CHAP 25:
For a run-down old warehouse as the location we were at seemed to be, it's surroundings were breathtakingly picturesque. The little blocks of gardens here and there made the place seem so quaint. Instantly I could see myself spending most of my time out here. If nothing else, it was cathartic. But then I'd always been easily swept up in the beauty that nature offered. Between the gardened blocks were paths of gravel which crunched under foot which each step. I wondered if it served as a sort of alarm system. If anyone held hostage here were to make a run for it, the vampires inside would surely hear each footfall. Elijah and I walked in silence for a while as we moved further and further away from the building. I'd completely forgotten about the coffee in my hands until Elijah commented that I wouldn't drink it at all if it got too cold. Doubting that my stomach even wanted the coffee I took a sip and let the flavour roam around my mouth. The residual mint from the toothpaste prevented me from really appreciating it. But it was surprising how instantaneous the urge to drink more was as I swallowed and the warmth travelled downwards within my chest. Drinking a couple of mouthfuls in quick succession I could feel Elijah's eyes on me. Turning to face him I was met with his I told you so look as we came to a halt. But instead of the underlying knowing within the expression, there was relief.
"Huh. Uncertainty looks good on you." I said smiling at him.
"Is that, a compliment? Because knowledge is power and if one is without. Then they are worse off."
"Definitely a compliment. Weakness can bring out attractive qualities you know." Elijah frowned and I felt the need to clarify. "What I mean to say is that you always seem so sure of yourself. While the current state of things isn't great. I'm glad I get to see this side of you." When Elijah continued to frown at me as if I wasn't seeing the situation I was in with enough seriousness, I continued. "Trying to concentrate on the positives here Elijah." I stated insistently before sighing as I mobilised again. "You know me well enough that it's obvious I'm not one to bask in a gentleman's protection. Ordinarily, I wouldn't need it. I'm not about to dwell on the fact that you can't provide it now. When for once, I wouldn't be adverse to it."
The little plots of garden gave way to a large lawn area. It was obvious that someone tended to the gardens and mowed the lawn here. I could only assume that while the warehouse was run down someone must own it. Wether Klaus had disposed of that someone or had them controlled to keep the place maintained, who could be sure? Soon I caught sight of an all-in-one wooden picnic table with bench seats and Elijah and I made our way to the setting and got comfortable. Sitting down with my back facing the warehouse Elijah sat across from me.
"To keep lookout." He explained when I looked at him questioningly. Taking another gulp of my coffee I picked up on the hint of awkwardness that seemed to reside with Elijah. It seemed to be sporadic. Like he was trying to cover up an inner conflict. Deciding not to question it I placed the mug back down on the table.
"Will we be heard?"
"We should be far enough away from the building that any curious ears shouldn't be able to determine what we're speaking about."
"Shouldn't?" I asked before continuing sternly. "If we're to discuss that kiss in the bathroom, openly. I want to be assured that we have some reliable privacy." I waited for several long moments, hoping that Elijah would understand my suggestion to use some sort of code to discuss what he'd felt in the bathroom. It didn't take long for him to raise his eyebrows and smirk at me. I could almost swear there was some pride beneath his humoured understanding.
"The kiss? I see. Privacy under these conditions cannot be guaranteed Elena." He spoke matter-of-fact. I considered him for a few long moments before it struck me. His senses were heightened as a vampire. I could trace letters onto his skin to give a simple explanation for now. Something in my eyes must have lit up because Elijah was watching me with interest.
"Is it possible to communicate in our own personal tongue?" I queried before standing up and moving away from the bench seat I was sat on, to round the table and sit to Elijah's left. Smirking at him I slid myself as close as possible to him and reached my left arm across to rest my hand on the top of his left thigh. Leaning in closer still and turning my torso so my front was against Elijah's side, I tilted my head upwards and gently kissed his lips. I could feel the gentle smile that graced his mouth before he began to respond. We savoured each other's lips slowly as Elijah moved his left arm to cover my left hand with his own and curled his fingers in the spaces between mine. Running the tip of my tongue along the break forming between Elijah's lips I pressed my mouth more firmly against his and took his lower lip between my teeth and tugged playfully. Nearly giggling when Elijah responded with a low growl.
Backing off in the kiss I moved the palm of my right hand up Elijah's back before tapping with my index finger insistently. Kissing towards the left corner of his mouth I travelled my mouth along his jaw and up to his ear and suckled on his earlobe.
