lily chuckled lightly, thinking to herself that flying broomsticks, transporting invisible luggage, and being hunted by dark wizards would be about as normal as she'd ever get. She sighed and picked up the baby blanket, pondering what kind of life her sister would have. "Is Petunia happy?"
Mrs. Evans smiled. "Don't worry about that either, she's over the moon. And Vernon is pleasant and has been very kind, as I said; though he's quite arrogant. James is so much nicer to be around. But she loves him, and he's very good to her, so I have no worries about that. He'll make sure she's taken care of."
Lily nodded, smiling a little to herself. "Well… that's all I want for her. The rest I can ignore."
"You are happier than she is though," Lily's mum said. "She worries so much about appearances and what everyone thinks; her and Vernon both are very concerned about their position in society. I'm so glad you don't care about things like that; you are who you are, and all your friends are the same way. You are going to do brilliant things once you finish with school."
"What if I … I really just want to be a mum," Lily said quietly. "And a wife… do you think I'd be good at that?"
Her mother smiled and patted Lily's cheek. "You'll be brilliant at it."
J&L&J&L&J&L&J&L
It was mid-evening and James was sitting in his living room, casting puffs of smoke from his wand and vanishing them after they floated above his face for a few moments. He'd played three games of chess with his father, responded again to Lily's most recent letter, and went for a long walk in the snow. Sirius would be back with Julia in the morning; they were visiting her family and had been gone a few days. Between missing Lily and his best friend, James had been driving his parents mad.
"Jamesy… honey… if you miss her that badly, why don't you just go to her? I can't imagine she'd mind; she's been writing you as much as you've been writing her, you may as well just be together," his mother said with an exasperated sigh.
"I know she wants to spend time alone with her mum; I want to give her that. She-"
"She'd probably like it if the two you of you could spend time with her," Mrs. Potter replied.
"She mentioned that… but-"
"If she mentioned it… why are you still here?"
James made a mock frown. "Do you want to get rid of me, Mum?"
"James Ambrose, you know that is not what I am getting at. Though, I will admit you are driving me mad with your pacing, I love having you home. But your heart is with Lily, and I'm guessing her heart is here; why are you apart?"
"I… well, I just didn't want to intrude on-"
"It's not an intrusion if you are wanted," his mother said, turning back to her cup of tea. "You are so like your father. Stubborn, worrisome… and very, very sweet. Go to her, even if you come back tonight, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."
James nodded and gave his mother a quick hug before grabbing his cloak and walking out the door. The air was cold and he shuddered before Aapparating to the park across from Lily's house. He pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders as he walked forward, frowning at the darkened house. Only one light in the living room was on, it looked very quiet. James raised his hand and knocked on the door and waited, suddenly thinking he should have brought flowers or something for both Lily and her mother.
A few moments passed, and James knocked again; there was no answer. He stepped away and peered in the windows, narrowing his eyes at the disheveled state of the living room. The entire time he'd known Lily's mum, her house had been very well kept, and Lily herself seemed to like things in a state of order. The pillows from the couch were thrown on the floor; Lily's cloak lay abandoned on the chair, and another two jackets were thrown off to the side. James stepped away, his mind racing as to where they could be.
"Lad?" a voice called. "Are you looking for someone?"
James started and turned around to see a neighbor observing him curiously from his doorway. He cleared his throat and stepped toward the neighbor's house. "Erm… yes, actually. Do you know if Rose Evans is home? Or did she and her daughter step out for a moment?"
The man frowned and lowered his eyes. "I'm guessing they're at St. Michaels on eighth street; Petunia and her husband came racing over, and then an ambulance came a few minutes later. I'm not sure what was happening."
James' eyes widened. "St. Michaels? Can you tell me where that is?" he asked urgently, walking closer to where the man was standing.
"It's on eighth street and Lynner, right in the middle of town," the man explained. "You're a friend of Lily's?"
"Yes," James answered quietly.
"Sweet girl, she is," the man muttered before turning and walking inside. James watched him go, then began to walk back over to the park, wondering why Lily hadn't contacted him when something happened. His mind began to race with worry; perhaps she didn't want him to see her upset, perhaps her mother's hospitalization would force her back into a reclusive state. He wouldn't let her go back to that; whatever happened, he would support her and let her know she wasn't alone. He was just about to Apparate away when a crack filled the air and a shorter figure appeared in front of him. Instinctively, James held up his wand and aimed it at the figure.
"James, it's me," his mother's voice said quickly. She stepped forward and placed her hands on his shoulders, a sad look in her eye as she examined his confused expression. "You had just left - you hadn't even been gone five minutes when Lily's owl came," she explained, handing him a note and frowning.
James unfolded the paper and read, noting the tear marks and smeared ink on the paper.
"My Mum is gone," the first line of the letter said. "I'm at St. Michaels in Southhampton. Please come as soon as you can."
