Susan sat at the end of the long banquet table with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Susan, I am so sorry to unload all of this on you, but you deserve to know everything," Dumbledore said softly.
Susan did not respond and hung her head, too embarrassed to look up at the people sitting before her. Susan had been gone for over a year now, and she had been afraid of what she had missed, but she never imagined it would be this horrible.
"Susan, do you have any questions? Or do you just need to process it all?" Molly Weasley asked kindly, unsure of how to help her.
Susan looked up, rapidly blinking the tears from her eyes and stared at the people before her: Arthur and Molly Weasley, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Alastor Moody, Tonks and Dumbledore, sat before her, waiting for her to speak.
Susan opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it. All she could think about was what Dumbledore just told her. Voldemort was back, Cedric was dead, Lisa was no where to be found, and Jack Lanyon was believed to be a Death Eater. All of that combined with the fact that Remus was not sitting beside her at the table made her want to leave and never come back.
"I'm sorry for crying, I think I just need some water," Susan said, then got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen on the opposite side of the long dining room.
Dumbledore looked urgently at Molly, prompting Molly to get up and accompany Susan in the kitchen.
"Do you want anything to eat dear?" Molly asked, while the Order members began to whisper quietly among themselves.
"Professor Dumbledore, I doubt Susan will be willing to fulfill the mission you have for her," Tonks whispered hurriedly, keeping an eye on Susan who was fumbling for a glass in one of the tall wooden cabinets.
Dumbledore said nothing. Instead he paid particular attention to the grain of the wooden table.
"I think the girl will be fine," Moody demanded, his magical eye swirling in multiple directions.
Sirius shrugged his shoulder, and folded his arms, "I don't know her well enough."
Arthur nodded in agreement, while Snape sneered.
"Frankly, I'm just surprised that she didn't ask about Lupin."
"You know I can hear you," Susan hissed, as she walked past Snape and reassumed her seat at the table.
Molly followed closely behind her and set a bowl of soup in front of her.
"Thank you," Susan said softly.
She seemed to have composed herself and was ready for further discussion.
"So, who else is in the Order?" Susan asked, trying to cut the tension and learn a bit more about the group.
Dumbledore smiled, "Kingsley Shacklebolt, Charlie and Bill Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Rubeus Hagrid, Mundungus Fletcher, and a few other prospective members."
Susan nodded affirmatively, "great, will they all be here for the meeting?"
"Yes, most of them will be here," Dumbledore responded.
Susan ate her soup while everyone waited for the others to arrive.
Tonks, who sat to Susan's left, kept glancing at Susan as if waiting for Susan to address her.
"So how have you been Nymphadora?" Susan asked loudly.
The Order members watched intently, knowing how much Tonks hated that name.
"Fine, I've enjoyed working with all the Order members," Tonks said overly enthusiastic, and smiled at everyone at the table.
"Yes, she has been a great help," Molly said kindly.
"Oh, I bet she has been. We go way back, you know?" Susan said with a smile, as she took another sip of her soup.
Tonks eyed her, visibly annoyed.
"I've worked a lot with Remus. We're doing a research study on Death Eater intel networks," Tonks said coyly.
Susan looked a Snape, whose usual grimace resembled a smirk.
"That sounds very interesting. Remus is a great academic," Susan said evenly, then turned to look at Dumbledore.
"I don't want to seem pushy, but will I receive a specific role within the Order, sir? I know you mentioned something about me being a healer when we first talked, so I'm just curious."
Dumbledore looked up from the table and looked at Susan intently, "In due time, Miss Thoits. I might have another mission set up for you."
There was a sudden noise coming from the corridor, then the dining room door swung open and Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minerva McGonagall, and Rubeus Hagrid, filed into the room.
"Well, let us get started then," Dumbledore said, and the meeting began.
The meeting was long. It began with individual briefings on what each member had done during the past week. This briefings included: stating their current mission, assessing their progress, addressing any conflicts or issues, and informing members on their next steps. Then there was a summary of Daily Prophet articles, rumors, or any other information members had heard throughout the week. Apparently it was a slow news week, but there were still things to talk about. Mainly the Order discussed the mission that was happening that evening. Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, Mad Eye Moody, and Hagrid, would be retrieving Harry Potter from his Aunt Petunia's residence at 12:01am.
Susan's thoughts distracted her during most of the discussion about logistics, but there was extensive coverage of security issues and troubleshooting any potential crisis.
"Any questions?" Dumbledore asked, before the group closed for the evening.
Susan looked around the table, but no one moved to speak.
"I have one," Susan said, raising her hand.
Dumbledore nodded in acknowledgement.