"Paying attention?" I whispered in his ear. Before tracing a test sentence on his back. The first letter, and word was "I". Once I'd traced it, I completely removed my hand from his back indicating a pause and whispered "Space." Into his his ear. Then I traced "F-O-R-G-I-V-E". "Space." Came my whispered voice again before tracing my final letter and word. "U". "End."I whispered at the same time as squeezing his thigh. Elijah chuckled softly.
"Yes. You've got my attention." Came his response and I moved my lips back along his jaw and joined our mouths again. I went through the process of tracing the simplest most informative explanation I could give regarding my oddly placed contraceptive implant. The resulting tactile explanation resulting in:
"What you felt is the contraceptive implant Klaus was feeling for in my upper arms last night. Placement in my arm, not effective enough. Too many side-affects with implant in cervix. So arm implant placed closer to my plumbing, for easier absorption of chemicals. Worked. I shouldn't get pregnant. Small relief."
Co-ordinating the pauses and squeezes to his thigh while continuing to kiss Elijah, proved to be more difficult than I planned. Especially when he delved his tongue deeper into my mouth and stroked the underside of my tongue. That spot was so sensitive it released a whimper from me to be engulfed by Elijah's mouth. Finally I pulled my head away from Elijah and caught his eye, raising my right eyebrow to add effect before I gave him a small smile.
"It could be worse. For us, for everyone." I gave him a small smile. He didn't return it, but there was a slight glimmer, a spark in his eyes as if he was mulling over every possible exploit this new information might allow. It wasn't exactly how I thought he'd accept the knowledge that Klaus wasn't going to get everything he wants. But if it gave him some hope, I certainly wouldn't complain. The awkwardness was still there though. To be honest it was starting to aggravate me a little.
"I think I can understand your optimism now." Elijah accepted. Leaning against his side, so my head rested upon his shoulder I sighed.
"But?" I knew there was a but there was an undetectable hint of resentment in his tone that I wouldn't have even picked up if we didn't have such an intimate bonding.
"You know what the but is Elena."
"How could I not? Your brother is not the easiest thing to erase from your memory, from your skin. And you continue to remind me of him by keeping yourself focused on my impending doom." I snapped a little. Elijah stiffened before he spoke slowly.
"I hope you realise you will suffer far more than anyone else if Klaus gets his way? You are aware that he will continue to violate you so personally as much as he pleases. If you're thinking you can handle him, you need to think otherwise. What occurred over night was not Klaus at his worst. What I've allowed him to do to you is unspeakable. Yet you regard this situation with flippancy and feel the need to take responsibility for everyone else involved. You are still very much naïve, my love. If you think I hold some unmentioned plan of removing you, or your family from all of this, then I must be blunt with you. I do not have anything up my sleeve Elena. Do not hold any hope of that." Reaching across the table to grab the mug of coffee I finished it in three gulps and my stomach instantly lurched at the quick pace of my consumption. Thankfully it passed within seconds as anger boiled within me. What on earth was wrong with him? Okay so he was obviously going to continue beating himself up over all of this. But he had no right to tell me how I should be handling this.
"Don't you dare infer that I am naïve! Who was it with your brother buried in her? Who was it that had to get through what he was doing, while trying to screen my reactions, how sickening and painful it was, because you had to stay in the room?" My voice had risen and I had to swallow a couple of times as nausea rose up within me, before I continued in a hiss. "And don't squash any hope that I may or may not have. Because, funnily enough. I have hope that I can keep my remaining family alive by trying my best to do as Klaus wishes. There is hope." I stood up, readying myself to walk away. I didn't know where I was going. But I couldn't let Elijah's mood drag me down. "I am the one faced with losing the family I have left. Losing you if you continue to hang around. Perhaps you are the naïve one. Klaus will kill you. I am not thrilled with all that I have to look forward to. But I am not going to wallow in defeat and feel sorry for myself. If you're going to drag me down by insisting that I should be as serious and depressed as you seem to be. Not to mentioning blaming yourself, then you may as well just leave. Because as much as it will hurt, after finally opening myself up to someone; for them to leave me. I prefer that to you being dead." I turned on my heel and began stalking back towards the warehouse. I didn't know that I really wanted to go back inside. But after my outburst I didn't want to face Elijah. I'd been honest in what I'd said. But he'd been nothing but kind to me and in the moments just passed I had been rude. He did know more than me about his brother. But to insinuate that I wasn't aware of how serious everything was now, was ridiculous!
