Lost In A Hurricane

by OakleyPuppy

The life and story of Johanna Mason beginning from her reaping day until well past Mockingjay! I've been working on this for over a year so there is a lot of content! Some personal headcanons, otherwise all info is canon!

25. Chapter 25

p style="text-align: center;"I'm not really one to comment on my chapters but first of all I wanted to thank everyone who's given me such positive feedback! I'm not kidding when I say this is something I've been working on for years (I have 403 pages on word at the moment) and have only recently gotten the courage to post it here. This is something I'm still actively updating and editing when I have time, which is infrequent with school but I try my best. Thank you everyone!/p
p style="text-align: center;"!- [if gte mso 9]xml
o:OfficeDocumentSettings
o:AllowPNG/
o:PixelsPerInch96/o:PixelsPerInch
/o:OfficeDocumentSettings
/xml![endif]- !- [if gte mso 9]xml
w:WordDocument
w:ViewNormal/w:View
w:Zoom0/w:Zoom
w:TrackMoves/
w:TrackFormatting/
w:PunctuationKerning/
w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/
w:SaveIfXMLInvalidfalse/w:SaveIfXMLInvalid
w:IgnoreMixedContentfalse/w:IgnoreMixedContent
w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderTextfalse/w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText
w:DoNotPromoteQF/
w:LidThemeOtherEN-US/w:LidThemeOther
w:LidThemeAsianX-NONE/w:LidThemeAsian
w:LidThemeComplexScriptX-NONE/w:LidThemeComplexScript
w:Compatibility
w:BreakWrappedTables/
w:SnapToGridInCell/
w:WrapTextWithPunct/
w:UseAsianBreakRules/
w:DontGrowAutofit/
w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/
w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/
w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/
w:OverrideTableStyleHps/
/w:Compatibility
m:mathPr
m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/
m:brkBin m:val="before"/
m:brkBinSub m:val="-"/
m:smallFrac m:val="off"/
m:dispDef/
m:lMargin m:val="0"/
m:rMargin m:val="0"/
m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/
m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/
m:intLim m:val="subSup"/
m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/
/m:mathPr/w:WordDocument
/xml![endif]-!- [if gte mso 9]xml
w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="false"
DefSemiHidden="false" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="380"
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/
w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/
/w:LatentStyles
/xml![endif]- !- [if gte mso 10]
style
/* Style Definitions */
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
/style
![endif]- !-StartFragment-/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';""How can you act like you know/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"When all you know is a lie?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"Another truth to expose/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"Freedom will capture their eyes/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"We find this truth/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"We fight. You lose"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"~Flyleaf/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI wake up gasping, terror burning in my chest. Visions of blood are burned into the backs of my eyelids, taunting me each second I spend trying to pull myself awake. My eyes snap to Lily, who is sitting up, her warm hands gripping my arm. She looks horrified as I blink up at her. It must have been bad, the nightmare. Already I can't remember what caused my clothes to be soaked through with sweat or what has already caused my throat to feel raw with screams. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's okay" I say between heavy breaths. "It's okay, I'm awake" I grab Lily and pull her against me, "It's okay." My heart is pounding so hard I feel like the bed is moving. Lily lets out a whimper as she buries herself in the blankets beside me. I hold her even tighter and plant a soft kiss on her head. "I'm so sorry" I say, guilt mixing itself in with the slowly ebbing horror. "I didn't mean to scare you."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe doesn't say anything, but I can hear her breathing. It doesn't take her long to calm down enough to fall back to sleep, but I know that I won't be so lucky. I keep Lily held tightly against me, timing my breaths to match hers until I feel relatively calm. The sun is already beginning to peak its head up. It isn't too long before the sky turns from black to blue to white under the heavy layer of clouds. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLily begins to stir at what I guess is about eight thirty. She rolls around, bouncing in and out of sleep for a good half hour before her pale eyes meet mine. She smiles, kicking her feet wildly until she's ruined our bubble of warmth under the blankets. I sit up when she hops out of bed, running my fingers through the knots in my hair. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI take my time getting dressed. I don't spend any time on my hair, I know Lucille will change it anyway when she gets here. I squeeze the edge of the counter when I think of her and the ignorant, annoying prep team. They'll be em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"here/em, in my home with my family. I chew on the inside of my lip, wondering how I can possibly keep Karina from digging her fingers into Lily and Cam. But I don't think there's much of an option; they'll be here in two and a half hours. Hopefully I can keep the attention on me and away from everyone else, as miserable as it seems./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI stumble down the stairs, accepting the small plate of food my father offers. My stomach writhes at the thought of eating anything but I force down a few bites of eggs to satisfy the three of them who are all watching me with concerned creases between their eyes. I do what I can to seem normal and unaffected but I even I can tell my act is weak. Still, I'm grateful that no one says anything. