Chapter 25: Blood guts and humans

'I would give my life to be human' – Human, Ellie Goulding

Sorry for such a huge delay. It's been over a month and I feel terribly guilty about it. I've been busy and I'm not going to go and rant about how sorry I am because it couldn't be helped. I promise it won't be this long again. Hope you enjoy this next chapter Remember to review!

Jacob picked me up from the bathroom floor and carried me back to bed. I curled up cosily in his lap, basking in the overwhelming magical news. Jake's hand made its way to my stomach where it rested gently.

'This is so incredible, you're so amazing' he whispered, brushing his lips softly across the top of my head.

'I love you, you're the very best thing in my life' I told him

'You're the only thing in my life worth living for' he said quietly, tilting my face upward for an upside down kiss. I smiled against his lips.

'You're so sweet'

'Sweet?' he laughed 'I'm not a toddler'

'Soon we'll have our own little toddler' I pointed out

'I know' he grinned, rubbing my belly.

'I hope he looks just like you' I said

'He?' he smiled

I blushed, 'well I don't know yet but I think it'll be a boy'

'Well I think it will be a girl' he said 'beautiful just like you'

I smiled and kissed him.

'When do you want to tell your family?' he asked

'I'm not sure' I whispered, cuddling into his side 'I don't think they'll be happy because were not married yet'

'You mean your dad won't be happy?' Jacob corrected

I nodded. Daddy had very traditional values and being married before children was definitely one of them.

'Well why don't we ask Alice to just move the date of the wedding up to as soon as possible and then tell them after?' Jacob suggested, running his fingers lightly through my hair.

'You think we'd be able to do that?' I asked

'I don't see why not' he said

'Okay' I was a little bit unsure

'Everything will be fine' Jacob said to me 'don't worry that pretty little head of yours, you need to be stress free and off your feet'

'You're not putting me on house arrest are you?' I laughed

'Not quite yet, perhaps when you start to show but I still don't want you exerting yourself in anyway okay?' he said, tilting my head up for a long sweet kiss. I nodded against his lips.

'God I love you' he whispered 'you're so perfect'

'You're more perfect' I countered

'As soon as were married Nessie, I'd like to move in to our house' he said to me somewhat nervously 'I want to start our life together, I want us to get settled in'

I smiled and ran my fingers up and down his chest soothingly.

'That's what I want to Jacob; I want to move in as soon as possible, I want to plan my pregnancy, I want to get everything ready for the baby'

He was kissing my neck softly and murmuring sweet and endearing notes into my ear. He told me how wonderful he thought I was and how much he loved me. He told me how perfect I was and that he couldn't wait for me to be his wife and that he loved me more than his own life. I told him how in love I was with him and it went on like that for a few hours. We were just wrapped up in each other's arms perfectly content just being there with one another. It was a peaceful and tender moment. We relished and basked in the amazing news and at a time it became too overwhelming and I started to cry. Jacob held me and soothed me and told me that I was going to be the best mother in the whole world. I cried as I thanked him for giving this to me, for loving me, for marrying me. We really were two halves of a whole and if we weren't together then we couldn't function properly. I'll love him until the day the stars fall from the sky and crash and burn. And probably after that too.

When it was starting to get dark my family arrived home. We'd threw out all of the pregnancy tests except for the first one I'd taken. I hid it in one of my drawers in my closet. I wanted it as a keepsake. The very first time I found out that I was pregnant. Jacob and I had agreed to keep it a secret until we were married. I wanted to keep it that way anyway. Plus the news was still raw and a little overwhelming and I didn't know if I could handle all of the craziness and hype that would come with it right now. I definitely wanted to wait a little while. I knew I could pull it off, I just hoped Jacob could. Momma was used to shielding Jacob most of the time now. Using her gift had become second nature for her. It was easy as breathing. I just hoped that when she wasn't here however, Jake would be able to control his thoughts. He told me that he could. I trusted him. When we went downstairs that evening for dinner daddy looked at me with questioning eyes and I quickly shook my head before looking back down to my plate and eating. I didn't like lying to him but he understood and I knew he wouldn't press any further. He thought that I wasn't pregnant and he'd make sure none of my family questioned me on it or asked me anything about it. After dinner, Jacob went outside to play ball with my uncles and I went over to Aunt Alice who was sitting on the couch cutting out different laces and trims, mixing and matching them all before frowning and starting over again.

