Disclaimer: So, has anyone ever wondered about that supposed Inheritance Book? You know, the one that's SUPPOSED to be the end of the series? Yeah . . . me too.
Chapter 25: Fighting For What?
"Tamara . . . wake up," a voice hissed out of the darkness.
"Go away," Tamara mumbled, burying her face in her pillow.
"What's going on?" a voice asked.
"I can't get her to wake up," the first voice said.
"She's a heavy sleeper," the second voice explained.
"How do you wake her up?" the first voice asked.
Tamara felt a stinging slap. "Bloody hell!" she yelled, sitting bolt upright.
"That's how," Brittany explained.
"I'll have you know I have a very sensitive face," Tamara grumbled. Spotting Murtagh, Tamara asked, "what are you doing in here?"
"Galbatorix's soldiers are coming. They'll be here soon," Murtagh explained.
Tamara swung her legs out of bed. She stood and straightened her skirt. She put on her sword, bow and knife she never gave back to Eragon from the trip to Dras-Leona.
"I'm ready," she said. Brittany left the tent.
"That was fast," Murtagh said.
"I'm even faster at getting undressed," Tamara replied coyly before darting out of the tent. Outside, all was quiet. The Varden and the soldiers of Surda were prepared.
"We should meet them," Eragon muttered.
"Are you volunteering?" Tamara asked.
"Yes. I'm volunteering you!" he pushed her out of the camp.
"ERAGON! . . whatever your last name is! I'll get you for this!" Tamara yelled.
"What are they saying?" Brom asked suddenly.
"Nothing," Tamara said from her position on the ground. "They're singing!"
"Get back here!" Murtagh demanded.
"Monkey in the middle!" Tamara cried, pulling Eragon out as she rushed in.
"You guys are so immature," Rosalia said, rolling her eyes. Everyone raised their eyebrows. "Right, I'll stop talking now."
"Thanks," Brom muttered.
"I wonder what they're singing," Brittany mused.
"Perhaps they feel pretty," Rosalia said.
"I'll stop talking," Consuelo mocked.
"Come along Watson. Let's go places," Tamara said, linking her arms with Brittany.
"You stole that from The Thin Man," Brittany muttered.
"I borrowed it," Tamara replied.
"You're marrying her?" Murtagh replied as the bantering girls skipped off.
"I know you want to marry Tamara," Brom teased.
"I'm afraid to ask her," Murtagh agreed. "She'll get mad at me."
"I'll ask her for you," Brom said.
"I can ask her myself." Brom stared. "Eventually," Murtagh mumbled.
"Pathetic," Brom muttered.
"I never did have luck with girls," Murtagh sighed.
Meanwhile, Tamara and Brittany were flying high in the sky in order to eavesdrop on the soldiers.
"I can hear them," Brittany muttered.
"You're joking, right?" Tamara demanded as the song reached her ears.
'Where there's a whip, there's a way. Where there's a whip, there's a way. We don't wanna go to war today, but the lord of the lash says nay, nay, nay!' They sang.
"I've heard enough," Brittany moaned. Their dragons landed in the middle of the soldiers.
"'ello!" Tamara said, taking up her Cockney accent. "You prob'ly don' remember me. Act'lly I'm quite sure you don' know me at all. Turribly sorry 'bout your friends. I felt bad. We meant to poison you!" This evoked fury from the soldiers, who attacked.
"Why did you do that, you idiot?!" Nalia demanded.
"'ey! Don' -" Tamara cleared her throat, "don't yell at me!"
"A little help would be nice!" Brittany yelled. Tamara saw that Brittany was fighting three soldiers at once.
"Say hello to my little friend!" Tamara said, leaping off Nalia and raising her sword. She swiftly decapitated a solider and locked swords with another soldier. She saw fear in his eyes. "Do not be afraid," she said. "All I want is your life!" She stabbed him with the hunting knife.
"I do hope our 'lovely' friends come and help us out soon," Brittany grunted as she fought back-to-back with Tamara. The words were barely out of her mouth when their little friends came galloping forward. "Finally!" Brittany sighed. "Let's stand here and talk about life and Tamara's want for one."
"Perfectly opportune moment," Consuelo said cheerfully.
"It is, isn't it?" Brittany asked.
The soldiers were confused by the oddities of the girls. They stood stock-still, gaping open-mouthed. Finally, one of the soldiers remembered that these girls were supposed to die. "Um, rah," he said.
"Oh, right, fight," Tamara said cheerfully, raising her sword.
"That so rhymed," Brittany said.
"Hi-yah!" Linnea yelled, Jackie Chan style, as she leaped through the air.
"The British are coming, the British are coming!" Rosalia cried.
"That's a bad thing," Brittany said.
