A/N: This chapter was originally part of a much bigger chapter which is still in the works, but after getting halfway done with the draft, I decided that it would end up being too long for my liking. But really ended up loving this one scene too much to just toss it out. So I cut this part out so that it may become it's own chapter. I figured this would be just enough to tide you all over while I finish up the actual chapter, that one still being in the work.
Shattersoul: Oh no. Jayson and Yan-chan are far from done here. As for Senpai, Jayson destroyed the evidence in the last chapter, stomping on Taro's phone, which had the recording of Jayson and Info-chan. The guy's got nothing to prove Jayson guilty with now. But we all know that Senpai's not going down without a fight.
Otakuficwriter: I've actually been waiting a long time to get the chance to examine Yan-chan's mental health in the story. I'm no psychologist, but I wanna do it anyways.
You may see Yan-chan as suffering from schizophrenia, I disagree with this. I understand how you'd come to that conclusion though, since the media loves to link hearing voices in your head to having schizophrenia. While Yan-chan may actually be suffering from it, she isn't suffering in the same way Jayson is.
Jayson's schizophrenia has impacted his life since he was a child, him first showing signs after the death of his mother, who was also schizophrenic in her own right.
It's important to note that schizophrenia differs greatly depending on the person and how they develop. Jayson's schizophrenia makes him prone to hostility and violence, makes him easily offended or worked up, angered and enraged. His default emotion is pretty much anger.
But Jayson's mother, as explained in chapter 21, wasn't like that. She was kind. Gentle. Loving. But also sensitive and emotional to an almost abnormal degree. She suffered from frequent mood swings and over exaggerated feelings. You know who else is doing that now but to a much less extreme extent? Yan-chan. But even then, I don't see her as 100% schizo. In fact, I think she's something else. I think she's bipolar.
The voices in her head on the rooftop are two very different sides of her personality, battling each other over control of her actions to the point where her mind gets overwhelmed by all the input and just crashes. That's why she shouts and screams about the voices. She wants them to stop so she can have time to process what they're telling her to do. Maybe she is a schizo, but that's obviously not the mental condition that's hurting her the most right now.
Yan-chan jolted up in shock as she regained consciousness, her senses all rapidly reawakening at once, her body twitching slightly as her nerves, joints and muscles received a powerful jump start. Though her limbs felt a bit tender due to the quick revival, she was eventually able to stand on her feet, swaying back and forth in dizziness, the task of keeping her balance difficult.
"Ow… My head" She said as she used her hands to rub her temples, the massage soothing the pain slightly. "Where am I?" She asked herself as she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but an unfocused blur.
Rubbing them gently, Yan-chan was able to clear the blur away from her eyes, them refocusing quickly so that she may see.
She gasped in shock once she noticed where she was. She had awakened in the middle of some street! Literally laying in the center of the road! How did she get here? Where even was here? What happened? Why does everything feel so… off? Why does Yan-chan feel so… loopy? Dizzy? So out of it? And what happened to all the color?
Looking around, all Yan-chan could see were shades black and white! No colors for miles! Just endless gray! What?! Is she colorblind now?! How did this happen?! Why did this happen?! Who allowed it to happen?!
Well… if she's going to insist on asking all these questions, might as well find somebody who can answer them, right? She sighed to herself as she began walking forward, not particularly aware of where she was going exactly.
She figured that all she had to do was pick some random person off the street and ask for a location or directions. Then at least she'd be able to find out where she was. And once she learned that she could be able to make her way home and find out exactly why she randomly lost the ability to perceive color.
Maybe she'd be able to find someone who could help her with that as well! Or, thinking more optimistically, maybe she'd run into Senpai or Jays… Jayson…
That… traitor! That filthy double crossing! Backstabbing! Heartbreaking traitor! When Yan-chan gets her hands on him! She'll… She's gonna… She'll make him…
Is that really going to help you? Do you honestly think violence is the answer to all this? It's that kind of mentality that gets you into these situations, you know.
"What the…? Who said that?!" Yan-chan asked as she looked around, seeing nobody in sight. So… where did the voice come from?
I know how you're feeling. You're confused. Overwhelmed. Scared even. And it's perfectly okay to feel like that. But that doesn't give you an excuse to hurt the people who care about you! The people who love you! And Jayson loves you so much!
"Don't remind me!" Yan-chan responded bitterly as she continued looking for the voice, her head moving left and right as her eyes scanned the area.
Wait a minute… Yan-chan knows this place! This is the route she takes to school every morning! She must not have recognized it due to all the loss of color. If she was on the route that she normally walked, then she was obviously still in buraza! She quickly remembered the way back to her house, turning around and dashing down the street, making her way home. She stopped her running as she made it half way though, noticing something odd.
