I realized as I was working on this chapter how close I am to the end. I'm already dreading it. As necessary as it is (and it is CLEAR in my head, FINALLY!), I hate ending things, and this has been a pleasure to write, though unexpected. That said, I think I'm looking at between three and five more chapters depending on how things shape up as I'm writing. ( I could have done it in two really long chapters, including this one, but that didn't work for me, and updating would have taken forever!) For those of you that wait patiently for updates, you'll be happy to know that the next chapter is already quite far along, so the next update shouldn't be so far away.

The end of this chapter, by the way, I was forced to add. (You'll know what I mean when you get there) Ken twisted my arm, and Omi pointed out that not only would it lighten things up, but they were too cute to ignore. I think the boys were just messing with me.

Thank you for reading and for all the wonderful reviews and encouragment!

Enjoy.

fire mystic

Stepping Out

As the door closed, Aya rolled back to the window, a warm feeling settling in his chest. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? To allow someone to care for him? About him? He wasn't sure, but at the moment the pleasure of it was far outweighing any guilt that went hand in hand with it.

Yohji had left the dinner choice up to him, and honestly he would have rather stayed in, but in this he felt an entirely different type of guilt. Yohji had been catering to him, keeping his promise to keep things low-key in public, and going out of his way to make sure Aya was comfortable. But Aya wasn't entirely sure Yohji was comfortable himself. He was outgoing, liked to be around people, liked to know what was going on in that world out there that they were separate from as Weiss, and he had given all that up for Aya. Going out to dinner seemed a simple way of giving some of that back to him, as well as appeasing his more social side. And he trusted Yohji, knew that he would handle the situation and Aya's self-consciousness with care.

As Aya had predicted, Yohji was thrilled with his choice to go out, though he had done a hell of a job containing it, and asked three times while he was dressing if Aya was sure he didn't want to simply stay in. It became more difficult to assure him each time. He was caught somewhere between letting Yohji change his mind and being totally distracted by Yohji leisurely selecting and putting on his clothes. In the end, however, Aya insisted they go. Yohji chose a pair of dark brown jeans and an equally dark green sweater that was tight, showing off his lean body, but conservative enough to completely cover his stomach. He was dressed, intentionally Aya was sure, as casually as Aya was, and yet it seemed so much more stylish on Yohji that Aya was unable to stop staring at Yohji as they walked to the restaurant. Finally, Yohji turned, hands in his pockets, easy going but concerned, walking backwards in front of Aya so he could look at Aya as he spoke.

"What's wrong?" He knew there was something, but couldn't put his finger on it and the panicked expression on Aya's face as he came to a dead stop confirmed it. Spooking Aya? Bad idea. "It's okay if you've changed your mind. It's not too late to go back."

And that, Aya was learning, was one of the things that was so incredible about Yohji. He would have done it, turned around and gone home at a word from Aya, with a smile and without any questions or recriminations. Aya was profoundly grateful that going home hadn't even been remotely what he was thinking.

"No." He shook his head, glancing around, licking his lips nervously. "That's not it."

Yohji stopped, concerned.

"Tell me?" He made it a simple, gentle request. If there was something bothering Aya, if there was something Aya needed to tell him, he wanted to make sure Aya knew it was okay to say it.

Aya shifted uneasily, glancing around on the street. There were no people nearby, and he took a chance, blushing furiously, speaking softly.

"It's just...you look good."

Yohji tilted his head, his lips curling slowly into a tender, pleased smile. A compliment like that was the last thing he had expected to come from Aya. He knew Aya was attracted to him, but had thought it might be a more primal, elusive attraction. This was the first indication that it was also a physical attraction, that Aya noticed his appearance in such a way, and as superficial as it might be, the compliment seeped in, warm and tingling, and wrapped itself around Yohji's heart.

He took one step closer, keeping his hands in his pockets, careful of appearances, lowering his voice.

"Thank you, Aya. As do you." He wanted to touch Aya, show him how those words had made him feel. A hug, a kiss, even something as simple as touching his face, cupping his chin. An explanation, a description simply wouldn't do it justice.

He had to concentrate to restrain himself.

Aya didn't think his face could flush hotter, but it did. Yohji seemed so happy. And sounded so sincere. Aya let his hair shield his reaction from anyone who might observe it as he circled around Yohji to continue walking, muttering a quiet thank you that accompanied his own small, shy smile. Yohji hesitated only long enough to soak in those timidly spoken words and rare smile before turning to catch up.

Yohji did keep his promise, treating the entire evening as if they were simply friends eating out together, although they both knew it was something more. He chose a restaurant that allowed them a moderate amount of privacy, and kept the conversation light and easy, no pressure. Amazingly, it was easy to find things to talk about, even for Aya, who was finding out that there were many things he knew about Yohji but hadn't realized he knew, while there were many things he thought he knew that he had no idea about, from the superficial to the personal. He had thought Yohji selfish, but Yohji's patience and consideration belied that at every turn. He had known from his observations of Yohji with the girls in the shop that he was probably a good date, but he didn't know what that really meant, how focused Yohji could be, how intent. He had thought Yohji couldn't control his flirting with others, but damn if he gave the waitress even a half a glance, and that was only when necessary. Despite the friendly nature they were projecting, Yohji's attention was for Aya alone. And when they were done, Yohji claimed the check before it even hit the table, extending a hand as the waitress approached and taking it directly from her.

As it turned out, with the exception of any touching or blatant signs of emotion, it was a date in every sense of the word. Yohji even managed, without any apparent effort, to somehow open every door for Aya.

When all was said and done, it seemed like only moments had passed, and they were standing in the hallway between their rooms again, Aya uncertain of what to do next.

