Sophia? Chapter 25: Baby, I love you, a walking dead fanfic

A/N:: I am dead. I like just killed Daryl... o.o I. KILLED. DARYL. DIXON. I am sooooo dead, dead, dead. deader than dead! deader than the undead! o.o i'm scared because Yazzy x is gonna kick my ass...and my buddy on DA (ZombiMandi) is gonna read this and soon be up to date and read that i KILLED Daryl Dixon and skin me alive. ahhhhh.

Ok ok, another thing, I am sooooooooooooooo truely sorry for the wait. :( I was out for the weekend and there was no internet then I hurt my foot and now am in a boot and all, soooo, it hurts and like need rest and the medicine for it makes me drowsy, so yeah. Something with my ankle. I'm a Accient PRO. ;P

Just a notice, MY BRITHDAY IS ON THE 30TH. I just can't wait, i'm going to Carowinds in Charlotte with my very close loving friend Megan. I love her and we will ride EVERYTHING TOGETHER. WE WILL. YEAHHH. Funny thing is she's two years younger than me but like a foot taller than me, well more like 7-9 inches. haha. :D Caryl on, here we go, dead Dixon...COUGH.

Also I added a song into this one. A song I think relates PERFECTLY to Caryl as a Carol POV. :) I love this song and always think of them when I hear it, if you havn't heard it (cough, Yazzy x...this means you...) you better go hear it. it rocks the Carylers feels. :D do it and I MIGHT let Daryl live...woo, I just said that. mraaahaaahaaa.

And this is for Yazzy x, curse MC for spoiling you! MC must reallyyyyyyyyyyy love you. damn thing doesn't seem to really like me. :(

Carol cried. She really cried, cried harder than she did when Sophia died. She held Daryl's head in her lap, stroking his blood-stained hair. His eyes we're shut and the blood dripping from the side of his head was already dried. She sniffled as she looked into his face, his mouth was open a little bit and what she didn't notice was he WAS breathing. She sighed, and started to talk lightly to him, to what use to be him, "you know, when I was in my late twenties, I was only dating Ed. I went to a bar one night, a late September night, I remember it all to real. But I was just wanting to have a night of letting go..." she stared into his eyes, he was handsome, "and when I entered, I went to the front to order a drink and the bartender looked at me. He had the most handsome eyes, a bright blue but they didn't seem full of what they should. They looked weary and tense like the soul of the owner of them was hurt. I knew this because my own mom liked to beat me and call me names sometimes, not a lot like your father did to you, but enough. I knew the signs of child abuse and that man showed them, just from his amazing eyes"

She looked at him, why didn't she kiss him when she had a chance? Why didn't she just tell him her feelings? Now it was too late, he was dead. She waited too long and now it was fucking too late. She was such a dumbass. Like Daryl would say, a pussy. Too scared and pent up for her own good. Worthless whore, thats all she is. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and fell onto his face. She wiped them off with the back of her hand and kissed the spots the fell on to before continuing her story, "I nodded to me and asked me what I wanted. His voice was gruffy but I liked it. He got me my drink and our hands brushed, it felt like static, we met eyes and I swear, something about the way we looked at eachother was a silent message. We shared something. The more I look back at that day the more I think of you. Only now do I realise that man, well that handsome man was you" she sighed and cried, putting on hand over her face while the other stroked Daryl's chest. She cried and cried, why did this happen? Why to her? Her heart was already broken enough, now it was a full on mess.

She had been thinking about him ever since she handed him dinner back at the quarry, where he gave her that simple nod and a quick glance of eye contact with his starry cobalt blue eyes, staring at her like she was not like the others. Had he thought of her that way? She knew instantly by how he acted he was abused and he knew for sure she was because Ed all but beat her in public. When they first talked it was when she was doing laundry and he brought his, he nodded and looked at his feet, asking if she had room for his. She had nodded and took it from him, that being the first time they touched as their fingers brushed slightly, she took no effort to show she noticed anything about the touch while he fidgeted with his shirt and chewed his thumb nail as she put his dirty clothes in the wash, he grunted a 'thank ya' to her before walking off, she watched him go, wondering when she started wanting him to be Sophia's father. That was also the day she found something of his she never seemed to have returned. A crumbled up piece of paper, it had a few ripes on the edges, it was old, very old but intact. It had a drawing on it, their was a beautiful set of angel wings scribbled on by a minor-working pen and underneath it said, 'she's just like me'. She didn't know who the 'she' was, but she wished she did. She never got the courage to give it back to him even after he asked people if they saw it somewhere, he even looked at her, his eyes silently asking her if she knew but she just shrugged, he had nodded and went to ask his brother Merle while she asked him silently for forgiveness for lying to him. But she didn't say no, she just shrugged. SO that didn't mean anything, didn't count as lying to him or saying anything more than a simple gesture, that small movement could mean anything. And even now she still had it, it was back in her...no their, cell -which was now HERS since he isn't here no more-, sitting in her small black bag she kept underneath her bunk, she always kept the stuff she wanted no one to know about there. A picture of Sophia, Sophia's doll, Daryl's crumbling scribbled paper, picture of her young, picture of the young bartender she met that seemed to look just like Daryl -but younger- and other things no one knew about. It was all hers. Not even Daryl knew, but if he was still here, she might just ask him about the paper. She sighed, wiping her eyes as she told him another story, the time she watched him skin a squirrel while mourning the loss of his younger brother, the day after they left the quarry.