"You mentioned Remus was supposed to help with this mission, but why is he not here?" She asked slowly, trying not to sound too concerned.
Snape gave her a daft look.
"Yesterday was the full moon."
Susan opened her mouth to speak, then quickly shut it.
"That is correct," Dumbledore said, "and if there are no more questions, I believe we are done for the evening."
There was not much conversation as everyone rose from their seats. There was a perpetual weight on everyone's mood that suppressed any excitement.
Susan stayed seated while the Kingsley, Tonks, Mad Eye, and Hagrid left to make their final preparations for the evening, and Minerva quickly exited the room with Dumbledore as they discussed Hogwarts business.
Severus brought his tea-cup to the kitchen, where Molly, Arthur, and Sirius were preparing breakfast for the morning, then approached Susan at the table.
"Did you forget your boyfriend was a werewolf while you were away?" Snape asked, sitting in the seat across from Susan.
Susan rolled her eyes.
"Did you forget to wash your hair?" Susan countered.
Snape pursed his lips and his nostrils flared.
"No," he hissed, "but I'm surprised you haven't seen your favorite professor yet. I'm sure he is dying for some affection."
"Look, I am not playing this game with you any longer, Severus, and quite frankly I have seen enough of you for one evening so I am going to go help the others with breakfast," Susan said sternly as she got up and walked away.
"How was your first Order meeting?" Sirius Black asked Susan, who was doing dishes alone in the kitchen.
The group had gone off on their mission, and Arthur and Molly had gone to bed, seeing they were living at Number 12 Grimmauld Place for the time being.
Susan jumped, surprised to heard his voice. Though everyone had gone up to bed, Susan could not sleep with all the things she had to think about.
"Oh, sorry! You scared me, I thought everyone was asleep," Susan said, quickly placing the last of the dishes on the drying rack.
Sirius looked at her curiously. He had only seen Susan once and during that time he had been extremely distracted, but he noticed that she looked different. She looked older and more mature.
"Why aren't you using magic?" He asked, genuinely curious.
Susan dried off her wet hands, and laughed, "That's a good question. You see, I've done a lot of work this past year without magic, so I guess I'm just not accustomed to using it all the time."
Sirius nodded, "Right, Remus told me about that. You were in South America?"
"Yes," Susan said, excited to talk about something other than death and Death Eaters.
"I was researching with Marie Beery. We were looking for magical properties in the flora that grows in the rain forests and mountain regions. It was a lot more cheerful than this, I must say."
"That truly sounds fascinating," Sirius said, putting a kettle on the stove.
"Would you like some tea?" he asked.
Susan smiled, "I would love some."
Sirius made the tea and joined Susan, who sat on a stool at the breakfast bar.
"To answer your question about the Order meeting, to be honest I am kind of scared. There is definitely some excitement, but I'd be lying if I said I was not intimidated."
Sirius sipped his tea, "I think that's a good thing. If you weren't scared, then I don't think you'd really understand how severe the situation is."
Susan nodded in agreement, eager to change the subject.
There was a long pause as they sat, waiting for their tea to cool. Susan did not know what to say, she had barely met Sirius before and did not know what he knew about her.
"If you don't mind me asking," Susan said slowly, "what do you know about me?"
Remus was a private person, and no one to Susan's knowledge explicitly knew about their relationship. However, Susan was unsure about whether Remus had confided in Sirius.
Sirius smirked, "The only thing I am sure of about you is that Remus loves you very much."
"Okay," Susan said softly, smiling into her tea-cup.
"Also, I could not help but notice that there was some tension between you and Tonks," he said casually.
Susan laughed.
"In the past we have not gotten along very well, but I'm working on it, especially considering she and I are both in the Order now."
"I like your attitude," Sirius said, finishing his first cup and pouring a second.
"More tea?"
"Please."
"Is this what the war was like last time?" Susan asked, unable to forget about everything she had just been told.
Sirius face fell, "It feels like it did last time, but I think we have a better understanding of what we have to do now."
Susan could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she tried desperately to blink them away, but it was no use, they would have to fall eventually.
"Susan," Sirius said softly, reaching his hand out to touch her shoulder.
Susan shrugged his hand away, "I'm really okay. I'm just strangely overwhelmed by all of this, and I apologize, we really just met and now I'm crying in front of you."
"Don't be silly, but if you want a moment I can leave," Sirius offered.
Susan wiped her tears jumped from her stool.
"Do you think you could show me where I'll be sleeping?" Susan asked, finishing the last of her tea and rinsing her cup in the sink.
"Of course," Sirius said, leading her upstairs.
