With a wave of Parian's hand, there was a loud flutter of cloth, and I was wearing a toga made from what appeared to have once been a shower curtain with rubber duckies on it.
Boss, what are you doing? We need to kill Lung, Loiosh. Do you really think you're ready to do that right now? Of course. You realize I can tell you're lying, right? I'll come up with a plan before we catch up with Foil and Imp. So, who are you going to kill with Lady Teldra so she can feed? Assuming that she can feed at all if you kill someone with her when she has no sharp edges. You're thinking too much.
Loiosh hissed at me, as if I could miss that he was highly annoyed. No, Boss, you aren't thinking enough.
Tattletale coughed. "I'm sorry to interrupt your argument, but I agree with Loiosh. You aren't in any condition to fight."
I stared at her, insulted. "I don't think-"
"No. You aren't thinking. You DO remember what my power is, right?"
My hand on Lady Teldra twitched as I tried to flex it, but the bones were still fused.
Tattletale's eyes looked me over, and she continued speaking. "You two would have either killed each other on sight, or become inseparable."
"What? Who?" I asked, before realizing who she had probably been referring to.
"Taylor. But I see you figured that out already."
"This conversation isn't killing Lung, and if we don't do it now-"
Tattletale slashed her right hand in front of her at an angle, from chest to waist level. "We aren't killing Lung today. You don't understand. If you haven't seen him when he's been fighting for a long time, nothing will prepare you for what he can do." She stared hard at me. "You do not understand what it means to stand toe-to-toe with an Endbringer and survive, never mind drive one off."
Parian looked from Tattletale to me, and nodded. "I've been watching through the armor I created for her. Foil can't kill him. He's healing almost instantly. Before the blade even finishes passing through him, it's already healed behind the wound. Cutting his head in half doesn't work either. She tried. Even brain shots aren't slowing him down. All Imp can do is rescue people that get in the way."
"Still-"
"Zorro. You can barely stand. Your magic sword is out of power. You lost all your witchcraft supplies. You have no inherent cape power. If you try to join the fight, you will die." Tattletale's eyes narrowed. "Unless you have hidden some other power, ability, or magical device from us?"
I stared at Tattletale, not wanting to admit she was right. Then I realized something.
Loiosh-
Instantly, my thought was interrupted. No. I have't even- No. Loiosh. I know you don't know what I'm thinking yet, because I haven't felt you poking around in my head. Listen to me. I'm absolutely certain I am going to be violently opposed to any plan you have right now that you want to pursue. Sometimes, you run away and fight another day. You know this. We've done it before. We need to do it now. Loiosh. The Trellanstone that Imp found on my forehead. What? This whole damn thing has been insane since Verra threw us here, Loiosh. Still, you're thinking that the words on the orb actually mean what they say? Verra knows I don't trust her. Explain why that means you trust her now. She had to have been the one that planted the Trellanstone on you. It was there for months. We think. Maybe she's here now. Maybe she put it on me ten seconds before Imp found it. Whatever. That's doesn't mean anything, or answer any questions. Look, right before she threw me here, Verra made it clear that the gods rarely speak clearly. Then she told me to be myself.
I could feel Loiosh turning it over in his mind. You think that Verra intentionally told you that she couldn't be trusted to give clear instructions, knowing that you wouldn't trust that statement, so that when she did give you clear instructions on the Trellanstone, you would follow them because you would, somehow, perversely, trust her because you distrusted her? Pretty much. Yes.
Tattletale, who had been watching Loiosh and I, made painful noises and turned her eyes away from us.
That is utterly insane, Boss. We're dealing with Verra, Loiosh. The insanity is a given. She's a god. You think you've managed to get into the head of a god? I hope not. I think she set this up. She knows how I think.
My familiar hesitated slightly and ordered his thoughts before firing back a response. Now it gets deeper. If I understand this right, you believe that Verra knows she can trust you not to trust her, so she gives you clear instructions on a hidden rock, knowing that you would trust the instructions because you distrusted what she originally told you about being able to trust her to be clear in her dealings with you. Exactly. But she also said, and I quote, "Reasons, Vlad. You can't understand." Clearly a lie. Verra can't be trusted.
I could feel Loiosh growing more upset, and cut off the angry response he was preparing.
Loiosh, she told me to be myself. And the stone showed up after you saved Imp. You were being yourself, saving a friend. But what's the stone for, Loiosh? Even the gods don't waste raw Trellanstone, and this was worked Trellanstone. The stone has to be important, and is probably the reason for her sending me.
That stopped Loiosh's thoughts, briefly, then he responded, slowly. Point. A good point. If there was ever a reason for a god to speak clearly, it would be to properly describe how to use a prepared piece of Trellanstone.
I knuckled my forehead. Loiosh, if we don't stop thinking about this now, it might actually begin to start making actual sense, and I'm not sure I want to be in the same headspace as Verra, for any reason. And none of that matters, because you can't make Lung bleed right now. Foil and Imp can break away, then we kill him later, when he's not doing his Godzilla impression. The stone didn't say we had to make him bleed, Loiosh.
Loiosh was poking around my mind, examining my idea as I turned to Tattletale, who was still rubbing her temples and staring at me angrily. "Now, I have a plan."