DSLW 25

i.

Merle

She was looking at me with some look I couldn't fathom before she broke the intense moment between us by suddenly slumping against my chest in apparent defeat. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her while she sobbed. I had thought for one moment that she was going to kiss me.

'Shit! I can't believe he's doin' this now...I'll find him, I'll find him.' I tried to reassure her.

She shook her head. 'I ...I can't bring up this kid on my own...maybe I should have got rid of it as soon as I found out... Better off maybe than with two messed-up basket-cases for a Mom and Dad...but he wouldn't let me...'

I shook her then, more violently than I meant to so that her teeth chattered in her head while she looked at me in shock. But I didn't apologise. I didn't need to know this and of course, if I knew my brother, he wouldn't have let her have an abortion. Had always been soft that way – with kids and animals.

'Don't ya dare! Don't ya ever talk about him or his kid like that!' I roared.

'I'm sorry ...Didn't mean it.'

'Ya better not have!' I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me as my anger faded away. I even stroked her hair. 'And I tell ya, when I do find him, I'm gonna fuckin' kill the selfish little shit!' I roared as I shook with rage.

'No...please, don't hurt him...'

I frowned at her because did she really think I could or would? But that didn't mean I wasn't as angry as hell at him for this latest stunt of his.

'Well...'I muttered but managed to calm down. ''Course I'm not...jus' can't understand how can he put ya and the baby through this, is all.'

'Do ...you think he's OK?' She looked up at me then, red eyes wide and hopeful but with mascara streaked.

'Yeah...sure. He's around, wouldn't have gone too far. Just freaked out about becomin' a daddy...wouldn't be the first man to do that...only natural at his age...'

'He's got a early shift tomorrow...what do I tell Carol? What about the police?'

'Don't tell her the truth...makes him look flakey. 'Sides, cops won't do nothin' yet – too early. 'Sides, if we get him back soon, no harm done. Tell Carol he's got the flu or somethin' that'll do for at least a couple of days.

She nodded.

'Right, I'm gonna go. Drive around and see if I can find him.'

'Thanks. Want me to come with you?'

'No, you can't do anythin'. Best ya rest up and try not to worry in ya condition. Told ya, I'll find him.'

I released her and kissed her forehead. 'I said try not to worry - will call ya if I find him, OK.'

'Even if it's 3 in the morning?'

'Promise. I've got a shift back here in the afternoon so I'll see ya then.' They'd got me part-time security work there to go with my mechanic's job in town. So far, things had been pretty boring – they'd only been one incident of a man coming to find his wife even after a restraining order was in place and I'd tackled him to the ground. Held him until the cops could get there. Bastard used to burn her with his cigarette lighter – had even held her hand against the gas-ring on the cooker.

Easy money for easy work. Also, I couldn't deny that I didn't enjoy seeing that these scumbags who liked to hurt women got theirs too. Cowards who preyed on the weak like Dad – they didn't even deserve to be called men.

She still looked up at me then with a terrified look on her face, forcing me out of my reverie, her lips were trembling. More tears not far off from falling and I wanted more than anything in the world to reach down and kiss them away but I didn't dare. Such a feisty woman but when I saw her looking vulnerable like this and it would only be over Daryl or the baby, her family - she was melting my heart like no other woman ever could.

Incredibly, she smiled stoically through the tears and punched me playfully on the arm. 'You'd better find him.'

I took my leave then.

ii.

…...

The man watched Merle leave the house with furious disbelief – a tall, blonde, rough looking man. He'd seen them embrace and him kiss her through the gap in the curtains and he'd been in shock, to put it mildly, when he saw her big belly on show. Looked at least 10 years older than her – what the hell was she thinking? He hoped that he was treating her right – he looked like a real brute who wouldn't think it beneath him to hit a woman – even a pregnant one at that. Besides, how could he have been replaced so easily in her heart? Or more than that – why had she run away from him in the first place?

Why was she living here at this women's shelter? Was she a resident – had she told someone that she was being abused? By who – him? He'd never hurt her – he loved her! But then why had she ran away? And would she even qualify for a place here – weren't they only for wives and girlfriends with kids also in danger? But if she was just a resident, they wouldn't have let her have her own house, would they? These places only gave women on the run from abusive men one room, he was sure.

He could tell the new boyfriend was a force to be reckoned with the way he strode out of there with fierce purpose and he didn't want to take on the guy right now. He looked dangerous like he killed every day for a living so he would hang back and take his sweet time. That confrontation would come later when he went to bring her back home, safe and sound where she belonged with her parents.

So she let him knock her up, did she? Silly girl. Now she'd ruined her life for sure. Those terrible scars all over her that the poor girl had inflicted on herself could always be covered up but this?

He nearly went and knocked on the door -she must miss him - must have wondered about her mother. He debated whether he should call Lara immediately and let her know that he'd finally located their daughter, living with an older man and expecting a baby with him. She'd be mortified but overjoyed at the same time. Unknown to his wife, he'd spent most of his savings on a useless private detective to find her when the they'd been no contact from her since she disappeared nearly 3 years ago. Hadn't had the money to pay for more than 6 months but he'd recently picked up a cold trail again himself from a sighting that seemed genuine for once and ended up here. He'd feared that she was dead – had almost resigned himself to that cold, hard fact, carefully avoiding any thoughts that their love might have been the reason for her running away. Of course, it had put her in a difficult position with her mother but they just couldn't hold themselves back from each other.

He didn't get it... not her pregnancy or the intimidating redneck she'd run away from him to be with or her whole new life.

But he was going to find out.

He shivered in excitement at the thought of a baby. If it was a girl...he could start all over, not repeat the mistakes he'd made with Mira.

He chuckled when he wondered if it would look like her – a sweet, beautiful mini- Mira. Lara would love to have a child to baby all over again, he just knew it.

iii.

Merle

I drove around aimlessly, it was getting dark and I didn't hold any hope of finding my brother tonight not matter what I'd told Mira. I'd been deliberately putting on a casual act that was more optimistic than I felt for her because I knew stress wasn't good for the baby. Still, if I could believe my instincts, Darlena hadn't wandered far and if I knew him, he'd be keeping an eye on his family from nearby. Probably sneaking to watch over her when he thought we wouldn't see him. I didn't let myself dwell on the thought that maybe he hadn't left of his own will – wasn't in his character to run away. He'd never before, not even from Dad and what he was doing to him and things couldn't have got worse than that.

Why the hell had he freaked out? I'd thought I had put his fears to rest. Maybe he just needed a break and would turn up in time for work. Besides, he knew they had me – I'd help out although I didn't know shit about raising a kid.

Maybe we should have got the cops involved but Dixons don't play well with cops. I'd rather sort this out between ourselves.

Oh brother, where art thou?