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanMy fingers are painful and bloody with my picking by the time I hear a car rolling up outside. My intestines flip at the sound of the doors slamming and faint giggles reach my ears. There's a quick and far too perky knock at the door. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Karina/em. I groan, earning myself a pursed lip look from my father. He rises slowly to his feet, his attention turning to the door. I jump to my feet, moving to block him. "I've got it" I mutter. If I could lock the three of them in a closet I would. All of em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"this/em, this new part of my life, if for me, not for them. I want to shield them from it, keep them blissfully ignorant. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanPulling open the door I'm unsurprised to see Karina standing in front of the entourage. Her previously pink wig has been replaced of rippling blues and silvers, her dress and long fur cloak made to match. Her attention snaps to me as soon as the door opens and I'm faced with an falsely broad smile./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh Johanna!" she cries as she pulls me into a hug "I'm so happy to see you." I make a face, my nose wrinkling in disgust, which she ignores as she pushes past me into the warmth of the house. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI sigh, resigning to follow her as the rest of people behind her follow suit. I catch Lily's eye, who is starring at Karina with her mouth puckered into a small o. I raise my eyebrows at her, making a face behind Karina's back that makes Lily giggle. The sound catches my escort's attention, who lets out an exaggerated shriek when she notices Lily and Cam standing off to the side./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are these your brother and sister?" she gasps. Lucille and the prep team are just behind Karina. The two women both gasp as they take them in, commenting on how much they look like me though I know it isn't true. They look like my mother, beautiful and graceful even when they've just woken up. I take after my father with perpetually knotted hair and a facial expression that always looks angry. Both Cam and Lily seem to enjoy the attention, as much as it irritates me. I cross my arms over my stomach, wishing I could command them all to leave./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLucille comes up beside me, her face as stern as ever. Her dress has a laughably large bow over her midsection that I can't help but scoff at. It earns me an angry scowl but I just roll my eyes and cross my arms in front of me. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Bite me/em. She barks at the women on the prep team who are still fawning over Lily, calling them back to attention./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Get her ready" she orders them "we're on a tight schedule."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe pudgy woman must see the hesitation on my face because she clucks her tongue and pats me on the shoulder. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"it's alright dear, this won't take nearly as long as you're used to," she coos at me like I'm a child. She means well I'm sure, but it doesn't stop me from cringing with irritation. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI cast Lily and Cam an uncomfortable look as they lead me away, allowing me to show them to the bathroom off my bedroom. They murmur about the em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"quaintness/em of the house as I show them down the upstairs hallway. I furrow my eyebrows when once of them is shocked by the small size of the bathroom. I can't help but wonder how large their homes are. It's amusing to imagine them seeing my old home, which is little more than a shoebox compared to this. We only had em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"one /embathroom there, for the six of us, and it was at least half this size. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe plump woman, which I'm starting to recognize as Carlita, sits me down in a chair in my bedroom before digging out some gel from her bag and starts massaging it into my hair. The man crouches awkwardly in front of me so he can start painfully plucking hair from my eyebrows. The other woman, whose name is Jessamine or something like that shakes her head at me, complaining about the state my fingernails are in. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI shrug, trying to muster any sort of apology but I can't. I've never been a nail bitter but the weeks of stress as this day grew closer started the habit. The two start bickering with her about who has the harder job, forcing me swallow down an angry retort about how they're blatantly insulting me. They soon run out of steam, however, and return to their normal routine of chirping to each other without even realizing I can hear everything they're saying. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanJessamine slaps my wrist when I curl my hands together when the man brings up the Games. I let her put my hand back into position, but I'm immediately much more tense. They all seem surprisingly reminiscent; my victory has given them attention and fame they've never had before. As soon as the tour is over they'll be back to their old status once a new victor is crowned. "em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Glad I could be of assistance/em" I sneer, rolling my eyes which only momentarily shuts them up. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThey were right when they said this wouldn't take long. It takes them under an hour to restore my hands, face, and hair back to their standards. Carlita brushes my eyes with rather toned down browns and tans, making it so that I don't look like I'm wearing any makeup at all. Which of course means I still look wildly different than normal. My lips and nails follow suit, still coated in layers but done so expertly that I look rather like I'm a doll instead of a person. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLily pokes her head around the corner at some point between my hair and makeup, causing the three Capitol puppets to fall into another round of shrieks and cooing. I immediately sit up straighter, trying to get in a word between the incessant chatter. But I close my mouth when Jessamine offers to paint Lily's nails and pulls out an extraordinarily bright purple color that makes her eyes double in size. I lean back slowly, keeping my attention strictly on my sister and orange haired woman. It actually makes me feel bad, seeing how kindly she treats Lily. They laugh together, Lily's attention captivated when Jessamine tries to show her how to apply a clear layer over top so the nails don't get ruined. I wonder what she would think if I told her how hard pressed she'd be to find any nail polish anywhere in the district. But I keep my mouth shut, feeling increasingly guilty for snapping at them before. But it doesn't change my opinion of them. They still prep tributes for slaughter. They never cared about me and would be no less enthralled if I were dead. If anything, it just makes me more confused. How can people who can be so kind and caring so okay with something as barbaric as The Hunger Games? /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanOnce Carlita and the man, who I've now tried the name of and failed to remember, deem me ready, I'm surprised to find myself laughing at the carefree banter between Lily and Jessamine. Lily jumps to her feet once I've risen, fanning her electric purple fingers in my face. She runs out of the room to go show Cam and our father, nearly barreling into Lucille as she brings up clothes for me to change into. The prep team disappears down stairs but Lucille remains in the room, waiting for me to change so she can make any adjustments she wants. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAt first it was hard not to feel awkward, having people watch me change my clothes, or better yet, change them for me, but now I hardly care. I'm relieved to see that Lucille has given me pants instead of a dress. They're black, softer than even the blankets on my bed. She's also supplied a surprisingly thick although lacey shirt that reveals more of my chest than I'd like while also remaining modest. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDownstairs Karina is split between making herself "em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"presentable/em" as she says, and ordering the camera crew around. Lily and Cam are sitting together in the kitchen being interviewed, my father presumably somewhere else getting the same interrogation. I chew on my lip, rotating my attention between the clusters of people. I stand in the entrance to the kitchen, people pushing past me, calling orders to each other. I move to the side, picking at a hangnail on my thumb while I watch the chaos. For the first time since Karina called my name at the reaping, I feel utterly and completely invisible. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLucille is the one who breaks my shield of invisibility. She thrusts a silver coat at me, waiting for me to pull it on before adjusting the open front and sleeves as if I somehow ruined the soft fur. "Here" she says, handing me a pair of black gloves. I pull them on, surprised at how warm they are despite the lack of thickness. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Alright everyone!" Karina shouts, standing in the center of the action. "Smile wide! This is very exciting!" she tells me as she grabs me by the shoulders and ushering me out the door./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI don't even try to follow her instructions. Although I'm not particularly frowning, I'm most definitely not smiling; this might be the em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"least/em exciting thing, following the Games. Derek is already standing outside, clothed in his own dark gray fur coat. I can see how uncomfortable he is before I get down the three steps in front the door. He smiles at me, giving me a nod that I think it supposed to be supportive but mostly comes off as tired. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKarina orders me around for pictures and video, sometimes with Derek, sometimes by myself, once with Lily at my side. I'm freezing and irritated once she's satisfied we've gotten enough footage. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Footage of me standing in the snow/em I think with an eye roll. For the camera's sake, my family accompanies me to the train station, Lily and Cam shocked at the luxury of the car the whole time. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe crowd at the train station is significantly smaller than that at my return home. I'm surprised anyone is here at all; most people are at work or school in the middle of the afternoon. But I pay them little attention, choosing to worry myself with people I love. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI crouch down, pulling Lily into a hug, choosing to ignore her when she complains that she can't breathe. Cam is next to say goodbye, then my father, and then Lily another time. As much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I can't stop the feeling that it feels like the last time I'm going to see them. President's Snow's words are heavy in my heart as I say my goodbyes. I have nothing to worry about- I haven't done anything to anger him, and I won't. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I love you all so much" I say, finally letting Lily go. My father places his hands on her shoulders, holding her back from chasing me as Karina pulls me towards the train. I watch them through the window, waiting until they've long gone before I sink into a chair, pulling my knees to my chest and closing my eyes. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe next few hours pass by in a blur. Mostly I sit still, not speaking to anyone, not taking any of the refreshments offered, not even lifting my head to look anywhere but the window. It feels like a dream- no, a nightmare, being back on this train. Is this what Derek feels, even years later? I swallow heavily, this feeling has to fade eventually. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKarina has to say my name three times before I finally hear her. "Are you alright?" she asks, more irritable than concerned. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"I glare at her, narrowing my eyes slightly. "Fucking em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"brilliant/em" I hiss sarcastically/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';""I should hope so" she snaps back. "You should be happy, Johanna. Not many people get this opportunity."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"I'm almost shocked into silence. I stare at her, mouth agape. "Because they're em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"dead/em" I say. "I em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"killed them/em."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"She rolls her eyes but I can see she's uncomfortable. I lean back in my chair, glaring at her, waiting for her to ask whatever it is she came to. Finally, she sighs, her hands holding onto her thin hips. "Dinner is ready, if you'd like to join us."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI make a face at her, turning back towards the window for a long second before standing up and following her to the dining car. I'm sure the food's delicious, but I don't taste a bite of it. Even though I'm the last to sit, I'm the first to rise. Karina mutters to herself about manners as I scoot away from the table and nearly run back through the doors. I only barley make it to my bedroom, dashing to the bathroom before I lose the entire meal. I grip my knees tightly, remaining hunched over the toilet until I'm sure I'm not going to puke again. I'm sure Karina would have a lot to say about that./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI fall backwards onto the bed, holding my hands over my face. I don't want to be here. I want to go home; I want to go home right now. When I drop my hands to my side I'm not surprised to feel the burn of tears in my throat. How am I supposed to sleep without Lily? How do I keep myself together without any of them? My chest aches so bad it feels like someone just punched me. I can't face this again. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Johanna?" my name is muffled behind the door, preceding a quick but quiet knock. I roll my head to the side, glaring at the metal barrier like it has teeth. The shadow remains on the other side of the door despite no knock coming again. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanMy jaw is clenched together, forcing myself to appear composed as I get up to answer it. Derek stands on the other side, just as sad and pathetic looking as the first time he stood here. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I want to know if you're okay" he asks, the scent of wine heavy on his breath. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No" I say, clenching the frame of the door "I'm not fucking okay."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHe sighs, though I suspect he expected that answer. "I know I can't do much but… if you need anything at all, you know where I am."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI lean my forehead against the cool metal. He turns to leave but I call him back. "How do you live with it?" I ask./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHe sighs, scratching at the scruff on his neck as he leans his head back in contemplation "You just do" he says. "You hold on to the people you love, let them take care of you."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI nod, not satisfied with his answer. "That's great but that doesn't help me now."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI roll my eyes, "goodnight Derek" I say, shutting the door before he even finishes saying goodnight himself./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanI walk back to my bed, hesitating before lying down. How the hell am I going to get through this?/span/p
p style="text-align: center;"!-EndFragment-/p