Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. Although I don't know a fangirl out there that wouldn't love their own personal Daryl.
AN: Wow! So many great reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad so many of you like my story. It's funny how far a story can go based on a 30 second idea while watching a short scene in a long episode...
Chapter 25
They had been on the road for two months now. It was hard getting used to living on the road. There was little food and water, always the need for gas and ammo, and everyone was always on the lookout for walkers. Everyone paranoid about being caught by a large group of walkers when they weren't looking.
That night was one of the many nights that the group was having to sleep in the vehicles. It wasn't very comfortable and with the weather so cold now, it was almost, if not colder, inside the vehicles than it was outside. Everyone took their turns as lookout while others slept. Everyone would swap out either two lookouts a night or if they didn't have to drive keep lookout all night.
Adrian had been lucky to find herself another motorcycle a few weeks ago. They had holed up in a house for a night and while they were all looking around for anything useful, Daryl had found it in the garage. There had been a few full or half full gas cans and a beautiful 2012 red and black kawasaki ninja. She had been so overjoyed for the first time in a little over a month that she had forgotten her anger and bitterness and kissed him hard and quickly in the lips before releasing him and going to inspect her new ride.
Since she had realized that she couldn't keep pulling the two to three nights of no sleep with her own vehicle to drive so she would sleep a little bit more than she had the month before. Until her nightmares became too much for her to handle and then she would releave whoever was on lookout that night early.
As time went on it became more apparent to everyone that Carl and Lori, who was finally starting to show, were her top priorities. Carl was becoming a more important member of the group as was Carol. After having to abandon the farm it seemed that Carol was still very wary of Rick but she had no other option but to make herself useful.
She and Carl were given their own guns and had been improving their aim when the guns were needed. Adrian had to admit that she was proud of Carl. He was growing up fast and adapting to this new, harsh world that they were left in but didn't let it rule him.
Three months on the road was taking it's toll on everyone. They didn't want to leave Georgia, so they had found a state map and would go from town to town gathering what they could. Adrian was becoming a little bit softer but not by much. She would talk to the members a little bit more but she still held onto her anger and bitterness at loosing Kale like a suit of armor.
It was night and very cold. Everyone was around a small fire cooking the two rabbits that Daryl had caught earlier that day, except for Adrian. Adrian was sitting on top of the SUV keeping a lookout for any danger. Even though she was a ways from the fire, she wasn't all that cold.
She had on two tank tops, a thermal long sleeve shirt, and the leather biker jacket that she had picked up in town the day Hershal had run to the bar to drink after the shootout at the barn.
She had been sitting indian style on top of the SUV for a while, so immersed in looking for danger that wasn't there that she hadn't heard Daryl walk up to the vehicle.
"Here." he said in a low voice, holding up a small bowl of rabbit meat. Adrian started somewhat violently and pulled her knife on Daryl. Once she realized who it was she resheathed her knife and looked at the meager dinner. "Give it to Lori or Carl. I'm not hungry." she said to Daryl. And then her stomach growled as the smell of the meat hit her nose. Daryl just raised an eyebrow.
"Uh huh. Anyway Lori is the one who fixed it an' said to make sure you eat it. You ain't eatin' enough and we all know it. It's takin' it's toll on you but you refuse to admit it. You've been starvin' yourself for the past three months now. You can't weigh no more than a hundred pounds soakin' wet. Now eat the dame meat. I went through hell just to catch it." he said shoving the onto the roof of the SUV.
Sighing, Adrian reluctantly did as she was told and started to eat. "Ain't like you to space out like that. Normally you hear and see everything these days." Daryl said as she leaned his back against the vehicle.
"Too focused on looking for danger I guess. Being on the road for so long has made me a little paranoid at nights. Especially since we got caught with our pants down not three weeks ago." she said referring to the night that they had all let their guard down and hadn't realized that a small pack of walkers had snuck up on them until it was too late.
"Ain't too smart. You focus on it too much and you're gonna start makin' yourself see and hear things that aren't there." he said, still not looking at her. "Lori wouldn't have eaten it even if I had refused, huh?" she asked sticking another piece of meat into her mouth.
"Nope. She knows, just like everyone else, that you refuse to eat sometimes just so she and Carl can get a little bit more. But like I said, it's been takin' it's toll on ya.
We've noticed that you've been droppin' weight fast." he said. "We're all dropping weight, Daryl." she whispered, saying his name for the first time in over two months.
Since hitting the road she referred to everyone by their first names when she needed their attention, except for him. He had to admit, just a little bit, that he missed hearing his name come from her lips.
He especially missed when she would moan his name. The only time she had touched him other than the occasional pat on the back or shoulder was when he had found the bike in that garage. He had actually seen that old light come back to her eyes and then she had grabbed his face and gave him a hard, swift kiss.
