Chapter 25: A Move Towards the Interment of Hatchets
The only slight hitch on the way back was when there was a loud
"AHA! Caught you at it you young rogues… sneaking out at night and smuggling unauthorised pets in!"
Argus Filch was gleeful.
"Excuse me, Mr Filch, I don't understand you" Krait looked puzzled. "What do you mean, sneaking out? We've been on an errand for Professor Snape, this is his new watch dog to guard his potions"
"So you say, so you say….Argus Filch will find the truth…I'll come right with you to see Professor Snape."
"As you wish, Mr Filch" said Krait, politely. "Evening, Mrs Norris" she said to Filch's cat. Mrs Norris gave her highly coloured opinion of dogs in her domain; and Sirius growled.
"Quiet, Wolf" said Krait.
"Ar, good name fer a dog like that" said Filch, impressed by her quiet attitude and obvious lack of guilty conscience.
"He's a good dog….a bit feisty but he'll be quite tractable with training I reckon" said Krait, blandly. "Oh, Professor Snape, we have your dog" as Severus came out of his room.
"Excellent" Severus rubbed his hands together. "Take him into my office, he'll want to get used to his new home. Was there anything Argus?"
"No, Professor Snape….very wise you are to discourage them thievin' little pests if you asks me."
"Quite. Though I did not, I believe ask you. Thank you!" it was a dismissal. Filch gave him a look of mild resentment and headed back to his lair.
-/-
Jade and Lydia scrambled to their feet when Harry and Krait came in with Sirius; and Lydia took up a defensive position behind Severus.
"He's nice!" said Jade.
"He's awful big" whispered Lydia.
"Alsatians are only aggressive to people outside their own family" said Severus. "He must learn we are his family…you may pet him a little girls, but he's in a new environment and bound to be nervous, so when you have greeted him and let him scent you, you must hop off to bath and bed."
"He could have a bath with us!" suggested Jade.
"Ah…no, I don't think that's a good idea" said Severus. "Dogs are very uh, exuberant bathers….you'd be muckier coming out than going in."
"All right" Jade acquiesced. She went forward boldly, hand outstretched. Sirius politely sniffed her hand and wagged his tail. She patted his head softly. "I bet you'd tear anybody apart that tried to hurt us" she said "When you learn to love us".
Lydia came out seeing Jade being brave and put out her hand, and also patted Sirius on the head.
"Bath now" said Krait cheerfully "And I'll tell you the story of how Harry's Godfather was fitted up for something he didn't do and escaped to help Harry." She whisked them off.
Sirius changed back into man form.
"Snape" he said.
" Black" said Severus.
"I've been reminded that I never apologised for forgetting how dangerous Moonie was…..so I apologise for that" he said stiffly "And for if I ever went too far in teasing you."
"You always went too far…how can you forget how dangerous a werewolf is?"
Sirius shrugged.
"Familiarity breeds contempt of danger I suppose…he never hurt us, because of being in animal forms of course….I didn't stop to think about that. And nobody likes to admit to being stupid."
"You blithering idiot, you preferred to have me believe you deliberately set out to murder me than that I should think you a fool?" snapped Severus.
"Yes….it has the advantage of being a grander if more wicked gesture. Childish I suppose, in retrospect, but we were only sixteen."
Severus stared at him.
"Harry's older than you were at sixteen at just fourteen years old" he said. "Of course, he's had to grow up….did you, ever? You grinned like an unbroken pup when you spoke of it being childish."
Sirius' face worked.
"He didn't ought to have had to…."
"No. And he might not have done…if Wormtail hadn't grown sick of being James' adjunct to be abused at will. It was a habit by then."
"Hold on…are you trying to suggest James brought it on himself to be murdered?" Sirius was scowling. Harry scrunched himself up in a corner as they stood glaring at each other.
"I'm saying that James didn't exactly help himself by making unnecessary enemies….Harry knows the worst moment of my life and my greatest shame."
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"When James hoisted you in the air?"
"No, you idiot….that was humiliation not shame…the moment I realised that the dark lord meant to go after James and his family and was torn about passing on the information….he doesn't hold me responsible, and that has enabled me to move on, I don't need to chew over it in my own mind any more…I can put the past behind me and I can put the earlier past behind me too and learn to accept that you were an idiotic little boy who had no understanding of anything outside his own rather limited life experience. I don't need to envy you and James any more. I need envy nobody." He spoke in a low intense voice. Sirius stared and opened and shut his mouth once or twice in shock.
"Is it true, Harry? That you don't hold him responsible?" he swung round to the boy.
Harry nodded.