'Hey Aunt Alice' I smiled, sitting down next to her

'Renesmee' she smiled 'I'm just looking at what kind of lace were going to have on your dress, none of these are really cutting it though' she said scrunching up her face

'Well the wedding is what I wanted to talk to you about' I told her

She put the fabrics down and turned to face me listening.

'I was wondering, if you could, if you would be able to move up the date of the wedding?' I asked

'Move it up?' she asked surprised 'how soon to?'

'I was thinking late June' I said, gritting my teeth, preparing for her shock.

Her eyes widened in alarm and I swear she started to hyperventilate

'But Nessie, it's the first of June tomorrow' she told me

'I know but I really want to get married sooner' I said

'What's the rush? I don't think I can book the hotel in England for then'

'That's fine' I told her 'I was changing my mind anyway. I was thinking we'd just have our wedding back in Forks, maybe on the beach, I think it would mean a lot more to Jacob and I to get married at home.'

She narrowed her eyes at me.

'You're going to be the death of me Renesmee Carlie Cullen' she huffed

'Pretty please, with sugar and candy on top' I said, batting my eyelashes

She studied me for a moment before rolling her eyes.

'Fine' she said

I hugged her tightly and said thank you into her ears over and over again

'It's only because I started preparations for this wedding way early Mrs' she warned 'there's still a ton to do, we have to get the invitations out literally tomorrow' she sighed

'Well then it's a good job you don't need sleep' I said to her 'and that you never get tired'

'Hah ha' she said rolling her eyes

'I love you Aunt Alice, I have no idea what I'd do without you' I told her seriously. Honestly I didn't.

'Anything for you Renesmee' she smiled sweetly

Later that night as I was falling to sleep I felt Jacob's hand slide down and rest gently on my lower stomach. I turned around in his arms and smiled up at him. He kissed the tip of my nose and whispered into my ear.

'Take your clothes off'

I looked at him with surprised eyes. He just nodded. My family were downstairs, what if we were loud again? He didn't seem to care. And in that blissful moment neither did I.

I quickly removed my shorts and underwear and pyjama top discarding them on the floor. In one quick motion Jacob was on top of me kissing down my body softly. He wasted no time in entering me swiftly causing me to moan out loud. I gripped his shoulders dragging my nails across his back.

'I love you so much' he murmured quietly into my ear

'I love you' I sighed

Jacob made love to me so slowly and so tenderly that night, it made me cry on a number of occasions in between. He whispered how much he loved and adored me into my ear over and over again. His touches on my delicate skin were so soft, so gentle. He caressed my body like a temple, worshipped it like a God or a piece of art. The final thought in my mind that night as I drifted off into a peaceful slumber was that I couldn't believe I was going to have a life, have a child, with the man I loved more than anything in the world, who held me dear in his arms.

I woke in the morning with a pitiful ache in the pit of my stomach. Jacob awoke with me and he held my hair as I emptied the contents of my dinner into the toilet. He stroked my face when I was finished and made me drink two whole glasses of water before carrying me back to bed and settling me in.

'I hear that the morning sickness will stop being so bad after your early stages of pregnancy' he murmured as he ran his fingers through my hair and held me close to him.

'I hope so' I croaked out 'it's pretty bad'

'I wish I could make it stop' he said sadly. His eyes were pained.

