How was Ren's morning?
Pretty good.
He just woke up, tried to ignore the fact that Nora was sniffing his pillow, walked through the defeated bodies of team RWBY and sat down to eat.
Before he knew, Nora sat by his side and hugged his arm, but he payed no mind. She did a pretty good job.
"Sup'?" Asked Cardin.
"Hey Car- what happened to you?!"
Cardin sat in fron of Ren. Both of his arms were with bandages and slings. The ex-bully bit a bread on the table and ate it without his hands befora anwering:
"I slept with two smoking hot chicks".
"..." Ren looked at the broken arms, then back to Cardin's face. "By your state, I suppose you didn't engage in any sexual activity and realized the danger you were in".
"Nuh-huh! I TRIED to do it, but was out of condoms. It seems Yang and a cat faunus robbed all the stash of Velvet and the resort!"
"WHAT?!" Nora shouted. "They did what?!"
Cardin started to bite an apple on the table.
"So, we just slept. Then, they hugged my arms and started to fight over me... which resulted in both of my arms getting dislodged, relodged then broken".
"Oh..." muttered Ren. "I feel your pain..."
"Pain?!" Cardin laughed. "I got two chicks to fight over me, sleep with me (although we didn't do it) and felt their breasts as they broke my arms! It was way worth it, man!"
"I... see..." Ren thought: 'he is a lost cause too', but said: "where are them now?"
"I left them sleeping. I couldn't sleep right since they kept hugging my broken arms, so I wanted to lie down in the hotsprings".
"Let's do it".
5 minutes later...
Location: Hotsprings
"Cleaning Ren's back~ I'm cleaning Ren's back and team RWBY gets nothing~"
Nora kept singing and Cardin (strangely) started humming to the song.
Ren sighed.
"Well... at least we are okay. Good to see that you somehow dealt with your harem problems, Cardin".
"And you?" He pointed at Nora.
"Well... I'm on to it. I'm thinking in a way to deal with them. Nora isn't problem, actually, I quite like her company".
"Oh, Ren! Me too!"
Nora hugged him from behind. Ren used every-self control possible to not pass out due to her breasts. The last time he passed out, he woke up in a train.
"Damn..." muttered Cardin. "But well, she kinda stripped every girl naked last time. Why don't you do it again?"
"Cause now they lack self-control and shame!" Shouted Nora upon releasing Ren and starting to clean his back again. "It's a big problem if I do that again. Sheesh... I only don't kill all the sluts in the planet because I don't want Ren's children to commit incest, but I'm starting to think a few of them won't matter".
Cardin backed away a bit.
"I see..."
"Don't worry, Cardin. You are safe" she said. "You are Ren's and Jaune's frenemy and Velvet's target. Besides, the more girls you keep to yourself, the less girls come after my darling".
"Uh... okay..." He then whispered: "Man, am I glad I became a hero..."
Ren nodded.
"So, since everything is going all and well, can you help me?"
Cardin nodded.
"Sure. What do you want?"
"Well, the girls are after me because of their fetishes, that they can't keep under control and somehow found in me a way to deal with it. It isn't, as Nora said, true love. It's just lust".
"Wow, man... that's psychological".
"So, I was thinking, it's like I'm a mean for them to vent their sexual frustration. So, if I find a better target for them, they will follow that unlucky soul and stop following me".
"I get it!" Said Cardin.
"As expected of my Ren!" Nora hugged him again.
This time, Ren felt Nora licking the nape of his neck. 'Man, yanderes are risky to control'.
"So" Ren continued. "I was thinking: if I make someone addicted to masochism, a sadist girl will stop going after me and start going after him".
"I see..."
"So, Cardin, do you know any H-Doujins or something like that? In which a tsundere starts hurting a boy for pure pleasure?"
Cardin thought about it for a while.
"Hmm... I think Russel or Dove recommended one for me once? I dunno... but I think they said the tsundere is flat-chested. Does that still works?"
"Damn right it works!"
"Okay, once we are over here I'll send it to your scroll".
'Perfect' thought Ren. 'Which means Weiss will be the first to fall... next, I will deal with...'
"By the way, do you know any with ninja nekomimis that like humiliating others? Dominatrix style, treats people like slaves, anything like that?"
"W-Well... I... hum... heard about it, but never passed by my hand. Actually, it passed by my hand, but only for me to pass to other people, since I never read this type of stuff, but..."
