Chapter 25: The Beginning of the End

It's raining again. This storm seems to be following us like a lovesick puppy.

It's worse today though; the waves of the English Channel rise as high as hills.

Allen and I stand in the shelter of the boathouse with a crowd of other people, pretty much knowing the outcome of whether or not we can sail across before one of the deckhand's announces it:

"Everyone, you're attention please. We regret to inform you that all sailing out of this junction has been postponed due to the weather."

A universal groan rumbles up from the crowd.

Allen sighs, moving over to sit on a bench in the corner.

I follow him, pulling out my pipe.

"What now?" Allen inquires as I light with my new lighter and puff on it lazily.

"Food?"

"Food."

"Allen! Cas!" We both turn our heads in time to see a familiar pair of dark green pigtails bobbing towards us out of the crowd.

Allen grins, "Lenalee!"

She smiles and waves.

"What a coincidence running into you here," I remark through my pipe. "We were just about to get some dinner. Care to join us?"

The other girl smiles. "Of course."

We hurry through the rain towards a tiny café remodeled out of the bottom of an old lighthouse. The circular dining space is warm and cozy, efficient in shutting out the raging storm that batters the windowpanes and swings the sign hanging over the door.

The place is crowded due to many people in the area being stranded from the storm, but we manage to secure a booth by the window.

We'd just sat down when a slightly frazzled-looking waitress hurries over, breathless from the rush.
"Hi. What can I get you?"

Allen glances at the menu, and then hands it to her.
"Yes."

She blinks. "Pardon?"

"Me too," I add, handing her my copy.

"I-I don't understand."

"We want one of everything," Allen explains.

Her jaw drops. "Um, sir, some of those meals can feed six people."

Lenalee giggles. "Oh, don't worry: these two are worth three times as that."

"Just do it," I add, starting to lose my patience.

With a shrug, the serving girl hurries off.

About fifteen minutes later, she and a few of her coworkers return, arms full of dish after dish as they laid them across the table, covering the entire surface, so we couldn't even rest our elbows on it.

They pour us drinks, all of them terribly confused, but Allen and I pay them no mind as we start digging in.

Lenalee shakes her head as she forks her salad.
"You two are unbelievable."

Allen glances up, his face full of chowder. "Huh?"

I snort into my potato salad. "So, how was your mission, Lenalee. Spain, was it?"

She shrugs. "Not all that interesting. I went there to collect Innocence, but it turns out it was just a fluke."

"That's disappointing. Have you heard from Kanda? Is he still alive?"

Lenalee laughs. "Last time I checked he was in Copenhagen."

"Lucky bastard," I mumble, taking a sip of my drink, "I hear it's pretty there this time of year, sure beats this." I nod to the rain before taking a sip of my drink. "Wow, that's good liquor."

Lenalee frowns. "Cas, I don't think you should be drinking that."

"Why? It hardly gets me buzzed."

"It's not that, it's just," she lowers her voice, "You're under-aged."

I shrug. "They didn't ask, so I didn't say. Besides, I'll be eighteen in six months."

Lenalee sighs.

I jerk my elbow. "Allen, if you try to take my cookie again, I'll give your other eye a scar."

"But I don't have anymore."

"Ugh, fine. It's a good thing I like you."

I roll my eyes as Allen snatches it from my plate.

"Anyways, I'm more interested in how your visit with General Yeegar went," Lenalee chimes in.

"It went great," Allen replies, eagerly chewing on the chocolate cookie, "The General's a very nice man."

"Yeah, he had a lot of gems of wisdom," I agree, cutting into my chicken, "You can see how the guy used to be a teacher."

Lenalee nods, smiling wistfully. "Yeah, I remember that from the time I spent with him."

Allen looks at her, surprised, "You spent time with the General?"

"Yeah, I traveled with him for a bit when I was still trying to learn how to be an Exorcist. I was pretty young, so it was nice to have him with me. He helped me a lot."

"That's great," Allen declares.

I'm not really listening; my gaze is once again focused outside. The rain is so thick and falling so fast and so long it seems like it's going on and on all over the world, like the storm is a shadow covering the face of the planet, bringing darkness all over the world.

