I wake up to someone slapping me hard across the cheek.
"Breakfast!" Someone screeches.
I hear laughter as people get ready for the day. I grab a pair of pants and a t-shirt and pull them on, then brush out my hair, which is a complete rat's nest.
I swing my feet onto the floor and put on my black high-tops, then join the g=crowd that's gathering by the door. The door is flung open and a collective cheer rises as we all race outside, rolling and jumping. We take the usual path through the forest, vaulting over rocks and fallen trees. Some of my cabinmates scale the trees and then jump from branch to branch, whooping with delight.
Somehow, I find that I'm enjoying the run. My feet pound in a steady rhythm, my heart races, and my breathing evens out. I can hear my own heartbeat, I can think clearly, I feel free.
The feeling of freedom lingers with me throughout all of breakfast, and I'm so excited about the upcoming quest that I barely taste my food. It's all I can do to contain myself and not start just dancing and singing.
Wait - dancing and singing? Where did this side of my personality come from?
I really don't know.
What I do know is that I'm happy. I never used to be happy, ever. For one reason or another, I was blaming myself for something bad that happened. Sometimes it was Bianca's death, sometimes I was sad because I was all alone, sometimes I felt terrible for what I'd done to so many people and so many creatures.
I don't understand why I ever did that. It feels so great to be truly happy again.
It's just so great.
I make a promise to myself when breakfast is over: I'll never blame myself for anything ever again, if it really truly wasn't my fault.
When I come to this conclusion, the mountain of weight that's been sitting on my shoulders for the past few days is lifted, and I feel more free than I ever have before.
I'm not just happy now.
I'm free.