"We stayed at that small abandoned house. We didn't a place to stop beforr going to the CDC. You had come back from a hunt and was now skinning a squirrel..."

Carol watched as he cut the squirrel open slowly and carefully, his mind focused on something else though. She knew what it was. His brother. Ever since they came back empty-handed, she thought he seemed to be pulling away a lot. Hunting on free time and barking at anyone who got close, flinching when someone or something touches him, on purpose or on accident, he would glare at them and huff, growling which usually made the thing scurry away in a hurry while other times punching the objects that touched him since he couldn't scare them away. She saw all these things. She watched as he put meat in a plastic bag, the knife in his mouth as he did, he was humming something. Her eyes widened when she realsied what he was humming, 'Broken Girl' by Matthew West. She knew that song and loved it, it didn't help that the song related fully to her and how she was abused by Ed and just needed someone to show her she was worth something, could that somebody be him though? She shook the thought away as he looked up at her, but he didn't look angry, but in grief. He didn't mind her being in his presence. He nodded and continuing his task, the humming stopped. When he was done he looked at his hands and mouthed something, she watched his lips, every word making her heart flutter more.

He said, 'I been beat to the point I don' think I can live on my own. But for everythin' ya have done Merle, bringin' be back from the times I tried to commit suicide and run away or pull away, ya always bring me back, remind me who I am. But ya ain't here now. I don't know what to do, but I know that I will stay strong for ya. Ya could be out there somewhere and someday I might find ya, but i'll stay strong for ya. For everything ya did for me, i'll do this for ya' He looked up to see her tilting her head at him, he nodded to her, taking the meat in his hands and passing her as he brought it into the house, knife now back in his mouth. She took notice of the soft brush his shoulder did against hers as she passed and she didn't think she saw him flinch, he didn't glare at her, he kept going. Maybe there was something.

"...I never forget that day. Those words you told Merle silently, they we're beautiful. Your beautiful. You shouldn't have died this way, but you fought for life. You found Merle again but had to watch him do nasty things. I'm sorry it ended like this, I really am. I'm truely sorry I never got to tell you these three words, I always wanted to but seemed scared for rejection" she looked at him, tears staining her face once again. A old song played in her head, one she use to listen to as a teenager, right now, that song meant a lot.

There are three words, that I've been dying to say to you
Burns in my heart, like a fire that ain't goin' out
There are three words, & I want you to know they are true...
I need to let you know

She never got the chance to tell him those three words, they meant a lot. Each one did. Like a story being told behind the meaning of them, and it was all so true, no matter what happened. If they got in a fight, the words still burned on in her heart until they finally said sorry and made-up. But none of that was living, they never said the words to eachother or knew the other felt that way. They didn't have a relationship or past together like Glenn and Maggie. She sighed as another tear fell.

I wanna say I love you, I wanna hold you tight
I want your arms around me & I, want your lips on mine
I wanna say I love you, but, babe I'm terrified
My hands are shaking, my heart is racing
Cause it's something I can't hide, it's something I can't deny
So here I go...
Baby I love you

"I love you Daryl Dixon" she whispered into his ear, tears falling onto his face, "I love you with everything I have. Only you Daryl Dixon, your the only one I love with my whole life, whole entire life" she sniffled as she tried to hold back any more tears, she finally said it. She told him the words that meant everything, but he didn't hear them, he never would. Because he was gone, forever gone.

