Disclaimer # 1 – not my characters. Not making any money. Just playing with them.

A/N # 1 - Selmak recently got two reviews recently, which sadly she was unable to answer as the person didn't leave an email addie. They were rather anti MM/SS.

"Frankly the very idea is horrifying. She is old enough to be like his grandmother or something at least older than his mother!? Unless his mother was like extremely, extremely old. You definitely should have mentioned it because it definitely is a disappointment. It being Minerva and Severus as the two characters mentioned at the top of the page as the main ones doesn't hint that that's the pairing. Seriously, the pairing is messed up!" & "the pairing is still very disturbing and wrong."

Now, Selmak takes all her little reviews to her little symbiote heart and cherishes each and everyone of them. Yes, she needs a good beta (as she lost hers in the last Go'auld raid on the Tok'Ra tunnels), a good weed wacker as she rambles, she splits her participles with great joy, and often times she gets enthralled with really minute trivia. Does anyone care that the Svetambara Jains wear a Muhapati to prevent themselves from inhaling flies? Well besides the Svetambara Jains, that is. But she's working on her writing. So yes, Anonymous is deemed to have a very good point.

So Selmak would like to apologize to any and all traumatized souls that have actually made it to this point of her long-running tale regarding the Unholy Trinity despite the fact that Sel was a silly little symbiote and didn't put SS/MM in big letters in the first chapter. Sel firmly believes that MM is a young at heart witch who enjoys a jolly good shag, regardless of the age difference of her partner. As long as they're above the age of consent and not a student, she's willing… well… as long it's not Peter Pettigrew and others of his ilk. Also the age difference had been discussed in detail a few chapters in, but Sel believes that Anonymous was having intensive therapy with Dr. Phil by then.

Off the top of her little Tok'Ra head, this is the listing of all pairings past, present and possible future.

MM/SS, MM/OC, MM/ most of the Pride of Portree Quidditch team (Our Min supports her Scottish Team with pride), MM/AD, MM/FF, MM/PS, MM/RH, MM/MEMoody, MM/RL, MM/SB, MM/DKettleburn, AD/MOC, FF/FOC1, FF/FOC2, OC/OC and this teaser is just for you, Anonymous.

She promises you a SS/MM/FF bedroom scene where a very distraught Snape is devastated to find MM and FF mutually consoling themselves after an exceedingly bad day with Severus. Will our Min be able to handle both boys?

(Ignores terrified screams) Relax, Sel could just be a brat and making that tidbit up.

Now the question is – is there anyone still reading after that traumatic thought?

Synopsis: Sel left Severus staring at two treasured snapshots and Min had a command performance with Filius.

When Minerva finally stopped drinking with the girls and dutifully reported to his quarters, Filius greeted her with a harsh, "What is going on, Min?"

"My head," she whimpered. "Everything's spinning. Make it stop."

"Oh for the love of everything magical, Min, do sit down," Filius snapped, as the witch's lovely green complexion clashed horrifically with her green eyes. "You look like you're about to collapse. Drinking with Ro is foolish, especially this early in the day!"

"Do you have a spot of Invigoration Draught handy?" Min plaintively requested, after she collapsed into a chair.

With a quick flick, swish and a dart of Filius's wand, before long Minerva was back within the land of the happy to be alive, as opposed to the land of the living that wished that they had died rather than endure their hangover.

"You shouldn't drink with Ro this early on a Sunday morning, especially after all your extracurricular activities yesterday," Filius slyly insinuated, and the Charms Instructor waited for Minerva's guilty conscience to spill her sordid story. For good measure, Filius also decided to smile.

A rather knowing smirk, in fact. After all his innumerous decades of teaching, Filius knew exactly how to break a guilty party into confessing their crimes. Let other teachers browbeat and deduct points, Filius knew when he could crack a soul with a simple smirk.

"Merlin's pants," she pitifully moaned. "How much do you know?"

"Min, did you really think I'd be unaware of anything that transpired?" Filius questioned, liberally lacing his tone with hurt with a smidgen of disbelief. "I transferred part of the bond to you, not all of it. So I know exactly where you spent last night."

"He didn't… talk to you… about what happened? Oh Filius, I'm so embarrassed!" The witch blurted out that tasty tidbit and then the witch put her head in her hands, quietly muttering about how badly she had cocked up everything.

"Come on, Min, tell Uncle Filius your side of things. You'll feel much better!" Filius cooed, and then to his absolute horror, Min then in fact, told him everything, leaving nothing uncensored and uncut. In fact, there was utterly too much personal information for Filius' comfort.