Elijah flashed in front of me and I stopped abruptly.
"Elena-." He trailed off. His expression saturated with pity. So that's what it is.
"What?" I snapped.
"I'm sorry."
"That's just it Elijah. You're too sorry. The first time Klaus got to me you didn't look at me or regard me with any pity. Which I was extremely grateful for. If you held it for me then, yet didn't show it. You need to keep doing so. But if your pity for me is breaking through and making you focus on every horrible detail now, then you need to keep it in check. Sometimes you're strong and look and talk to me like there's some normalcy amidst all this! But then you're awkward and it doesn't flatter you. Nor does it help me. In fact it grates me that I should need the strength of someone else to keep me going. But I've come to rely on you. So if you're staying, get your act together, because I need you." I looked up at him fiercely, my chest rising and falling heavily. Some warmth crept into his eyes. Did I just give him an ultimatum? I think so. After a long pause that felt as though it was dragging on forever Elijah finally spoke.
"How I've longed to be needed by you." He murmured taking my left hand in his right. Sensing that he was about to get his act together, or at least focus on something more positive I remained silent. My lips parted as I stared into his gradually warming eyes, allowing him every opportunity to mould his decision. I knew that should he decide to leave me, it wasn't a choice to be made quickly. But I also knew that I'd like to be aware of as much detail as possible, to how he might come to his decision. I wasn't going to judge him on it. I would simply want to know. "You cannot ask me to feel any way other than how I am Elena. I've put you in this situation. Myself alone. You are too generous of heart to allow yourself to accept that my actions have led us here."
I stepped forward minutely so that the front of our bodies touched. I placed my left palm against the left side of his chest while my right hand snaked up the right side, over his shoulder and curved around the back of his neck. Allowing my fingers to delve slightly past his hairline, I maintained eye contact
"You know what I think?" I enquired softly. Elijah drew his arms around me and raised his eyebrows slightly in acknowledgement. "I think, you've been on your own for far too long. You are just as bad as me Mr. Surviving on your own merits in all your time alone, taking responsibility for your actions along the way. Anything that occurred was the result of you doing, or as a result of inaction. You're so used to it, that you can't share the blame you seem obsessed with placing on yourself unjustly. The load on your shoulders is weighing you down Elijah. You've said that you were once like me. Shut off. But that you opened up because you needed me by your side . I don't think you realise you're still keeping a lot to yourself." I paused and looked at him as I considered how I'd come to be here. "I know that if you had killed me from the get-go that I wouldn't be here now. I know that had you killed me prior to Klaus interrupting our-." -I blushed and looked down at his nose- "intimacy. That we would not be here right now." I looked up to his eyes again. "I also know. That, perhaps Jonas was not the most reliable warlock to have an alliance with." Elijah looked down from my eyes as I continued. "I know that you made all the decisions that led us here. That essentially led Klaus to us. I also know that every decision was quite possibly despite your own better judgement. You don't strike me as having been able to put yourself first in much of your vampire life Elijah. And yet you chose to with me. You chose to be sparing with your stern caution with me. Recklessness, as you probably see it, with something that is obviously so valuable to both parties. Is in itself, how you have been able to keep me safe. Your behaviour. Your decisions have been out of character. Klaus has surely kept tabs on what you've done against his plans again and again. And he is your brother. He would know you at least as well as you know him. Your behaviours would have become predictable. By putting me and yourself first for once. It could quite likely have aided in keeping me safe from Klaus for as long as you did. And yet, it is not all you. This all involves me. I am the reason you took the chance to open yourself up again. The reason you wanted to have me in your life. The reason you wanted to give me back mine. My mere existence rests some of the responsibility on me. And don't justify me by stating that I did not have any direct impact on any decisions you made. Because I have and I always will. Just by being who I am. You've wanted me to share myself with you, instead of shutting myself away. Well, it works both ways. Let me take responsibility of the blame you've placed on yourself. You don't need to go it alone."
Elijah looked at me admiringly, yet it wasn't quite genuine. But it was a start, if he was giving himself a break and just feeling however my speech made him without any reservations on wether it was appropriate. Drawing me close he held me to him in a warm, solid embrace. Sighing comfortably I hugged him back and buried my face into his chest, breathing him in. Tears I didn't even know were threatening, welled up in my eyes and broke their banks to run down my skin, finding the material of Elijah's shirt. I allowed them to stream from my eyes, not holding them back as the chest I was held against hummed in time to Elijah's voice.
