Secrets of a Matchmaker
Chapter 25 ~ Mon Dieu! (My God!)
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Noah's face was expressionless as he stared at the handout, but his skin had gone white. His eyes raced across the page once . . . twice . . . three times. He'd actually read the whole thing upon his first glance, but he simply couldn't accept what lay before him; it just couldn't be real.
"Where –," he croaked. "Where did you get this?"
"Chris e-mailed all of the employees, sir."
Noah stared at the maid, imploring her with his eyes to say it wasn't true. Take it back, he thought. Tell me it's just a practical joke. But the maid didn't have to reply; Noah knew that it was no joke.
He swallowed. "All of the employees, you said?"
"Y-yes."
"Would there be any chance of deleting the e-mail before any of them got it, or of encouraging them to look the other way?" he pressed.
The maid shook her head, looking positively distraught. "I-I'm afraid not," she stammered. "Most of the employees have already gotten the e-mail by now, and those that haven't know that there's something big waiting in their inbox. And s-some of them might be able to be persuaded to ignore it, but most are too scared of Chris."
Noah's heart sank. He'd known it secretly to be true, but he hadn't wanted to accept it – hadn't needed to accept it, until the maid had voiced his inner worries.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Noah demanded. Exasperated, he drew a palm over his face. "Cody's not ready to come out to his parents yet, let alone the whole world! Heck, I'm not even ready to come out to the whole world quite yet!"
"I-I'm sorry. I don't know," the maid whispered.
"Yeah, I know," Noah's lips twisted into a wry, pained smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"I'm sorry," the maid repeated.
Noah just nodded.
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Cody's entire face brightened the moment the door opened and Noah walked in. "Hey, Noah!" he greeted excitedly. "I'm working on some sparklers for everyone else to play with while we set up the fireworks display. But I can't decide what color to use . . . I mean, we're almost out of copper benzoate, so blue's out of the question . . ."
"Try colorless," Noah replied flatly. "Sparklers don't need much to be interesting."
Cody suddenly stilled, his smile faltering. Noah's tone was odd; it was softer than Cody had ever heard it before, as if he were trying to assure himself that everything was alright. The sparkle of humor was dead in Noah's eyes; his face was utterly expressionless. There was clearly something bothering Noah – and just as clearly, he was hesitant to voice it. But of course, Cody wasn't going to let him keep it to himself. Carefully, he set down the half-finished sparkler and turned to face Noah.
"Okay, so what happened?"
"Huh?" Too quickly, Noah arranged his face into an expression of bemusement. "What are you talking about?"
"C'mon, Noah, don't play dumb. I know that look."
Noah winced, but he didn't deny it. "I'll tell you later," he promised, turning away so that Cody wouldn't see the anxiety play across his face.
"No," Cody retorted "Tell me now."
"But –,"
"Tell me," he insisted.
"Fine," Noah finally sighed. He simply didn't have the strength to argue right now – and if he was going to be honest, he didn't have the strength to keep it to himself, either. As much as it would pain him to tell Cody that their efforts to stop Chris had been in vain, he didn't have a choice.
Noah took a deep breath. "Cody," he began. "I'm sorry, but . . . we didn't stop Chris. He had some backup somewhere, and he's having our kiss posted all over the Playa for the other campers to discover before he airs it on television." From behind his back, he proffered a copy of the e-mail, complete with the attached image – the image of their kiss.
Wordlessly, Cody took the paper and stared at it. For a moment, he didn't react – but as the true meaning of what Noah was saying sunk in, the blood drained from his face, and his eyes widened in shock. "We didn't –?"
"No, we didn't stop him. I'm sorry, Cody."
Cody swallowed and stared at his toes. "That blows," he murmured.
"I'd say that's an understatement."
Neither of them laughed.
After a moment, Cody glanced up. "Is there really no way to stop him?" he asked hopefully.