James felt his heart sink, heaviness he had never experienced flooding his chest. Rose Evans was gone, with her husband Mark now. James had only met her three times, most of their conversations had been through correspondence, but he felt sad and despondent that he'd never see her face again. And he knew the sadness he was feeling wasn't even a fraction of what Lily was at this point.
"I took the liberty of sending her owl on trips to Sirius and Julia, as well as Dumbledore and McGonagall and a few others," his mother explained. "Saves you the time; you need to go."
James swallowed and nodded, folding up the note and putting it in his pocket. He looked up at his mum, her eyes a little watery and her expression sad. "What… what do I say? What can I do?" he asked nervously, feeling his hands shake as he thought of how Lily was feeling.
His mother shook her head. "You can't say or do anything, James. All you can do is be there, that's all she wants," she explained.
James nodded and hugged his mother very tightly before stepping away. "If she needs anything let us know, we'll be there," Mrs. Potter said, watching her son nod and disappear into the night.
J&L&J&L&J&L&J&L&J&L
Lily was in shock; she hadn't cried a single tear.
She and her mother had managed to sort all of her remaining baby clothes from Petunia's, placed the trunk full of her keepsakes in her room, and ate dinner After supper, Lily walked upstairs to take a quick shower, but paused when she heard a heavy sigh from the floor below. She'd called to her mother, but there was no response; she raced downstairs to find her lying on the floor, barely stirring. Lily had called the ambulance and Petunia immediately, then set to trying to revive her mother. She'd spoken a few consoling words, whispered goodbye, and then she was gone. When they arrived at the hospital, the nurse told them there was nothing that could have been done; her heart had given out from the strain of fighting the disease spreading through her body.
They were now sitting in a secluded area, listening to a grief counselor discuss plans for a funeral. Lily was barely paying attention; before she'd come to the hospital, she'd sent Daisy off with a note to James. She was cursing herself for not calling him, but she'd been in such a state she didn't have time to look for the letter that contained his phone number, and had simply wrote a note, trusting he would come when he received it.
When the woman left the room to fetch a few brochures of funeral homes, Petunia sighed huffily and Vernon cleared his throat.
"I'm surprised they're here at this hour," he mused.
"They must have to be," Petunia replied. "Never know when these things will happen."
"You sound so torn up," Lily said bitterly.
"At least I've shed some tears," snarled Petunia under her breath.
Vernon didn't hear their exchange; he was glancing out the hallway and examining his watch. "Unable to reach what's-his-name? That's inconvenient, none of them having telephones. Perfect example of why you'd be better off to leave the lot of them alone."
Lily straightened up and stared out the window, past where he and Petunia were standing. "James will be here, I sent him a note. And he has a phone, I just chose not to use it because-"
Loud footsteps echoed from down the hall, and suddenly James appeared into sight, glancing around at Petunia and Vernon before running to Lily, who jumped from her chair and threw herself into his arms. She buried her face in his sweatshirt, breathing in his clean, heady scent and feeling relief flood through her veins. It didn't replace the sadness, but it eased the pain ever so slightly. James didn't say a word, he just stroked her hair and held her close to him.
"I was at your house… I was coming to visit, I just missed Daisy and my Mum had to find me… I came as fast as I could," he whispered after a few moments, frowning sadly when Lily nodded but didn't look at his face. "I'm so sorry, Lily… I'm sorry… What can I do? What do you want me to do?" he asked helplessly.
"You're here now, that's all I wanted … I missed you so much," she whispered, clutching him tightly as he kissed the top of her head.
The counselor walked back in with a nurse, both of them not remarking on the presence of a newcomer. "Barney's is nice; they'll work with you on floral arrangements and headstones. The rest all require separate phone calls, so I'd suggest them. And I've included the names of a few counselors if you girls wish to talk," the woman said, glancing at Lily and Petunia separately.
Both of them nodded, Lily finally raising her head and letting James examine her expression. She was pale, her expression full of confusion and sadness, but her cheeks were dry; she appeared to be in shock. "Thank you," she said quietly, watching the woman walk out.
The nurse set a bag of belongings on the empty bed, glancing sadly about both Lily and Petunia. "I'm so sorry girls… I know that this feels awful now, but she's in a better place. It was a hard decision for her to stop accepting treatment, but I think that in the long run it-"
"Wait…" Lily interrupted. "What? What about not accepting treatment?" she asked, looking directly at the nurse.
The nurse looked at Lily curiously. "Oh… um… well, your mother stopped accepting treatment last August. It wouldn't have prolonged her life very much, and it was making her extremely ill. Rose didn't think it was a good idea, didn't she discuss this with either of you?"
Lily shook her head and glanced at Petunia, who had the same expression of shock on her face. "She… she never mentioned it. I knew how sick she was… but… I thought she was getting better…" Petunia muttered very quietly.
