Hello again! It's been ages, I know... but guess what?! I finally get a new computer next weekend! And you know what that means...less excuses to not update sooner! But also as school has started, i don't know if there will ever be regular updates... But I'll do my best!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor who or the quotes from the ep!
Enjoy!
-Chapter 25-
When the Doctor swung open the hatch that led to the roof and climbed out, Rose had to cover her eyes for a moment. "Blimey, that's bright." she mumbled as she climbed out too. He seemed to forget she was behind him and rushed back to help her out, even though she was already out on the roof. Rose raised an eyebrow. "Doctor are you alright? I can climb a ladder just fine, you know?" she said slowly.
His ears went a bit pink and he opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, and opened it again. "Of course, I just wanted to help...is all. Not that you need it! Just that...I thought it would have been...nice. To help." he floundered.
Rose grinned, her tongue poking out just a bit. "Really? Bit late for that though, isn't it?" she teased.
He tried to look wounded and failed, unable to not grin back at her. "Cheeky." he accused. He could feel her mind playing at the back of his...it was torture not to reach out with his mind to hers. He really had to teach her to control that.
She laughed as Amy and Rory joined them. "What, its morning already?" Amy asked.
That snapped the Doctor back to the reason he came up to the roof in the first place. "History is shrinking. Is anybody listening to me anymore? The universe is collapsing, we don't have much time left." he said as he soniced the satellite dish off the pole and attempted to get a signal form it.
"What are you doing?" Rory asked. Rose was wondering the same thing and went to stand beside him.
The Doctor looked up and pointed the screwdriver at Rose. "You can't make that face." he stated.
"What? Why not?" she asked, confused.
"There it is again! Stop doing that, it's distracting."
Rose crossed her arms over her chest. "How so?"
He waved the sonic around her face. "That...little confused face you make with your eyebrows pulled together and your lips pouting. It's adorable and very distracting when I'm trying to save the universe." he said and she grinned. "And that one, that one's even worse."
"Doctor! Back to the question." Amy reminded him.
"Oh yes! I'm looking for the TARDIS."
"The TARDIS exploded." Rory deadpanned.
"Ok then, I'm looking for an exploding TARDIS."
"Doctor, why did the TARDIS explode in the first place? What made it explode?" Rose asked.
"Good question for another day. But for now..." the Doctor said, jumping up on a ledge and soniced the satellite again. "Total event collapse meant that every star in the universe never happened. Never shone. So, of all the stars that ever happened are gone...what is that?" he said, pointing at the ball of fire in the sky.
"But that's the sun." Rory said.
"No...it's not. It's all wrong...the sun's a star, it would have never happened. The sun is gone." Rose realized, staring, mesmerized by the not-sun.
"But that can't be right. It's right there." Amy said, not understanding either.
"Is it? This is the sound the sun is making now." he said, using the screwdriver again and suddenly the mangled sounds of the TARDIS filled the air.
Rose covered her mouth. "Oh god, that's the TARDIS." she mumbled.
"Doctor there's something else, there's a voice." Rory said.
"I can't hear anything." Amy said.
Rory tapped his ear. "Trust the plastic."
The Doctor changed settings and tried again, they heard a distinct voice saying the same four words over and over, "I'm sorry my love."
"Doctor that's River. How can she be up there? And alive?" Amy asked. Rose's mouth fell open slightly. River was trapped up there. They couldn't have that.
"It must be like a recording."
"No it's not... Of course the emergency protocols! The TARDIS put her in a time loop to save her." the Doctor said, staring up at his TARDIS. He could feel her. Whirring away, trying to protect River. It broke his hearts to see his ship, slowly dying. So far away but still so close.
Before he could even react Rose pressed a final button on the vortex manipulator and they were gone.
Suddenly they were in the TARDIS, watching River run about the console. Rose grinned and crossed her arms. "Honey I'm home..." she joked.
River smiled and shook her head. "What sort of time do you call this?"
The Doctor rolled his eyes at the girls. Apparently they had bonded while he was away. "Alright, River, how about not dying today, eh?"
River laughed and grabbed his hand as he took Rose's with his free one. "Sounds like a plan, sweetie."
"Amy! And the plastic centurion?" River said when they reappeared on the roof.
"It's ok, he's on our side." the Doctor said.
"Really? I dated a Nestene duplicate once...swappable head. It did keep things fresh." she said and Rose couldn't help but grin. "Right then, I have questions. But number one is...what in the name of sanity have you got on your head?"
"What? It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool."
Rose rolled her eyes and with a look from River and Amy, she tapped the Doctor's shoulders and while he was distracted Amy threw the fez up in the air and River shot it.