"While I resent my actions Elena. What troubles me most is what you have to endure. Secondly is that I'm losing you. And it has nothing to do with Klaus possessing you. In one night you've regressed." Elijah stroked the length of my hair. "That's not an accusation. No-one could blame you." Removing my face from his chest I looked up and found his eyes questioningly.
"I have?"
"Mmm."
"But-. Well, you can't expect me to be consistently open with you Elijah. I've only just acknowledged how I feel for you. It doesn't come naturally."
"No. But you're shutting me out nevertheless. And it's not a matter of adjusting. It's your defence."
"I-. I didn't realise." I pushed away from his chest confused. "Are you sure?"
"Quite." He replied simply while I wiped my tears away. "Your face alone is a riddled mask. Your defensive behaviour ads to the puzzle. I'm finding it difficult to read you aside from your physical traits and acceptance-."
"Well isn't this nice? Beautiful surroundings for the happy, or rather unhappy couple. Comprising of my beautiful Elena." Klaus' voice interjected behind me suddenly as his arms came around my sides and closed across my abdomen. I jumped and looked up at Elijah with wide eyes as Klaus' front came into contact with my back. Standing stock still in Klaus' arms I fought the urge to pull away from him. "Relax." He hissed almost inaudibly in my right ear. Taking a breath and closing my eyes I leaned back against him, trying to liquefy the tension in my body. "Mmm." I shivered as his lips touched my ear before he spoke up. "So. What do two people in a situation that you two have made yourselves talk about?"
"Surely you have activities to entertain yourself Niklaus, without resorting to idle chatter with Elena and I." Elijah stated.
"Everything entertains me brother. As you would know. You indulged with me at one time."
"Yes. It's amazing what the confines of love will force upon one."
"Oh don't be like that. You enjoyed yourself! You can't deny the fulfilment complete control of others brings you." Elijah kept himself composed despite the uncomfortable vibes coming off him.
"Is there a reason you have to taint Elena's cleanliness before nightfall?
"Oh we're only touching Elijah. Have a heart. I enjoy being close to Elena. And she should enjoy being close to me. Isn't that right sweetheart?" Swallowing hard I nodded my head slowly.
"Mhmm." Was the extent of my monotoned verbal response, but I lifted my right hand to place it on Klaus' across my front.
"She's hiding her joy to not sicken you by how smitten we are with one another. Not everyone likes to see an intimate pairing. Aren't you my lovely?" He pressed himself against my back more firmly causing my breath to hitch in my throat. The sickening heat of nausea swelled within me and I started to shake a little. Exhaling the breath I had been holding, I forced the unease from my body, thinking of Jeremy and Jenna. Willing my body to let me feel less sick sometime soon.
"Yes. It would also be insensitive of us, if Sarah's around. She seems a little sensitive to intimacy when she's not involved." Klaus chuckled.
"Very good." He breathed. "In any case. I need you to come inside sweetheart. Greta and Jonas have need of your company. With that he released me and stepped back away from me. I spun around to face him. "Off you go, love." He gestured to the warehouse with his hands. Slowly turning and stepping towards Elijah who began to turn from Klaus himself, we both paused the instant Klaus spoke again. "Alone. Elijah, I would like to speak with you while Elena is being seen to." Seen to? Fear gripped me and I couldn't recommence my movement. "You know the way back don't you Elena?" Klaus asked and walked over to me again.
"Yes." I looked to him and saw a glint in his eye. He expects me to do something. Anticipation bloomed within him and I moved closer to him before placing my left hand on the top of his own and placed my lips on the higher corner of his mouth courtesy of his smirk. Lingering for a few moments something brushed firmly against my right breast and I gasped softly. Removing my lips from a now grinning Klaus. Distaste and horror contoured my face the moment I realised he'd took it upon himself to touch me suggestively. But as his grin snapped to a thin line of bottled fury, I schooled myself to view him with some cheek and licked my lips suggestively. Biting my bottom lip and releasing it slowly from my teeth Klaus' face quickly showed his approval. Darting forward he moved his head to the left side of mine before breathing his parting words in my ear.
"You minx! Bring that to the bedroom love. Or wherever I feel the need to take you." Yuck!