"She felt better since she wasn't taking the medicine; it makes one very, very ill in addition to the cancer," The nurse explained. "I know it's hard to understand… but she didn't want to live for only a few months longer if she would be in misery. I'm sure she didn't want to upset either of you… I'm so sorry I mentioned it," the nurse muttered sheepishly before backing out of the area.
There was silence for a few moments, and then Vernon cleared his throat as he walked over to Petunia. "I'm sure she just didn't want to upset you. She probably didn't want you to try and talk her out of it or-"
"Or she didn't want to be a burden on you for very long," Lily snarled back at him. Her eyes were fixed on Petunia. "How … you had to know something, Petunia. I noticed she was acting better now than she was in the summer, and I didn't see her every week. You did… you had to-"
Petunia pressed her lips together. "She was sick, Lily; I … I suspected, but I can understand why she chose to stop. Nothing was going to make her better and-"
"You could have paid a little attention to how she acted! What did you do all the times you spent with her? Didn't you notice anything?"
"You're so busy off in your world; what does it matter if I did or didn't notice something?" Petunia shot back.
Lily's expression was livid, her eyes full of shock at Petunia's cold attitude. "You're so selfish; too busy moving up in society to really pay attention to what was happening with your family?"
Petunia stood up and walked closer to Lily. "You're one to talk about what was happening with our family!" she shouted. "Running off to God knows where every year, coming home with your new tricks, spending all your time reading that nonsense! You couldn't even give it up to stay after-"
"I didn't have a choice!" Lily shouted. "This is who I am and I can't-"
"You could… but Mum and Dad just encouraged you. 'Lily don't give up on your school – you've got so much important-'"
"She does have important things to do," James said, interceding on Lily's behalf. "She can't just hide who she is, and pretend that she doesn't belong in our world because you're jealous!"
Petunia snarled. "Oh, you shut up! You aren't involved in this and-"
"I'm involved with Lily, therefore I'm just as involved as she is," James replied.
"You aren't family," Petunia spat.
"Not yet," James replied.
Petunia's eyes widened and she glared at Lily. "You can't do it… you can't-"
"I can do whatever the hell I want," Lily replied coldly.
Petunia frowned, glancing at Vernon who was giving Lily a very angry glare. "Leave."
"I'm not leaving you alone with-"
"Vernon… just leave," Petunia insisted. "You too… get out," she muttered at James, shooing them both out of the area.
James hesitated, but Lily nodded before turning her glare back to her sister. James walked out with Vernon, frowning over at Petunia before moving out of sight. Once far enough away that they couldn't hear the conversation, the two men looked at each other, James choosing to stay close by in case Lily needed him while Vernon walked away arrogantly.
Lily breathed heavily, trying to calm herself. She wiped her tears away from her face and sniffed. "Tuney, I know you hate me. But I didn't have a choice… and Mum wanted me to go back; she didn't want me to deny who I am, just like she didn't want you to deny who you are! I can't just shut this off, just like you can't shut off the fact that you need to be thought of as perfect. But… how could you not have noticed anything?"
Petunia turned around, her eyes full of tears. Lily stared back at her, their expressions of pain mimicking the others. "She was suffering, Lily. You didn't see… she wouldn't let you because you couldn't have handled it."
"Yes I could have! I've-"
"No… you couldn't. I could barely handle it," Petunia confessed. "She was so sick, sicker than Dad was. She lost so much weight, and she was vomiting all the time; she couldn't keep anything in her stomach. Her hair was falling out, and she couldn't even get up to shower some days, she was so tired. Then one week… she just started to feel better, and then better; she had more energy, she took me shopping for baby clothes and all sorts of things. I was so happy to have her back, I thought… I thought the treatment was working. I didn't even think of the opposite."
Lily sniffed. "It didn't even cross your mind? When she suddenly started acting normal again?"
"No… she was still sick, but it just wasn't as bad; the treatment was worse than the illness, and it wasn't saving her. You saw her… at my wedding she was a mess, but when you came just now home she seemed healthier, didn't she? They must have given her pain medication to deal with some things… but… she was happy again. She talked about Vernon and I having children, helped me set up the house… I was just glad to have her back to normal so I didn't have to take care of her all the time," Petunia sobbed.
Lily sniffed, a tear falling down her cheek as she thought of how sick her mother was, and how awful she was for not being there. "You should have told me… I … I would have come home on weekends or something. Why didn't you tell me?"
Petunia sniffed and glared at Lily with a furious expression. "Because you were the chosen one… you got to be away from it at that school, practicing your tricks with your freak friends. I was stuck here… stuck with all of it – dad's death, dealing with Mum's grief, her pain and-"
"You think I got away from it?" Lily asked. "I was desperate to come home… I was so sad and worried! I had to hide it all from everyone! My Professors, my friends; I had to tuck it away so no one would know! There was no escape and-"
"Mum said to leave you alone, to leave you out of it… she didn't want my help either, but I couldn't just let her be. They were always protecting you and-"
"They were always protecting me because you were so horrid to me! The teasing, the mean-spirited comments; always calling me a freak, and doing things to torment me! Filling my trunk with mud so all my clothes were dirty when I got to school; writing all over my books, trying to steal my wand and snap it in half!" Lily shouted. "They wouldn't have had to protect me if you weren't so cruel!"