When Filius was at last able to collect his scattered thoughts, he let them simmer for a bit in his mind, much like tea leaves need to steep in hot water in order to produce a fine cuppa.

"Maybe I should have taken the boy up on his repeated offers" was his first thought which Filius immediately discarded as both extremely crass and exceedingly unhelpful.

Flitwick was delighted with the fantastic news that Severus and Min had finally decided to consummate their relationship. The budding sexual tension between the two of them had been getting noticeable to someone that knew them as well as Filius did. Well, to be honest, he needed to rephrase that, it was utterly brilliant that Min had finally decided to play Quidditch with the all too willing lad. Add the tidbit that Severus was apparently quite the lover, capable of even satisfying the lusty Minerva, and Flitwick was ready to bless the relationship for as long as it lasted.

The boy needed some happiness in his life, and Minerva would provide it by the cauldrons, if Fillius could get the two of them talking again.

"Bryce Kinnear. You know, Severus does look a little bit like Bryce," Filius finally admitted. "I never realized it before now, but there is a noticeable physical similarity. The height, the coloring, the posture…"

Min nodded her head, and said not a word, instead the witch roughly wiped an unshed tear from her tearing eye.

"Oh, love, you can grieve for Bryce," Filius gently chastised her. "It's not a shameful thing."

"But I shouldn't be grieving Bryce when I have another man in my bed," Min protested. "I can't believe that I wept like a deflowered virgin doing the walk of shame!"

"Yes, you crying is a little ego crushing…and for someone like Severus who's so chary of admitting that he's a human being who possesses such frailties such as emotions, I can easily comprehend why he jumped out the window rather than talk out the issue," Filius admitted. "I mean, we are talking about the same lad who Lacus Somnioru'd you."

Filius' moustache twitched, and he barked a laugh.

"What a truly Slytherin thing to do," Filius quipped. "To jump out the window rather than face you! But most importantly, are you sure he wasn't physically hurt?"

"I don't believe he was hurt," Minerva curtly retorted before her voice softened. "I didn't see any blood or any signs that he was injured when I had breakfast. But I didn't have the chance to ask him, as he was busy chatting with Tanaka regarding Japanese Potion Makers. I certainly didn't question Poppy as how could I honestly explain my desire to know if Severus had crawled into the infirmary? 'Pardon me, did Severus break any bones this morning around 2am?' What a bloody Gryffindor thing to do."

Filius' grin broadened, and he leaned closer to Min before he softly whispered, "How many times do I have to tell you that we view people's characteristics through their House Affiliation?"

"Excuse me; I'm having a bit of a personal crisis at the moment, Filius. Can please we skip your post doctorate thesis on 'House Affiliations and Personal Characteristics'?" Minerva moaned. "Because I'm sure that you'll slant his jumping out the window as the Ravenclaw thing to do as breaking every damn bone in his body was smarter than to facing me!"

"Min, I'm having my own issues with Severus. Do you have any idea why he might be angry with me? Maybe angry isn't the right word, but the boy seems rather put off with me. It's not my fault Albus turned him into a party planner, so I can't understand why he's feeling… as though I've betrayed him…The boy is quite upset with me." Filius whispered that last, and he quickly wiped his own eyes. "I'm worried that it's a result of the India extravaganza. They do have a bit of hero worship with reference to me…"

"More like a cult," Minerva offered helpfully.

"And I'm quite close to several of the Cadre," Filius quickly blushed after he recalled the previous night, and then he squeaked, "Get your mind out of the bloody gutter, Min!"

"But it's so nice down in the gutter. Everything's so soft and warm," Minerva purred, truly enjoying watching Filius' blush spread from his ears all the way to the very tip of his nose.

"You were much nicer before you started hanging out with Ro," Filius snapped. "Yes, I understood you two were as close as thieves from that auspicious day you first met on the Hogwarts Express, but I have my ways of knowing what a sweet, innocent girl you were before you were willingly led astray. But yes, I'm quite close to several of the Cadre, Mohammed Masood, in particular. After all, I was exceeding fond of both his parents, and I stayed in touch with him over the years."

"I don't think Severus would begrudge you your friendships with Mohammed and the rest of them," Minerva decided after a very thorough internal deliberation. "But Filius, there was that rather noticeable anti-snake bias in the Indian presentation."

"No, they're not anti snakes, they're anti-Nisha fanaticism," Filius protested. "She was a loner, and quite… utterly mad. I mean, many of Jaya's senior most Sikh instructors were formerly Nāga students of Nisha. For example, Amanbir Kaur saw the error of Nisha's ways, and she's now one of the dueling instructors at the school. Jaya and her husband Bharadwaj trust her completely as they let Amanbir stay behind to keep an eye on the Sikh students. Merlin's beard, can you imagine? Twenty thousand students?"

