A/N: Thank you for your reviews, truly appreciate every one of them, and those who wrote them! :-)
This story has been about Emma's discovery of her mother's story which led to her mother's letters, which in turn led to her much needed guidance and teaching. Her mother's disguise had led her to see George's world, and what a true gentleman the love of her life was. And now, in the last three chapters of the story, I'm devoting them to the discoveries that are important to their marriage – nothing earth shattering or shocking, but it is discovery that will help their love grow, I hope. :) Marriage is a life-long journey, it's true that they know each other all their lives, but, I'd think, they still have much to learn about each other or even themselves. Thank you for bearing with me! :)
A Lady and a 'Gentleman'
Chapter Twenty Five: The Aftermath
Though the morning came and the sparrows sang, the couple did not recover from their argument of the night before - Emma, in her lingered-anger at George, laid awake in bed for most of the night, could not fall asleep until the sun arose. And George did not fair any better - his usual clear-mindedness was lost in the gutter when he let his ungrounded fear took over his senses, the image of their argument reappeared continuously in his mind almost the entire night, any hope to reclaim his rational intellect in the morning seemed exceedingly dim.
They rose, they washed, they dressed without speaking to each other – perhaps it was more that Emma who resolved not to speak. George knew he was in the wrong, partly at least – he knew he overreacted, he knew unkind words had came out of his mouth in the midst of his renegade emotion, he knew he had wounded his beloved Emma's tender feelings when he so dismissively disregarded her charity towards Lydia and negated her judgment. Sigh! - But what was a man to do when it was so blatantly clear that his wife wanted nothing to do with him – not only she would not speak to him, she moved away when he came within a mere yard of her, she took pain to avoid meeting his eyes, she would not even look at him when he slammed his finger shutting the writing-desk drawer and scolded at the wooden fixture!
And breakfast did not go well either. They felt relieved that Mr. Dickenson was leaving the dinning-room as they entered in, or they would have been obliged to dine with the old gentleman and it would have been obvious to their friend that this happy couple was not on happy terms. Or did their troubled souls really escape the eyes of the acutely observant Mr. Dickenson? They did not know!
They sat at the table silently; George drank his coffee, barely ate his muffin, while Emma left her toast untouched, and kept stirring her coffee with her teaspoon mindlessly until, at last, George broke the silence.
"Emma… would you like to continue with your farming lesson today? We could study farm horses!" He regretted the way he spoke to her last night, and made every effort to sound gentle and sincere without sounding too affected.
She paused her stirring, looked up at him - He was elated, finally able to see her eyes!
"No." She said quietly, then immediately looked back down and stirred her coffee with her teaspoon again.
So that was end of breakfast and also the end of their conversation that morning before George took leave for the last day of the Kingston Fair. Needless to say there was no fussing from Emma over him before he left, she remained in their chamber instead of walking him out of the inn – feeling like he had been exiled from his happily married cocoon – he sighed at the realization of this Master of Donwell Abbey, a commanding figure and a magistrate, who had traveled all over England and visited the Continent, could speak of a vast array of subjects from farming, religions, politics to philosophy and astronomy, commanded a league of servants, laborers, tenants alike, had the respect of everyone he knew and many whom he did not even know - was casted out of his wit by his precious young wife!
As for Emma, how many times she longed to reach out her hands and let him take her in his arms, how much she wanted to let him looked into her eyes to see the hurt that he put there, and let him tell her that he did not mean any of those unkind words that he spoke to her last night! But - to allow all that – and so soon! - that would be stripping away the little dignity that she salvaged for herself when she decided to run into the dressing-room and slammed the door in his face! Impossible – she must not allow this – not yet!