"Oh. I meant that Murtagh, Brom, Eragon, Nasuada, Orrin, Orik, Angela, Solembum, Saphira-" Rosalia continued.
"We get it!" Everyone, including the soldiers on the opposing side yelled.
"This fight is getting out of hand," Maria muttered to Tamara.
"It is," Tamara agreed.
"I mean out of hand, as in, crazy. Strange," Maria confirmed.
"I know that's what you meant," Tamara laughed before removing the head of a soldier. She spun and locked swords with an Ugal. "I forgot you were our 'guards'," she said.
"Sorry I'm late," the Urgal muttered.
"Sorry I'm late," Murtagh said, grabbing Tamara's arm and kissing her on the mouth.
"We don't have time for this," Tamara said cheerfully. "I'll tell you what we'll do: meet mer after the battle, we can have our own private little rendezvous-OW!" she yelled as a soldier's sword accidentally sliced her back.
"Are you okay?" Murtagh yelled as Tamara fell to her knees.
"Oh my back!" Tamara groaned, unaware of her pun.
"Hold on," Murtagh said. "Waise Heill." The skin on her back reattached. "Are you okay?" Murtagh asked quietly.
"My savior!" Tamara said dramatically, giving Murtagh a kiss.
"Why are you on the ground?" Brittany demanded as she fought, passing with Brom.
"Just relaxing," Tamara said, although Brittany had already left.
"I have to talk to you," Murtagh said as he helped her to her feet.
"Can't it wait? I feel like we're losing this battle," Tamara said.
"We are. Some help would be nice," Angela said as she danced past, furiously fighting with her interesting sword.
"You heard the woman," Tamara said, darting off to meet a soldier.
"Why is she always on the go?" Murtagh muttered to himself before darting off into the center of the battle. Tamara pulled her sword out of the gut of a soldier and whirled it to meet two more.
Brittany swiftly decapitated a soldier, grimacing as his head bounced. Brom passed her, his sword flashing wildly as he stabbed and swung at his enemies. "How are you holding up, darling?" he called.
"Just peachy," Brittany muttered angrily to herself.
Murtagh ran to Thorn, who was perched on a wall, breathing fire to his enemies. 'What is it young one?' he asked.
'Why do the dragons do that? We're all older!' Murtagh thought to himself indignantly. To Thorn, he said, 'I'm exhausted. I shall join you and do a little bow work.'
Thorn flew down so that Murtagh could get to the wall. He fired arrow after arrow from the wall, always making his mark. Eventually, Thorn stated that he was going to fly down in order to be of more help. When Thorn landed, Murtagh jumped too, but the jump was farther than he had anticipated. "Ow!" he said.
Thorn gave a very dragonish laugh. 'Why did you do that, you idiot? Remember, I fly, you don't!'
"Of course," Murtagh muttered to himself. "He flies I don't. He flies, I don't. He flies, I don't." He ranted as he limped towards the battlefield.
Having conveniently dropped his sword, Brom retreated to his instincts and punched the soldier facing him in the nose. The soldier dropped his sword, and Brom picked it up. "Ah ha!" he cried as he stabbed the soldier in the heart.
"That is not your sword," Rosalia laughed, coming up behind Brom. "Where's yours?"
"I lost it," Brom sighed regretfully.
"You lost it?" Rosalia asked, unable to contain herself.
"Do you want something?" Brom asked bitterly.
"No, no," Rosalia smiled before dashing back to the fight, laughing.
Brom was grumbling to himself. He looked down and miraculously, spotted his sword lying in the dirt. He picked it up. He knew in his heart that Rosalia had spotted it. "Two swords are better than one, I suppose," he muttered.
Angela was fighting with her two-sided sword. She cackled, very much like a witch. She twirled her sword and locked it with a soldier's sword.
"You treacherous little toad!" the soldier cried.
"Treacherous little frog," Angela corrected, before slicing the soldier in half.
'This would be a lot easier if we had the twins with us,' Saphira told Eragon.
'I don't think so,' Eragon replied. 'Oromis thinks that they were traitors. Tamara thinks they were insane.'
Saphira didn't answer, and Eragon continued searching for magicians to kill.
Orik was fighting valiantly by his king, Hrothgar. The Dwarven Clan had arrived to help very recently. Orik wielded his ax with magnificent skill.
Arya twirled her long sword. "I may be a woman, but I can kill," she said randomly to herself.
Nasuada was fighting alongside King Orrin.
"Nasuada, look!" Orrin cried, pointing to the Jiet River.
"What?" Nasuada asked.
"A ship!" Orrin cried.
Nasuada swore. "I'll have Eragon check it out. If it's a friend, we must help them get to shore. If it's a foe, we must sink the ship," Nasuada left in search of Eragon.
Tamara was fighting alongside Brittany, Edoc, Nalia and Aquala. Saphira suddenly landed in their midst.
