Your reactions were great! It does make me smile hearing your thoughts. Some of you should be really proud of yourselves for getting plot lines before I post the chapter for them. Although I completely surprised you with what is happening with Tris!
Note: I do not own the novels/world created by Veronica Roth.
Many doctors come in and out, checking my pulse, adjusting tubes. They link tubes around my ears, two stumps pressed in to my nostrils. It helps, making the tightness in my chest eased. The strain everything has taken on my body has sent me spiraling in to a never ending fatigue. All I wish for right now is to be able to move, stretch my body, maybe even sit up.
I'm not allowed to eat. They're starving me out, in case I have to go in to surgery again. They give me a glucose drip. I have the upper hand here. They can't threaten me with minimal food, or none at all. That would affect the "precious growth of the baby," I imagine Jeanine saying. My world is still rocked by all of this. In a matter of seconds, it all crumbled down - the wants and needs I decided became the wants and needs for two people. I was too young to be dealing with something as huge as this.
Hours pass again. I'm trying to think back, to that night. How long ago it was. I estimate a month, possibly longer but I cannot be sure. My brain has been so starved there isn't as much fluidity. I'm able to get some sleep, trying to minimize the tossing and turning that will occur. I can see that perhaps these restraints are good after all during sleep, they keep me from ripping any stitches.
My eyes bolt open, sucking in a deep breath. I could sense something menacing. I blink, my eyelashes meshing together. The beeps on the heart rate monitor is going off the chart. It starts to slow down when I realize Kaitlyn is in the room.
Her arms are crossed, lips pursed. Her hair is in a sharp line, a razor edge you could almost cut your finger on.
"What do you want?" I spit at her. I'm in no mood for her.
"If you continue like that, perhaps I won't be so kind."
I sigh deeply. I nod my head at her.
"We are willing to let you get up and about. Inside the room."
"Why?" I question. It seems too good to be true.
"Because we can't leave you to decondition."
My eyebrows raise. "I'm guessing some kind of test relies on my physical capabilities?"
I notice how she appears to be keeping eye contact but isn't. Her eyes seem to have floated to the bridge of my nose.
"Something like that."
She continues. "There isn't anything in this room you can use as a weapon. Don't even bother."
Kaitlyn finishes the distance between the both of us. Her hands weave in to the buckles, loosening them from my wrist. I can see red lines where the leather had cut in to my flesh. Once both of my wrists are released, I bring them to my chest. My fingers gently massage the sores. I feel free. I wriggle my legs in the bed, entwining with the sheets. A little sigh escapes from my chest. It feels so much better to be able to curl my body up. Kaitlyn watches me like a cat in the sun, crawling to get the best spot.
After a while, she leaves me in my silence. I pull myself in to a sitting position, my back aches. It feels like the bones of my spine have been used as a musical instrument, played too hard and for too long. I stopped at the last minute as my hand etched towards my stomach. I could understand now, why an expectant mother would hold her stomach - it was something that was instilled in to you as a female.
The rest of the day went by with nobody coming to disturb me. I could hear guards change their shifts outside my door, I at least knew that it was night time. It wasn't until now I felt well enough to dangle my feet over the side of the bed. My toes touched the cold linoleum floor. The balls of my feet took my weight. I held on tight to the railings of the bed as I attempted to stand. It was hard, I couldn't deny that. My knees shook, my stomach muscles clenched in, making the abdominal bruising ache further.
I wasn't going to push it. In truth, I did need my strength. And I wasn't going to get it back by over doing it. The rest and recuperation that they wanted me to partake in was actually needed.
I rested my body back down upon the bed, not even having taken a step. A new wave of fatigue had settled in my body. I pulled my body on to it's side, curling my legs up so my ankles touched my thighs. My fingers linked, elbows resting against each other. My forefingers rested upon my lips gently. So dosed up on painkillers, I was hoping this would be an a sleep that would not be interrupted by the likes of pain or people.
Time started to become lost. I hadn't been visited by anyone bar doctors in what I thought was at least five days. On the third day, I had mustered enough strength now to be able to get up and pace around a little. I took a lot of time just sitting upright, contemplating my situation. I slept a lot.
It occurred to me that this was probably phase one of their testing. You observe a creature before you trap it. I was trapped, but hadn't really been observed.
There was utter silence in the room, twenty four, seven when a doctor wasn't here. Even then they didn't speak to me, even if I asked them a question. They would check my vitals, leave me some liquidated food.
I was near to bursting point. I had sat on the bed, feet dangling over the side and wailed. Tears streamed down my face, my eyes puffing. My nose ran, causing me to sniffle. The tears fell in to my palms, my upper body shaking. If they had intended to break my spirit, it was working. Isolation wasn't easy.
I didn't know if it was hormones. I knew the sickness I had been feeling, the amount of buckets I had thrown the contents of my stomach in to early in the morning was definitely to do with this... pregnancy. It still sounded like a foreign concept. I hadn't been able to bathe properly bar strip washes. I had turned away in to a corner when I did, my bare back only facing the doorway. They claimed there hadn't been any cameras. They lied. I knew there had to be, because as soon as something spiked, I started to look a little more unwell than I should do a doctor was immediately there.
I could hear the door creak open. He rushed towards me. His hands tried to pry my arms away from my face. I argued with his body, not wanting him to see my face in an utter mess.