'Don't' I told him 'don't feel guilty, this is a blessing Jacob, unfortunately it's just one of the side effects that come along with it but it's proof, it's evidence that we have a baby growing inside of me'

He had to smile at that one.

Grandma Esme called us down about an hour later. The smell of eggs, French toast and bacon wafting through the house had my mouth watering. I couldn't get enough of good food lately. I ate it down quickly not even bothering to wait for it to cool. It was so good.

'I think I should take you hunting' Jacob said to me, after I'd finished as he swiped his knuckle underneath my eyes.

'I'm not very thirsty' I told him

'Were going to hunt Renesmee' he told me 'don't argue, you're pale'

I relented and after thanking Grandma Esme for the delicious breakfast I went upstairs to get changed and shower.

'Why are you making me hunt?' I complained to Jacob once we were out in the woods.

'All that sickness, it makes you weaker and pale' he said to me 'I've noticed of course that when you hunt, a pink glow a beautiful blush returns to your cheeks. You need to stay healthy Nessie.'

I pouted. I didn't feel very thirsty however I guessed that he was right. I had to stay healthy for my baby but I did feel weary about hunting. What if I fell or something or an animal got a lucky swipe as was often the case with the larger ones. I pressed my hand to Jacob, voicing my concerns.

'You're not actually going to hunt' he said, as if it was a completely absurd idea 'you're going to sit nice and prettily by a tree whilst I go and hunt for you and put it into this little cup and bring it back to you.'

He held up a little flask I didn't even notice he had picked up from the house. I sighed in relief. I should have known Jacob wouldn't make me hunt. I just had to come to keep up the pretence. As instructed, I sat by a tree and waited until Jacob came back with a cup filled with elk blood. I scrunched up my nose. I'm pregnant! I could of at least used a mountain lion.

'Sorry' he apologised 'it's all they had; I didn't want to leave you alone for too long'

'It's okay'

I took the cup and drank it all in one succession. I was wiping my mouth when my stomach started to churn and immediately a waterfall of scarlet escaped my lips as I threw up onto the dense forest floor.

'Nessie!' Jacob exclaimed

He immediately brought me upright and held my hair as I vomited. When I was finished, I was panting heavily as I collapsed back into his chest. I felt like absolute hell. I'd never felt so ill in my life. He wiped my face with his shirt and cradled me gently as I got my breath back.

'I'm so sorry Nessie' he whispered, kissing my face softly

'S'not your fault' I murmured

'It is, I'm not taking better care of you, I thought this would make you better' he sounded almost as if he was on the verge of crying

I ran my hands up and down his arms tenderly trying to comfort him but I was too weak. I pressed my hand to him to show him that he'd been doing a brilliant job.

'Was there something wrong with the blood?' he asked, panicked

'No, it was too…animal' I tried to find the correct expression for it 'it tasted horrid, I think I need something closer to human' I said quietly

Without even thinking he brought his wrist up to my mouth and urged me to drink.

I pushed it away weakly. Was he crazy? Yes, he was. No matter how appealing my Jacob ever smelled I'd vowed to never harm him in anyway shape or form since the very first time I met him. He was not a wild animal I could just sink my teeth into. He was my fiancé, the father of my child, my lover and everything else in between. He was the single most important thing in my whole entire life, not something to drink from.

'I can't' I said 'you're a lunatic'

'You can't kill me if that's what you're worried about' he said gently 'I just want you to be better, please Renesmee, please just drink'

'I can't' I cried 'I can't hurt you, you're not to be drank from, a werewolf opening his veins to a half vampire, it's absurd' I wished to be human more than anything in that moment. If I was human I wouldn't have to drink blood. My fiancé wouldn't be sat here offering up his veins. I'd never felt so inhuman in my life than in this moment.

'No, it's a fiancé opening his veins to the girl he loves more than anything in the world to help her get better and keep their unborn child alive' he said, his eyes serious and intense, 'now drink'

He practically forced his wrist into my mouth and I bit down immediately out of instinct.

