A/N: This is a short update, but I think it sets the stage for the rest of the story in a way.
I would also like to say, WE LOVE YOU NINA! Hopefully she brings back Katherine once in a while as she is walking down the street or standing in line for coffee : )
"So what do you think?" Stefan asked, standing beside his brother as they both looked at the inside of the beach house Stefan had just purchased. It had taken a few weeks, but Stefan had finally been given the key to his new home. He could not wait to get started on it.
Damon's opinion on Stefan's decision to buy that house meant more to Stefan than he cared to admit. But Damon was his best friend and his only support at the moment.
"It needs a lot of work" Damon answered. Then he turned to Stefan. "But I like it" he said, smiling at his brother.
Stefan let out a breath he had been holding. "I like it too" Stefan agreed.
Damon grabbed Stefan's shoulder and pulled him closer. "I think this will be good for you" Damon told him. If anyone knew about building or fixing houses to take your mind off of a girl, it was Damon. "And I'm here to help. Whatever you need, Stefan. I mean it" he reassured him.
"Thanks Damon" Stefan replied. He knew he would definitely take Damon up on his offer to help. Stefan could do the easy stuff. He would leave the more complicated things for his brother. "Any suggestions on where to start?" he asked.
Damon nodded, surveying the room again. "I'd start by tearing this old carpet up and seeing what you have underneath" Damon suggested.
"Okay" Stefan said. That was easy enough. Or so he thought.
"Do you have time for lunch first?" Damon asked.
Stefan reluctantly shook his head no. "I have my appointment with Dr. Erickson today" he answered. Stefan looked at his watch. "I actually need to get going soon." He really was not looking forward to this particular appointment because he was going to have to talk about what happened with Elena and then what also happened on the beach after. He was afraid to tell Dr. Erickson about the alcohol for fear of disappointing him. Hell, he had disappointed himself. But Stefan made a promise to himself that he would make his weekly appointments.
"Yeah, okay" Damon said. He was extremely proud of his brother for continuing the therapy. Damon had faith in his little brother, because he knew Stefan had a good heart. He was trying. "You owe me lunch, though" Damon said, messing up Stefan's hair before Stefan had time to shove his brother away. He made his brother laugh though, and no matter how old Stefan got, Damon would still make sure he knew he was younger.
"I'm going to owe you a lot more than lunch by the time we get this place finished" Stefan smiled.
"Very true" Damon laughed. "I'll see you later" he said, letting himself out of Stefan's new house.
Stefan heard the front door shut, signaling that his brother was gone. Stefan stood alone in his house and looked around. Every square foot of space was calling out to him, telling him everything he had to do. "Holy shit" he said, crossing his arms and blowing out a breath. He might have been in over his head.
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"How was your week?" Dr. Erickson asked as he and Stefan took their seats. He had his usual warm smile and his pen and notepad.
Stefan took a big breath. "To be honest, it wasn't great" Stefan admitted. Well, not everything about it was great.
"Let's talk about what wasn't so great" Dr. Erickson said, crossing his legs at his ankles and giving Stefan his full attention.
Stefan sighed. He hated the thought of being judged. "Elena and I sort of had a fight" he said.
"I see" Dr. Erickson said. "Tell me about your feelings during and after this fight you had" he told Stefan.
Stefan paused, caught off guard by the request. Stefan was fully prepared to describe the fight, not his feelings about it. "Well" Stefan said, thinking it over.
"Take your time" Dr. Erickson encouraged. Discussing feelings was quite the challenge for Stefan, which is why Dr. Erickson was having him practice. "You can start by saying, "I feel" or "I felt" if that helps" he added.
Stefan nodded. "Okay" he said. "I felt like I upset her" he stated.
Dr. Erickson clasped his hands together. "You're describing how Elena was feeling. Let's try again and this time, tell me a feeling you were feeling" Dr. Erickson instructed.
Stefan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't much care for talking about how he was feeling, because it hurt. "I … I feel empty" Stefan said quietly.
