"Said I used to have a life once
He said I used to like your smile once
Singing silence to the world
But the stars kept marching"

-More for Me, Tegan & Sara

I'm running— it's what I do best. I've started off on two legs, and suddenly I'm on four. I knew this would happen, you can only go so fast on two legs. I highly doubt that the speed of light could define how fast I'm going.

Well you can only push your body so much before it's screaming at you to stop—I am still somewhat human.

That's probably why I ended up climbing through my bedroom window and flopping on my bed ready to pass out from exhaustion.

Throwing darts at my board can only let out so must frustration before you start to get frustrated with it and fists start flying.

I haven't pushed myself this hard in years.

The last time I ran this much, when I pushed myself to the brink of passing out—when the stupid red headed leech came and brought the damn horde of newborns.

I remember Sam pushing and poking and prodding—being the annoying as hell person I know he is.

That was about the time he started to abuse the Alpha command.

I always thought he'd use the command on me first—keep your thoughts to yourself Leah, be serious, this is life and death, think about your people, it's your duty, Leah, look out for your brothers, Leah—although now that I think about it I probably should've been the one the command was first used on—he probably never really did it because I'm a fragile little girl. The jackass.

"Leah? You in here?"

There's a knock on my door that follows my name being called, and slowly the door is creaking open.

Seth's head is poling in through my door, and I turn my head to look at him.

"Hey." He calls out to me smiling. "You're back."

"Yeah," I reply sitting up, "What's up?"

"Jacob called while you were out." He says carefully, "I told him you were out running."

Oh. Guess I'm not that sneaky.

"What did he want?" I ask carefully.

It's no secret that Jacob isn't Seth's favorite person right now, and the sheer fact that Seth is saying his name without a face is quite an accomplishment.

"I don't know." He says shrugging, but the way he shrugs makes me know that he knows exactly why Jacob called. "He said he just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh." Well I don't want to talk to him.

"What's going on?" He asks, far more interested than I would like.

"Nothing."

"Leah—" He says softly. He looks torn, like wants to say something, but doesn't know how I'll react, or like he shouldn't say something but he's dying to tell me.

"He's in love with you." Seth blurts out.

I look up at him with a shocked expression. How the fuck does he know?

"He told me?" He says answering my unasked question.

"Jacob is in love with you and—" He says, this time with more conviction and sureness. "And you have feelings for him too—you're probably in love with him too, but you're too scared or probably too stupid to even realize it!"

I'm speechless. What the hell.

"Everyone knows Leah! Quil and Embry know! Rebecca even knew! Fuck even Sam and Ethan know!" He says screaming at me now.

I'm about to protest but he cuts me off before I can even open my mouth.

"This isn't easy for us—for me. I don't know how to feel about imprinting, because I've seen how great it can be, but at the same time, I've seen how it can destroy someone. I've seen it destroy you, and hell Leah, I don't want you to ever have to go through that again, I don't want you to ever feel that way again, but I've seen how happy you've been, how different things have been—he's not Sam, Leah. Jacob isn't Sam and Nessie isn't Emily."

That's when I look up at him. He has this look on his face, this stern look that makes him look like the older sibling, he's dating me to disagree with him, but I can't because he's right.

"I just want you to be happy, and I think Jacob could make you happy."

Way to be corny Seth. I roll my eyes at him and he laughs at me, then smiles sadly.

"Things that are worth it don't come easy." He says with an aura of quoting.

I smile as he says this—because I'm taken back to a time when I was ten and my dad took Seth and I fishing—just the three of us. Remember being so frustrated because nothing wasbiting my line, but Seth had already caught and released his fish because he didn't want to hurt it, he couldn't stop comparing them to the tropical fish at the pet store.

I remember pouting and being so mad at Seth because he was so damn good at it, and I wasn't.

"Ugh, this sucks!" I screamed.

"Leah," My father said softly.

"Daddy! The fish aren't biting! Why does Seth keep getting them and not me?!" I whined.

"Honey," He said amused. "The fish know that you're impatient."

"It's not fair!"

"Relax Lee-ah" Seth said, "You want my pole?"

Even at five Seth was the most giving kid in the entire world.

But I shook my head and refused it.

"It's not supposed to be fair." My dad says, "Life isn't always fair sweetie, but really you both will find out that the things that are worth it, won't come easy, you're going to have to fight like hell—don't tell your mother I said that—but if it's worth it, that's all that matters. At least you'll always have each other."