"What's wrong?" Aquala asked.
"There's a ship coming. Nasuada just asked me to check it out. Be prepared to help me sink it," Eragon then swiftly flew off towards the river.
"I hope it's a friend. We could use help," Brittany panted, wiping her sweaty forehead.
It wasn't long before Eragon returned on Saphira. To Tamara, he said, "tell Nasuada that the ship poses no threat," Tamara nodded and flew off on Nalia.
"Who was it, Eragon?" Brittany asked.
"Roran, Jeod and all of Carvahall. Roran's my-"
"Cousin, I know," Britany said.
"How could you possibly know?" Eragon demanded.
"Tamara told you a long time ago. We're elves. We know about everyone," Brittany sighed.
Very soon, Tamara returned. "Er, why does our shipmatey have a hammer?" she asked.
Brittany opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. "That's a damn good question," she remarked.
"Is that Jeod?" Brom asked, approaching.
"Where did you get two swords?" Brittany asked.
"He flies, I don't. He flies, I don't," Murtagh was muttering as he approached.
"Whatever is the matter?" Tamara asked.
"I . . .fell," Murtagh mumbled.
Tamara glanced at Thorn. "Really?" she asked.
'He needs to remember. I fly, he doesn't,' Thorn replied. Tamara laughed.
Angela stomped up with Arya and Aquila. "What's wrong?" Aquila asked her twin.
It was Angela who answered. "Some soldier had the audacity to call me a toad. We all know toads don't exist."
"Yes, we've been made to realize that fact," Arya grumbled.
Suddenly, the sound of screams filled the battlefield. "What's going on?"Consuelo asked.
"Magicians!" Bella exclaimed.
"Not just any magicians. It's the twins!" Eragon cried.
"Bwahahaha!" Both twins cackled.
"Good heavens, I was right. They are crazy," Tamara said. Murtagh raised his eyebrows.
"What is your cousin doing?" Brittany asked Eragon.
"What?" Eragon asked, then realized that Roran was approaching the Twins, hammer raised.
"Dear, dear," Aquila muttered.
"He'll get himself killed!" Eragon exclaimed.
"I think not, boy," Brom growled.
As Roran crushed in the skulls of the Twins, the girls looked away and the manly men watched. Eragon watched as well.
The Varden didn't have much time to celebrate, however, as Hrothgar was cut down by many soldiers.
"Is someone important going to die in every battle?" Brittany demanded.
Orik let out a yell of despair.
"Hey . . . whatever your name is!" Tamara called to one of the ship travelers.
He turned. "Jeod," he said.
"Yeah, we need help," Tamara gestured towards the soldiers who had killed Hrothgar.
"Jeod!" Brom cried joyfully.
"Brom!" Jeod answered joyfully.
"I hate high school reunions," Brittany grumbled.
"Help!" Tamara interrupted, pushing Jeod.
Eragon ran to Roran as Jeod left. Very soon, he returned with his cousin.
"Good job murdering those murderers," Rosalia said to Roran.
"Yeah . . . " Roean said, raising his eyebrows.
"Don't mind her. She's certifiably insane," Linnea said.
"We need your girls' help," Eragon said to Tamara and Brittany.
"Why our help?" Brittany asked.
"His fiancee, Katrina has been kidnapped."
"Get someone else," Tamara sighed.
"You two are the only ones capable," Eragon pleaded.
Roran raised his hammer. "Help me, or die," he growled.
"How sweet. Willing to kill for love," Brittany mocked.
"Please," Eragon said quietly.
"Very well. We'll help," Tamara sighed against her better judgment.
Galbatorix was angry. Twice, these Dragon Riders had defeated him in battle. Never again.
'They must be good,' he told his black dragon, Shruikan.
'I have an idea,' Shruikan replied.
'Let me hear it,' Galbatorix said, interested.
'They're deadly against us. But what if they were with is?" Shruikan asked.
"The Varden will cower," Galbatorix said aloud. "Bring the Captain!" he shouted to his guard.
Tamara turned to face the window. She was wearing a white slip and no shoes. For the first time since leaving Ellesmera, she felt at peace with the world. She was glad to be returning soon with Brittany, Brom, Murtagh, and Eragon. Rosalia, Consuelo, Maria, Aquilo, Aquala, and Linnea would remain in Surda. Orik was also remaining.
The stars were out and all was peaceful.
Suddenly, she felt a hand covering her mouth. She tried to scream but couldn't. Her last thought before passing out was, 'so much for peaceful'.
Tamara awoke in a dungeon, and saw that Brittany was there too.
"Hey," Brittany whispered.
"I'm all dirty," Tamara moaned.
A man entered and gave a very evil cackle. "So, I'm sure you know my name, but I'm afraid I don't know yours."
Tamara raised her head. "William," she smirked.