"Empty" Dr. Erickson repeated. "What does that look like for you?" he asked.
Stefan looked down at his hands, not particularly liking where this discussion was going. "Hell" Stefan answered. "It looks like hell."
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Elena had a day off. The first one in months. But instead of relaxing, she had spent the morning cleaning and running errands.
The last stop on her list was Damon's house. She had stopped by his work and they told her Damon was at home and would not be in until later. Elena envied Damon for his ability to pick and choose his own work schedule.
"Hello?" Elena asked, opening the front door and poking her head inside. The house was quiet, as usual.
Damon came walking around the corner, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. He was smiling, like usual. "Hey" Damon said, waving her in. "Don't you have the day off?" he asked.
Elena smiled as she let herself in. "Yeah" she said, nodding. "I umm … I'm looking for Stefan, actually" she replied. She didn't know why she was so nervous to tell Damon that.
"Oh" Damon said, trying to hide his interest. "He's uh, he's not here. He bought a beach house about an hour up the coast."
"He bought a new house?" she asked curiously.
Damon chuckled. "Well it isn't new" he told her. "It … needs a lot of work. But I think it will be good for him to have a project like that to keep him busy" he explained.
Elena nodded. "Good for him" Elena said. "I guess I'll catch him next time he's here" she told Damon. "I should get going." She was disappointed she would not get to talk to him after she had finally worked up the courage to do so. As she started to walk away, Damon stopped her.
"Elena" he said, causing her to turn around. "You can take my car" he said, grabbing his car keys and tossing them to her. Elena caught them, barely. "His address is on the table by the door" he added with a small smile before going back to what he had been doing. He was not entirely sure she would drive out to Stefan's new house, but he hoped she would.
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Elena stood beside Damon's car as she stared at Stefan's house. Damon had been right. The place needed a lot of work.
And yet, Elena thought it was amazing. The sea breeze was blowing in from behind the house and she wanted so badly to go down to the beach and kick her sandals off so she could feel the sand between her toes. It had been a while.
Elena blew out an anxious breath before she walked towards the front door. The stone walkway she followed was cracked but added character to the house. She knocked on the front door and waited.
He never answered. Elena tried her luck and twisted the door handle. It opened, and she soon realized why he did not come and open the door. He had his music turned up. She followed the sound and it led her up the stairs.
There she found him, on his hands and knees tearing up old carpet from the floor. His back was to her, so she took a few minutes to just watch him. He was so focused, so dedicated to his task. It was a different side of him that she was seeing.
Elena figured it was time to let Stefan know she was there. She would not have wanted to be watched like that. When the song on the CD player ended, Elena knocked on the doorway to announce her arrival.
"Hey Damon, come on in" Stefan said, assuming it was his brother. He didn't bother turning around as he was focused on pulling up another piece of carpet. When he did not get a response, he finally turned around to find her standing in his doorway. The sight of her nearly knocked him over. "Elena" he said, looking at her with surprise.
Elena gave him a weak smile. "Your brother told me you would be here. I hope you don't mind my dropping by unannounced" she said quietly.
Stefan shook his head no, still processing the fact that she was really there. "No, of course not" he said softly. He stood quickly and tried to brush himself off. He was a mess though. "Sorry, it's a real mess in here right now" he said, apologizing for what looked like the aftermath of a tornado.
"You're remodeling" Elena reminded him.
"Yeah, yeah I am" Stefan agreed. "I feel like I've been tearing up carpet for days" he admitted. Elena leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms. "Who puts carpet in a beach house anyway?" he asked lightly.
Elena smiled. "I know, right?" she asked, enjoying the easiness of their conversation. "Do you think you could take a break? So we can talk?" she asked.
Stefan nodded. "Sure" he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. Stefan held his arm out to invite her to step out of the room and to find a better place to talk. Elena followed Stefan back downstairs and out the back door. "Watch your step" he cautioned as they went down the stairs that led to the beach. They walked for a little ways before stopping. "I hope this is okay" he said, taking a seat in the sand. He didn't exactly have furniture to sit on yet inside.