"Really?!" the Doctor asked.
"EXTERMINATE!" the Dalek shouted, levitating up the building right on front of them.
"Run run run! Move! Come on!" the Doctor said, rushing them all to the hatch. He held up the dish quickly as the Dalek fired. "Oh do I miss the days when they couldn't even climb stairs..."
Once everyone was in, the Doctor soniced the hatch and jumped down. River kept her gun pointed at it for another moment, just in case.
"Doctor come on, let's hurry." Rose said.
"Shh, it's moving away. Finding another way in. It needs to restore its power before it can attack again. Now we've got exactly...four and a half minutes before it's at lethal capacity." he said, checking his watch.
"How do you know?" Rory asked.
"Because that's when it's due to kill me." the Doctor said, moving down the stairs.
"Kill you? What do you mean kill you?" River asked, she also noticed Rose was pointedly not looking at him.
"Oh shut up, never mind. How can that Dalek even exist?" he asked. Rose set her jaw, not wanting to yell at him. No one said a thing as they entered the hallway again. "It was erased from time, them it came back. How?"
"You said the light from the Pandorica?" Rory tried.
Rose would have smiled at Rory if things weren't so tense. Something the Doctor was apparently ignoring.
"It's not a light, it's a restoration field. But never mind, call it a light. The light brought Amy back, but how could it bring a Dalek back when the Dalek never existed?" he said, mostly talking to himself. He was all too aware of the way Rose was looking all around the hallways, checking their blind spots as they walked.
"The TARDIS caused a total event collapse, yeah? It exploded time itself. Every little bit in every moment in time...except the Pandorica." Rose said. The Doctor beamed at her and when she turned to him, she couldn't help but smile back.
"Exactly. You brilliant, brilliant woman, you. It's the perfect prison. Perfectly preserved, a few billion atoms of the universe as it was. In theory, you could extrapolate the whole universe from a single one of them. Like cloning a body from a single cell. And we've got the bumper family pack."
"No, too fast. Not getting it." Rory said and they stopped in the hall.
"The box contains a memory of the universe. The light transmits the memory. And that's how we're going to do it." he said, hoping that clarified it.
"Do what?" Amy asked.
"Relight the fire. Reboot the universe. Come on!" he said, starting off again. Rose and River followed as Amy as Rory gave each other a look.
"Doctor you're being completely ridiculous." River said. "The Pandorica partially restored one Dalek, if it can't even reboot a single life form properly, how will it reboot the whole of reality?"
"What if we gave it a moment of infinite power? Transmit it light to every particle of space instantaneously?" he said, trying to make them understand.
"Well that would be lovely dear but we can't, it's completely impossible." River said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Well, impossible is sort of our thing, isn't it?" he said winking at Rose. "But anyway, it's not. It's almost completely impossible. One spark is all we need."
"Doctor, for what?" Rose asked.
"Big Bang Two. Now listen..." he started.
Suddenly and without warning, the Doctor convulsed, shot by the Dalek appearing at the end of the hall. "EXTERMINATE!"
Rose dove to the ground along with River as Rory pulled Amy away. "Doctor, shh shh. It's me, it's Rose. Can you hear me? Stay calm." she soothed, for a moment he looked at her with regret, then he activated the manipulator and he was gone in a flash of light.
"Damn it, he's gone. He could be anywhere." River said.
"He went downstairs, twelve minutes ago." Amy realized.
"Show me!" River said.
Amy looked pained and tears started to form. "River...he died."
"SYSTEMS RESTORING! YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!"
"We've got to move, that thing's coming back to life." Rory said with his hand gun trained at the Dalek.
"You three go to the Doctor, I'll be right with you." River said. Rory nodded and quickly left with Amy. Rose didn't move to walk away, she only stood up. "Rose, you should go."
Rose didn't respond, instead she instantly took the gun from River's hip and pointed it at the Dalek, completely stone faced. River had only ever seen that look on her best friend's face once. She looked cold, unfeeling, so unlike Rose it was enough to terrify some people.
"RECORDS INDICATE YOU WILL SHOW MERCY. YOU ARE AN ASSOCIATE OF THE DOCTOR."
Rose cocked the gun. "And you just shot the man I love." she said and without another word, fired the gun at the eyestalk.
They watched as the Dalek died, Rose never taking her eyes off of it. "We need to get to the Doctor." River said.
Rose nodded and handed her back the gun. "Right. Let's go then."
"Rose..." River started.
"If you're going to say that was harsh or cold..."