But Noah sighed and shook his head. "There isn't," he replied. "At least, not about posting it across the Playa. We might have some chance of stopping him from airing it with the final episode of Total Drama Island when we're spectators for the grand finale, but we're coming out to the twenty ex-campers and who knows how many employees here, whether we like it or not."
The very idea tied Cody's stomach into knots. It had been hard enough to come out to Noah, let alone the entirety of the island. And that wasn't even to mention that in the most probable situation, he was going to be exposed to the entire viewing nation – which he would never be ready for, not even if he lived a thousand years.
Something warm came across Cody's shoulders. He jumped in surprise, but when he glanced up, he found himself being pulled into Noah's arms. After a moment, he began to relax, letting his arms come up to hold Noah back. The hug wasn't just for himself, he knew; Noah needed it just as much as he did. Neither of them wanted to face the reality.
And yet they had to. Cody's grip tightened, drawing on the embrace for all it was worth. They had to face it; they could not escape.
"Noah," he murmured softly. "I have to tell my parents."
For a moment, Noah was silent. Cody could feel him stiffen slightly, when he finally replied, his tone was soft. "Are you sure?"
Cody nodded. "I have to."
"Okay."
Noah didn't have to say that he would be next to Cody the whole time; he didn't have to say he would take over if the conversation became too difficult. They both knew he would, as clearly as they knew that the coming days would be amongst the hardest in their lives.
Cody took a deep breath, steadying himself against Noah's embrace. "Give me a minute," he muttered. "And then let's get this over with."
"Of course."
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In the end, it took Cody a full five minutes to prepare himself mentally, but when he finally pulled away, it seemed that he could have used a little while longer. Concerned, Noah frowned at him.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Not really," Cody answered with a weak smile. "But as ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."
Noah nodded, understanding. "Do you want to call now?"
"Yeah . . . I can use my cell phone. If I wait until I get up to my room to use the landline, I might not be able to carry it out."
He certainly wouldn't have; his resolve was already wavering by the time he dug his cell phone out of his pocket. Cody swallowed, his fingers trembling as he dialed the number. He half wanted to chuck the cell phone across the room, to let his parents find out the truth through cable. He didn't want to face them, and they would have found out anyway. So why put himself through the stress? But, inwardly, Cody knew that it would be utterly unfair to brush his parents off like that – and by some miracle, he managed to finish punching in the number.
The line began to ring.
Cody's stomach was churning viciously. It felt as if centuries passed between rings, and, if Cody hadn't been frozen by nerves, he honestly would have hung up right then and there. He couldn't do it; he couldn't tell them.
Suddenly, Noah's arms were around him again, and Noah was whispering softly into his ear: "Don't be a dolt, Cody. You were so scared of telling Geoff and the others about your hypoglycemia – and did anything bad happen when you did?"
No, nothing had. Cody had expected jokes and ridicule; after all, none of the 'popular' kids he'd known ever had any kind of obvious physical setback. His own condition had been bound to bring in all kinds of teasing . . . except that it hadn't. In reality, no one had cared.
Cody's stomach calmed somewhat. His grip on the phone relaxed, and he smiled faintly, mouthing "Thank you" to Noah. Noah's lip twitched in response.
But Cody's heart still stopped in mid-beat when the other end suddenly picked up.
"Hello?" came his mother's voice, stern with her business-like tone.
"H-hey, Mom," Cody stammered. "It's me."
The effect was instantaneous. The coolness of her tone vanished, chased away by the radiating warmth of her sudden, maternal demeanor. She positively gushed in excitement: "Oh, Cody! I'm so glad you called. I've missed you so much lately . . . you haven't called us nearly as much as we would like."
"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I'll try to call more often."
"That's good. We worry, you know."
He did know; without their unwavering concern, without having known how much they did care for him, Cody wasn't sure if he would have been able to carry this out. He may not have ever found the courage to tell them, had they ever been any less supportive. His grip on the phone tightened as he absorbed her words like a lifeline.
"I-is Dad there?" he asked.
