Chapter 25: Feeling bad

Note: As always a great thank you to Forest Angel for her help as beta!

Also thanks a lot for all of you who took the time to review. I'm really glad you're still liking the story! As a little thank you, so this one's a bit early ;)

Disclaimer: CSI:NY and the associated characters are property of CBS, A. Zuiker and other people whom I have no connection to. This is fan fiction and not for profit…

xxxxx

What happened so far…

Mac is forced to take medical leave but when he's finally home he can't really rest either. So he decides to go for a run where he meets Carter who invites him for a cup of coffee. Meanwhile Stella is confronted with two similar but strange car accidents during the shift. When she's doused in water due to a mistake from a fireman, Brendon offers her to bring her home to change. That's when Mac sees them arrive together.

And now the story continues…

Mac couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Stella run inside the apartment building, her… lover… still waiting outside in the car. He was rooted to the spot, unable to move or do anything but stare after her. A slight tremor ran through his body but it barely registered in his conscious mind. Something inside him screamed that he shouldn't care about this, that there was nothing about it besides her changing clothes because she obviously got drenched somehow. But another part of his brain kept reminding him that Stella could either do that at the lab or at least choose Flack or somebody else from the lab as her driver. Why the hell was Walsh there instead?

He could feel the anger burning brighter inside him. Stella hadn't found the time to get him from the hospital in time but she could very well drive around with this… guy instead of doing her job! She was acting supervisor for god's sake! Her shift hadn't ended yet and Mac was quite sure that she knew it wasn't actually allowed to just 'get off' the job for a few minutes. There were enough T-shirts and jumpsuits at the lab if they ran out of changes of clothes.

Okay, so maybe there wasn't anything to do right now and maybe, if he had been on duty today, he would have sent her home but still… this wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be here and she sure as hell wasn't supposed to be here with this damn fireman!

Suddenly the entrance to her building opened again and Stella came back out in a haste. Instinctively Mac took a step back so that he would blend in better with the shadows outside of the street lights radius. His hands clenched inside his pockets while he watched her get into the car and smile at Walsh. So they were really back together… Why was she going for that guy again? She could do so much better! There had to be a million guys out there who wouldn't dump her just like that, who would appreciate her and… and just generally be a better 'boyfriend' or whatever you wanted to call it at her age. Hell, Mac was sure that he himself would make for a better boyfriend – although 'boy' would probably the wrong term for his age anyway.

He stared at the backlights of the car when it left in the direction of the lab. "Damn it!" he cursed silently before he turned around and walked off towards his own apartment.

Could this day get any worse?

xxxxx

Stella had been wary of taking Brendon up on his offer but once Don was on his way back to the precinct she didn't really have much of a choice there, so she had finally given in and followed Brendon over to one of the FDNY cars. Her eyes had grown a bit wider when she realized that Brendon wasn't walking towards one of the trucks but towards the only regular car.

"You sure we can just take the car?" she had asked concerned. As much as she would have liked to get out of her wet clothes, she hadn't wanted to get Brendon into any kind of trouble.

But the man had only laughed slightly and shook his head. "Don't worry. Got the car for today and your apartment's practically on the way."

"The lab isn't…"

"Stella! Just get into the car and stop worrying." Brendon had winked at her and she hadn't been able to hold her own smile back.

They had been on their way quickly. Brendon had seemed to be comfortable in his chief's car; as if he had belonged there. Carefully Stella had glanced over to him and for the first time that night she realized that Brendon wasn't wearing his usual T-shirt but rather the white official uniform shirt of the FDNY. That was when she realized why Brendon didn't have a problem with taking the Chief's car.

"You're Calaveras' substitute?"

Brendon had looked at her briefly before turning his eyes back on the street. "Yeah. That so surprising?"

Shrugging Stella had looked out of the passenger side window. To be honest, she hadn't really thought about Brendon's career. Thinking about it, she hadn't even done so when they were still dating. The thought had been kind of sad, so she had pushed it away rather quickly.

"Just… unexpected, I guess," she had finally answered.

"Well… I didn't plan to stay on the bottom of the food chain forever," Brendon had murmured. "Thought such a nice position would work good with the ladies as well, ya know!"

He had laughed as if to play down the joke but there was something in his voice that made Stella wonder. Brendon wasn't the type of guy to make jokes about this. While they were still dating, he was quite serious about their relationship. That had been one of the reasons why she had, at first, given in to his rather lame attempts at flirting with her. With Brendon she had had the feeling that the whole relationship thing could actually work out for her for a change. Ironic that in the end it was Brendon who called it off.

"That was a joke," he spoke up again, when Stella didn't answer.

She smiled at him before she replied: "I know. Did it work?"

Brendon shrugged. "I've got offers…"

"How many?"

"Enough."

Stella had laughed and shook her head. "It's not working, is it?"