"I guess I understand Professor Snape a lot better…he and I are really a lot alike I guess. I have an advantage of being good at Quidditch; at my primary school when I was no good at games the big hearty ones used to terrify me. I got teased about my scar and my glasses…."
"I was pretty good at Quidditch" said Severus musingly "It kept me out of trouble in my own House…but Potter was better. Like you're better than Draco…and I feel for him over that because he gets as jealous and infuriated over you, especially when you've done something people praise you for, as I used to over James…being second best at something is sometimes worse than not being anywhere because they all tell you to just try a bit harder….of course Draco finds he can be knee deep in cronies because he's rich and I was poor and in any case more interested in my work, and so that similarity ends there; and gave endless amusement to the jolly fellows that liked to hide up library books and pour –accidentally of course!" he added sarcastically "Ink on essays."
Harry looked accusingly at Sirius, who shuffled.
"Swots aren't popular" he muttered.
"My work was all I had" said Severus bitterly "And you even tried to take that from me. I'm going to try to work with you – because we have to – and I'm going to try to forgive; but it's going to be hard to forget, Black."
Sirius nodded.
"I suppose I can understand that…you weren't always blameless."
"I started off retaliating….after a while I figured I might as well get some of my retaliation in first. That's probably childish too. If I went over the top ever, I apologise. I was an angry little boy….it became a habit. I shan't bore you with my home life, but it didn't start me off in a spirit of trust or brotherly love to anyone…..I expected to be hurt and that's what I got. Looking back, if I'd had the good common sense to talk more to Lily Evans when we were younger and more to the point listen to her objections to the gang I ran with to protect myself from being one of their victims it might never have happened; I might even have ended up like Moonie Lupin for whom the rest of you took infinite pains…You and James must have been capable of great compassion where you realised it was needed, you were just…a bit beef witted. I like Moonie. He's a decent man and a good teacher. Idiocy for the parents to make such a fuss about his condition, I'm quite a good enough potioneer to keep it under control when daft dogs don't lead him out on the moors at full moon"
Sirius pulled a face.
"I was desperate to get Wormtail's testimony, prove I hadn't killed him….I am impulsive, Snape, I acknowledge that fault, that it can drag people into trouble….we used to enjoy most of the trouble we got into though once…" he sighed and held out a hand. Slowly, not quite grudgingly, Severus took it and they shook hands warily.
"End of round one, yet gentlemen?" asked Krait from the doorway. "Harry, I trust they stuck to Queensbury rules?"
"Generally speaking" said Harry. "It's an education discovering that grown men have to get over being childish too….makes me feel a lot better about some of my more childish moments."
"I love this boy…he's so devastatingly honest" said Krait.
"He can lie like a trooper if he feels like it" said Severus. "Not well, but inventively….I think we got over most of our more puerile moments. Didn't we, Black?"
"I think so…it's going to be a hard battle, but I'll do anything for Harry"
"Good….he is the key, whether he wants to be or not" said Severus dryly. "A hard task; especially as I accept now that he is not so very like James."
"He's his father's image!" cried Sirius crossly.
"Oh quite….it mislead me into thinking he had his father's disposition too. That he does not is in some ways unfortunate for Harry and in most ways encouraging for the fight ahead."
"What do you mean sir?" Harry asked the question before Sirius could. Severus smiled ruefully at him.
"Your father, as Black says, enjoyed trouble….he took any misadventure like water flowing off a duck's back. He was impetuous and impulsive, bull-headed and enjoyed being the centre of attention whether being praised or told off for whatever exploit he had been involved in….he would have stood in the shoes you occupy with a fatuous grin on his face and some stupid scheme in what he fondly described as his brain to discomfort the dark lord; as he did several times, until the pitcher went too often to the well. He would have thought being the Prophecy was good sport. Am I right, Black?"
"The terms you have used cast him unflatteringly but the description is essentially accurate" said Sirius unwillingly. Severus nodded and went on.
"You, Harry, worry more, which is uncomfortable for you but probably a lot safer….sticking your head into danger before you are ready, before we are all ready, would be foolishness. But you have a character trait that is not helpful."
"What is that?" Harry asked.
"You bottle things up, keep them to yourself….when your scar hurts or anything out of the ordinary happens you MUST tell one of the adults who are here to protect you….I know your home life has made you close in on yourself and become secretive, but please learn to give us your confidence, hmmm?"
"I'll try sir" said Harry.
"Try? There is no try. Do or do not" said Krait in a Yoda voice.
Harry gave a rueful grin.
"I will" he promised.