"Why, yes," his mother replied. "He just got home a little while ago. Why? Would you like to talk to him?"
"Kind of. Actually, can you put me on speaker phone? There's something I want to tell both of you."
At his words, Noah squeezed his shoulder in reassurance – and instinctively, Cody leaned against him.
"Speaker phone?" Cody's mother echoed. "Well, give me a moment. I'll bring him down here."
"Okay."
The other end clicked as the phone was set down, and Cody could hear his mother's footsteps fading into the distance. Otherwise, however, silence had fallen completely. Cody swallowed and struggled to calm his racing heart.
"Define 'antepenultimate'," Noah said suddenly.
Cody stared up at him, taken aback. Covering the mouthpiece of the phone, he replied: "What?"
"Just do it."
"Um. 'Ante-' . . . that means 'before'. 'Penultimate' is 'second-to-last' – so 'antepenultimate' must be 'third-to-last'."
"Good. And 'afterwit'?"
Suddenly, Cody understood what Noah was doing. As he mulled the words over in his head, he was slowly calming; his heart had stopped racing, and his thoughts were becoming more coherent. As the knot in his stomach began to lessen, Cody felt a sudden surge of affection towards Noah. "Wouldn't that be something like 'after knowledge'?" he asked.
"Yes. It's knowledge that comes too late to be of any use – usually from experience," Noah replied. "'Ambrosial'?"
"Something good, I'd guess."
"Quite. Specifically, of god-like taste or smell – from the mythological Greek 'ambrosia'."
"Oh, I should've –!"
But suddenly, Cody broke off with a wave of his hand. In the background, he could hear the tell-tale footsteps of his parents' approach.
"Hello, Cody?" his mother called. "We're here now. What did you want to tell us?"
He could hear the anxiety in her voice – but that was only to be expected. After all, it wasn't everyday he called home suddenly to ask to talk to both parents at the same time. Cody could only hope that she wouldn't find the situation to be all that grave. He inhaled deeply, steadying himself.
"Mom, Dad . . . I don't really know how to say this, but . . . I'm bisexual, and I have a boyfriend."
Noah's fingers dug into Cody's shoulder, but on the other end, his words were met with nothing but silence. Anxiety mounted in Cody's chest, and suddenly, it was becoming had to breathe.
"Cody?" It was his father this time.
"Yes, Dad?"
"How do you know? Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Cody answered, his voice almost a whisper by this point. "I know when I have a crush – and this time, I'm crushing on a boy."
More silence, and then his mother spoke up. "Cody, we trust you. We won't lie to you: this will take some getting used to on our part, but we won't question your judgment. We know you're a good boy."
"So, you're okay with it?"
"Of course we're okay with it. As I said, it will take some time before we completely accept it, but you're our son, Cody. You've never done anything to disappoint us."
Cody's throat tightened – from gratitude, or nerves, he wasn't quite sure. "Even – even with what they say in the Bible?"
"Well, do you think you're sinning?" his father asked, hardly missing a beat.
"I – well, no."
"Then, as your mother said, we trust you. After all, if we still followed everything the Bible said, women would still be property, right? Times have changed."
"Right," Cody muttered weakly. "Thank you."
"There's no need to thank us," his mother pointed out. "We love you, no matter what – and this doesn't change a thing. You're still our son."
"Thank- . . . I mean, I love you, too."
Cody's stomach was still churning with lingering anxiety, but it was lessened, and a sense of relief had settled over him. He grinned at Noah, offering him a thumbs-up. Noah just rolled his eyes.
"Told you so," he whispered.
"So," Cody's mother was saying. "Who is your . . . boyfriend?"
Cody could hear the hesitation in her voice as she struggled to get out the words, but he felt his heart lighten nevertheless in gratitude of her efforts. As she'd reminded him earlier, it would take a while for them to be fully-comfortable with this information – and the fact that they were trying so hard made Cody feel extremely optimistic.