Warm blood, so rich, so potent, so heavy and satisfying poured into my mouth. It was the single most amazing flavour I'd ever tasted in my entire life so far. I drank, using my hands to hold onto his wrist securely. I pushed away after a moment, determined not to take too much. I closed my eyes, flavouring the taste. A few moments passed and I concluded I was not about to throw up again. Jacob brushed his fingers underneath my eyes and across my cheekbones.

'You're glowing again' he murmured, brushing his lips across mine softly

I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with such love and adoration that I just couldn't help but smile.

I brought his face to mine for a sweet kiss before checking his wrist. It was already healing. I ran my tongue over the wound once before kissing it better several times.

'Did it hurt?' I whispered

'No' he smiled 'if we were in bed I think it might have actually turned me on' he winked

I laughed and kissed him again.

Jake suggested we go back after a few more minutes. Daddy eyes us both suspiciously and I narrowed my eyes at him.

Emmett looked at me before bursting out into laughter. My dad glared and hissed at him and Grandma Esme tutted disapprovingly in a very motherly fashion.

'Sorry Edward' he choked between laughs 'but I just can't help it, they're like freaking rabbits!'

I glared at him and threw the nearest thing to me; a book right at his stupid head.

'I went hunting you idiot, we did nothing in the woods!' I shouted

'Okay Nessie' he laughed 'sure you didn't'

'I didn't!' I yelled. I stormed straight upstairs, grabbing the suitcase from my closet and throwing clothes into them in rapid succession.

Jacob came in and grabbed me around the waist.

'Running away?' he said, the smirk plain and clear on his face

'This isn't funny Jacob' I snapped 'it's ridiculous, getting accused of things just for going hunting! I'm sick of this spying nosy interfering family! I want to go and live in our own house'

'So do I' he assured me 'but now is not the time, you know it's not furnished and were waiting until were married' he said gently.

'Well I'm still sick of it' I said slumping down onto the floor

'They don't mean any harm Nessie; it's just a bit of fun'

'It's not fun' I said indignantly 'it's embarrassing for my family to think we were rolling around having sex on the forest floor'

He laughed and I glared at him.

'Jacob Black this is not funny' I warned

'I can't wait to move in though' he grinned 'I can't wait to decorate our baby's room'

My mouth formed a perfect O shape and I heard the whole room downstairs go still. I looked at Jacob the same time he looked at me.

Oh crap.

We waited in silence until my dad's voice broke through the invisible silent wall.

'Renesmee could you please come downstairs' he said calmly.

I looked to Jacob whose eyes were filled with the deepest regret and shame. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. I got up and walked down the stairs, my head held high. I don't care if they found out. This was nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. I was pregnant with the love of my life's child and I'd never been happier.

'I think you've got some explaining to do' my mom said

'Were having a baby' Jacob said, appearing at my side suddenly out of nowhere. He grabbed my hand tightly. He said it with confidence and power.

'And there's no need to hide it' he added

My dad lunged for Jacob but Emmett and Jasper held him back.

'You got my eighteen year old daughter pregnant right before she goes to college?!' my mother thundered

'Are you out of your freaking mind, you bastard! and you, knocked up at seven years old!' my dad roared

'Calm down' Grandma Esme chastised

I looked around at the faces of my family members. Faces of pain and hurt and rage. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

'You know' I said quietly 'when I went down to La Push and Rachel announced that she was pregnant, there was practically a party. Everybody congratulated her and clapped and it was so fun. I should have expected this reaction from my own family and nothing more. I mean you already ruined my proposal from Jacob when I announced it. Why did I expect this to be any different? You always ruin everything for me. I hate the fact that I'm not human but what I hate even more is that I was born into this hateful family.'

I rushed out of the room crying hysterically. Even Jacob couldn't console me. I cried for hours. I wish I wasn't born. Would they rather see me hurt, not being able to get pregnant than happy with a baby? Didn't they see that my time was limited?