Petunia quelled slightly, but rebounded and stood up into Lily's face. "I know what you are… ever since you were born, you were just a stain on my life; ruining everything I had going for me. They thought you were so special, and you're not. If you were really magical, if you really had any talent, you could have stopped this from happening!" she shouted.
Lily backed away, tears falling from her eyes. "You sound like the same people hunting me… you sound just like them; that you can escape death. I couldn't have fixed this… no power could have stopped Mum or Dad from dying. I'm sorry … I'm sorry that I was born this way, that it was me and not you… but we're all we have left! Can't you-"
"No… I can't Lily. Mum is gone, and Dad is gone, and you and I live in two separate worlds. That's it," Petunia said coldly. "And if you keep this ridiculous nonsense up, I don't care what that will says… if that boy is so wealthy he can take care of you… because you aren't getting a damn thing from us," she snarled before storming away, leaving Lily standing in the common room with a shocked expression on her face.
James started as Petunia walked past him, her eyes cold and full of loathing as she looked him over quickly. He darted back to the area where they had been and walked over to Lily, who was looking at him with a pained expression as she collapsed into tears against his chest. "What happened?" he asked, pulling her onto the couch and sitting down.
Lily shook her head. "She's awful… she's just awful," Lily said through her sobs.
"She said something about a will… and that you wouldn't get anything," James muttered. Lily looked up at him with wide eyes. "Yes… I eavesdropped. I only heard snippets."
Lily sniffed, then laughed randomly and shook her head. "I don't know what that means… they can't have a copy of it already, but there's got to be-"
"C'mon," James said, pulling Lily to her feet and out the front door of the hospital.
"Wha… where are we going?" Lily asked, following as quickly as she could with James. His legs were much longer than hers, and she had to run to keep pace with him. As soon as they were outside, his arm wrapped around her waist and he twisted into nothingness. When the squeezing sensation faded, they were standing in the park across from her house. James hurried to the front door, allowing Lily to open it with her key before stepping over the threshold and pulling her inside.
"James… what-"
"Do you… do you know my phone number?" he asked sheepishly. "I don't have it memorized."
Lily chuckled lightly and motioned for him to follow her upstairs. They entered her room and she walked to her desk, sifting through a small drawer for his letter. James looked at her trunk and pulled out his wand, tapping the lock with it and muttering a quick incantation.
"What are you doing?" she asked curiously, handing him the letter with his phone number on it.
"I'm setting a protective charm; no one except you will be able to open this now," he explained, taking the letter and stepping outside her room. "Do you… I'm going to suggest you come to my house, but if you want to stay here I'll-"
"I'm going where ever you'll be, James; I don't want to be alone," she murmured, taking his hand.
James smiled sadly and kissed her hand. "I'm going to call my parents real quick, let them know we'll be coming in a while. Can you set a locking charm on your door?"
"O-kay… can I ask why?"
"I want to make sure … well… I don't want anyone to take your things, or go through them. Not that anyone would but… just in case," he said, trying not to accuse Lily's sister of doing something so horrible.
Lily nodded and turned back to the door, taking out her wand and muttering a few quiet words while James headed downstairs. Lily frowned; she knew James was right, but it felt sad to protect her things from Petunia. Thinking of a few things in her Mother's room that should be left alone until a will could be examined. Lily proceeded into her bedroom and performed the same protective charm. No one without a wand could remove anything from the household; it would simply become too heavy for them to lift.
When Lily headed downstairs, James was on the phone with a curious expression. "Oh… I didn't… yeah, that makes sense, though I wish I would have known," he was muttering. "…That was a good idea, did you… I can see Mum doing that. All right… we'll be over in a few minutes," he said before hanging up the phone.
"What's going on, James?"
James turned around and pulled Lily into his arms, holding her tightly for a few moments then releasing her and cupping her face with his hands. "I love you more than anything in the world, all right? You know that, right?"
"Yes…"
"All right… your mum left the name of a lawyer with my parents. He's got the will and everything, you can call him tomorrow. I'm guessing she left the name with your sister and her husband as well, so that's how everything will be sorted," James explained.
"I wonder why she didn't tell me," Lily mused, sitting down at the table.
"I think she didn't tell you because you would have asked too many questions," he said with a smirk. "That, and the lawyer is good friends with my mum… he's a wizard."
Lily's eyes widened. "What? She must have talked with your parents to get his name. Why-"
"She must have known that once she was gone, your sister would try and cut you off if you didn't leave school or something like that. The lawyer and my mum helped your mum draw up the will, she wanted to make sure you weren't left out in the cold. There's no way that Vernon and Petunia can take whatever she gave you. I'm not sure of all the details; my Mum knows more, she's going with you tomorrow, or whenever you visit, to make sure everything is in order," James explained.