'Why is he acting like a drug dealer?' He started calculating fast. 'Okay, then Blake and Weiss are dealt with. Next is...'
"What about crossdressing furries?"
Cardin blushed.
"About that..."
20 minutes later...
After exiting the springs, the trio walked around the resort.
"So..." Cardin started to speak. "What will you guys do today?"
"I will try to invade a cave or shrine" answered Ren.
"There is a dungeon here?!"
Ren sighed.
"Look, I had to deal with this your way. I got kidnapped and, instead of taking it seriously, you guys made a game out of this the last time!"
"There were points, sidequests and all the stuff, man! It was clearly a game!"
"And now I realize your sense of reality is out of place" Ren sighed again. "Look, Cardin, I don'thave much time".
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you see a pattern here?! I walk around, I get kidnapped, I wake up in a strange place. That normally happens 2-3X and then something absurd will happen. I'm telling you, it won't take long for some random girl to appear, knock you unconscious, kidnap me, and then we will have all that crazy stuff happening again".
"So..."
"So you are helping me out, because you are a hero and stuff now. And reality isn't a game. Do you know what I'm saying?"
Cardin thought abou it for a while.
"It's that thing of just because something is correct, doesn't mean it's right?"
Ren shook his head.
"Profound, but no".
"Hmm... People die when they are killed?"
"Yes" Ren nodded. "People die when they are killed. They die. They don't respawn, nor do they get stronger. They. Die. And I can already see everything happening: two girls will help each other to kidnap me. In the meanwhile" Ren took out a paper from his pocket. "Take your harem, and Jaune, and Pyrrha and go to this place".
Cardin accepted the paper. It was a map written 'Demon Fox Raid Zone'.
In a circle, bold words were written: TOTALLY NOT SOME SORT OF CURSED OBJECT THAT JAUNE SHOULD PICK UP.
"What is this?" Asked Cardin. "Seems ominous..."
Ren held back his urge to laugh.
"It's just a prize or something. Look, you guys go have fun around there and I will try to deal with my problems. Good luck".
"But-"
"True heroes totally accept dangerous challenges".
"I'M ON IT!"
Ren watched as Cardin ran away. Nora, that stood in silence this whole time asked:
"What was that?"
"Some sort of cursed object that Jaune will pick up. Part of my plan".
"Your plan?" Asked the ginger.
Ren nodded.
"Sooner or later things will get out of hand. It's just the way it's supposed to be. And, I know that for me to rule the school, Jaune and co. will try to stand in my way. So, I'm making him become my enemy now".
Nora was confused.
"Why would you do that?"
"Because then I will be able to start a game-like setting. And, unlike last time, I will be the one choosing the game and the stage. Aaannd my enemy will be Jaune".
"But still, team RWBY and-"
"Will not be a problem" Ren sneered. "I know a certain school staff addicted to gaming that would gladly hold back team RWBY if it meant they could watch the entire fight. By making Jaune my enemy, team RWBY won't be able to interfere. Next, I beat up Jaune, get the power of Yamato no Orochi, rise as the demon lord, return to Beacon and take over the school."
"Yay!" Nora comemorated. "Soon those sluts will be out of the game! Checkmate, team RWBY. You will fall... one by one!"
"Nora..."
"Ren is divinity... he is god! And king! And you will never have him!"
Ren sighed. She was someone he couldn't redirect easily.
"But still... there is a whole entire school of girls after me. There is even a fujoshi. I can only deal with team RWBY"
Nora hugged him:
"No worries, sweetie. Let's just enjoy the resort while it lasts and worry about that later!"
"Yeah, you are right".
Ren started to walk and Nora followed him.
"So, what will you do now?"
"Now?" Ren thought about it. "I think it will take a while until team RWBY wake up..."
'I guess it's better to raise Nora's affection in the meantime... okay, dating sim time!'
"Nora" Ren grabbed her hand. "Would you want to join me... in my free time?"
Nora had tears in her eyes.
"I have been waiting for so long to hear those words".
20 minutes later...
Nora and Ren were sitting in a bench. They were at a village near the resort.
Nora was eating her ice cream [actually Ren's (she swiftly traded them)] happily.
"This is so good!"
Ren smiled. He looked like a predator about to take down his prey.
"Nora, wait... you have ice cream here".
The Maou used his thumb to clean Nora's cheek and ate the ice cream.