"Filius, there was a slight altercation between India and Severus. In fact, they were flatly refusing to attend because…. Kritika and her mirror caught Sev in flagrante delicto… completely and utterly starkers in fact, and she saw the Death Mark," Minerva explained. "It was a rather hairy situation as they were flatly refusing to leave the damn mountain to come to the party. I had to speak with them, and I'm sure that damnable Albus was involved, but they decided to change their mind."

"Shalini was quite fond of using mirrors to correspond, and they've kept that tradition alive. Mirrors are such bloody nuances, as you can't politely ask for a chinwag before barging in," Filius growled. "So yes, I think seeing a Death Mark tattoo would make them rather nervous. The Nāga House was quite proud of its traditions, and every one of Nāga students was tattooed with serpents. For example, Amanbir has these intricate tattoos that are wrapped around her body. When she converted to Sikhism, she offered to get them removed because the Sikhs believe in not modifying the body that God has given them, but after much discussion, she decided to keep them. Removal would cause further damage."

"Filius, as much I enjoy debating the finer points of the Sikh mysticism with you, I'm a little more worried about Severus," Minerva reminded him.

"Forgive an old academic, Min," Filius pleaded. "We get distracted so easily especially by pretty girls with interesting tattoos in strategic locations."

"How are we going to handle Severus?" Minerva questioned. "I'm willing to follow your advice with him."

"I need to talk to him first. Then you can swoop in and console him," Filius suggested. "I think last night might have aggravated my lumbago. Yes, in fact, I believe that I'll need Severus to whip up his special potion for me."

"You're such a dirty old man," retorted the witch. "You shouldn't be shagging witches a quarter of your age if your body can't handle it."

"I'll be leaving," Filius decided, ignoring Minerva's rude comment on his sexual prowess. "If you're sober enough to find you way out, please do so. If not, feel free to sleep it off on the couch."

The Charms Instructor grab a handful of Floo Powder and he threw it into the fireplace. With a burst of green flames, he stepped into the fireplace, leaving one foot outside of the range of the flames. One of Filius' personal quirks was that Filius refused to stick his head into the fireplace for a Floo Chat. He was short enough, thank you very much, and so he always stood for the chats.

"Severus, lad? You there? Do you have any of my lumbago potion available?"

For a moment, Minerva believed that Filius was in real agony. His voice held that slight quiver that she had learned meant Filius was being brave and ignoring his pain.

"May I come down for some? I don't want to disturb you… No, no, no. You don't have to come up here." Filius pleaded and then paused in his one way conversation. "Very well then… if you insist… on Flooing up here, I won't stop you. I'll see you in a few minutes."

He left the fireplace and then turned to face Minerva. "You need to leave; Min. Severus will be arriving in roughly two minutes. He seems maudlin to the point of mawkishness, which is so unlike him. I usually have to only deal with that odd mood when Albus is in his cups."

"Albus?" Min questioned, her voice full of surprise. "He gets drunk?"

"It's rare, but sometimes after he deals with Aberforth, he starts obsessing about the Dumbledore family history, reliving past regrets and misdeeds. I did teach Albus, after all, and I know his story quite well. By that I mean, the true story, Min, not the lies that his family spun to protect his sister."

"His parents did what they thought was best," Minerva tiredly protested. "It was a different age back then."

"Yes, and their decisions created ripples that still affect Aberforth and Albus to this very day," Filius commented. "Now please, get out of here!"

"Alright, alright!" Minerva growled. "Tell me how you make out."

Severus was still staring at the photo, watching Min and Filius hug and laugh while the photo Severus sat looking rather dyspeptic. The photo Filius then attempted to hug the photo Severus, and the sulky snapshot Severus stormed off to parts unknown, his black robes billowing behind him.

His fire place blazed green, and he quickly Veiled the two photos. It was Filius Flitwick popping in for a Floo Chat, and the Charms Master was grimacing in pain.

"Severus, lad? You there? Do you have any of my lumbago potion available?"

His voice held that slight quiver that meant Filius was being brave and ignoring his pain. It was obvious that Garuda had too much fun with his feisty witch and was now paying through the nose for his festivities.

"I have some, I'll bring it up to you," Severus tersely stated. "You sit down on your couch, and I'll be there momentarily."

"May I come down for some?" Filius requested. "I don't want to disturb you."