It may have been a fast kiss but it had been the first real physical contact he had gotten from her since the day that Dale had been attacked. And he also had to admit that he really missed the sex. Any man would, it was only natural, but life on the road didn't offer much privacy or any real time to think about getting laid.
"We may all be dropping weight, but none as fast as you. You keep this up and your body's gonna shut down on ya. The body needs sleep and food or it can't function right. Even Rick knows that." he said back.
She had been quiet for a few minutes and he was about ready to push away from the car and head back when she spoke. "I miss the farm." she whispered quietly. For the first time in the past ten minutes, Daryl looked at her.
Since it had started to get really cold Adrian had been keeping her hair loose and would wear a black cotton beanie to help keep her ears warm. She was bundled up against the cold, had her bow laid across her lap, and was currently chipping at the paint on her nails.
It seemed that even life on the road hadn't stopped her from wanting to keep her nails from looking pretty. Even though they were covered in walker blood more often than not.
"We all miss the farm. It was peaceful there. We had food, water, security. But at least we got to stay there for as long as we did. Most people these days don't get that kinda lucky streak." Daryl said, still looking at her pick her nails.
"I know. We've all changed since than. Most of it not for the better. Me included and I know that." she said still not wanting to look at him. It seemed that even though they were living on the road with almost nothing more than the clothes on their back, she was starting to miss what she and Daryl had had back at the farm.
She did miss not having to worry about food, or water, or being clean, or a walker showing up out of nowhere to eat her throat out, but she missed her nights and stolen moments with Daryl more it seemed.
As the days went by a little more of her anger and bitterness at herself chipped away. Some nights all she had were her thoughts and she would think about the time she had spent with Kale. She knew that whether he was dead or not, that he wouldn't have wanted her to become the person she had become over the past three months.
She had become the person she had been before Kale had come into her life. She had been just a little bit more distant, a bit more cold, more ruthless and reckless after Seth. But after she had saved Kale he had somehow managed to worm his way in past her walls and defenses and made her care.
Kale had been a good kid and she realized early on that she seemed so happy and proud of himself every time she would praise him on something. It made her feel human again to have someone depend on her and look up to her. But this time was different.
First Carl had shown up and weaseled his cute little self into a small piece of her heart. But then again she didn't know if it was because he was such a young, defenseless boy or if it was because he had reminded her so much of how Seth had been before the outbreak.
She still didn't like Lori too much but over the last three months she had learned to keep what little dislike she had for her to herself. Lori was pregnant and being on the road all the time with little food didn't help. Not to mention Rick's distant and cold attitude that was directed mostly at his wife.
But Daryl...Daryl was a different story. It seemed that she had always been drawn to him in some way or another. At first when she had seen him back at the camp outside of Atlanta, he had made her curious. His cold and dismissive attitude towards the group, only showing any kind of like for his junkie brother.
His ability to have no patience with humans, but all the patience in the world when he was alone in the woods. And then she had seen his scars. Once she had been able to sneak up close enough to get a look at them without being caught, she had realized that he had scars just like her. Not nearly as many but enough to show that his childhood hadn't been easy.
Then he had showed up in that field with Shane to find Carl. She could tell, even from so far away, that he had been sizing her up. She hadn't really noticed it before than but he was attractive from that distance. And then after she had given Carl back, he tried to track her back to her camp, which had amused her to a certain point. But after a week of it, it became annoying.
She had been even closer the time that she had killed his rabbit and then warned him to back off and she had noticed that he was even more attractive up. He had a nice build for a man, and she had known because she had seen him without his shirt on, some light dusting of facial hair on his tan face, and short light hair.
Then she and Kale had shown up at the camp to help kill off the small herd of walkers that had unexpectedly attacked, killing a fair number of the camp members. It seemed that the more she tried not to notice how hott he was covered in dirt, sweat, and some walker blood, the more she kept looking at him and thinking it.
And then they had shown up after the CDC had exploded. He had caught her crying that night while she had been looking at the picture of her and Seth. The next day they had hit the road. For the short while after that she hadn't thought much of him until Sophia had gotten lost.
She had noticed how he had stepped up to the plate when his skills were needed to find the little girl. She had shocked even herself at the church that day when she had told him about her father murdering her mother and grandfather just so he could control her the way he wanted without anyone to naysay him. Then they had set up at the farm.
It seemed that once the pace of their life had slowed down for a while she had started thinking about Daryl again. Except it had somehow jumped a few levels since the camp without her even knowing it. They could have only been at the farm for a few days before she would look at him and would start to undress him with her eyes, and then on the few rare occasions that started to become frequent, after she had undressed him, she had basically been eye fucking him.
And then he had gotten hurt while he had been out looking for Sophia. She had been worried about him and she hadn't even really realized it until later. And then they had been grazed by the bullet that Andrea had shot thinking Daryl had been a walker.