"R-Ren?!" Nora blushed.
"Delicious".
40 minutes since leaving the resort...
Sitting in front of a cafe, the duo was smiling happily. Random villagers were taking attention at them, but Ren didn't care.
'Those NPCs are of no importance'.
"This tea tastes great!" Said Nora upon drinking her tea [actually Ren's (she swiftly traded them)]
Ren drank a portion of his and felt like vomiting. 'This isn't tea! It's just water heated with herbs!'
But he held back his face and smiled to Nora.
"It's great, but it doesn't taste as great as you".
Nora looked at him puzzled.
"You mean the tea I make?"
"No" Ren picked Nora's mug and took a sip from her tea. "I meant you".
He finished the phrase with a slasher smiled.
Nora blushed to the point steam came from her ears.
1 hour after leaving the resort...
Ren and Nora sat on a hill. The village was right bellow them and the starry dark sky was painted by the flames of the fireworks.
Nora laughed.
"It's funny how it's still morning but for some reason the sky darkened and now people are celebrating something".
"Actually" said Ren. "I think the sky darkened because Jaune and Cardin must be facing the boss of the dungeon. The fireworks must be of some sort of legend or something".
"What do you mean?" Asked Nora curiously.
"It's all that RPG thing. Magic existed, magic war happened, magic was gone, magic returned, crystal shards were spread through the world, evil emperor controlled by a demon does bad stuff, his sexy henchman is actually the final villain, child of the prophecy and allies fight them and people shoot fireworks to the sky".
"Well, that happened".
"Yup" Ren nodded then looked at her in the eyes. "But you know what is happenig now?"
Nora blushed.
"W-What?"
"My urge to give a kiss in those sweet and soft lips of yours".
"W-WHAT?!"
Ren caressed Nora's chin and brougth his face closer to hers.
"Ren..." Nora murmured his name while closing her eyes.
Her face was so full of innocence that Ren nearly had second thoughts. But he was a king. The Harem King. And if he couldn't kiss girl with courage, then he would fail his title.
"Nora..." He also murmured his name while closing his eyes.
Closer... closer... he could even feel her breathing...
"TOO SOON!" Shouted Nora.
"What?!" Ren opened his eyes wide.
Nora was standing, red like a tomato, moving bakc and forth.
"Well,itisn'tthatIdon'tlikeyou,Ilikeyou,likeyoualot,likelikeyou,butthisprogressionisabittoofast,andI'musedtotheotherwayaround,sinceyouweredense,soIwasveryhappywhenIhadachanceeversincethoseslutsappeared,butI'mnotreadyforthis,Ineedabitmoreoftime,yousee?That'swhywheneverIwouldsay'love'Iwouldsay'boop',causeI'mstillunabletoopenupwithmyfeelings,butItrulywantto,butit'stoohard!"
Ren tried to grasp what she was saying.
"What?"
"BOOP!" She shouted upon running away.
Ren sat there alone, on the hill unable to understand what happened.
"Did I just get rejected?"
The fireworks still were iluminating the dark sky and the breeze of the wind shook him a bit.
"What just happened? I mean, she is crazy for me, right? Did I make a mistake in my aproach?"
He could swear he did all the advancements a normal harem protagonist wouldn't do. But they should work!
"O-Okay... come, team RWBY!" He said without willpower. "Kidnap me or whatever... I'm ready to wake up in the middle of the springs just ti narrowly escape your clutches... it's supposed to happen like this, right?"
No one came. Ren then remembered Nora knocked them all out during the night.
'I'm alone... this feels so... so...'
A breeze of wind passed through him.
"This feels so awkward" he muttered upon getting up. "So... does that mean I have been way too aggressive? Ugh, I am so confused!"
Heretic notes:
It's always the same formula, so I decided to make it different for once. Instead f finishing with some random cliffhanger, finishing the chapter with an actual final for a chapter.
Then people will ask:
"But Heretic, why would you do that?"
Then I would say:
"Well, it's quite fun and all, but I had finished reading volume 1 of Rokka no Yuusha. I started reading because the anime had too many cliffhangers. And GUESS WHAT! The volume ends with a cliffhanger! So I was like, no! Enough of that! Stop the damn cliffhangers! Then I had to read up all of volume 2 and now I started the third and it's still full of friggin cliffhangers!"
So... that's about it.
Later, guys!
Heretic, out!