Besides, she needed more time to think – the George from last night was not the same George that she knew all her life. Yes, they had had many debates in the past, often times on neutral subjects for the pure joy of presenting opposing views – for their intellects enjoyed a 'mind wrestle' (so they called it) from time to time. And, they did have an unfriendly argument over Harriet's refusal of Robert Martin's first marriage proposal – but that was of different nature, her foolish meddling of Harriet deserved his admonishment. Then, there was the disagreement over Frank Churchill's merits before the young man's arrival at Highbury – but that was different as well, for it was jealousy over a perceived rivalry that caused the liberal-minded Mr. Knightley to become prejudice. However, this time, Emma pondered, there was no foolish meddling – meddling perhaps from her rescuing Lydia, but if it was not honorable, it certainly not foolish; and there was no one standing between her devoted love and George, it must not be jealousy on his part – then why did he act so unreasonable, and so uncharacteristic of himself? Why would he not listen to her reasons, and dismiss all her observations and render her incompetent of sound judgments? How could he order her to stop following her senses… how could he treat her like a tyrant over his slave?
Hard as she tried, there were no answers to her questions - it seemed no use wrecking her brain conjuring up reasons for the unreasonable! She took a deep breath - decided that it was time to put away these troubled thoughts, because it was time to spend the last day at Kingston with Adam and Anna.
But troubled thoughts were difficult to put away, and troubled spirit followed one everywhere one went! It was indeed comforting to spend time with the two lovely children, but by far, it was not a cure. Emma gathered up the little strength she had from a non-existing night of sleep, to smile, to speak, to sing, and to play with Adam and Anna. She was thankful that they did not notice her unusually withdrawn countenance, as the children were still at a very young age. But after a while, she was in wanting of a small rest, she asked Betty to play spin tops with the children so that she could rest on the nearby bench while watching them silently.
She was staring at the two children emptily and thinking of George's irrational reaction when a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Good morning again, Mrs. Knightley!" The voice was kind.
She looked up from her seat and saw the warm smile, "Oh! Mr. Dickenson… good morning!"
"My apology for running off in a hurry at the dining-room this morning, I had to meet up with another landowner from my town this morning, otherwise I would have joined you and Mr. Knightley at breakfast."
"I'm glad you didn't join us... I mean… I'm glad that you made it to your meeting… that was!"
"May I?" Mr. Dickenson gestured the seat next to Emma on the bench.
"Yes please, Mr. Dickenson." She said graciously and shifted to the side to make room for the old gentleman. Mr. Dickenson sat down next to her on the bench. They were both silent for a moment, watching Adam and Anna along with Betty played spinning tops on the ground.
"You really like these two children, don't you, Mrs. Knightley?" Mr. Dickenson broke the silence in a warm and sincere voice.
Emma looked at the old gentleman and smiled.
"You will make a wonderful mother someday!"
She smiled again – thinking she would love to be a mother someday – but today this subject was quite far from her mind.
"Mrs. Knightley - tomorrow we will part and take our journeys home, I want to tell you that it has been my honor to know you - especially witnessing how brave and kind you were with Lydia and these two children!"
Emma turned to look sincerely in the eyes of the old gentleman, "Mr. Dickenson, you are very kind! It has been my greatest pleasure to come to know you. You are not only the dear friend of my late father-in-law, and my husband, you have been a wonderful friend to me - the honor is truly on my side!"
They smiled cordially at each other, a short pause before Mr. Dickenson broke the silence again.
"Mrs. Knightley, have you ever noticed how much you and Mr. Knightley are alike?"
"I and Mr. Knightley?" Emma was surprised by the question.
Mr. Dickenson nodded smilingly.
"Oh no, how could I?" She found it amusing to think she and George were alike, "George… I mean Mr. Knightley is the Master of Donwell Abbey, everyone respects him, he's well-traveled, well-learnt, he's commanding…that is he's confident, he's steady, mature, thoughtful and honorable, he's the kindest and most generous man I know - and he's also the most sensible man I know, his judgment is…" For a while, Emma had forgotten their argument the night before and recounted all of her George's merits effortlessly, until the word judgment came out of her mouth and she stopped abruptly.
Mr. Dickenson waited for a little while, "And whereas… you are… "
Emma smiled, "Whereas… I'm loved by everyone, of course, my father, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my brother John, Mrs. and Mr. Weston, Harriet, Miss Bates and Mrs. Bates… practically everyone in Highbury… except for Mr. and Mrs. Elton… but that's an entirely different story!"
