I am super sorry for the long wait for the new chapter I was having a hard time starting this one and then for the last week I was in Utah, as we speak I am in the airport waiting for my flight home. In the coming weeks I am leaving the country until December. I'm going to study abroad in Italy so I'm not sure if I can still access this over there if I can I will be able to update if not I will have to stop the story somewhere and continue later. Anyway enjoy and review.
The rest of the week went by with no real drama to speak of and soon the time came for the extended Cabot clan to head to their respective homes. Michael, Allison and the children had left early in the morning as they had pressing plans waiting for them back at home. The rest of the family was going to be filtering out of the house throughout the day, but for the time being they were all finishing breakfast together. The younger kids were outside playing, leaving the adults to sit and relax in the kitchen and enjoy the fleeting moments of their vacation. Kim was telling Olivia embarrassing stories of Alex from when they were young.
"So Alex decided it would be funny to take a picture of me and my boyfriend kissing on the couch and show it to mom and dad. Well I figured I was already grounded I may as well get revenge so one afternoon Alex went for a swim and as she was showering in the pool house bathroom I went in and took her clothes and all the towels and blankets. So needless to say when she got out of the shower she found herself to be rather exposed. She tried to cover herself up and she ran to the back door and tried to get in, but of course I had locked it and the front door. So not knowing that, she ran around the front of the house and started banging on the door and did not look around to see if anyone is starring at her. Well, after a few minutes she finally turns around to see our gardener standing there with a very shocked expression on his face."
Alex had her head buried in her hands, her face beet red from embarrassment. Olivia was laughing hysterically.
"Kim did you really have to tell that story."
"Yes I did. She is your partner Alex she deserves full disclosure of how much of a pain in the ass you used to be."
Olivia stood up from the table and kissed Alex on her flushed cheek, "you're cute when you get all upset and flustered."
"Well if you thought that was cute, I have to tell you about when she was 16 …"
"Kim doesn't Keith need help packing up the car?"
"Fine I'll go, besides there is always thanksgiving to tell Liv all sorts of other stories." Kim left the table and went outside to assist her husband in packing up the car and almost as soon as she left Matthew started to cry and before anyone could move Olivia was already running down the hallway toward the crying infant and soon the house was silent again. Everyone smiled and Astrid was the first to say something, "that lady of yours has serious skills Alex."
"Magic touch, I'm going to go help her pack up the baby." Alex walked down the hallway and stopped at the doorway and watched Olivia cradle the now silent infant. Alex walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around Olivia and Matthew.
"Anyone ever tell you that you look really good with a baby in your arms."
"Just you."
"Well you do, you're a natural." Alex paused for a moment, "you ever think of having some of your own?"
Olivia put the baby down in his car seat, "I have my reservations about what kind of mother I would be, but I want to have kids, under one condition."
Alex smiled, "oh really and that condition is what?"
Olivia walked over gave Alex a kiss and smiled, "that I have them with you."
With a goofy grin plastered on her face Alex followed Liv out of the room with the car seat in hand. Both women walked out to the front yard and helped Kim load up their car with the last few bags and after securely strapping Matthew into the car seat Kim turned around to say goodbye to her sister.
"If I promise not to invite mother can I assume I will see you at Thanksgiving this year, both of you?"
"I'm already looking forward to it and as far as I can tell Liv hasn't made any other plans for us." Alex hugged her sister close to her and when it became clear she had to leave, she reluctantly let go. "Call me when you guys get home."
Kim assured her sister she would and she walked over to Olivia and gave her the same hug she had just given Alex. "You take good care of my baby sister ok, I want you both to live to see the holidays. If you think we're crazy now wait until we have a calendar holiday to celebrate, last Christmas we ran out of vodka"
"Well I would hate to miss that so I'll see what I can do, but no promises." Kim left Olivia side and got into the passenger side of the car. After blowing a few more kisses the car was out of sight and Alex and Olivia slowly made their way back into the house. Over the next hour the remainder of Alex's family slowly filtered in their cars, packing up their families and preparing to head home. The last to leave was Emily, Tom and Samantha. As Tom finished packing up the car, Emily and Samantha busied themselves saying goodbye to Alex and Olivia.
Emily hugged Alex one last time, "thank you, I know that this drama isn't exactly what you had planned for your vacation, but we wouldn't have gotten through this without your help Alex. We owe you big time."
"You don't owe me anything, your family and on the plus side at least things weren't dull. I think you guys will figure it out in time, you raised her right, she'll be fine." A few feet away Olivia was saying goodbye to Samantha in much the same fashion.
"Now you know where Alex and I live, but if you ever need anything, even if you just want to talk to someone you call me ok." Olivia handed her business card to the teenager and hugged her.
"Thank you, for everything I guess, you were every bit as awesome as Alex said you were."
"Does that mean I have your seal of approval?"
"Absolutely, she's got it bad for you Liv and she is happy so as far as I am concerned everything is great. I should go before we run into traffic." With one final hug, Sam climbed into the back seat and soon the last of the family was gone leaving just Alex and Olivia alone in the house.
Olivia looked at Alex, "so what do we do now?"