I blink. What a morbid thought.

But, as I'm looking, I can't help but feel a strange feeling washing over me, like my mind and body are slowly being pulled from each other. I grip my fork in my hand, trying to regain a sense of myself, but the disconnect continues.

My nostrils fill with the scent of blood, fresh, spilled across the soil. I jerk my head, but there's not a drop in the crowded restaurant. The only thing red is the drinks behind the bar.

I swallow. Something's not right. I feel dizzy and there's goosebumps on my skin, crawling, crawling up my arms, like something's squirming under my skin.

Blood, blood on the dead flesh, the bugs in the rotting corpse.

Oh God!

I cry out, dazed as I stagger out of the booth and fall right to the floor.

"Cas!" Allen and Lenalee jump up in alarm.

I don't hear them; their voices fade as a white light explodes in front of my eyes. My body seizes as all control leaves me.

I jerk and writhe, panic burning in my veins as I kick my legs that no longer seem to belong to me.

I'm numb, sweaty, hot, burning.

"Cas! Cas!" Allen is crouching beside me. My vision is blurry, and his voice sounds so far away.

I'm looking at nothing, feeling nothing. Then suddenly I feel everything.

My whole body contracts, and then I scream.

Pain. Fresh, pure, unadulterated pain rips through my chest like nothing I had ever felt in my life.
I scream, throwing my head back as I grip at my chest, tearing at the fabric of my coat.

Something inside, something is breaking, shattering, pieces, pieces, falling into the wind, swallowed by the rain.

Darkness. I can't see.

I scream again. My heart is rupturing. I gasp, my chest heaves. I can't breathe. Panic bubbles up in my chest. I heave, rolling onto my side as my dinner comes up all over the floor.

"Cas. Cas, can you hear me?" Allen's voice. He sounds to be on the verge of tears.

I feel his hands, soft from the gloves. They feel cold. I'm burning. There's fire in my chest, it scorches.

It's tearing at my lungs. I feel Allen's arms encircle me, pulling me into him.

I'm screaming as the pain comes again and again, rolling like the waves of the Channel as the storm continues, the darkness.

Allen's gripping me tighter. I feel something wet trickle down my cheeks. I'm in agony.

My heart is burning, my blood is weeping, everything is scalding me.

"It's alright, Cas. It's going to be alright," Allen grips me tighter as my body stills.

I scream again. My heart is fire, it burns, it's Innocence.

It hurts. It hurts.

I grip Allen's coat and bury my face in his chest.

It hurts. It hurts. Ithurtsithurtsithurstithurts.

Oh God, make it stop!

I just continue shrieking, it rips through my throat as my voice goes hoarse. I'm limp, my insides are collapsing, melting. I'm fluid, liquid.

I can't feel anything but the pain, spreading throughout me.

It comes again and again, wave after wave, slicing through me, tearing apart my insides.

God, please kill me.

I'm dying.

Make it stop, make it stop.

I feel myself slipping, whether to unconsciousness or further I can't tell, but there's bliss on the edge of the darkness, bliss free of the pain.

"Cas," Allen's voice is soft; it masks the panic in his mind as his fingers trail through my hair. "Hold on, Cas. You're not going anywhere. You're not leaving me. Just hold on. Help is coming. A carriage will take you to the hospital. Just hold on."

My body seizes and I scream again, curling inwards, trying to fold in on myself to escape the pain. My core writhes, my heart melts, the liquid runs down my being.

I'm hot and black and there's darkness, and I can't even scream anymore.

I can't move.

It's like I'm the pain itself.

Make it stop.

Then a hand grabs me. A hand. No wings. Butterfly wings.

Wings as black as night.

I hear someone crying.

Maybe it's Allen.

Maybe it's me, weeping more bloody tears.

Then I black out.

The Lord Millennium is in search of you. Looking for the Heart. Now, have you heard the news? Maybe you stole it from him. I'll see if it's true.

It's like I'm floating in fog, weightless, without anything. There's nothing but white all around me.

Am I dead?

Cas…

Emma?

I jerk awake. My eyes are sticky as I open them. The ceiling is grey, and the rain howls outside the window at my head.