"Yeah" Elena said, sitting down next to him in the sand. Not too close, but not too far away either. They both looked out at the water in silence for a few moments. "Stefan, I am so sorry for the way I treated you when you came over the other day" she began. "My head was somewhere else, and I took it out on you" she explained.
He was quiet for a moment as he listened to her. "I deserved it" he told her. "I had no right to come into your home and try and pressure you to take the money."
"No" Elena said, shaking her head. "You didn't deserve it" she told him. Elena looked down at her hands nervously. "I was just so scared when you left that …" she began to say, stopping herself from admitting what she feared.
He knew though. "That I would go drink" he finished for her. Her fear was not too far off. He had stopped at the liquor store to buy alcohol with every intention of drinking it alone on the beach. He didn't, because he knew that if he gave in that one time, he would always give in. "I didn't" he said, putting her worries at ease.
Elena sighed. "I am so thankful to know that" she said sadly. "Stefan" she said, turning to face him. He did the same, looking at her. It nearly took Elena's breath away, seeing him looking into her eyes the same way he used to when they were together. "I don't want to cause you pain, Stefan." Pain would only encourage him to drink.
After all the pain he had caused her, she was worried about hurting him. He could not believe how lucky he was to have found someone like Elena.
"I just know that I don't want us to be awkward around each other, or feel like one of us has to leave if the other shows up" Elena continued.
"I don't want that either" Stefan interjected. "I know we're not married anymore, but … I miss you" he said quietly, still looking into her eyes. He was not sure it was a good time to tell her that, but it was the honest truth. Boldly, he reached out his hand and grabbed hers.
Elena was first to look away, uncomfortable with him holding her hand. She closed her eyes. She missed him too. But she decided not to acknowledge his admission. "I have something for you" she said, opening her eyes, taking her hand back from his and digging into the pocket of her shorts. "These are yours" she said, placing her wedding rings in his hand.
The moment Stefan realized what they were, he shook his head. "I gave these to you" he told her, on the verge of tears all of a sudden. The rings only served to remind him of what he once had, what he lost. "I can't take these back." It would devastate him to have her wedding rings in his possession. He would never be able to sell them, or give them to someone else.
"I divorced you" Elena reminded gently. "I chose not to be with you anymore." Therefore, the rings needed to be returned.
Stefan placed the rings back in her hand and closed her fingers around them. "I made that choice pretty easy for you" Stefan replied quietly.
Elena felt the first tear of the afternoon fall down her face. "Damon told me you think I hate you" she said, looking up at him sadly. She waited for Stefan to look at her again too. "I don't" she assured him.
Stefan reached his hand up and wiped away at the lingering tear on her face. "You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that" he said in practically a whisper.
Elena nodded, knowing it would be something she would want to know too.
Stefan looked out at the water again, finding that it was calming. It always had been. "You would have been happier here" he said. "In a small house on the water, where you could go down to the beach whenever you wanted" Stefan added. She never wanted that big house in the suburbs.
"I was happy" Elena told him. He had meant the world to her at one point. "You're a good person – the best – when you're sober" she said, silently cursing herself for the next few tears. "That's why I'm here" she said, wiping at her eyes. "I don't want to punish you" she finished. That was what she had been doing. If she was ever going to move forward with her life, she had to stop resenting him.
There was so much he wanted to say to her, but he could not find the words. "I'm really glad you stopped by" he told her.
Elena smiled a little. "Me too, Stefan" she replied. She stood then, ready to head back to Damon's, and then home. "Congratulations on the house. I'm sure it will turn out amazing." With that, she walked back towards the house, leaving him sitting.
Stefan wondered why her words sounded like she would not be coming around anymore. The thought was depressing, but he reminded himself to appreciate the fact that she had showed up at all.
A/N: Hugs for Stefan.