"Nah, not really."

They both had fallen back to silence. Stella hadn't been sure if Brendon expected a response to that. It had been strange to have him driving her once again after the previous day. Before the last night they hadn't seen each other in months and frankly, she hadn't really missed him during that time. Brendon was a nice guy, no doubt there, but once they had broken up there hadn't been much left between them – a softball game here and there; maybe a drink after working on a case together.

Thankfully they arrived in front of her building before the silence could actually get awkward. Quickly Stella got out of the car. She turned around one more time though to smile at Brendon and assure him that she wouldn't take long. And true to her word she was back within ten minutes. Her wet clothes were by then lying in the bathtub and she had grabbed the first things she could get her hands on – ending up in an old and actually bit tight top and slightly faded dark blue jeans; not really her usual work clothing. Stella didn't really care though because all she wanted was to get back to the lab. By then she felt already slightly guilty for taking the time to go home when she was supposed to be on duty still.

If she had seen the slumped figure in the shadows of the other side of the road, she would probably have felt even guiltier. But she didn't see him and instead smiled at Brendon once more, urging him to get her back to the lab so she could get back to work as she was supposed to. Brendon grinned back at her but didn't say anything.

xxxxx

Meanwhile Don had arrived back at the precinct and was just sitting down at his desk. Glancing around the bullpen he noticed that only a few other detectives were currently present; certainly nobody he would like to have a talk right now. Since Angell's death he wasn't very… sociable around his colleagues. The reason for that was mostly that he still felt guilty for what he had done; for the way he had given in to his feelings instead of following the rules. He could still remember that feeling of relief and the way all that anger had left him within seconds. The rush had been better than anything he had ever felt before.

At least for all of those three seconds it had lasted.

But as great as that high had been, the following crash of reality had been incredibly hard. Maybe he wouldn't have found a way out from the bottom of that pit if those two mugs hadn't beaten him down in the subway. The beating had been painful, the following reprimand by Mac maybe even more so. If it hadn't been for that wakeup call, maybe he would still be drinking himself stupid every second day or so.

He took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. This wasn't the time to dwell on the past and it certainly wasn't the right topic to dwell on anyway. He had work to do, a case to… well not crack but at least to fill out paperwork about. Whatever Stella thought about those burnt up cars, he wasn't yet buying that there was anything fishy about it. You see cars exploding on TV every day. So why not have one of them go up in flames here as well for a change? Okay, so it was two and not one and maybe he should be more suspicious about it but he'd much rather work on the Bryant Park case; the one they had pulled out from under his feet. Since "traffic" wasn't really his kind of work, considering he was with homicide, he'd still have this case closed rather sooner than later.

Before he could think about any more plausible explanation for the two cars to go up in flames than the usual "they missed the red light", a call interrupted his thoughts. Frowning he stared at his cell phone for a second before he checked the caller ID.

"What's it?" he grumbled into the tiny mike while shuffling through the pile of paperwork that had magically grown on his desk during the last four weeks.

"Don?" the careful voice on the other side answered.

Flack rolled his eyes and shook his head even if the man on the other end of the line couldn't see it. Who else was supposed to answer his cell? "Whatcha want Ross?"

"Uhm… I was trying to reach Stella but herm, uh, cell went straight to voicemail. She with you?"

Dang! Right when Don had send her off with Walsh to change her cloth, somebody had to call and ask for her! Ross probably wouldn't start gossiping about it… Okay, so maybe he would but he wouldn't be just blabbering around, not knowing what kind of trouble he could get Stella into for taking the scenic route back to the lab.

"What do you want, Adam?"

"It… it's about these blown up cars. I processed th-the cars, ya know."

Bit annoyed about the cheery voice of the young man Don sighed silently. Bad enough that Stella was thinking there was more behind this stupid accident but now even Adam sounded as if this was some kind of great new case. It was a damn traffic accident! Definitely far from the kind of cases that had made him join homicide six years ago.

"Did you find the reason why they blew up?" Don asked, barely keeping the boredom out of his voice.

"N-no… No, not… directly…"

"And indirectly?"

Adam laughed lightly but it did nothing to hide the insecurity that seemed to accompany the young man whenever he talked to somebody with a Y chromosome in his genetic makeup. "That's a good one! Well I-it's just… I've recovered the VIN numbers for both vehicles!"

"Great!" Don huffed but decided to go with it for the time being. At least now he could inform the family. "I'll run them and see if I can come up with a name. Send them over."

"Uhm… I-it was quite interesting you know? The metal was pretty charred and all but I…"

"Adam!" Surprised the voice on the other end faltered midsentence. "Why don't you try getting the numbers from the other two cars as well?"

"What other cars?"

Don grinned and shook his head. "The two that are about to come to you any second now."