Feeling slowly returns to my body, trickling down my torso and limbs like the rain dripping down the glass.

My eyes flit around the room. I'm in a hospital bed; the sheets are wet and there's an IV in my arm. Something is gripping my other arm.

I jerk my head to see a small gloved hand, stained with Blood, is lightly resting within my open palm. I follow it back to see that Allen is kneeling at the foot of the bed, his head resting on his right arm while his left grips mine. He's shoulders are rising and falling steadily, and his eyes are closed.
He's asleep.

I suddenly realize I'm holding my breath and exhale forcefully. My lungs feel raw, like I haven't breathed in weeks.

Beside me, Allen shifts. His eyes flutter open. Groggily, he sits up.

"K-Kid," is about all I can get out as speaking causes my throat to flare up.

"Cas," Allen exclaims in a mixture of surprise and relief as he grips my hand tighter. "You're alright. You're gonna be alright." It seems like he's reassuring himself more than me.

I smile weakly. "What happened…?" I whisper hoarsely, "Where…" My words morph into a choke. I lean forward as I retch, Blood dribbling down my chin. Allen places a hand on my shoulder to steady me, wiping the Blood from my jaw with the back of his hand.

Is that were the Blood on his glove came from?

Have I been doing that a lot? How long has he been here?

"You're in the hospital," he answers my unspoken question, "You've only been here a few hours. It's about eleven o'clock. I think. Anyway, Lenalee was talking with the doctor; she said he thinks you had a grand mal seizure, but I don't…" His voice trails off, and his grip tightens on my fingers. "Cas, I don't think it was just that. I don't know if you remember, but you were yelling at me, you were saying that your heart was melting."

I find myself somewhere between embarrassed and horrified.

"Cas, you were in pain. You're never in pain," Allen continues, "I saw you put your pipe out on your forearm in Mater. Cas, what happened?"

I can only shrug. I'm too shell-shocked to move any more.
"I don't know," I breathe.

"Cas," Allen squeezes his eyes shut, and I can see tears leaking through, "That was the scariest thing I've ever seen. You were screaming…you were screaming that you were dying."

"Yeah, but I didn't," I find myself able to sit up somewhat, leaning back against the propped pillows. I reach up to gently brush the tears away from his eyes; he reopens them at my touch. "I'm fine now."

Allen bits his lip. "Oh, Cas." He throws his arms around me, hugging me a little too forcefully, but I don't care as I gingerly wrap my own around his neck, fisting my fingers through his hair.

I'd scared him; I'd scared him half to death, and somehow that makes me feel worse than the seizure, or whatever it was, ever did.

"I'm alright," I whisper as Allen tightens his grip. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm alright."

The door suddenly creaks open, and we hastily jump apart.

Lenalee staggers into the darkened room from the brightly lit hall; she doesn't seem to notice us. She moves at the pace of a sleepwalker, and her glassy eyes stare vaguely at the wall.

Allen starts forward, "Lenalee, what is it?"

She swallows, still not looking at him. "General Yeegar…is dead."

I feel like I've been punched in the gut.
"What?" I cry as Allen's knees buckle and he grabs the edge of the bed for support.

"No…No, he can't be."

"Lenalee, are you sure?" I ask, slowly sitting up a little further.

She nods, biting her lip as tears start leaking from her eyes.
"A-About five hours ago," he voice is shaking, and she's speaking so quietly that I have to lean in a little closer, "T-The General was attacked by a group of Akuma…and two N-Noah. He was found t-tied to a tree in his own C-Chains with his organs r-removed, and the Innocence with him had been turned to dust…!" Her last words erupt into a cry as she falls to her knees, sobbing as she buries her face in her hands.

Allen leans heavily against the bed post, gripping his face as his shoulders shake.
"How? How could this happen?!" he yells at the floor.

I close my eyes and flop back against the pillows. I'm sweating and trembling as I rub my fingers across my eyes. I can't breathe; it's like the ghost of my seizure is still moving inside me, heightened by the pain.

Yeegar's pain. I felt it, in that moment, and now I see his face and hear his words rolling around and around inside my mind.