Jacob cried too after seeing me so distraught. After a few hours he grabbed hold of my face and looked into my eyes intensely.

'This isn't good for the baby' he said harshly 'stop it right now'

'I can't' I breathed between sobs 'they ruined everything'

'They are so sorry Nessie, they're so sorry, they regret everything.'

I eventually stopped crying. But this couldn't be fixed so easily. Their reaction to this miracle, this amazing news had actually devastated me.

My own father had referred to my pregnancy as being 'knocked up.' How dare he? My mother had told me that Jacob had gotten her eighteen year old daughter pregnant right before she went to college. Didn't that describe her own story perfectly? It should not have really surprised me. She was notorious for being the biggest hypocrite in the world and my father's reaction shouldn't have surprised me either. My family didn't exactly like babies, I mean apart from momma and Aunt Rose they'd all wanted me aborted. But still, it crushed me all the same. I was going to get furniture delivered to my house tomorrow and move in. I couldn't stay here another second. Jacob needed to understand that. He came back into my room later that night with a sandwich in his hand which he practically force fed me. He handed me a note from my parents which I refused to read.

'Were leaving tomorrow' I told him seriously

'Okay' he replied.

I shifted to look up at him. I glared at him.

'What?' I said bitterly

'I said ok' he said 'you call the shots Nessie; if you want to leave then we'll leave'

'Why are you being like this?' I cried

'What do you want me to do Nessie? I'm just agreeing with you, I don't know what to do anymore, you've been crying for the past four hours I'm just doing what you say'

'Does it not hurt you what they said about our baby?' I practically yelled 'doesn't it bother you in the slightest or don't you care?'

'Of course I care Renesmee' he growled 'but I expected it. I mean you're young and you were supposed to be going to college, of course they'll be angry but I also know that this is a miracle, this is a blessing and aside from imprinting on you it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know that they'll come around eventually and when they do they will be the happiest and proudest and most supportive family you could ever ask for. No matter how much they irritate me I cannot deny that they love you more than anything.'

I slumped back down onto my bed as I let his words absorb and wash over me.

He was right. But I wasn't ready to feel bad about it. They were still in the wrong.

After a restless sleep I stormed downstairs grabbing a box of cereal which Grandma tried to wrestle from my hands.

'Sit down dear, don't exert yourself, I'll do that for you'

She gently placed her hand on my stomach and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

'You have to take it easy for the precious baby' she said softly.

A feeling of warmth and comfort washed over me. The gentle calmness of my Grandma somehow finally soothed me. I sat down at the kitchen island as she poured me a huge bowl of chocolate cereal.

'You're eating for two now' she smiled, sitting down opposite me 'how are you feeling today?'

'I didn't have any morning sickness today' I told her 'I feel a lot better'

'I could hear you crying last night' she said sadly 'do not cry my sweet Renesmee, it makes my heart hurt.'

'I couldn't help it' I mumbled 'nobody was happy for me Grandma' I could feel myself getting choked up again.

'Oh sweetheart they were, just surprised is all and we all know that my son has a tendency to overreact. You should have heard your aunts last night. Alice was busy getting wedding plans ready for the end of June and Rosalie was online looking at all sorts of baby clothes. Your uncles were excited too, they can't wait to meet the little one'

'Really?' I asked, happy tears falling from my eyes

'Yes dear. I know your parents were upset but you have to understand that to them you're still their baby and you always will be. When they come around I know they're going to be estatic. How could they not be? We're all looking forward to having another baby in the family to love and care for, it's a miracle and a blessing.'

I smiled, the tears now falling from my eyes.

'That's the smile I like to see' she said 'be happy always, when mommy is happy so is the baby.'

Sometimes there are no words that can heal, quite like your Grandmother's.

next chapter: The LA Push gang find out about Nessie's pregnancy. Including Rebecca. REVIEW for quicker updates :)