In a week it'll be the half-anniversary of this story, roughly. Huh.

And, hey, it's early for a change! I'm going to be up north until Tuesday, without internet access. So.

Disclaimed.

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25: Intruder
In which Link has a semi-unexpected late night visitor.

It's the rattle of the door hinges that first alerts Link to his guest.

It isn't entirely unexpected, to be honest. He'd had a suspicion that he'd be getting a visit at some point tonight; in fact, he'd loosened the hinges specifically. Not that he'd informed the visitor in question of this awareness.

click-click-click-twang-thunk.

"Very funny, Link," comes a voice from down the hall.

Link chuckles, rising to his feet and stepping out of the room. Sheik scowls at him, surprisingly menacingly for someone dangling upside down by their ankles. "You're not supposed to break into people's houses, Sheik."

The other shrugs. "What's a few break-ins between friends? Now, are you planning on letting me down, or…?"

The blond sighs, moving to the wall and unraveling the rope. Sheik yelps as it does, falling with a muted thud onto the floor. "Really? Just drop me on my face, why don't you. Not like I need it, or anything." This is followed by several other, less intelligible mutterings. Link is suddenly glad he doesn't speak Sheikah.

"Calm down," he teases. "If you'd knocked like a regular person, I would've disabled the traps. So it's basically your fault."

"It is not," comes the reply. The Sheikah moves to stand with typical grace. "And, speaking of 'regular people', who booby-traps their front hallway?"

Link shrugs. "Been having a lot of trouble with thieves lately. Figured I ought to set up something to discourage them." He raises an eyebrow. "I could call the police, if you'd rather."

"Calling the police on your own friend?" Sheik asks, wandering towards the kitchen. "You're cold. Besides, they can't catch me anyways."

Link follows, opening the fridge and passing his friend an apple. "I'd offer you more, but I was so busy setting up the trap I forgot to go shopping, so…"

"Incredible," the Sheikah says dryly, biting into the fruit. "I could-"

"No, you are not stealing food for me," Link interjects, attempting to look stern. Judging from the snickering, he's not entirely successful. "I have my own money, Sheik."

"You're no fun," the thief complains lightly. "Come on, Link…"

"No." That's the end of it. Even Sheik knows better than to push it. "So, what's pushed you to break into my house at…" he pauses to check the clock, "…three in the morning? I assume there's a reason."

As if on cue, red and blue lights colour the kitchen walls. Sheik shrugs sheepishly. "Oh, you know… I shut the door behind me. There's no evidence I came here."

"Sheik!" Link complains. "What have I told about coming here to escape the cops?" He drops his voice to a murmur.

The other just smirks. "To not get caught doing it."

"Well, yeah, but-" He cuts himself off, grunting irritably. "Suppose I can't kick you out until they leave…"

"It would be most unheroic," the thief agrees. "The wielder of the Master Sword should not throw his friend and guide under the bus."

Link scowls. "First, I don't have the Master Sword at the moment. Second, you are a terrible guide. Seriously, Navi is more use than you."

"Oh, now you're just being insulting."

They stare at each other for a long moment, as the lights of the police cruiser fade away, plunging the kitchen back into semi-darkness. Then they burst out laughing. "So," Link manages, "what did you take this time?"

"Twenty bucks and a really, really ugly portrait of our dear piggy friend," Sheik informs him. "I burnt it. Oh, and a puppy."

"A puppy?! You took his puppy?!"

"Mmm. I'm going to keep him. Zel will love it."

Link chuckles. "You took his puppy," he repeats in disbelief. "That is so… you."

"Why thank you," the Sheikah purrs. "By the way, you're out of arrows."

"But I just stocked up yester-" He stops. "Sheik…"

"Heh."

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It's terrible. But still.

More gender-neutral Sheik! Bloody hell, this is hard.

Next time: Autopsy

…Well, fuck. Help.

See ya~!

-Bird