"No, Rose. I would have done the same. It was a Dalek, so would the Doctor. I'm just making sure you're alright."
"I'm fine." Rose said shortly.
"Good."
Rose simply nodded. She knew what she would find at the end of the stairs...and she didn't want to see it. She didn't want it to be real. The Doctor had to be ok. He just had to. She would rip apart worlds to have him safe with her.
"But he was dead!" they heard Amy say as they caught up with her and Rory. Amy picked up the jacket Rory had draped over the Doctor's "dead" body.
"Who told you that?" River asked as she walked down the stairs.
"He did." Amy said, confused and hurt and happy all at the same time.
"Rule one, the Doctor lies." River said, like it was obvious.
Rose gaped for a moment. He was alive. "Oh I'm going to kill him. I swear to whatever sort of god is left, I'm going to kill that man." but Rose also couldn't help but be happy. Extremely. He was alive...
"Uh, where's the Dalek?" Rory asked.
"It died." River stated bluntly as she made her way ahead of them with Rose right on her heels.
"Where are we going? Where did he go?" Rose asked.
"Well, only other interesting place in this museum I suppose."
Suddenly it clicked in Rose's head and she took off running as fast as she could down the hall to the Pandorica room. It was only when she ran that she remembered she had a floor length gold dress on. She didn't quite stop to think, instead she ripped two massive slits down the sides of the already tattered and dirty dress and took off down the hall again.
The Doctor needed them to take care of that Dalek...but she had a bad feeling he was also trying to keep her away while he did something...very bad feeling.
Rose reached the room much faster than the others. As soon as she saw the Doctor inside the Pandorica, she knew that feeling had been right.
"Doctor!" she called out, nearly begging but she didn't know what for.
Rose held his head up as it lolled to the side. His eyes were closed. "Doctor...oh Doctor, what did you do...why didn't you tell me?" she whispered but he didn't speak a word. She sniffed and tried to rub some dirt off of his face. "You knew I'd try to stop you...but from doing what? Doctor...oh god, just please be ok. Please." she quietly begged. Suddenly his head moved but she head Amy and the others catching up to her. She turned her head away for a moment to check.
"Rose." she heard, very clearly.
She smiled, turning back to him, and put her had on his cheek again. "Yeah, yeah Doctor, it's me. I'm right here." She said, but he didn't respond. "Doctor?"
"Rose...can you hear me?" she heard again.
Her eyes widened and she instinctively leaned back. His lips hadn't moved. How did he speak so clearly? "Doctor...?" she asked.
"It's alright. Don't have much energy at the moment, wouldn't do much good to force myself to speak just yet."
"You are speaking..." Rose said, confused and a bit scared. Then it clicked. "This is in my head!"
She heard, or more felt, laughter. It was such a weird feeling, having someone speak and laugh in her head.
"Doctor!" Amy shouted as she and River ran up to the Pandorica.
"Shhh." the Doctor said to Rose, or was it thought? "Don't tell them. They'll demand answers, and be upset. Well, maybe they already are." Rose felt her eyes water. Seeing the Doctor...looking so beat up and tired, not even moving...she hated it.
"Doctor, can you hear me? What were you doing?" River asked as Rose stepped back and she took over. Rose stopped hearing what they were saying, she tried to focus on the Doctor. Not something that was very hard for her to do.
"Don't cry Rose. Please don't cry. I'm alright. Just...tired. My body is healing itself at the moment, it just takes a bit. River is figuring it out...but I doubt you want to hear about it from her."
You're bloody right I don't. Am I doing this right? Doctor...what's going on? How is this possible? How are we speaking without speaking?
He laughed again. "The Pandorica is helping. It's power is anyway. And your mind is strong Rose...so, so brilliantly strong. Always was, just now it's more like mine, you see. But...there isn't much time."
Time? Doctor, what are you doing? Why are you hooked up to the Pandorica? Please, just tell me what's going on, Rose thought. She wanted to hold his hand. She wanted to hug him close and not let him do whatever he was planning on doing.
"Big...Bang...Two." the Doctor struggled to say, answering both River and Rose.
Rory finally noticed Rose standing farther back, biting her lower lip and staying silent. "Rose...are you alright? Do you want to talk to him? I'm...well I could try and get River to let you speak to him...?" he tried, worried about the look on his friend's face.
She shook her head and gave him a small smile. "In a bit. Rory...I think I know what he's doing." she whispered and tried not to cry. She shook her head and Rory offered her his hand. She grinned and took it as he led her closer. Then she stepped forward next to River and he stepped back with Amy.