"So you'll be staying here," Sirius said opening a door at the end of the hallway.
They walked into the room, and like the rest of the house the room was made of dark mahogany wood and decorated with emerald-green accents and think velvety fabrics. There was a fireplace against the farthest wall, and the heads of two twin beds were pushed against the left wall.
"Because we have so many people staying in the house, you will be sharing a room with Hermione Granger," Sirius said, pointing to a bed that had obviously been slept in.
"Though I don't know where she has gone. Since Harry arrives in the morning, I suspect she and Ron and anxiously awaiting him."
"Thank you," Susan said, picking up her suitcase and putting it on the chest at the foot of her bed.
"There is a bathroom right across the hall that you'll share with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, you get the picture," Sirius smiled.
"See you in the morning?" Susan asked, as Sirius began to exit.
He smiled, "See you in the morning."
As soon as the door shut, Susan released her suppressed sobs. Why had she come back? She had fantasized about what might have happened while she was gone, but she never imagined it would be this bad. Lisa was gone, Cedric was dead, and Jack Lanyon was a Death Eater. Not to mention she had not seen Remus yet.
She thought she had changed, become more confident, more mature, but really she was more scared and unsure than ever.
Quietly she unpacked her things and changed into her pajamas. Silent tears still streamed down her cheeks, as she grabbed her tooth-brush and tooth paste en route to the bathroom.
The wooden floors were creaky, so Susan tip-toed, not wanting to wake anyone up. After washing up, Susan heard a faint discussion from the room next to hers. The two voices sounded familiar. She lightly tapped on the door, and waited for an answer.
"Susan!" Hermione exclaimed, opening the door and bringing Susan into a large hug.
"Hi, Hermione," Susan whispered, hugging the girl tightly.
Hermione released Susan from her arms and turned to look at Ron, who was sitting on his bed.
"Ron, how are you?" Susan asked, embracing him as well.
"I'm doing alright," he said with a half-smile.
Susan nodded in understanding and leaned against he edge of his bed. Hermione sat beside Susan, and beamed at her two friends.
"It's nice having something to be happy about," Hermione said, breaking the silence.
"She's right," Ron said solemnly, picking at a loose thread on his sweater.
"So, I'm not the only one who feels slightly depressed in this place?" Susan asked.
"Merlin, no way," Ron said quickly, "you should hear the things people have said. I mean everyone's gone mad, not knowing what exactly what is going on and all."
Hermione pursed her lips and folded her arms.
"It really has been a scary few months."
Susan looked at her friends sadly, "But Harry is supposed to arrive soon, right?"
Hermione and Ron both nodded their heads.
"Yeah, we're waiting up for him," Hermione noted, and glanced at the time on her watch.
"What's the time?" Susan asked, it had to be around 11pm or so by now.
"Nearly quarter past eleven."
Susan stood up straight and straightened her pajama pants.
"It's getting late, but I will see you two and Harry in the morning?"
"Yeah, or we might wake you when Harry gets here," Ron said.
"Sounds good," Susan said, then went to leave.
The hall was dimly lit by candle light, but Susan noticed a bright beam of light coming from the door in front of her. Carefully she put her ear to the door and listened for any sign of whose room it was. There was a faint ruffle of paper, but nothing else.
Susan turned around to face Ron's door again, then lightly knocked again.
"Come in," Ron said, and Susan peaked her head into the room.
"Whose room is across from yours?" She asked.
Hermione looked at Susan suspiciously and smiled.
"Remus's room, why?"
Susan shook her head quickly, "No reason. I just saw the light under the door and was curious. See you in the morning!"
Susan hurriedly shut the door to avoid anymore questions and found herself facing Remus' door again.
"Fuck," she cursed, realizing she still had her tooth-brush and tooth paste in her hand.
"Waiting one more minute won't kill me," she muttered to herself, as she tip-toed back to her room.
Hope you enjoyed the quick update.
Also, get excited because Susan and Remus are going to reunite in the next chapter if you know what I mean (wink, wink).
Double also, I kind of think the age difference between Susan and Remus is weird (I mean Susan is what 19? and he is 30 something). So I am going to pretend that Susan is either 22 or 23 just so I feel less creepy, but I won't go back and change the story or anything. I mean the whole plot is supposed to be inappropriate I guess. I don't know, now that they aren't at Hogwarts I just feel like she should be older. But this is fan fiction so you can use your imagination at your own will.
Thoughts/ideas/criticisms on the chapter are always appreciated!
Stay tuned for an update really soon, I've been working on this next chapter for a while now so I hope you like it!
Best, teawithme