I've never said, these words to anyone, anyone at all
Never got this close, cause I was always afraid I would falll
But now i know, that I'll fall right in-to your arms...
Don't ever let me go

She sobbed into her hand as she bit down on it, this was the way she cried back with Ed. He couldn't hear her cry, because her hand muffled it as she bit into it. She would sit in a tight corner with her knees up to her chest and cry into her hand, then she would clean up and come out, always recieving a beating for taking a long time, but it was lost now. He was dead, but so was Daryl. What good could that do. Everything she ever wanted to do to him, do with him, can't be done. Because he was gone and was stupid enough to be scared to take a chance, rejected or accepted.

She looked at her feet, she needed to say it again. Tell his limp body that she loved it, loved every part of him, the good and bad. He was rough but he was soft. He was hot and cold, he was off and on. He was closed he was opened. But she still never told him, if it was while he was sleeping, still ALIVE, but sleeping, she didn't tell him then, if it was before he went off on a hunt or a run or a battle what could lead to death. He risks his life everyday and she still hesitates. Only now, when its finally too late, does she realise the big mistake she made.

Take it in, breathe the air
What is there to really fear
I can't contain, what my heart's sayin'
I gotta say it out loud...

"I love you Daryl and I wish I could tell you sooner" she stopped herself from crying once again, just making the words out in a whisper before her voice cracked in a effort to keep the tears away, she couldn't help but think this was sorta her fault. If she told him, would they even be here in Woodbury? What if it was her, oh how she wishes it was her who went instead of him. She would move heaven and hell for it to have been that way. But it wasn't, it was what it was and it hurt so much.

Everything else didn't matter now, the only thing that did was the feel of her heart breaking fully now. She lost her daughter, she had been beat, she had been failed many times, but this was the last straw, the last string of hope broke when the life of this shy hunter left the world, leaving her alone with nothing left to live for, what would she do now? Since he was gone and no one was there to fill the black dead hole known as the place her heart should lay.

T-Dog took his knife and started jabbing it into the wall, he was eager, something didn't seem right. There was a pit in his stomach that twitched with uneasy. After hours he made a hole and gasped at the sight he got, Carol was no where near hearing him and he only got a slight glance of what was going on, the hole too small and un-fitting. What he did saw, wrecked everything, there lying in Carol's lap was a limp bloody Daryl. His face bruised from beating and his ear had a slit in it and his head had blood running from it, he could hear Carol whispering things to him, there was only there words he caught that hurt him the most. I love you. Daryl was gone, he knew by the way he heard her sobbing and aching for him to be alive and talking to her with his intense blue eyes locked with hers. He looked at Rick and shook his head, mouthing, 'Daryl is gone'

Rick bowed his head as he told Maggie and Glenn. Maggie covered her mouth as silent tears rolled down her cheeks and Glenn's face went red with sorrow as he held back his tears, Rick cried into his palms as he viciously wiped his face with them. They all mourned for their lost friend, Carol the most, she would never be the same after this.

Connor had, had enough. He heard Martinez tell Merle he shot Daryl. Merle had punched the shit out of him, cussing and yelling because the shit-head killed his baby brother. When the governor finally got them apart, they locked Merle in a room to cool down while Martinez told the governor what he did before being sent to the clinic to be checked over. Connor was over his head with this, the dick head shot Daryl. Who knew what Carol was doing right now, crying and in terriable hurt from the dispatch. He bowed his head as he took watch with Strumpet. The tougher man was offly quiet, he didn't seem to like the moves Martinez took either but what could they do. Connor sighed, "anything?"

Stumpet shook his head, "nope. Let's hope their isn't"

Connor silently agreed, "yeah. It's been a long day"

Strumpet looked at the man, "you do well by me. Don't turn into Martinez and believe I won't either"

Connor made eye contact and nodded "Ok. What he did was something that will never make it right. Why did the governor praise him for it?"

"Because he's a suck fucker" Strumpet growled, narrowing his eyes, "very sick and a helluva lot eviler that Martinez. He would of made it slow and painful. Be glad Martinez got to him first"

"But he wrecked the other prisoner's life forever" He grunted, sorrow filling him.

Strumpet nodded, "yeah. But he doesn't give a shit"

Connor mocked his nod before turning back to the task on hand. It was all too true, but he wished it wasn't.

A/N:: Ok, so I didn't give you much of a cliffhanger lifter but hey, you got to give it to me, I did well with the whole Carol Daryl thing going on. ;) I need to update Dusk to Dawn and then update Got a Problem? and THEN I will update this again...i'll try to get to it soon! woop woop, 3,379 words though...that ain't THAT short.

don't kill me, cliffhanger about Daryl's death still lingers...well kinda. Rescue group took too long sadly. :(

READ & REVIEW and Yazzy x you BETTER PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY. I know you have it, you sneaky lady. I love you girlie!