"Filius, Flooing is bad on tendonitis, you know that. I'll bring it up to you."

"No, no, no. You don't have to come up here." Filius pleaded.

Obviously, all seeing, all knowing, all wonderful and tripled blessed Garuda was noticing his less than chuffed attitude.

"I'll bring it up to you. Now sit down, Filius. I'll be there shortly."

"Very well then… if you insist… on Flooing up here, I won't stop you. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Filius disappeared, and Severus could prevent voicing a groan of displeasure. Damn bloody oversexed Filius Flitwick for overexerting himself. Naturally, he had to put Filius back together again.

He Floo'd to Filius' quarters and the Charms Master was sitting on the couch. There was a throw over the Charm's Masters small legs, and there were two House Elves busy setting up a High Tea. Everything in the assorted dishes and plates smelled absolutely heavenly to Severus, and he sternly warned his stomach to behave.

We're not staying!

"Very good," Filius was telling the two House Elves. "If I need anything else, I'll call."

"We is pleased to serve!" The Elves chorused and then they thankfully left.

"Severus! Please sit, have some tea!" Filius suggested, in a voice that sounded very much like an order.

Naturally, Severus refused to sit. He wanted this meeting to be short and relatively pain free, at least emotionally, and then he'd return to his dark lair to lick his wounds and stew on his dark thoughts some more.

"Here's your potion, Filius. May I suggest that you're too old for nocturnal wrestling matches with significantly younger witches?" Severus dryly commented. "You're lucky that you didn't end up in traction. Can you imagine the scandal if Rita Skeeter found out?"

Filius laughed, wincing while he did so. Severus couldn't help but flinch sympathetically, as his damn knee was throbbing something fierce. He could just imagine how painful Filius' lumbago was.

"Actually she had a great deal of compassion for my physical limitations. I think my strolling around the Quidditch Pitch yesterday is what's causing my hip to ache. But you're still standing, Severus. Sit down, I want to chat with you, and since you're here, we can be civilized and do so over tea." Filius then smiled, and motioned for him to sit down.

"I have a great deal of grading to do," Severus protested. He handed Filius the potion, trying not to limp and to his surprise, Filius grabbed his hand.

"Come on, lad. Sit down, Severus. I didn't get a chance to talk to you yesterday. I really appreciate the effort you put into the party. Let me at least say thank you," Filius pleaded. "Thank you, Severus. I am greatly touched by all our hard work in getting yesterday's party together. It meant a great deal to me."

Damn the sincerity of the Charms Master, Severus thought. Couldn't he just quaff his potion and fall asleep?

"You're welcome," Severus tersely stated. "Now drink your potion, so I can go. I added a ingredient to help you rest, so you should feel sleepy. I thought after all your nocturnal activities, you probably need to catch up on your sleep for tomorrow's classes."

"Perhaps I don't need it as much as you do," Filius slowly stated. "You're limping."

"I twisted my knee yesterday," Severus admitted. "Your bloody bear mage was busy chasing Septima. He nearly tackled me."

"Bad, bad Yuri," Filius stated softly.

Filius was staring at him, and Severus felt himself dwindling back into his twelve year old self. He wouldn't let Flitwick do this to him! He'd be strong and he wouldn't be intimidated by Flitwick's kind eyes.

"Severus, why are you mad at me? It's not my fault that Albus turned you into a party planner," Filius gently questioned.

"I'm not mad at you. I even found the entire experience to be… less painful than I had dared to hope," Severus lied.

"Another lie, Severus. That's the third falsehood you've spoken to me today," the Charms Master protested in a very disappointed tone. "You obviously wanted to talk to me earlier today, yet you changed your mind. Yuri didn't cause your injury as he can barely get up to anything faster than a lumbering pace, even if he's chasing a pretty girl, and if you're not mad at me, then I'm shagging Dolores Umbridge."

"Don't let Filch hear that, he's quite possessive of his women," Severus retorted.

Filius shuddered and then made a face as though he was about to sick up.

"You're still lying to me, Sev. I thought we were friends," protested Filius. "Even as a student, you never lied to me. Why are you starting now?"

"Friends?" Severus questioned. "I know you're my keeper, Filius. I know you've my executioner, but are we… friends?"

The distrust in his voice appeared to greatly distress Filius.

"Bloody hell yes. What type of question is that, Severus? Will you have the courtesy to sit down, Severus? You're making my neck ache as I have to crane my neck to look at you. After all these years, you're now wondering if we're friends. What the bloody hell brought this on?" Filius softly questioned. "What exactly happened at the party to make you doubt our friendship, Severus?"