"Tris," he pleaded with me.
"No! I screamed. It took a great deal of time for him to calm me down. He pushed me against his chest, his hands cradling my head. I bashed my arms against him, trying to break away. My sobs turned from ones of anguish to misery. He had whispered things in to my ear, flattening my hair to my scalp.
"What is so wrong?" Eric asks when he allows me to be released from his grip. His hands are caressing my face, his thumbs wiping away the tears on my face.
"I can't take this. You have to get me out of here, Eric," I whisper in a frenzy to him.
"I can't, I'm so sorry. I can't."
"Please, you need to."
His face looks so conflicted. His forehead rests against mine, his eyes closing. Eric's eyelashes are thick and long, resting against the top of his cheek.
In my current state I wasn't acutely aware of my actions. My hand had rested upon my stomach, trying to take strength from it. I snatched it away before he could see it. I told him to just leave me alone, I wasn't in the mood for this. I wanted my own time. He looked mortally wounded as I said it. Eric left.
It was another few days before I got a visitor. My face had become an emotionless mask. I was growing weary, actually wanting to have the tests, just so I could have some human contact. Not that it would be humane.
I was so relieved to see Four's face that is nearly broke me in to a spiral of tears again. He had walked in to the room with such a great posture, I almost didn't notice his face. It too broke down, like a damn when he saw me. His eyes were his own They were Tobias. I let out a puff of air.
His head moved to the side ever so gently. Signalling to be to be quiet.
"I'm here to escort you. It's time for your first test."
He nodded toward the bed. I hopped in to it, as he released the locks that kept it secured. He came up beside me. pushing away the bed. It wobbled, the bed wasn't comfortable to be in as it ran across the floor.
I'm wheeled through many corridors, the edges of the bed smacking against the sharp wall edges. It's like an electric shock every time, targeting the bruises that cover my body.
We reach an elevator. Four presses the button, ringing for it to come to our level. The bed is shoved inside, Four squished against the wall. He is still staring ahead in that absent minded way. I wondered if this was all a trick. Or a dream. Maybe I was in a coma. We rise, heading towards the top level. The door pings open. Four is pushing me fast down the corridor, till we reach a door.
"I'm going to get you out of here," he whispers to me.
I wince, my face pulling together, twisted as he helps me shuffle to the side of the bed. When my feet touch the floor, I can feel the weakness that has still settled in to my body, despite the gentle exercise I have been doing. I place my arm around Fours shoulders as he wraps his delicately around my waist. I'm pressed snugly against his body. We shuffle, the door handle turns under Fours touch, it opens. In front of us is a set of stairs. I let out a deep puff of air.
"I don't think I can climb all those." I'm walking with a limp, my body weight leaning in to Fours heavily. He shakes his head to me. Leaning me against the wall, he tries to shut the door in silence. There is a lock on our side, he pushes against it. A loud click sounds out.
Four opens his arms out in front of me, bending down. He rests one behind my knees, the other around my shoulders.
"Ready?" I nod to him, preparing to feel the pain. He lifts me in to his arms. It makes him stagger backwards, adjusting to my added weight. Trudging up the stairs as quickly as he can, my body is bouncing against his. I wind my arms around his neck, his face pulling closer to mine. My head is nestled against his chest, the drumming sound of his heart throbbing against my ear canal.
We reach the top of the stairs. Four places me down, asking if I'm okay. I give him another nod, trying to catch my breath. The pain is returning to my abdomen, trying to keep a steady flow of breaths to stop from passing out.
Four kicks out against the door, it slams open. A cold wind rushes at my bare ankles. I was only in a pair of white linen shorts and a thin, almost see through tank top.
C'mon," Four comes to support me once more.
The roof has a lot of grit under foot. I'm struggling to walk, feeling a horrible taste in my mouth.
"Tobias, where are we going?"
We stop. He turns his body to mine, hands embracing my face.
"I couldn't find another way out. I'm sorry - you're going to have to do some jumping."
"Jumping?!"
"I'm sorry." His words were saying he was sorry for a hell of a lot more.
My hands wind in my hair, trying to relieve the stress. It all had happened so quickly. I had known that day when I saw something twinkle in his eyes, he was more of the Tobias I knew. How he got out of the simulation, was unknown. I wanted to know everything. Tobias pulls me down towards the roof, trying to keep out of sight.
I sink in to the grit on the roof, it scrapes at my knees.
"You don't understand, I don't think I can."
"The abdominal wound? It should be healed enough for this."
I shake my head. I know the next thing I say, could break the whole plan of Four wanting to get me out of here.
"I've been throwing up every day for the last couple of weeks. Only limited to the mornings."
I didn't know if he knew. I doubt they would have really told him.
"What - What does that mean?" Four stammers.
"I'm pregnant, Tobias. I'm just so sorry."
"Do they know?" His voice wavers.
"Of course. It's the only way I found out."
"Do they know you know?"
"I'm pretty sure they don't."
"I certainly didn't know," he scratches his forehead. His face is such a display of emotions, I can't pick out one precisely.
"I hate to push you to do this Tris but we don't have time. We will, when we get to Abnegation. But right now, you have to be strong. You have to jump, you have to climb, you have to run. Do you understand that? It isn't just about you anymore."
I look down towards my stomach.
"Not just like that," he mutters.
Till next time :)