"Is that all - that you're loved by almost everyone?"
"Well… my father thinks that I'm the cleverest person who ever walked on this earth!" She laughed, "And I believe most people do find me clever and lively, even Mr. Knightley agrees with that!"
"And I could not agree more!" Mr. Dickenson smiled warmly.
She raised her eyebrow and her hands on her waist, wearing a saucy smile on her face, "But Mr. Knightley used to tell me that I was a spoiled child, and he was right in his own rights, my father and my governess did indulge me, and they still do, but that is because they love me so very much!"
"Humph! A spoiled child - is that how you think of yourself?"
"Hum… being called a spoiled child never bothered me too much, just a little! Mr. Knightley said it only because he wanted to improve me," she giggled happily, "but he could say all he wanted, and it did not have the slightest effect on me! Think about it - someone loves you enough to spoil you, isn't it a wonderful blessing in a strange kind of way?" Emma's giggles were contagious, Mr. Dickenson laughed heartily with her.
Once their laughter subsided, her eyes still bright and shinning, Emma added, "And of course, I am fanciful too, just like my mother! My gentleman disguise was the perfect proof of me being a fanciful person! Don't you think, Mr. Dickenson?"
Mr. Dickenson nodded and laughed again, always amazed by this extremely charming young wife of his dear friend!
"And I think that should suffice to say that I and Mr. Knightley are nothing alike!" She said it with a spirited conviction.
"Ah! But just because there is no obvious connection between yours and Mr. Knightley's personalities does not mean that you are not alike?"
Emma was intrigued. Her expression beckoned the old gentleman to elaborate.
"You said Mr. Knightley was generous – remember how you came to Lydia's rescues without a second thought? And also how you scared away the two despicable men at the cheese booth? If that is not generous and courageous, I do not know what is!
"And you said Mr. Knightley was kind – what about the way you have been treating these two children?" He glanced at Adam and Anna, "Was that not incredibly kind of you to take their mother's place for a few days to make them feel loved and special?"
Emma blushed and looked down, not sure if she really deserved the compliment.
"You also said Mr. Knightley was mature and honorable – the way you confessed your disguise so honestly and fully to me the other night, was it not a sign of maturity and honor on your side?" The old gentleman saw Emma blushed again. "You need not be humble, Mrs. Knightley – you are far more than the spoiled, fanciful person than you think; and I dare say, you have been this way for much longer than you realize!"
Humble was never a word that anyone had used to describe Emma Woodhouse! In fact, Emma Woodhouse would have been basking in her own glowing had anyone called her generous, kind and honorable! So why would she be blushing upon praises on acts that she had indeed committed? She was not sure! Perhaps it was because no one had ever so plainly pointed out to her her good qualities in the past; perhaps she had often only seek praises on things that she did intentionally but paid no attention on those that she acted upon so naturally; perhaps it was the boredom that she grew up with which led her to commit senseless blunders, exaggerated her shortcomings and overshadowed the sensible acts that she often did but no one noticed; or perhaps, simply because she had indeed grown and matured in characters that made praises felt unnecessary or even undeserved!
Mr. Dickenson smiled sincerely, "I have said it already, but I will never grow tired of saying this Mrs. Knightley – I think you and Mr. Knightley are a match made in heaven – no wonder he would not give his heart to anyone for all those years – you two were truly meant for each other!"
Mr. Dickenson could praise her for her merits of being kind, generous, matured and honorable – but being the perfect mate for George was the best compliment Emma could ever ask for. She blushed beautifully and demurely - only if their argument from the night before never happened, she would have been floating in the air! She felt the urge of speaking with this kind and wise man of her troubles, though she would not speak directly to him about her argument with George, after all, it was a private matter of their marriage and she knew their love for each other would have this resolved in time. Nonetheless, Mr. Dickenson might lend her wisdoms that she needed to open her eyes to see through what she could not on her own. She gathered up her courage to begin her quest.
A/N: Thank you for reading! :)