"Oh… all right," Lily said, her mind racing with thoughts.
"I'm telling you this… because I want you to know you'll be able to take care of yourself. You won't have to worry about anything; your Mum made sure that you wouldn't be left with nothing," James said very seriously.
"That's good… that makes me feel a little safer," she muttered.
"But … you don't have to go it alone… just because you can support yourself doesn't mean that I – er… that you'll have to do everything alone. If anything were to… happen between us – not that it would… but now you know that you can take care of yourself. Even if something did happen between us – I don't want anything to. I want to stay with you forever… but if you didn't… you'll be okay. Though I'd always help you if you-"
Lily placed a finger over James' lips and shushed him very quietly. "I understand what you're saying, James… you don't have to explain," she whispered.
James smiled and kissed her forehead, wiping a tear away from her cheek. "Let's go, you need to rest, you look so tired," he whispered, pulling her into a hug. Lily nodded in agreement, following him outside and holding his hand as they Apparated back to his house.
Lily slept very soundly after a bowl of soup that Mrs. Potter had made, though she did cry for about an hour in James' arms. He had brought her up a cup of tea around midnight, which she guessed was mixed with a dreamless sleep potion since she fell asleep shortly afterward. She wasn't upset though; her head felt much clearer in the morning and she was grateful for whatever he had done.
She knew this would happen, she just hadn't expected it so soon; the pain was still so raw, but she felt a great deal of peace in James' presence. In addition to the pain, there was so much that needed to be done. It made her heart feel heavy and mind feel exhausted, and she found she was beyond thankful that James and his parents were there to help her out.
Lily called the lawyer, Hamilton Johnson, in the morning after some breakfast, discovering Petunia had already called in and set up an appointment. Mrs. Potter accompanied her to Bitterne Park to meet with them and discuss the contents of the will, including sale of the house in Hedge End.
"I can't thank you enough, Mrs. Potter," Lily said for what seemed like the fiftieth time. "This is something I didn't even think about needing to do."
"It's nothing, dear. After you and James made it official, Rose called me and asked for my thoughts on all of this. I had told her last year over the Holiday about my experience with Wizarding and Muggle laws, and she wanted to make sure everything could be taken care of for you. I was happy to help her out, and you out as well. You mean so much to Jamesy, and to Ambrose and me," she said kindly, placing her arm around her shoulders and squeezing her tightly.
"I'm so glad she had someone to help, thank you so much. You all mean a lot to me too, Mrs. Potter," Lily replied shyly.
"Please call me Lindsay… all of James' friends do, and you're much closer to him than they are," she insisted.
Lily smiled and chuckled. "I'm not sure about that; James and Sirius are like brothers."
"Yes… but that's not exactly what I meant," Lindsay teased, causing Lily to laugh very hard as they walked into a brick building with a large sign out front that read Johnson/Ericson Law Offices.
"I never knew that wizards had lawyers," Lily murmured very quietly as they sat in the waiting area.
"Oh yes. Most work through the Ministry, but a few practice outside of it. They usually get involved through the Muggle Liason office, and go into practice to help Muggle-borns out in situations like this. It's a good thing really; Muggle laws are much more complicated than many of us realize," Lindsay explained. "Plus, I knew Milton from my Hogwarts days, and I trust him over many of the other lawyers I know."
Lily quirked an eyebrow curiously as she watched James' mother smirk mischievously. "James is not unlike his father in the jealousy department," she explained very quietly, answering Lily's unspoken question. "He was obsessively envious of how close I was with Milton before he and I started going out. 'Course … I neglected to tell him that Milton is gay, and had no interest in me what-so-ever," she added, causing Lily to laugh very loudly again.
The door opened and Petunia and Vernon walked in, making faces at the unexpected presence of Lily and James' mother. "How did… how did you know we were-"
"I had Mr. Johnson's name, and called this morning; he told me about the appointment and suggested I come. Why didn't you tell me, Tuney? Not trying to keep me out of the loop on things are you?" Lily said in an innocent voice.
Petunia frowned and looked at Vernon, who smirked maliciously. "It's probably a good thing you're here, Lily," he muttered in a smug voice. "I believe that Petunia and I are your legal guardians for the next month, and there are some things we need to discuss," he said, walking into the man's office without even knocking on the door.
Lily's expression filled with horror as she turned to Mrs. Potter, who shook her head and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry about that, dear. He's counting his chickens... and in reality, he doesn't even have eggs," she muttered, frowning at Vernon and Petunia's backs.
Mr. Johnson greeted them all and began discussing the contents of Rose Evans' will. She granted permission to Lily and Petunia to sell the house, and split the proceeds equally between them. The same was to be done with the amount of her estate. Both Lily's mother and father had set up individual benefit accounts for the girls, and those proceeds were accessible to them to cover funeral and other expenses. The remainder could be invested, or spent as they pleased.