Alex smiled, "you still want to learn more about me from when I was younger?" Before she could answer, Alex grabbed Olivia's hand and led her into the living room. Alex went to the shelf next to the TV and grabbed an old VHS tape, one of many that bore her name and popped it into the player. She joined Olivia on the couch and snuggled into Olivia's side. Soon the video started and it showed a five year old Alex running around outside at what appeared to be her birthday party. Soon from off camera a rather tall man came over to her and scooped her up in his arms. She giggled and laughed, which made him smile. Soon the camera cut to Alex sitting in a chair trying to blow out her candles. Once again the man who Olivia could only assume was her father came from off screen and helped her blow them out. The majority of the video was footage of that day, but at the end was a few minutes of Alex dancing on her father's shoes. Olivia was truly touched that Alex wanted to share that memory with her, but when she looked over at Alex silent tears fell down her cheeks. Olivia brushed away the last few stray tears before pulling Alex closer to her.
"Alex, honey talk to me."
"I thought it was supposed to hurt less the more time someone has been dead, but it's like every year it only hurts more that he's gone."
"Baby I'm sorry. Do you mind if I ask how long he's been gone?"
"12 years today."
Olivia head dropped, "baby why didn't you say it was the anniversary of his death?"
"Because I thought that because now that I have you, maybe I wouldn't miss him as much as I do or maybe it would hurt less, but clearly I was wrong."
"Tell me about him."
"Why?"
"Because maybe talking about him, reminding yourself that while he may not be here you still are a part of him may help ease the pain a little. So tell me about him."
"He was born in New York, raised here too. He told me once that when he was young he told himself he never wanted to live anywhere else; that he would grow up, raise a family and die here. He said there was something about New York that was magical and when I asked what was so special about this one state, he smiled and said that one day I would find everything I ever wanted in this state and I guess he was right." Alex squeezed Olivia hand and let a few tears fall from her eyes. Olivia brushed them away and Alex continued.
"He worked hard, always wanted to be the DA, but he said there are some dreams in life that your children are meant to fulfill for you. He was a brilliant attorney, always fought until someone got some kind of justice. Dark blonde hair, blue eyes, strong chiseled facial features, he was kind and warm and he always made me feel safe and wanted and loved."
"Sounds like you take after him in more than just looks." Alex finally smiled. "Alex, it's ok to miss him, he loved you and supported you your whole life and losing that bond is hard. Crying for him doesn't make you crazy or weak or anything, it just means that you loved him."
"I did love him, I still do. You know when I was a little girl I asked him what happened when people died. He sat me in his lap and told me that when people die they become stars in the sky. I didn't understand so he explained to me that when people die they become stars so that they can always watch over the people they leave behind. I said that stars go away in day time and he laughed and said that they don't go away, just because they can't be seen doesn't mean they aren't there. He called them invisible guardians. You probably think I'm nuts holding on to some childish story."
"No, I think you are anything but crazy. You still believe in that story because it gives you peace and it reminds you that he is still watching out for you and that he is still a part of you." Both women stayed in that position for hours after that, holding on to each other and talking about their childhoods and growing up. Alex was surprised that talking about her father and telling stories about him made her feel better.
"Liv can I ask you a question?"
"That was a question."
"Funny, seriously, do you have any happy memories about your mom?"
Without missing a beat Liv looked at Alex, "I could ask you the same question."
"I'll answer if you do."
Liv sighed, "there aren't many of them, but I have enough to hold on to. From the time I was seven until she died when she was drunk she never called me by my name, she would call me Phoenix. One day I asked her why she called me that when she was drunk and she said that even though she was drunk she wanted me to know that she still loved me."
"So why Phoenix?"
Olivia allowed a single tear fall from her eyes "Phoenix birds live for anywhere to 500 to 1000 years and when they near the end of their life it builds a nest of twigs and stuff like that and when it is ready to die it settles into the nest and it sets itself on fire. It burns until there is nothing but ashes and from those ashes rises a new young phoenix. From the greatest pain and destruction comes an innocent, proud and strong new life. My mother said that I was her Phoenix because I was what was born out of her greatest pain." Olivia tears were slowly trickling down her face as she finished speaking and Alex leaned over and kissed her. "You are my Phoenix too."
"Kind of sad that I'm in my 30's and all I have are a handful of good memories of my mother."
"It's better then what I have baby."
"You don't even have a handful?"
"I have one. One moment in my entire life where my mother and I had a genuine moment. I was ten and my dad was working late and there was a storm that knocked out the power and I ran into my parents' room scared and looking for my dad to comfort me. When I saw he wasn't there my mother told me to climb into bed with her so I did. She asked what was wrong and I told her that the storm scarred me and she stroked my hair and told me that was impossible Cabot women weren't afraid of anything. She then told me about all the women in our family and how they were strong and what they overcame in their lives and by the time she was done I was feeling better so I got up to leave. Before I walked out the door I asked her if she thought I would ever be that strong and she sat up in the bed and said 'Alexandra, you already are."
"That really beautiful Alex and it shows that she does love you."
"No she loved me, past tense, in her eyes I'm not worthy of the Cabot name. Honestly even if she never comes around, I'm perfectly happy spending my life with you and my family that loves me."
"Promise me something."
"Anything."
"Keep an open mind, just give your mom one more chance to come around. I couldn't make peace with my mother until it was too late, please don't make my mistake. Just one more chance and if she blows it, we write her out of our lives forever, but give her one last chance."
"This is important to you isn't it?"
"You being happy is important to me."
"Then you have me word that I will give her one last chance, but I pick when I give it to her."
"Deal. Now I don't know about you, but thanks to all this crying I now have a splitting headache so how about we go see if there is so ice cream in the kitchen."
"How is that going to help your headache?"
"Who said it would help, I'm just hungry."