Yeegar…General Yeegar.

If I could cry, I would be in that moment, like Allen and Lenalee.

In that moment, I wish I could cry.

I feel like my inability to is making it worse, it's forced to be all kept down inside of me were it festers, rotting my insides.

The knot in my stomach suddenly moves upward into my throat. I choke, gasping as I lurch forward, clutching my neck.

Allen and Lenalee look up, their grief momentarily forgotten and replaced with fear.

"Cas," Allen's at my side in an instant, gingerly touching the sides of my face as I continue to shake and retch. "Cas, can you talk? Are you choking?"

I nod, squeezing my eyes shut as they start to water. I heave as my throat burns.

My vision starts to blur, and I vaguely hear Lenalee screaming into the hallway.
"Doctor! Doctor, come quick! She's choking."

I vomit Blood all over the bedsheets, gasping heavily as the fluid dribbles down my chin, burning my skin.

Allen rubs gentle circles around my back as I continue to cough and splutter.

"I-I'm alright," I fight to keep my voice from shaking, "I'm alright. I'm-" My words suddenly catch in my throat, my eyes grow wide as I open my mouth, but not a sound comes out. It's like a hand is clasped firmly around my windpipe.

Allen looks at me, "Cas, are you okay? Can you breathe?"

I try to say something, but the link between my brain and my mouth seems to be broken. I'm screaming words inside my head, but they're only thoughts, not a sound comes out of my mouth.

Lenalee bursts in a second later with the doctor.

"Sir, help her. She can't-," Allen looks panicked as he jumps back, allowing the doctor to bend down beside me

With a shaking hand, I reach up to feel my throat, trying to see if it's still there.

"Cas?" the doctor asks slowly, "Can you hear me?"

I want to say yes, I want to scream it, but my mouth starts moving, and it doesn't feel like it even belongs to me.

Absurdly, unexplainably, I start singing:

The Lord Millennium is in search of you. Looking for the heart, now, have you heard the news? Maybe you stole it from him? I'll see if it's true.

Everyone's looking at me, startled and confused.

As soon as the words stop flowing, I gasp as though I've been released, more Blood pours from my mouth like projectile vomit as I heave.

"Yes. Yes! I'm here. I can talk! I can talk! I can talk! I can! I can! IcanIcanIcanIcanICAN!" My voice rises in volume as I continuously try to prove to everyone and to myself that my voice is mine, that it belongs to me and no one else.

"I CAN!"

I scream before feeling the twinge of a needle in my arm. I recoil but drop out of consciousness before I really have time to react, everything around me quickly melts away.

"Komui's coming today," Allen says half-heartedly.

I'm sitting on one of the hospital balconies in a wheelchair with a blanket around my knees. Allen's leaning against the railing beside me, looking out at the Channel.

The sun is out, seeming brighter than usual after so many days of rain.

It has been three of those since I'd been admitted to the hospital. Three days since General Yeegar had been murdered.

It's been rough. I kept choking up Blood, and I couldn't keep any food down at first. I'd have night terrors too, where I'd wake up screaming, convinced that someone was watching me outside my bedroom window, despite the nurse's insistence that there was no one there.

I've been on so much opium, I might never need nicotine again.

But it's been hard for everyone; even Allen refuses to eat sometimes.

I reach out and grip his sleeve. He turns to look at me, his eyes sad as the wind ruffles his hair around them. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No. It's just, I have a question, but I'm afraid to ask it."

Allen turns to face me fully. "What? What is it?"

I sigh, dropping my eyes to my covered knees.

"Cas…"

I bite my lip. "W-What time did we have dinner on that night?"

Allen looks at me, confused. "Um…I think it was like six or something."

I inhale sharply, my hands closing into fists. I knew it.

"Cas, what is it?"

I look up at Allen. "I had my 'attack' at six o'clock, and we found out that General Yeegar was dead at eleven o'clock."

"So, what's your point."

"If that's true, Lenalee said that he had died five hours before eleven o'clock then that means that my attack came at exactly the same time General Yeegar died."