"There were a few specific requests in the will. Your mother's and father's wedding rings now belong to you, Lily; and Petunia, you have the china, if you wish to keep it," the man explained as he set identical copies of the will and a few other legal documents in front of the girls. "If everything looks in order, you can sign here as accepting and understanding the terms," he explained, indicating a line at the bottom of the forms.
Lily watched Petunia sign quickly and followed suit, reading over the paper while Vernon resumed talking.
"About the matter of Lily here and us having control over her affairs and finances," Vernon began. "I feel that it is in her best interest-"
Lily eyes had narrowed, she was about to protest but Mr. Johnson held up a hand and interrupted Vernon's thoughts. "Actually, no; Lily, your mother left your care entrusted to Ambrose and Lindsay Potter until you come of Muggle age… which I understand is just over a month," Mr. Johnson explained, looking from Vernon to Lily.
Vernon's face grew red. "Well now wait just a minute; she can't just-"
"You see right here, just above where your wife signed? Lily's guardianship does not revert to Petunia. Mrs. Evans wished it to be given to Mr. and Mrs. Potter, which is why Lindsay accompanied Lily today, am I correct?"
"Yes, that's right," Mrs. Potter said, examining the forms. "Of course, it's really just a formality since you are already of age, Lily; it's more for the Muggle documentation of things that she had it put in," she explained looking at Lily, who was biting her lip shyly and avoiding looking at Petunia's and Vernon's shocked faces.
"Muggle… both of you have used that term," muttered Petunia, her face full of confusion, until suddenly the truth hit her. "You! You're… you're one of them, aren't you?" she snarled at Mr. Johnson.
"If by 'one of them' you mean a Wizard, yes, that is correct," Mr. Johnson said with a chuckle. "I assure you, your mother was not bewitched or forced to accept my services in anyway. She approached me with concerns that Lily might be overlooked in proceedings, and wanted to make sure her half of the estate was protected. The paper you have signed prohibits redistribution of the assets, or falsification of the amount divided in the estate. Also, your mother-in-law's former residence now has a charm over it; once it is sold, Lily will be notified, and the proceeds can be split accordingly."
Petunia and Vernon looked livid as they stared at the man. "I did tell your mother that she need not be concerned," Mr. Johnson continued. "You wouldn't try to take advantage of your own sister, would you Mrs. Dursley?"
Petunia's face turned red, she sniffed and turned her gaze toward Lily, who was looking at her with a completely calm expression. "Of course… of course not," she muttered, gathering the papers together and placing them in her purse without another word.
J&L&J&L&J&L&J&L&J&L
December thirtieth was sunny but cold, the small crowd of people gathered around the Evans' residence kept the door shut tightly after each new visitor stepped through. Petunia and Vernon did most of the greeting and accepting of apologies, but Lily had a slew of visitors that kept reminding her of how out of place she now was.
"Oh, my dear… I'm so sorry this has happened. Whatever will you do after school now?"
"These things happen, Lily; it's just such a shame that you have had to spend so much time away. I'm happy that you've been able to expand your giftedness, but to be away from your family at such a time… that must be hard."
"Petunia is holding up well, I know this is hard on you both. It seems she shouldered most of the burden of your mother's care while you were away…"
Lily moaned quietly and buried her head in her hands. "Why can't they serve wine at funerals?"
James chuckled. "It's probably not appropriate… don't worry, this is the last visitation. You only have about twenty minutes left, and then we'll go to the cemetery," he whispered in a soothing voice from his spot next to her.
Fearing an outburst from Petunia and odd questions from her family, Lily had graciously accepted apologies from her friends, but asked them to stay away until after the funeral so she could deal with her family as best she knew how. James had relayed the message, but remained steadfast by her side. He could tell Lily was distraught and struggling to hold herself together, though he had no idea how much his presence soothed her and kept her steady.
The minister who had known Lily and Petunia both since birth ordained over their mother's service, just as he had done for their father. His message was short and full of love, expressing both his condolences to the girls and encouraging them to seek the comfort of their families.
Lily felt tears well up in her eyes as she thought about family. She had no blood family who wanted any part of her; that much was clear. They either thought she was so gifted she looked down on them, or she was a freak who deserved to be locked away. She knew her friends and James were there for her, but not having a blood relative to turn to made her feel extremely lonely.
Lily laid a single white flower on her mother's casket, and watched with watery eyes as the casket lowered into the ground; everyone around her began to discuss other things. Petunia and Vernon were talking about the house, Lily's aunts were discussing their trip back home, but Lily stared at the ground, watching the last relative who cared for her disappear into the cold Earth.
"Lils? Do you want to stay?" asked James' voice from very close to her. He reached out hesitantly, taking her hand and frowning. He felt helpless, there was nothing he could say or do to make her pain disappear.
