On Our Way

It was mid afternoon when Anders awoke. He stretched and turned on his side to look around the room. Morrigan was asleep on his couch with Pounce curled up beside her. He gave a little scowl when Pounce looked at him, "You really are a traitor. Maybe I could have used a little of your TLC last night."

Pounce blinked once and Anders smiled, "Ah well, I can't blame you, she probably moves less than I do huh?"

He climbed out of bed and slipped his feet into some soft leather slippers before he pulled off his dirty tunic and put a clean one on, he wanted to check in on Sareyna and Zevran. Quietly, he slipped out the door. As it slipped shut behind him he saw Justice.

"You're still here?"

"You were all still sleeping."

"Thank you for keeping an eye on all of us."

Justice blinked once then nodded, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I just want to check on Zevran and Sareyna."

"They are still in the suite."

Anders padded softly down the hall and slipped into the room. He crossed the sitting room and peeked into the bedroom. Alistair was sitting up on the bed and waived him in when he saw Anders.

"They're still out."

"I just want to check them quickly."

"You look better."

His sapphire blue energy started cascading over Zevran. "Morrigan said you caught me so I didn't hurt myself. Thank you."

"We were worried about you."

Anders nodded and turned his attention to Sareyna. All of a sudden Anders started; he scowled and stepped closer to her running his healing magic over her again. "What the Fade?"

"What? Is she alright?" When Anders didn't immediately answer his voice rose getting louder and sharper, "Dammit Anders, what's wrong?"

Zevran stirred beside Sareyna, "Tesoro?" His voice was thick with sleep.

"Something's wrong with Sareyna."

Zevran shot up, "What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing, I mean," he reached down and shook Sareyna lightly.

Zevran gripped her shoulder, "Querida, wake up."

Sareyna blinked a couple of times and scowled at the three of them, "What? I'm tired."

"I," Anders looked from Zevran to Alistair, "I need to speak to you for a moment."

"What?" She sounded even more annoyed.

"Alone."

"What? No, you can say whatever it is to us." Alistair was glaring at him now.

Zevran looked from Anders to Sareyna then stood up, "Come Tesoro, it will only be a moment."

Alistair looked lost for a few seconds but Sareyna nodded and he climbed out of the bed as well, "Are you sure 'Reyna?"

She nodded, "I'm fine, Ali I promise."

When the room was empty Sareyna sighed heavily, "I'm with child."

"You know."

She nodded, "I thought I might be. But they say it's impossible so I didn't think about it."

"It's struggling, whether from the trauma your body has been through or because of the taint I don't know." He swallowed hard, "Do you want me to help it?"

She gave him a weak smile, "I want to say no, I don't think I can do it again."

"I don't have to." Anders voice was unusually quiet and somber.

"But I think Zevran already knows." She sighs, "Is it murder if I say no?"

Anders held his tongue but Sareyna must have seen his thoughts anyways.

"I was afraid of that. Fine, do it. I'll tell them when you're done."

Anders' sapphire light surrounded her again, "This is different, it's really yours and his this time. It won't be that bad. I'll help you."

Sareyna's eyes were closed, but her lips were pressed into a grim line as she nodded. When he finished he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "It will be better this time. I'll make sure of that. I'm a better healer than Wynne any day of the week." He forced his voice to sound light.

"Alistair will be happy, he wanted another child."

Anders gave her a sad smile and left to bring Zevran and Alistair back in the room. Zevran sat next to her and took her hand, a tentative smile on her lips. "You're going to be a mother again?"

She nodded solemnly. Alistair gasped and sat heavily on the bed, "A baby?"

Zevran snuggled her and kissed her behind her ear, "I can't wait until you're as round as the moon and I can cover you with kisses." He whispered softly.

Sareyna nodded numbly. It broke Anders' heart seeing her so dispirited over what he thought should have been joyful news. He hadn't known her for her last pregnancy but he knew she had hated it. He thought it had been the weight of the Blight as well as what the child might possibly be that had weighed on her, but seeing her now he wondered.

"I'll give you three some privacy."

Sareyna looked up at him and gave him a small smile while the two men were talking animatedly together. Anders turned and left, his emotions in a tangle. He nodded briefly when Justice asked if everything was alright and disappeared back into his room.

He moved to the window and climbed up onto the window sill. Pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them he wondered if he had done the right thing. She hadn't wanted him to save the child, but he was a healer, it was his job. And if he knowingly did nothing it was the same as murder.

How could she not want another child, one that was truly hers this time? It boggled Anders' mind, he would have loved to be given the chance to have a child of his own. He closed his eyes and leaned against the glass.

He knew she would carry the child; she had already resigned herself to it. But she was carrying the child for the three of them, not for herself. She would spare Anders' conscience and let Alistair have hope. Anders wasn't even sure what it was he had seen in Zevran's eyes, it was radiant though.

Zevran still spent more time with Trelain than anyone else at the Keep. A soft smile touched Anders' lips; an assassin who loved children was just funny.

"Something amusing?" Morrigan's voice was soft and not unkind.

Anders opened his eyes and turned to look at Morrigan. She was sitting on the couch with her legs pulled up and the blanket wrapped around her. Pounce had moved to the other side of the couch.

"I was thinking about how much Zevran likes Trelain." He smiled again, "An assassin who loves children."