With that Flack hung up on Adam before the lab tech could start another rambling about how fascinating whatever he was doing really was. Usually it was kind of funny to listen to the young man, especially when he tried very hard not to sound too overly enthusiastic while explaining something he had found out to his boss. Mac would just stare at Adam, seemingly listening to every word he said until Adam finally realized that most of the time Mac was just waiting for him to get finished so they could get back to work.

But maybe he could get lucky this time thanks to Adam's findings. The VIN numbers might lead him to the owners of the cars. If nothing else, he would be able to notify the family and find out who drove each car. Witness accounts were already showing which of the two vehicles had ignored the red light and slammed into the second one, so there wasn't much question about who was responsible for the crash. Unfortunately this one wouldn't be able to answer for what he had done anymore.

xxxxx

Ten minutes of slow going traffic and Stella was getting more and more nervous. Maybe it was stupid in a way because work was slow going with only low priority cases anyway. But then, Mac had always said that even low priority cases were just as important as the high profile ones; and he was right about that. They weren't doing their job for the glory or the thrill of a big case; they were doing it because they were the ones to bring justice for the dead – at least they were helping with it.

"This was a bad idea," she murmured before she knew it.

"What? Going home and getting some dry clothes?"

Stella shook her head and turned back to the passenger side window. "We have dry clothes in the lab."

She heard Brendon sigh and turned around, frowning. "Oh, come on, Stella. It's just some clothes. Half an hour of time. What's the problem?"

"Mac wouldn't have…"

"Yeah, yeah. Taylor again." His annoyed voice brought up another frown on Stella's forehead but before she could say something, Brendon already continued. "It's just some clothing. I'm sure if he had been in your place, he'd have liked to change as well – into something decent on top."

"But he wouldn't have," she barely whispered.

Brendon either didn't hear her or he didn't find it necessary to reply because they both fell back into silence. This time it was even more awkward and uncomfortable than before though. Stella knew what she had done wasn't a big deal and normally Brendon would be right but she still felt guilty for putting her own needs above the job – as unimportant as it seemed at the moment. Somehow she couldn't shake the feeling these fifteen minutes would come back to bite her in the ass.

Thankfully, they arrived at the precinct shortly after so she couldn't think about it for much longer. Her thank you and goodbye to Brendon was rather clipped and she didn't really give him any more chances to say anything in return. At that moment she just wanted to get back to work and forget about anything else because Brendon was at least right about one thing: Mac would never have to know about this.

She had been on the edge since the moment lieutenant Sythe had called her the night before. And while she knew her guilt about the little trip home was totally over the top, she couldn't shake it. Mac had been in a foul mood all day and even if he needn't to know about this, she couldn't stop feeling guilty about it. Mac didn't need another disappointment so soon after been taken off the case.

She quickly entered the precinct, hoping that the case she was allowed to work on, as boring as it seemed, would bring some distraction from these thoughts. The business inside seemed to be as slow going as her own caseload. Most of the detectives were either finishing up their reports or just standing around, talking to each other – a strange sight. Usually the bullpen was busy with activity, criminals getting booked or witnesses interviewed right there when no other room was available. Homicide was always busy.

Not today though.

Don was hacking away on the keyboard of his computer, not looking very happy but instead thoroughly bored. Stella smiled slightly and went over to him. At least it seemed as if they were still working the case. And if the developing frown on the young man's forehead was any indication, it was getting more complicated than the detective had hoped for.

"What's going on?" Stella pulled a chair over to Don's desk and sat down beside him, getting a full view of the computer monitor in the process. "VIN numbers?"

"Yeah," Don answered distracted. "Adam got two VIN numbers for our first car combustion. One of them came back to a Donald Sores but I can't find any registration for the other one."

"Which one's Sores' car?"

"The sedan."

Don clicked several times and a DMV photo came up on the screen. Donald Sores was a very normal looking guy in his fifties. Mandatory to wear glasses while driving, no outstanding parking tickets, nothing that would raise any red flags about this guy.

"Does he have priors?" Stella asked wondering if maybe she had been wrong about the case after all.

A few more clicks and Don could only shrug in defeat. "Nothin' at all." He tried to smile at Stella but could see that she wasn't happy about their findings. "Maybe it was a freak accident after all."

"I don't know…," she answered, leaning back into her chair but keeping her eyes on the screen. "Something's strange about the whole thing. Once I might get, stranger accidents have happened in this city."

"It's the second one that doesn't sit well with you, right?"

"You have to admit, it's a kinda strange coincidence, Don."

But the detective only shook his head. "Then give me something I can work with. Suspicion doesn't work well in a report."

Stella nodded, fully understanding what Don was hinting at; and she should have known so earlier. If the evidence doesn't support the theory, your theory might still be wrong. Maybe they would find something in the second wreck, although she didn't really hope for anything there. Still, she decided to check on Adam anyway. As gifted as the kiddo was in the labs, he didn't have that much field experience and processing these cars on his own might still turn out a bit too much responsibility.