"Thank God" said Krait fervently "A voice of reason. Try to continue to emulate him, please gentlemen." She shot a loving look at Severus. "It was well done so far."
"You take orders from this chit, Snape?" said Sirius.
"She makes pointed suggestions, not orders" said Severus. "And so far she's been right…it's not a pretty habit to have, but we have to live with it…." He smiled at her.
"I live but to serve, Domine" murmured Krait.
"And I've a bridge in Brooklyn for sale…." Said Harry. She stuck her tongue out at him cheerfully.
"I brought some of that elf made wine you brought back…" said Krait to Severus. "I don't know if it would help or hinder for the two of you to get maudlin together… Harry and I will push off…"
"Can't hurt" said Severus. "At least he has a well enough trained palate to recognise the good stuff not screw up his nose and complain that it's sour…."
Krait shrugged.
"What do you expect for someone who's never touched alcohol before? I like Pumpkin juice much better."
-/-
Sirius eyed Severus over his glass.
"Are you aware of that child's plans for you? Ah, I see that you are" as Severus flushed.
"She pointed out we were quite likely to die and might as well snatch what happiness we could" Severus said defensively. "She…she's like a soulmate…I've never been so happy...she's never had anyone to talk to either…I think she and I understand each other far more than Lily and I did… I'll always love Lily but Krait is…like a second part of me."
"Are you telling me this is purely Platonic?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not telling you anything, because it's none of your business" snapped Severus. "It helps that we understand each other inside out….it helps your godson because we lie better and back up each other's lies and half truths with greater efficiency."
"She really is You-Know-Who's daughter then? And undercover with you? However did you get Dumbledore to agree to that?"
Severus chuckled.
"She told him quite firmly, I should imagine" he said. "He made dubious noises to me, but then he had a conversation with Krait and I never heard any more objections…I expect she told him she was going to do it anyway with or without his help. Strong minded girl, Krait, and remarkably talented."
"You really have got it bad….she'll grow out of you, you know, once she finds boys her own age do grow out of being adolescent."
Severus glared at him.
"If she does….well, I hope the little tyke she picks is worthy" he said, viciously. "but I don't think she will…we'll have come too far together. If we both survive that is. We're well into Fishface's good graces at the moment….he loves having a talented daughter with strong but limited ambitions, who describes exotic revenges on the nuns that reared her….she can do that with half a belief in wanting to do it of course, I'd not mind implementing some of those ideas myself….When five and six year old children wake several times in the night wetting themselves from nightmares in case they've dreamed being here….and Krait sometimes comes down from the dormitory to fix herself cocoa in my office so I think she has nightmares…."
"They're not your real daughters then? Are they her sisters? What happened in this orphanage?"
Severus shook his head.
"They are related to her, but by coincidence…let me tell you about that orphanage." He gripped his wine glass so hard the stem broke and blood spurted from his fingers where it cut; he did not notice as he stared fixedly ahead of him. He outlined Krait's early life to Sirius.
"I'm glad you're angry, Severus" said Sirius, softly, dangerously. "So am I…it makes your feelings towards her clearer, I understand why you feel so protective. But was she so….insolent there? They must surely have punished that?"
"Oh they did…it was her way of rebellion to refuse to be broken…as Harry has refused to be broken by his relatives…..she has a remarkable resistance to the cruciatus curse."
"You've never cast that at her!"
Severus looked down his nose.
"Of course I have. How else was I to prepare her for when her father used it on her? and he did. I'd not do her any favours to let her loose unprepared. I don't think Dumbledore does Harry any favours keeping him in the dark…I use sophistry to feed him information through Krait. I'm becoming quite fond of the boy."
"Well finally!"
"I have my prejudices – Sirius – as we all do. This is why we're getting drunk together, isn't it? To break down the barriers and prejudices between us. When either one of us can send an urgent suggestion and the other one hits the ground running we should have started to get somewhere. I think that was Krait's general idea."
"Managing brat that she seems to be."
"Yes. But very practical." Severus smiled dreamily. "How many girls do YOU know who'd work out the timing of a mind link spell to make sure you weren't going to suffer period pains?"
"Funnily enough, I've not met many girls socially in Azkaban, though my dear sweet cousin Bellatrix is in there I suppose…and since I left I've been a little busy to pursue a social life. All right, I see what you mean…she seems to have a strongly practical streak – as well as a very hard head – and I'll listen to what she says as seriously as I listen to Harry."
"Even as I have started listening to Harry" said Severus. "Merlin's beard, I'm all over blood!"
"Have you only just noticed? Here, I'll help remove the glass shards….."