Morrigan smiled a little in return, "He does spend a lot of time with him."

"I tell you what; I pity anyone who ever threatens that child." Anders' smile faded, "She's with child again."

"What? How?"

Anders shook his head, "I have no idea, and she's not happy about it."

Morrigan stretched out her legs and slowly stood up, "I'm sure once we have things resolved with Renault she'll feel better about it."

Anders was quiet but he couldn't bring himself to believe it, he had seen her face.

"I'm going to finish getting ready to leave. They might still want to try to leave today. What time do you suppose it is?"

"I have no idea, late afternoon sometime." He unfolded himself from the windowsill, "I suppose I should finish getting ready as well."

Sareyna set her pack and weapons down at the bottom of the stairs and crossed the main hall, carefully not looking at the floor. She pushed into the refectory and was surprised to see all of the Wardens there already eating with the exception of Alistair and Zevran who were still upstairs.

Varel rose from the table and walked over to her, "His Majesty left this morning. He wanted to apologize for not staying to say his good-byes but he had pressing matters. He assured me you would understand."

Sareyna nodded, it all felt a little surreal, Maric had been there for so long it was odd to know he was gone. She silently wished him luck as she moved to sit and began to dish herself up some food, she was positively starving. The little thing was like a vampire, already sucking away her strength; she shuddered a little at the thought.

She felt Anders' eyes on her and looked up and gave him a smile. Anders bit his lip and looked away, Sareyna sighed, she shouldn't have burdened him like that this morning. She should have just said yes with a smile and let him keep his illusions about the miracle of motherhood.

She pushed the thoughts away and tore into her breakfast with gusto. She still wanted to leave before sunset and if Ali and Zev moved their asses hopefully they could still get started. As if conjured by her thoughts they both came into the refectory all smiles and sat down on either side of her.

She felt a twitch of anger run through her but quickly quashed it. It wasn't their fault that she didn't want another child. And just because she couldn't be happy about another child didn't mean that they shouldn't rejoice at their good fortune. 'Their' she was already thinking of the child as belonging to the both of them even though it was clearly Alistair's.

"Good let the two of them raise it." She thought bitterly. She bit her tongue and closed her eyes for a moment trying to get her emotions back under control. When she opened them she noticed Anders watching her again and the sadness in his eyes tugged at her heart. She was hurting him and she felt tears prick at her eyes. She quickly blinked them back and gave him a small smile.

Anders gave her a short nod and went back to eating his breakfast.

They were on their way in less than an hour, and though they only had a few hours of sun light they made the most of it, even pushing on a few hours after dark by the light of wisps from Anders and Morrigan. When they finally did set up camp Anders came over to Sareyna and sat beside her at the fire.

"I have something for you."

She smiled at him, "Is it something good?"

He gave her a rueful smile, "Yes and no? It will help with any nausea, but it tastes like tree bark."

Sareyna giggled, "Seems a small price to pay to get rid of the nausea. How much do I take?"

"Just a sip should help, but if not it's completely safe to take more." He was quiet for a few beats, "You have to stop drinking."

Sareyna scowled, "What?"

"You know how midwives say a woman carrying a child should not drink spirits? I think they're right. It does something to the baby, like poisons it. I've seen it a few times in the Circle."

"But, the other night?"

Anders nodded, "I know, but I'm hoping I was able to fix it when I" he gestured towards her abdomen.

"Right." She shook her head, "Poor thing's not even born yet and I'm already a terrible mother."

"It will be fine, 'Reyna."

"Is that a promise?"

Anders watched her closely before speaking, "There is nothing I wouldn't do to make this easier for you."

"Would you mind carrying it then?"

Anders chuckled, "You know, I think I might, if I could. If only to be able to say that I had a child of my own."

She blinked a few times, "Don't give up, Anders."

Anders kissed her cheek, "Get some sleep." He rose and left, heading back to his own tent.

She started when she felt Zevran touch her cheek, "He's right, come to bed, Querida."

Sareyna stood and followed Zevran inside.

The next day was quiet but for a few hushed arguments between Alistair and Zevran that Sareyna stayed out of. She travelled with Anders and Morrigan listening to Morrigan's rich voice going over the arcane warrior arts with Anders, trying to explain the theory of them as they travelled.

"You should have been a story teller, Morrigan."

Morrigan looked at her with peaked interest, "And why would I do that."

"I'd rather listen to you speak than Leliana any day."

"That's because I don't prattle."

Sareyna giggled, "I like your voice."

Anders nodded, "She's right, it's nice." He frowned a little, "Well except when you're yelling at me."

"I don't yell."

"She doesn't, she just scowls and her voice gets that edge of steel and you want to curl up and die."

Anders laughed, "Blown away on a stray gust of wind?"

Sareyna smiled and shrugged, "My original point was I like your voice."

Morrigan looked uncomfortable, "Thank you."

"So how are things with…"

Morrigan cut her off, "I'm trying to teach my thick headed brother how to protect himself."

Sareyna gave a mock bow, "I beg your pardon dear lady."

Morrigan rolled her eyes, "We're going to surprise Alistair."

Sareyna giggled, "I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Good." With that she turned back to Anders and continued her lesson.

That night and the next day the Wardens were unusually quiet. It seemed the closer they got to the mine the less people were interested in saying.