Severus gracelessly sat down in a soft chair. It was only because his knee was beginning to ache, and for no other reason.

"I discovered that Garuda, the much beloved and world renowned killer of Nāgas, has a severe case of Ophidiophobia which he has failed to mention to me in the last dozen or so years that he's been putting up with me," Severus admitted. "I simply can not understand why Garuda has willingly dealt with the Head of Slytherin except that Albus forced you to do so. Therefore our presumed friendship has been nothing more than a lie."

Filius paled and he shook his head. The Charms Master was cursing in various assorted languages, or at least Severus thought he was, as Filius looked upset.

"Bloody hell," Filius finally calmed down enough to say that. "I had hoped that I had successfully hidden my entirely irrational fear of snakes from you and the various Slytherins that I have interacted with ever since the Mumbai Massacre. All these years, and you're the first one to notice my Ophidiophobia. You won't tell your students, will you?"

"Slytherin House prides itself on looking out for fellow Slytherins." That's all Severus would commit to, but Filius turned a sickly shade.

"For the love of everything magical, Sev, please don't tell them. If word gets out, every time I fail a student, I'll find a cobra in my desk. Hell, I might find more than one, and I really…don't want to fall apart… in front of the students." Filius whispered.

Bloody hell, Filius was shaking and in tears. Even though they weren't friends and had apparently never been particularly close, Severus still felt guilty.

"Brace yourself, Garuda," sniped Severus. "I will not inform my students that the legendary impartiality of Filius Flitwick is a tall tale just like our supposed friendship was."

"You don't understand, Severus. There were thousands of them. Thousands," Filius sharply protested. "They were everywhere. In the ceilings, wrapped around the pillars, slithering on the floors… There wasn't enough antivenin to save everyone, and so they suffocated to death as their diaphragms were paralyzed and… I didn't mention it to you because I had worked hard to overcome my fears. You know that I still have nightmares…I still dream about Utta being overwhelmed by thousands of cobras."

Severus said nothing because what could he say to defend himself? Nothing. He was a Slytherin after all.

"Lad, our friendship wasn't a lie. It wasn't, but right now, I can't deal with you and your all too reasonable suspicions. Get out, Severus." Filius harshly commanded, and then his voice softened. "I need to be alone. One of these days, I'll have the strength to crack your rock hard head open and pour some badly needed sense into it, but not now. My dead are haunting me."

That was whispered very softly, and Severus realized that he had really cocked up everything as he was a complete arse.

"I'm sorry, Filius." Severus whispered. He got out of his chair, and he crawled on his knees toward Filius' seat, uncaring of the pain in his knee. What was important was that he apologized to the Charms Master. If he needed to crawl on broken glass, he would, so the twinge in his knee was nothing to him. "I'm so sorry, Filius. You know how I get…"

"Yes, I do know how you get. How many times have I warned you about your tendency to overanalyze everything? You find slights when they don't exist, discover insults that were never voiced, and you jump out windows instead of actually talking out an issue. But in the dozen odd years we've been friends, you've never hurt me as much as you did just now by doubting our friendship. Is it so hard for you to believe that I actually might care for you? That I might cherish your companionship as much I treasure my friendship with Minerva, even in spite of your cantankerous, skeptical nature? No, such a simple answer would never dare cross your overly analytical mind. Now get out, Severus," ordered the Charms Instructor.

Quickly, Severus kissed Filius on his cheek. He was reacting instinctively; praying that what had once assuaged his mother's anger would mollify Filius. He knew he was throwing nitroglycerin on a raging fire, but Severus Snape, Knobby No Mate, Clueless Charlie truly possessed no idea on how to alleviate Filius' anger.

"I'm so sorry, Filius. Please, please forgive your Severus," he pleaded. "I'm sorry."

"Stop it, Severus. You first tell me our friendship is a lie and now you're offering me your body. Get out, Severus. I don't have the strength to deal with you right now," Filius tearfully protested.

Severus continued to plant kisses on Filius' face, pleading for forgiveness, and he wasn't surprised when the Charms Master nonverbally cast a spell to stop him. The Slytherin was utterly gobsmacked when he hit the fire place at a high rate of speed and then was abruptly Floo'd back to his own fireplace in his empty quarters.

He was still lying face down in the ashes of his fireplace, stunned at what had occurred and wondering how he could convince Filius to forgive him when his Dark Mark began to pain him.

Bloody hell, of all the times to be summoned!

"You jump out windows instead of actually talking out an issue."

Bloody, bloody hell, Filius knew exactly what had happened between him and Minerva.