Allen pales instantly, realizing what I'm saying.
I don't believe in coincidences. I can't. Not after everything that's happened. Besides, we both know that whatever had happened to me was something far more than a seizure, the involuntary singing was enough of an indication.

"Hey," Lenalee's voice is so soft, I almost don't hear her. I turn around to see her standing in the balcony doorway. "My brother's here. Lavi and Bookman are too."

A few minutes later, Allen wheels me back into my hospital room where the Chief and two book keepers are waiting.

Lavi's single eyes grows huge when he sees me.
"Cas! I almost didn't believe it."

I scowl at him, abated when Bookman kicks him in the shines.

"I hope you're feeling a little better today, Cas," Komui calls to me. "I was informed by your doctor of what's happened to you these last few days. It's most disturbing. Now, Lenalee has told me that you believe the seizure you had was somehow linked to your Innocence."

I nod.

"Can you explain that?" Bookman asks.

"Well, my Innocence is my…" I glance at Lenalee, the only person present, who doesn't already know, "…heart, and during the attack, it felt like my heart was melting. It was more like cardiac arrest than a seizure, but since my heart doesn't beat that kind of thing is sort of an impossibility."

"There's something else, Chief," Allen adds, "We've also calculated that Cas's attack happened around the same time that General Yeegar was killed."

Komui's eyes shot up into his hairline.
"Could that be a coincidence, Cas?"

I shake my head. "Not likely."

Lavi crosses his arms, his expression thoughtful, "Well, Cas, as an empath, perhaps your body responded to a fellow Accommodator's death and to the eight Innocence pieces that were destroyed also destroyed."

Lenalee gasps. "Eight pieces were destroyed."

Komui nods gravely. "Yes, couple that with the General's death, we have ourselves quite the hefty loss. The Earl has dealt a mighty blow." He leans forward in his chair, steepling his fingers as he eyes us all with a very serious expression. "Listen closely, all of you. Events have begun moving again, not only has there been an increase in Akuma attack in the past six months, the resurgence of the Noah Clan and now the attack on a Black Order General."

"What could this all mean?" Allen asks.

Bookman looks to him. "Obviously, the Earl is planning something."

"We know this for a fact," Komui pauses to push his glasses further up his nose. He looks distraught, but he's trying to hide it. "You see, General Yeegar was taken to the hospital before he died. He was in…terrible pain, and the only thing he said was what we have now interpreted to be a message from the Earl. It was-."

"The Lord Millennium is in search of you, looking for the Heart. Now, have you heard the news. Maybe you stole it from him? I'll see if it's true," I recite the words I'd uttered the a few nights prior before he can finish.

Komui looks at me, horrified. "How did you…"

"Because we got the same message on the same night," Allen explains.

"B-But how?" Komui stammers.

"Through Cas," Lenalee replies.

The Chief leaps to his feet. "What?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah, it came out of my mouth, but it wasn't me talking. It was like I was being controlled, like someone else's voice was using my lips."

Komui looks stricken; he collapses back into his chair and buries his face in his hands.

"Brother," Lenalee goes over and places a hand on his shoulder.

"So, it really was everyone," he whispers, slowly raising his head. "Before I received news of Yeegar, I got a call from Kanda in Copenhagen, than Suman in Russia, then Chakar and Kazana in Kenya. It was all over, every Exorcist calling to tell me that they had heard, one way or another, a message from the Earl, and it was always the same.

"He said that he was looking for something," Lavi chimes in, "That the 'seven-thousand-year prologue' has ended and now the real show is about to begin with us Exorcists as the main 'players'."

"So, you were right," I say to Komui, "The Earl is increasing his movements. He's planning something."

"I wish we knew what," Allen adds.

Komui looks up from his hands. "We do know. The song explains it."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Komui sighs, looking between Allen, Lenalee and me.
"Tell me. Do any of you know anything about the Heart of Innocence?"

A/N: Dun dun da! Kind of a meta chapter that almost made me pull my hair out. Seizures are hard as hell to write (especially from someone who's never had one) I hope I at least got the idea across. Leave a review on your way to the next chapter:)
Fun fact: the ordering the entire menu thing is based on an experience my dad had in high school with the football players.