"Rose, you're not wrong. It's the only way." the Doctor said to her in her head.
I could go. Doctor, I could go instead. You're too important; the universe needs you so much more than it does me, Rose begged.
"No. Rose, I have to do this. You can still do so much good. But this needs to be done. And there is no way I will let you die. Especially not when I can go instead." she knew he was done arguing now. There was nothing she could do to convince him. She felt a new set of tears fall.
"The TARDIS is burring. It's exploding at every point in time. If you threw the Pandorica into the explosion, right into the heart of the fire..." River started.
"The light from the Pandoria would explode everywhere at once too. Just like he said. It would be a lot more than just a spark." Rose said solemnly.
"That would work?" Amy asked.
River took out his sonic and ran it along the wires. Rose didn't need to do that to know what he had done. "He's wired it all up to the vortex manipulator. To take it with him. Into the heart of the explosion. He's going to fly the Pandorica into all that." she said before River, looking up at the window where they could see the explosion growing.
"I'm sorry." the Doctor said. This time it wasn't in her head. River took that as her cue and backed away, giving them space.
Rose took his other hand even thought it was still clamped to the Pandorica. "No. You can't go. You can't leave me...not after all this. Not now. You'll be gone. No one will remember you. You'll be erased from everything. I can't-" She said, her voice breaking on the last word with tears in her eyes.
She noticed he had tears too, and it didn't look like he was trying very hard to stop them. "Rose...my beautiful Rose Tyler. I have to. I would give anything to stay with you forever...but I would also give everything for you to live." he said.
Rose cupped his face and kissed him, not hard or desperate, but with everything she had left. With every ounce of love and gentleness she could. It was soft and sweet and broke his hearts so much they ached. When she broke it she did her best to smile at him, but at the same time, trying not to cry even more. "I love you. I love you so, so much more than I ever got the chance to...to show you."
He shook his head and smiled at her, leaning his forehead against hers. "No, no Rose. Just you being alive is more than I could have asked for. I wasn't alone anymore with you around. You have made me happier than I dreamed I could ever, ever be. You made me better, Rose. No matter what. I will always love you. More than anything, I will love you." he said and suddenly she felt it. His love. It flooded her mind like nothing she could ever imagine. It made her want to cry all over again, and she couldn't help the tears that fell.
"This is not goodbye. Don't say it. Just don't. Doctor..." she didn't know what to say. There was so much she wished she could say and so little time left. She kissed him again, but this time she made sure her fingers were on his temples, and she pushed. She pushed everything that she wanted to say but didn't know how to. Every bit of her love for him. She opened her mind as best she could for him.
This time when she broke away, he was gasping for air and his eyes were wide and teary. "Rose..." he muttered in shock, and still a bit in awe.
She smiled and wiped his eyes for him. "I know. Always." she said and smiled as best she could. "Talk to Amy. She needs you too. And you need to...to talk to her." Rose said, not willing to say he needed to say goodbye. She refused to let it be final. If she let it be final...she wouldn't be able to take it.
She turned before she could convince herself not to, and wiped her eyes again. She walked up to Amy and did her best to smile, but she knew it wasn't much of one. "Amy, he wants to talk to you." she said.
Tears were falling already for Amy too. "Me? Not to you or River?"
Rose shook her head. "I did talk to him. I...just go. Amy, go talk to him." she said.
Rose wrapped her arms around herself as Amy walked up to the Doctor. Rory frowned and pulled Rose into a hug. He didn't speak, just held her and let her hug him back. Rose shut her eyes tightly. This seemed like a funeral where people walked up to the casket to say goodbye...she hated every second of it.
River walked beside them and put her hand on Rose's shoulder, more in control of herself like Rory was. Rose almost envied her.
"This isn't goodbye." Rory said suddenly.
Rose nodded into his shoulder. "You're bloody right it's not. I'm going to find you, you know. I don't care if you've no clue who I am, I'm going to find you, Rory Williams." she said, trying to force her mind to think about something else.
He smiled. "I'd expect nothing less, Rose Tyler."
River smiled at the two of them. Her best friend and her...well. Things weren't supposed to end this way...but time was always changing. Maybe it always was supposed to go this way. She knew beyond a doubt that whatever it took, she wouldn't just disappear. Not again.
Amy stood in front of the Doctor, with tears in her eyes. He was telling her something important, that she could bring he family back, that she could have a happy life. But she couldn't think about that, she didn't want to.
"Will Rose...will she even be around anymore? Or even River?" Amy asked.