Apparently my family is just fully of corny lines, but I come out of my memory to find Seth looking up at me.

"Dad said that." I say calmly.

"I know. He was a smart man."

"Yeah he was." I agree.

"I just want you to be happy again."

I look at Seth now, I'm not really sure when it happened but the person pacing up and down my tiny little room isn't my dweeb of a brother, this man, because that's what he is, he's no longer just my little dork of a brother, he's a man now.

"If I could give you anything in the entire world I would give you your smile back. If I didn't think you'd laugh in my face I would build a time machine for you, but I can't do any of those things—well I never tried but I'm sure I'd fail." He says smiling.

"Maybe things are supposed to be this way." He says shrugging. "Sam was never good enough for you. But maybe Jake is…"

I hear the underlining sense of guilt.

"I hate that he has an imprint. I hate that Nessie is his imprint, but there's always a reason right? I mean he's still Jake, he's not some mindless love zombie, he's still the guy we've always known, and that's got to count for something right?"

I'm not sure. Maybe Seth is right. He's still Jake, somewhere inside I know that what Seth is saying makes sense.

But it still doesn't explain the lump in my throat or even the reason why I ran.

The reason that I keep running…

"You look like hell. You need to get some sleep." He says getting up.

"Call Jacob, talk to him."

I'm hesitant to agree, and Seth sees it.

"If you won't do it for yourself, please do it for me." He says quietly.

"You're gonna kill us Leah, if you avoid this—you'll destroy him, you'll destroy us, but you'll destroy yourself. I have this feeling that you'll leave again, and you just can't leave again!" He says the last part with his voice rising and breaking.

When his voice breaks I feel my heart breaking.

"I don't ask you for much, I try not to ask much from you, but please Leah, I'm asking you for this, don't be stupid about this. Listen to me for once."

Is it that simple?

Talk to him?

I know that Jacob isn't Sam. This time I actually know that he has an imprint.

I mean, I'm not in love with the boy, for crying out loud. If you're in love with someone, you write their name everywhere on your notebooks. You start idolizing them, washing away their faults in your head, mistaking them to be perfect. And let me tell you Jacob Black is a lot of things, but perfect is not one of them.

" 'Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven,'"

My eyebrows rise in protest but Seth just smiles and continues, "Luke 6:37."

"The Bible? You're quoting from the stupid Bible!" I screech hitting his forehead!

"It's something I heard Carlisle tell Edward. It made me think of you."

"It all starts with you Leah and what you want, and you may still see me as this kid who knows nothing about the world, but I know more than you think. I know you've wanted to protect me, but I'm not fourteen years old anymore…"

"Yeah you're a big boy now!" I say mockingly.

He rolls his eyes in a way that makes me know for sure that we're related.

"Stop being so afraid Leah." He says it with such ease and I'm pretty much dumbfounded.

I am not afraid.

I've never been a coward.

So why is it that he's right? Why am I'm so fucking scared right now?

I don't run away. I've never ran away from a problem—that's just not who I am—who I've ever been, but I find myself scared shitless of being anywhere near him anymore.

But that's not who I am.

I am not a coward.

"It's not that easy Seth," I tell him.

With that said, I turn on to my bed dismissing Seth with a glare so icy it could've frozen a blast furnace, and I tell him to leave.

He doesn't speak a word, just stands there like a gaping fish. As soon as he's gotten a hold of himself he walks out the door and slams the door behind himself. I know he only used a fraction of his strength because with the look he had on his face I'm sure he would have had no problem ripping the door off its hinges with one finger.

I've always been a magnificent liar.

Especially to myself.

***

A/N: I suck I know. I'm so sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews from last chapter. I loved them all. I'm not sure if this chapter is disappointing but I felt like I needed to write this chapter. This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer but Seth can only say so much before Leah smacks him upside the head.

Next chapter Leah and Jake WILL talk, it'll be the big climatic moment that you all been waiting for, the one I've strung you along for the past 25 chapters for. And I'm asking for your opinion, for those of you who have read "The Talk" did you like Jakes POV, and would you like an intro into the next chapter from his POV? I was going to write it from his POV, but I think I'll save that for another time.

BTW; "The three men I admired the most » by ZuXy.Q" is finally complete. It's one of my absolute favorite fics, if you haven't read it yet you're seriously missing out, it's been the inspiration for my story and you should all go read and review it's amazingness.

Thoughts? Questions? Opinions?