She still didn't know what had possessed her to go out into the woods to look for the herbs to make the medicine fore him. She had never done that for anyone else before.
Not even Kale.
She knew that she had lusted after him before he had been hurt, but when she had brought him the medicine tin and applied the medicine to his more severe wounds, she had been hit with a white hot ball of lust that she had never felt before. And it had scared her.
She had remembered staying away from his the day after she had shown him her scars because he had been embarrassed about his. That had also been the day she had cut Kale loose of his toddler's leash, so to speak.
But then the day they had found Sophia had came and she had become somewhat emotionally unstable, but she had still managed to think Daryl in her emotional grief. That night had been the first night that they had had sex. Drunken sex, but great sex nonetheless. And now that she thought about it, she missed it. But life on the road
wasn't exactly known for it's often private moments.
In that time between that first night of sex and the night of the herd attack, Daryl had managed to do something that no other human being other than Seth had been able to do. Invade her almost every waking thought. Granted, about half of it had been because she had been thinking with her sex hungry vagina, but the other half had been every day thoughts.
With that thought in mind, Adrian dropped from the roof of the car and stood in front on Daryl, a very thoughtful expression on her face. He wasn't able to see her expression due to the darkness but he could feel the confused vibe she was throwing off. Whatever it was she had been thinking about had set her wheels to spinning.
"Do you miss our time on the farm?" Adrian whispered, cocking her head to one side. "We all do. Done told ya that." he answered. "No." she said shaking her head. "I mean our time. What we had between us, our nights alone in your tent, far away from everyone else." she asked. Daryl got quiet.
Sure he missed it but he didn't know if this was one of those trick questions that didn't have a right answer. If he said yes, she could take it to mean that he had just enjoyed the sex, which he really had, but then that made it seem like he was just a horny bastard who had greedily took what she offered.
If he said no, then she could take that to mean that he hadn't really enjoyed the sex and was just an asshole. So he answered as honestly as he could,, hoping he didn't get sucker punched for it.
"Yeah. The sex was great, sure, and your company wasn't half bad when you forced it on me. I didn't mind you bein' around because you know when to keep your mouth shut, unless you're spoilin' for a fight." he said looking into her dark covered face.
"I know how I've been since Kale disappeared, alive or dead, he wouldn't have wanted me to become this person again because of him. It was different with Seth because he had been all I had had for the longest time. And then Kale showed up when I needed someone the most to kick me out of it. I guess it was just because I felt like I had failed him, just like I did Seth. I told them both that I would keep them safe and I didn't." she said looking down.
"It's why I don't sleep alot. I've had nightmares alot since the farm. Sometimes they're the same, sometimes not." she admitted wanting to try and get back on a personal level with Daryl. She wasn't sure if she liked it yet or not, but Daryl was the only one who was able to fill the whole that had been left behind since Kale disappeared.
Daryl was quiet for a minute before he spoke, kind of wanting his somewhat friend back."What are they about?" he asked leaning his back against the side of the car. Adrian copied the movement beside him, still looking at the ground.
"Sometimes it's the night that me and Seth tried to get out of Atlanta. Him being bit, and then the hours of him begging and pleading through the pain and the fever for me to end it. He was such a brave boy for his age. Much braver than I was willing to be at the time." she whispered.
"The bad ones are the ones when Kale or Seth show up in my dreams and tell me how I lied to them and failed them and that I couldn't even keep them safe, so how can I possibly keep everyone else safe as well. They tell me that I'm secretly glad that they are gone so I don't have to worry about them anymore. It's true in a sense, I guess. I don't have to worry about Seth suffering anymore. About him not getting enough to eat, or having a safe enough place to sleep for a while. But not in the sense that they meant it." she said before she took a deep breath.
"The worst one though, the one I tend to have the most, is when they show up as walkers. They still accuse me of failing them and they're chasing me. But I can never run fast enough to get away from their accusations and I can't shoot them either. I haven't had a good dream or a sleepless dream since the farm." she said finally looking up at him.
Then she did something that she had never done to him before. She stood in front of him, and firmly pressed the front of her body to his, hugging her arms tightly around his waist, burying her face in his jacket covered chest, as if she was a scared child. Which in a sense she might be after what she had just told him.
"Sleep beside me in the truck tonight please? The only time I have felt safe since this whole thing started is when you're beside me at night." she said in a small voice.
"Please Daryl?" she begged looking up at him. The moon chose that moment to come out from behind some clouds and he could see the scared and vulnerable expression not only on her face, but in her bright green eyes as well.
That feeling of protectiveness hit Daryl in the gut like a train wreck. He liked the feeling. But he didn't like that he liked it. Sighing he wrapped one arm around her too small waist and wrapped the other around her head, pulling it back to his chest. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and sighed deeply again.
"Sure." he said.