The Doctor smiled sadly. "I won't have existed...Rose will most likely go back to London where she grew up. Live the life she would have had without me ever interrupting her life. She won't remember me. River...I don't know. I don't think I ever quite knew River. Everyone will be right where they should."
"You won't."
"You'll have your family back. You won't need your imaginary friend anymore." he said and laughed weakly. "Amy Pond...crying over me eh? Guess what?"
"What?"
"Gottcha." he said right as the Pandorica closed and Amy stepped back, watching it start to glow bright.
"Back! Get back!" River said, pushing Amy out of the way as the TARDIS shot up and out of the window.
Rose chocked back a sob as she and the rest of them huddled into a corner. Rose suddenly felt the Doctor. But she felt him straining...and she felt his fear. He'd never admit it, but dying did scare him. Not as much as losing Rose, but a little bit. He never really feared death, not with regeneration and sometimes he even wanted to end the pain he went through every day. But this time was different. This time he was leaving something behind. And she knew just how terrifying that was.
"It's from the Doctor!" River said, looking at her scanner.
"What does it say?" Amy asked.
"Geronimo." River said, looking up at the widow, the Pandorica nearly impossible to see.
Rose bit down hard on her lip. For one second, one tiny moment, she felt alone inside her head. Then she didn't feel at all.
It was after the second flashback of Amy that the Doctor realized. "No Rose. Well, that's just brilliant, isn't it? Figures...can't even have an enjoyable death..." he mumbled as Amy walked away down the street.
It didn't matter much. Not really. Although it would be nice to see her. But he did actually have a plan now, Amy could hear him. That meant he could get some kind of message to her...he grinned suddenly. He knew exactly what to say. He could save the TARDIS and himself...well Amy could.
More importantly, he had a way to get back to Rose. Even if...if she didn't know him any more...she might have dreamed about it. He would get to know her all over again, he would do anything if it meant being close to her again...and he was most definitely not above stealing her away from Mickey again.
When Rose opened her eyes...wait, had she been asleep? She didn't remember sleeping...oh. She also didn't remember sitting on a bench in the middle of a museum.
She had been...suddenly she shot up. It was the same museum. Exactly the same. Well, minus the Dalek and Pandorica exhibits as far as she could tell. Where they should have been, were now completely different exhibits. Something with a mummy.
She grinned and let out a breath. She hadn't restarted...for a moment she was afraid she would have done. But here she was.
Her hand shot up to her chest. She moved her hand to the left...there was one heart...when she moved her hand slowly to the right she laughed out loud. Two hearts. She was still a Time Lord...Lady...Gallifrayian? She didn't exactly know what she was. But she hadn't changed. That was something.
She quickly ran over to the nearest person. "Excuse me ma'am, would you mind telling me the date? I'm rubbish at keeping track without a calendar." she asked smiling insincerely.
"Oh it's the twenty seventh, dear. Oh my…do you need help?" the old woman asked, seeing Rose in the all but destroyed dress.
"Thanks, but I'll be just fine." Rose said and walked away. Twenty seventh...was that date important? The Doctor would know...she felt a deep pang in her chest. Subconsciously she moved her hand to the key still hanging around her neck, under her shirt. It wasn't hot. Not even a little bit warm anymore. Another pang.
She swallowed hard and continued to walk. No. She wasn't going to let it end this way. No chance. She would find Jack.
That was when she realized. The Doctor...he was erased. So Jack would still be in 1941. And...he would be dead. She felt her eyes sting. Jack was gone too.
She couldn't make herself walk any farther when she reached the steps outside. She sat down on the steps and covered her face with her hands as she cried. She didn't bother trying to stay strong this time. Stay strong for who? There was no one left to care.
She let herself break down and cry uncontrollably. Her family...the Doctor and Jack...they were gone. They were all she had left...she didn't know if she could bring herself to face Amy and Rory now. Not like this at any rate.
She felt so alone...more than she had in such a long time. Even before...she'd had Jack. And the hope of finding the Doctor. Now? There was no way to get to him. He was on the other side of cracks that didn't exist anymore. And Jack...dead. The Doctor had saved him...and all those people too...had they all died? Everyone the Doctor ever saved? Were they all dead?
Suddenly a hand touched her shoulder and she jumped slightly, out of surprise. She looked up with a tear soaked face and she tried to wipe her eyes to see the person.
"Rose...hello."
Rose's mouth fell open. "River?" she said in a shocked and breathless voice.
River grinned and held out a hand for Rose. "We don't have much time, dear. We've got a wedding to get to."
I'm in a very good mood, I might even update later tonight...possibly. No promises.
Thank you all so much for the reviews, they really do make my day, not to mention motivate me!