He smiled slightly. "Do you remember Noah?" he asked. "He was the third person to be voted off – he couldn't get his nose out of his books long enough to participate in any physical challenges."
Noah glared at him sulkily, but Cody just rolled his eyes. You know it's true, he mouthed. Noah did not reply.
"Oh, him?" Cody's mother said after a moment. "Well, he seemed like a very bright boy."
Cody didn't miss the fact that she left out his apparent friendly demeanor – or rather, lack thereof. At the same time, however, it didn't bother him. In fact, a small smile tugged at his lips; he knew his mother, and he knew Noah. The two would get along perfectly – what, with their aloof manners, high esteem of intellectual abilities, and love of a good argument, they were truly kindred spirits. But, of course, Cody knew neither would ever confess their full approval of the other; they would both say the other was simply: "nice". The thought amused Cody deeply.
"Yes, he's very smart," Cody replied. "Actually, he's right here. Would you like to talk to him?"
A pause. Then: "No, not right now, Cody. Maybe another day, but I think that would be too much for your father and I. We're still trying to take all this in."
"I understand." To Noah, who was watching him expectantly, Cody shook his head. Noah shrugged, but Cody could sense he was a little put-out that he didn't get to talk to his parents. Noah always did like to make an impression.
"That's good, dear," his mother said. "And thank you very much for telling us – it means so much."
"Yeah, I know. That's why I called."
"Cody," his father suddenly broke in. "I know that this may not be the best time, but do you mind calling back later? I'm waiting for a call from work."
"What? Dear, he only just called!" Cody's mother sounded positively aghast.
But Cody smiled, in both understanding and amusement at his mother's reaction. "No, Mom, it's fine. I'll call you back tomorrow."
"But Cody –!"
"Really, it's fine."
She heaved a heavy sigh. "Boys. Well, alright. But you swear you'll call back first thing tomorrow morning?"
"Of course," he promised.
"Take care, then. I love you, Cody."
"Love you, too, Mom. I'll talk to you guys later. I love you, Dad."
Cody's dad coughed. "Right. Love you, too, son."
The line clicked dead.
Cody glanced up at Noah, his heart light although it still raced with lingering nerves. For a moment, he said nothing. But then a broad smile spread across his face, and he laughed aloud: "They accepted us, Noah! They're okay with it!"
"What did I tell you, braniac?" Noah retorted, but he returned Cody's excited embrace nevertheless.
"Fine; you were right. Happy now?"
"Quite."
Cody rolled his eyes. "Arrogant jerk. Okay, so I've done my part. When are you going to call your parents?"
"Whatever for? Remember, they knew I was gay before I knew what the word meant."
"Because," Cody explained, sounding a little exasperated. "You are going to be aired on national television kissing me. And even if it weren't, don't you think it would be considered common courtesy to tell your parents when you get a boyfriend?"
"As if they'd be able to remember your name. No offense, of course – it's just that with nine children, it's quite difficult for them to remember who's dating whom."
"Sure. You're still telling them, Noah."
Noah wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Come on, Cody. Don't make me do this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell nine overzealous siblings plus in-laws, nephews, nieces, and what-not that I finally have a boyfriend? I'd be drowning in the excitement."
"They'd find out anyway via Chris."
"Yeah, but at least this way I can ward off the storm a little longer," Noah countered.
"Coward."
"Hey, I didn't push you to come out to your parents."
"But this is different," Cody replied calmly. "I didn't want to for fear of rejection; my parents are devout Christians, after all. You, on the other hand, are simply being anti-social."
Noah opened his mouth to retort something heatedly, but before he could get the words out, he stopped. Cody was right. "Fine," he sulked. "But I'm calling tomorrow. You can at least give me that."
"Tomorrow," Cody agreed.
"Great. Now why don't we finish those sparklers you were working on? We only have a couple days left."
"Actually . . ." Cody grinned sheepishly at Noah, uncertainly rubbing the back of his head. "I'm still feeling kinda jittery about having come out to my parents and all. I thought maybe I could go take a walk on my own for a bit? Just to calm down."