Lily sniffed, shaking her head as she wiped away her tears. "No… I, um-"
"Before you go, Lily, there is the matter of the house," Vernon suddenly said. "I know we discussed it yesterday and your mother's will states-"
"It states that half of her estate, including the house, is mine; which means you can't sell it without my consent," Lily said, not looking up at him; her eyes remained fixed on the grave.
"Well… yes… erm, which is why-"
Petunia suddenly was at his side, frowning harshly at Lily and James' figures. "Don't be difficult about this, Lily; it's not like you can come back and –"
"She can if she wants," James said coldly, glaring back at Petunia's figure as he placed an arm around Lily's waist.
"I told you to stay out-"
Lily rallied and glared furiously at Petunia. "Do NOT speak to James in that tone; he's done more for me the past forty-eight hours than you've done the last seven years," Lily snarled. "Put it on the market, I'll know when it sells… your signature on the will assured that. I'll come home then, and we'll discuss the split and everything else that needs to be taken care of. I put a charm on my things: my trunk, my room… you try to get in there and snoop around, there will be consequences."
Petunia sputtered and narrowed her eyes. "You can't prevent me from taking a look at what may be mine! You-"
"It's only on my things, Petunia. Mum and I spent two days going through them and setting aside what I wished to keep. I didn't touch any of your things, and I've made sure that you won't touch mine," Lily replied calmly.
"You… you can't just-"
"Yes, I can. You and I live in two different worlds, Petunia; I have the power to do that… and nothing you say or do can stop me. I'll talk to you when someone buys the house, otherwise I have nothing to say," Lily replied, turning around and walking with James out of the graveyard into the street.
James followed her lead as they walked away from the cemetery and down the street. The snow was falling heavily, flakes sticking to her hair and black cloak as she walked. Lily kept walking, not saying a word, silently leading James to where he knew not. She finally stopped at a park, sitting herself on the swings and staring at her feet. James sat next to her and pushed himself lightly back and forth as she did.
"Was it wrong of me to do that?" asked Lily, continuing to stare at the snowy ground.
"No. You did the right thing, Lils. They were going to try and take everything you had… and obviously felt no remorse about it," James said coldly. He watched Lily nod, and his expression became soft. "Everything will be all right. Your mum loved you and understood that you're a witch; she didn't want you to abandon your life… that's why she wanted to make sure you were safe. She wanted you to stay in our world, with all of us… where you belong."
Lily nodded again, finally turning her eyes to his face. "This is the swing set I used to play on when I was a kid," she explained. "I used to jump out when I was at full height… it scared my mother to death."
"I remember you telling me that," James chuckled.
"I used magic when I did that. I used magic to help organize a bunch of photos for my mom… and to pack my trunk. I use magic to do everything," she said.
"It's useful…"
"I don't belong here."
James nodded, reaching down and taking her hand. "You don't."
"I belong with you," Lily whispered.
James smiled and squeezed her hand tightly. "You always have."
Lily stood and walked in front of James, wiping a single tear from her cheek as she looked down at him. "Take me home," she whispered.
James smiled, standing up and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, squeezing her tightly when she wrapped her arms around his waist. "I can do that."
It was dark when they arrived in Cricklade. James held Lily's hand as they walked toward his house, the lights in the window glowing warmly, a contrast from the cold air outside. He opened the door and escorted her inside, pausing behind her when she stopped and gasped at the amount of people present in the Potter's living room.
Julia rushed forward, throwing her arms around Lily and squeezing her tightly. "I'm so sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry," her friend whispered, voice shaking as she clutched her tightly.
Lily laid her head against her Julia's shoulder and felt her eyes well up with tears again. Another set of hands patted her gently on the back, and she looked up to see Sirius standing beside them. He pulled her close to him and squeezed her tightly with one arm before releasing her and placing his hand against her cheek in a comforting gesture. Remus walked forward and hugged her tightly as well. "You've taken care of all of us; we can return the favor," he muttered quietly, causing her to chuckle when he patted her on the back. Peter patted her on the back and muttered a quiet apology, she smiled to let him know he didn't have to say something profound for her to know he sympathized. Marlene and Alice both stepped forward, Frank by Alice's side. Marlene stroked Lily's hair while Alice squeezed her very tightly, trying to communicate her empathy through touch.
Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Slughorn were also present, each of them offering their condolences and support. James' parents held on to Lily for an extended period of time, his mother taking her face in her hands and kissing her forehead. "We've got you now; your home is here, with all of us," she said quietly.
"Thank you," Lily whispered, almost inaudibly, as she hugged Mrs. Potter very tightly. She tried to communicate her thanks to the room at large, but it seemed they understood how much their gesture meant to her without her expressing it verbally.
James' mum had made a small meal and everyone stayed for a few hours, talking about various things that were happening in their world and helping distract Lily from her grief. She felt grateful for the companionship, thankful for their kindness, and comforted by everyone's consistent statements that she belonged with them in their world; her world.