"Is this where we kiss and say good night?" He couldn't help asking. This was a situation in which he was totally without experience.

From anyone else, Yohji would have sworn the question was meant in humor. But from Aya? No, he was perfectly serious. He really was lost on the relationship thing.

"That depends." Yohji tilted his head, leaning with one shoulder against the wall.

"On what?"

"Whether you want me to kiss you, and if you want to say good night." He added a tiny drop of seduction to his voice while keeping his hopefulness to a minimum. Damn, he wanted Aya to stay, and he didn't have words for how much he wanted that kiss. In answer to Aya's perplexed expression, he elaborated on his understated offer.

"And one doesn't necessarily have to lead to the other."

Aya searched his eyes, his face for a long moment before giving that simple nod of his. As if that were a definitive answer. Yohji waited to see if more would come, but Aya was evidently stuck in his state of uncertainty. Whether it was from a lack of direction and experience, from not being able to decide what he wanted, not being sure how to ask for what he wanted, or a combination of sorts, Yohji couldn't be sure. What he was sure of, however, was what he wanted. He wanted Aya to stay, to come in, to spend more time with him, to be as comfortable in Yohji's room as he had been earlier that evening. And he wanted that kiss. Oh, how he wanted that kiss.

But more than that, he wanted Aya to want it. Coming to Yohji as he had, sleeping next to him, even returning to his room and waiting for him were one thing. Actually spending time with Yohji was an entirely different matter.

First step; make Aya feel welcome without being pushy.

He unlocked his door, remaining as he was as the door swung open, the invitation as clear as he could make it without speaking it aloud.

And there was that nod again, as Aya stared into the dim room without moving, held captive in his indecision. Yohji waited, leaning his head against the wall with a gentle, patient smile, crossing one ankle casually over the other, his heel rolling in a silent, easy rhythm.

"So if I don't want to say goodnight?" Aya asked.

"We don't have to."

"And what about that kiss?"

Yohji's foot stilled as his focus sharpened. Had Aya made a decision? Was that an invitation?

He and Aya had never engaged in such intimacy. He couldn't count the few kisses he had placed on Aya's cheek, on the back of his neck. He couldn't count that first insane, furious kiss that had caught Aya completely off guard. Hell, it had caught him off guard, and he was surprised he walked away from it without major damage. He couldn't count the times they had sex; it had been heated and primal, but not intimate.

No, this was something different, and Yohji wondered if Aya knew what he was asking for. Pushing himself away from the wall, Yohji approached slowly, noting that Aya still wasn't looking at him. Was that a good sign? Or bad? When he reached a hand to caress along the sharp definition of Aya's cheek, Aya leaned into the cradle of his palm, his eyes slipping closed. Okay. Good sign. He turned Aya's face, giving Aya time to feel the length of his body as he stepped closer, giving him time to feel their close proximity, giving him time to panic. He waited for Aya's eyes to open again; he wanted Aya to see him, to fully understand this, to own it. Aya focused on Yohji's mouth, his own lips opening as if he were going to speak, but no words came, and then Aya surprised him when he met his gaze. The determination was clear, as was the fear, the anxiety, the panic Yohji had been searching for, but he kept his face upturned as Yohji closed the distance between them until there was barely a space between them. He hesitated there, feeling the warmth of Aya's lips, and then closed that scant distance in a very controlled and gentle lingering press of lips.

Aya waited for the protest to rise within him, waiting for his reflexes to kick in and draw him away from the contact.

It never came.

In fact, it felt right. As if he had been waiting forever for this moment, for this heat, for this electricity that tingled along the sensitive flesh of his lips, and drew from him the breath that he had been holding in a warm rush.

Yohji felt the breath against his cheek as Aya exhaled, felt Aya's body relax minutely, thrilled that Aya hadn't pulled away, wasn't running, that they remained touching even as the first kiss ended and the second began, then the third, their mouths slowly softening, their lips working against each other, drawing from each other, slowly parting, tongues meeting tentatively, until they both sank into the kiss, each tasting deeply of the other.

Yohji didn't want this to end, didn't want to let go of the moment, but he was dimly aware of Aya's hands clutching at the front of his shirt with what he was afraid might be a bit of desperation. He gentled the kiss, pulling away slowly, resting his forehead against Aya's as they fought to catch their breath, and then finally stepped back, turned, and walked into his room, flicking on a dim light on his way, leaving the door open behind him.

Aya fought to think past the fire still rushing through him, threatening to consume him, fought to weigh his options, fought to balance his fears with the emotions he was now beginning to understand and permitting himself the luxury of. In the end, it was simple. His room, cold, empty, and lonely with a high probability of nightmares keeping him awake and miserable. Or door number two, Yohji's room. He could already feel the warmth emanating into the hallway, was reminded how comfortable he had been there, how well he had slept wrapped in Yohji's arms, how cared for he felt.

He didn't want to be lonely anymore.

Not four heartbeats later, he followed Yohji through the door, closing it behind him.

Down the hallway, from the darkness of the stairwell, there was a soft sigh of relief.

"Do you think they heard us?" Ken asked quietly, still carefully watching Yohji's door from his crouched position.

"I don't think they were aware of anything but each other."

"And Aya thinks we were hot this morning? I guess Yohji was right, Aya's working on it."

"Good thing he took your advice, eh, Ken?" Omi slid his hand under the loose hem of Ken's t-shirt, teasing at the warm flesh that quivered at his touch, drawing Ken's attention back to its previous focus.

"You're room or mine?" He couldn't clearly make out Ken's features in the dark to see his reaction, but he didn't need to as Ken rolled him, pinning him on the stairs.

"I don't know, Omi. What's wrong with right here?"

Indeed.