Noah shrugged. Some boyfriends might be offended that Cody didn't want to stay around him in order to calm down, but not Noah. He knew better than anyone that sometimes solitude was the best medicine. "Don't let me stop you. I'll be here, though, until nine. Then I'll be up in my room, and if you want to play videogames, stop by anytime."
"Thanks. See you, then."
"Later."
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Cody found himself in the dining room, alone amongst the remains of the buffet. He eyed it hungrily – but the hunger came not from his stomach at all. His feet were sore from his wanderings, and he was utterly fatigued from the long day. Perhaps, he thought, a small 'midnight' snack couldn't hurt. It could even serve to soothe his mind.
Cody grabbed a plate and began to heap onto it a small serving of salad.
Well, coming out to his parents hadn't been nearly so bad as he had expected. There had been shock, yes, and his parents couldn't quite fully accept it quite yet, but that was far better than anything he'd dared hope for. He'd been expecting some full-blown rejection; he'd been certain they demand he repent and change, to try to convince him through their tears that he was making a horrible mistake. Cody smiled grimly to himself. He really had to give his parents more credit.
Regardless, the experience had been nerve-wracking. Even with Noah at his side the whole time, he hadn't quite been able to calm his heart or fill the pit that had become his stomach. He could barely breathe during the entirety of the conversation. Even now, he was still a little high-strung.
At least it was over, he admitted to himself. That hurdle was done with . . . now, all he had to focus on was coming out to the entire nation.
Cody's knees went weak.
How on earth was he supposed to do that – to confess to every homophobe of the viewing audience: "yes, I'm gay!"? How could he expose himself to the inevitable hatred and harassment? He'd have to face friends back home who would never forgive him for not having told them beforehand; he'd have to deal with insecure bullies heckling him in the hallways. There'd be another stereotype ever which way he turned, and, God, it would be worse that simply coming out to the school, because he would have come out to the whole nation. Even in college, people would recognize him as 'the gay guy from Total Drama Island'.
Cody groaned, holding his face in his hands. He'd worried about this reality once before, when he'd been paranoid about confessing to Noah. When it turned out he'd been wrong, his sense of relief was simply indescribable, it was so profound. And yet – his nightmares from back then were cruelly becoming his reality.
He let his eyes wander over the buffet table, trying to calm himself down. It'll be okay, he told himself as he stared unseeingly at the pasta. It was okay when Noah let slip about your hypoglycemia. It was okay when you came out to your parents. But Cody knew that this time, it would be different. Even if one reaction was okay, the next might not, or the next. Millions of people would be watching the film; there couldn't be a million positive reactions. His gaze drifted over the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the drinks. Just don't think about it.
Finally, his gaze settled on the desert table. He stared at the chocolate cake blankly, utterly desolate. That's right; if I don't think about it, I can handle it. He inhaled deeply. Let it come as it will.
Suddenly, his gaze locked on the chocolate cake, as if seeing it for the first time.
Noah would never approve, he knew. But his nerves were frayed, and he would never be able to handle any sort of added stress in his present state. He needed to calm down. And besides, it wasn't even as if his diabetic diet was an absolute necessity – as Noah had confessed himself, it was only a precaution. Right now, Cody needed nothing more than to chase away his stress, and being cautious was the least of his priorities. That chocolate cake would do the trick – after all, what Noah didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
Cody pushed aside the remains of his uneaten salad and approached the buffet table.
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. . . What really scares me about this chapter is that if I hadn't been lazy and chosen to read or play the Sims instead of write, I could have finished this chapter in a day. Wow. Maybe I am ready for NaNoWriMo. XD
Constructive criticism, as always, is loved. And if you do praise the chapter, please be specific – what scenes exactly did you like? Any lines? How were the characterization, themes, and techniques? If you leave a lengthy review, or ask any questions (and have signed in), I promise I will reply.
~KiraKira-Kirimi