"I'll go check on what they found at the lab so far."

"Yeah. While you're at it, could you check if somebody found an interesting case as well?" Don grinned at her and she couldn't stop grinning back. So she nodded and got up to leave. She patted Don's shoulder lightly as if to cheer him up but since she couldn't think of any comforting words, she simply left it at that.

Don watched her leave for a moment. Something seemed off about her but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Probably just a lack of sleep like all of them and having to escort Mac back home on Sinclair's order made things even worse on her. She looked exhausted and nervous, even more so now than before that little involuntary shower at their last scene. Maybe he shouldn't have sent her off with Walsh. If Don didn't know Walsh was a decent guy, he'd suspect something had happened in the time it had taken those two t get here.

xxxxx

When Stella walked into the garage the lab used for processing cars, the first thing she noticed was that the second set of wrecks had now arrived. This wasn't the only new arrival though. It seemed as if her case was getting more and more popular. Adam was already processing the second pile of charred metal and plastic. But when she came closer, she could see another blonde set of hair on the other side of the vehicle remains.

"Lindsay… Whatcha doing here?" she asked surprised to see the young woman helping out Adam.

"What?" The young woman replied playfully. "Adam get's to play with all this on his own while I have to fill out paperwork for the Bronx lab?"

Stella nodded, smiling at the young woman and her – while understandable – rather unusual explanation. "You know you're only delaying the inevitable, right?"

"Ah-ah," Lindsay replied, wiggling a finger at Stella. "Not if a certain husband of mine knows what's good for him."

"Ya blackmailing Danny into doing your paperwork?" Adams surprised question interrupted. "Isn't that… kinda…, uh, unfair?" Both Stella and Lindsay just stared at the young man. "I… I'll just… just… ya know…"

"Get back to work?" Stella's stern voice was definitely belying the amusement she was actually feeling at the flushed face of her young colleague. "Did you get the VIN numbers on the other two already?" Adam ducked behind the vehicle, suddenly getting very busy with the dashboard.

Looking once more towards Lindsay, Stella shook her head when another grin made it on her lips. "And you see that you find something substantial or I'll have Danny add his outstanding paperwork to your pile."

She turned around and was on her way out, when Lindsay called after her, asking where she was going. "The morgue," Stella replied without looking back. "Drivers should be there by now."

True to her words she got off the elevator on the basement level once again this night. The hallway was still cluttered with bodies. Looking around, Stella couldn't have told if at least one of them had made it to the autopsy table by now. Sid must really be stuck in there to keep those bodies out here. She shivered slightly only now realizing that somebody had thought of turning the AV down to accommodate for the impromptu storage room.

"Hey, Stella?" she was greeted Sid who was just coming out of the autopsy room. "You here about the final results from the Bryant Park autopsy?

"You're finished?" she asked excited. Of course, Stella knew that she wasn't supposed to work that case but now that Sid was offering up some information…

"Yes, I already faxed them over to MCS and the Bronx lab." Of course Sid would know about the case being transferred to the other lab. "You want to know what I found? Off the record, of course."

Stella smiled back at him and gestured towards the autopsy room. "Why don't we get to your 'office' and check on my burn victims as well, while we're at it?"

"Ah! The crispy BBQ remains. Interesting as well!"

xxxxx

Don was bored as hell when he decided to check on the CSIs to see if there was anything new about this 'suspicious' traffic accident. Even if he was just humoring Stella by accepting that there might be more to it than a freak coincidence and two guys ignoring a red light, it sure as hell beat paperwork. So he'd rather go with Stella's suspicion about the accidents than doing is DD5s or – even worse – have Sythe find another, even more boring case for him to deal with.

"At least the company's better here," he murmured when he exited the elevator on the 35th floor.

The first thing he noticed was the empty office right across from the elevator. It wasn't so much surprise to see nobody in there. For one thing, it wasn't the first time he'd seen it empty. Adding to that the fact he knew Mac was at home, he shouldn't have expected anything else than an empty chair. Still it felt strange and somehow wrong. Taylor was supposed to be there, working 'his' case, not sitting at home and do… nothing. At least that was what Don suspected he was doing.

"Hey, Flack. Whatcha doing up here?"

"Messer… Just checking on the progress of my case."

Danny grinned and patted Don on the back when he guided him over to the office he shared with Stella and Lindsay. "Well, Stella's not here right now but why don'tcha take a seat in my cozy little office over there and we can talk 'bout it."

It took Don less than two seconds to decide that a little friendly banter with his friend would be more entertaining than listening to even more science babble about combustion temperatures. They were on a slow case rate anyway. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Lead the way Messer. Lead the way…"

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As always, please let me know your thoughts about this chapter and/or the story so far! Thanks a lot.