The evening came to an end, and slowly people began to filter away. Dumbledore and McGonagall were talking about the most recent attacks in the Dining Room; James found himself seated near the fireplace, Lily's sleeping figure cuddled against his chest as he talked with Sirius and Julia.
"I always knew Lily's sister was a piece of work… but I never knew it was that bad," Julia was saying as she threaded her fingers through Sirius' hair.
"Had I had any sense about me I would have lost my temper… but I was still in shock about everything happening so quickly," said James, thinking back to Petunia's comments to Lily. "I still don't know everything she said to her when they made us leave the room; all I know is when I went back in, Lily was in tears."
Sirius snorted. "Well… she's better off without her then."
"I agree, but you know what it's like to have your family forsake you better than any of us, Sirius," Julia said. "Neither James nor I have any idea what that's like… but you two-"
"Yeah, I know what it feels like," Sirius interrupted, his voice stern as he spoke to Julia. "Like I said… she's better off. Lily is better than that, she doesn't need it."
"And neither do you," Julia replied.
Sirius snorted, his eyes fixed on the fire as his posture relaxed and Julia began to stroke his hair again. James glanced at him curiously. "Your mum didn't write you, did she?"
"No… but something is up with my brother," Sirius muttered. "He's… we never got on all right, we just kind of avoided each other since he started school. But he's been hanging 'round Mulciber lately. He was with Snape one day, and when I walked past, he made a motion like he was going to hex me but thought better of it."
"You don't think…"
"No… My parents think Voldemort is doing the right thing, but they wouldn't want him to join up. Hell, he'll only be sixteen in January; I can't imagine Voldemort wanting a sixteen year old among his ranks. Plus, the way Reg works, he'd have to hand-hold him in everything… never thinks for himself, bloody coward," Sirius growled.
There was a low chuckle behind them, and the three of them all turned to see Dumbledore smiling in a bemused manner down at them. "Never be too quick to judge, Sirius… people can change," Dumbledore said quietly.
Sirius nodded but still remained somber as he thought of his brother. "Anything going on with the Order?" he asked, anxious to turn his thoughts away from his family.
"I'll let you all know when we have another meeting, they've been few and far between at this moment while we're getting reorganized after the last attack. James, you will relay my condolences to Lily again, won't you?" Dumbledore asked, glancing down at Lily's figure.
"Yes, sir," James nodded.
"Very well, we'll see you all very soon," Dumbledore said as he and McGonagall stepped into the fireplace and vanished. Sirius sighed heavily, watching as James gathered Lily in his arms and took her upstairs to the spare room to sleep.
Sirius leaned back into Julia's chest and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her fingers threading through his hair. "I only brought that up because I think that it would be good to let Lily know she's not alone in her situation," Julia said quietly.
"What situation?"
"Having no blood family she can to return to," Julia replied.
Sirius sighed heavily and stared at the fire, saying goodnight to James' parents as they passed. He didn't respond to Julia's statement, lost in thought as he over her observation. He did understand how Lily felt; their situations were different, but the same in so many respects. She had no blood relatives living who cared for her; he no longer wanted to be part of his blood family. He was ashamed of them and their beliefs. Nothing would ever convince him that being pure-blood made him a cut above the rest. If anything, he'd seen in more than one instance that a person of lesser blood purity could be twice the wizard he would ever be.
Julia sighed and moved to stand up, but Sirius turned around and caught her by the waist. "I'll let her know, Jules. I didn't mean to snap at you; I don't like talking about my family," he said quietly, threading the fingers of one hand into her hair.
"I know; I don't blame you. Lily is my best friend, Sirius… I know there is probably part of her that feels very lonely right now, but she's not," replied Julia.
"She knows… James is reminding her, we're all reminding her."
"You aren't alone either," said Julia, placing her hands against Sirius' face and looking into his steely-grey eyes. "You feel like you're alone… but James is your brother, Remus and Peter too. And his parents think of you as a son… you aren't an orphan, Sirius. You're not alone."
Sirius nodded, smiling gently as he turned and kissed the inside of Julia's wrist. "You see so much more in me than I thought anyone ever would."
Julia smirked. "More than just a pretty face, you know," she whispered.
Sirius laughed and moved forward, kissing her soft lips soundly and laying her down on her back. "I love you, Julia."
Julia paused, her eyes widening in shock as Sirius' words sank into her ears. He was lying over top of her, holding her very close as he kissed along her jaw line. She smiled and hugged him closer. "I love you. And you need to take me upstairs now…"
Sirius laughed and scooped her into his arms, walking very quietly to his room across the hall from James' and casing a silencing charm as he shut the door.
A/N: Update on a Monday Night... craziness! Thanks for all your reviews; I love the comments, I love the feedback, and I am so glad you are enjoying the story and that it keeps getting interesting. So much has happened to them in such a short period of time, and I love watching them grow closer together. I talk like they're my own children or something, the power of characterization! Thanks again for all your feedback.