The village was empty. Nobody's here. Nobody was walking down the streets. There were no cars driving down the road.
Yan-chan always knew buraza to be a small, quiet village. But not this quiet. Not to the point where it almost looked deserted and abandoned! It was like Buraza just suddenly turned into a ghost town, showing no signs of anything actually living here. No people to be seen or heard. Hell, there weren't even any animals. No dogs. No cats. Not even any birds in the sky.
Come to think of it, there wasn't even a sky at all! There was just a big, gray void. No clouds. No sun. No moon. No stars. What the hell was going on?!
Yan-chan eventually found her house, spotting it rather easily among the rest of the cookie cutter homes despite losing her ability to perceive color, it being the only house with a front patio. She walked right up to the front door and opened it, walking inside. Once she was in however… things got strange.
All the furniture in the house was… gone. The couch. The tables. The chairs. The television. Even the framed photographs that hung on the wall. All of them had been removed! The living room of the house bare and empty!
What the hell?! Had Yan-chan been robbed?! But who would dare steal nearly all her furniture including family photos?!
"Ayano, sweetie! I'm home!" She heard her mother call out as she walked through the front door, a paper bag of groceries in her hands.
"Mother?!" Yan-chan asked as she turned around, downright shocked after seeing her parent. She couldn't explain it… but it looked like her mother lost a few years. As in, she looked younger! Shorter! Thinner too. Like she was just starting to get into her twenties!
But… mother was in her early-to-mid thirties! She shouldn't be able to look this young! It looked as if ten years had just vanished! Poof! Like she never even experienced them!
"What happened to you?! How do you look so young?!" Yan-chan asked, shocked and dumbfounded. However, her mother didn't seem to answer her, not even acknowledging the fact that her daughter had asked a question in the first place. "Um, mother? Did you hear me?" She asked again as her mother began walking up to Yan-chan, getting very close. In fact, she was getting almost too close! As if she intended to ram herself into her own daughter! Walk right through her!
And that's what happened! Ryoba literally walked right through Yan-chan! Her body completely phasing through as if she wasn't even real!
"What in the actual hell?!" Yan-chan shouted, both disturbed, distressed and confused as she began putting her hands all around her body, testing to see if she was indeed still solid. She was.
She then cautiously tried to grab at her mother, her hand passing right through as if there was nothing there!
"Ayano! Where are you, sweetie!?" Her mother called, unaware of the fact that her daughter was right behind her.
"I'm right here! What?! You can't see me?!" Yan-chan asked as her parent failed to respond again, walking into the kitchen as if nothing odd was happening at all.
"Oh, there you are" Her mother said as she walked into the kitchen, her eyes focused on a small wooden chair in the corner, facing the window as a faint light peeked through it. A little girl was sitting on that chair, no older then six as she looked out the window. "Your father picked you up from school?" Ryoba asked the little girl.
"Yes" She responded blankly. Even though the girl's voice was high in pitch, it failed to convey any sort of emotion, coming across as very artificial. Bland. Blank. Almost as if it was spoken by a machine.
Oddly, Yan-chan had the weirdest feeling of deja-vu. Had she been here before? It was her house, yes. But why did she feel like she's already experienced this moment before?
"Did you have fun at school, sweetie?" her mother asked the child again, moving to stand behind the chair as her hand gently caressed the young girl's scalp.
"No" The girl spoke, her voice still sounding so… soulless.
"Oh, that's too bad" Ryoba said. "Are you hungry?"
"No" The child spoke again, Yan-chan almost shivering at the emptiness in the little girl's voice. It really did feel like it was some sort of… artificial machine instead of an actual human speaking.
"Will you be hungry later?"
"Yes"
"Okay then. I'll just get dinner started now and you can eat when you feel like it, okay?" Her mother asked, Yan-chan staying silent as she watched this scene play out, unable to shake the feeling that she's seen this all before. Then her mother spoke again. "Mommy loves you very much, Ayano. Do you love mommy?" She asked.
"WHAT!?" Yan-chan asked in pure shock. That… that can't be Ayano! That's impossible! She's right here! Besides, Ayano's seventeen! Not six years old! How could her own mother make such a mistake?! "Mother! That's not me! I'm right here! I'm Ayano! Not her!" She shouted, her mother still not noticing her. "Mother! Mom! Please, look at me!" She pleaded, begging to be acknowledged as she reached out to touch her mother again, her hand phasing through once more.
"Ayano, you didn't answer my question. Do you love your mommy?" Ryoba asked again, 'Ayano' turning her head to look right at Ryoba.
"Yes…" 'Ayano' said reluctantly, looking at her mother with cold, unfeeling eyes. Eyes that looked to be completely empty. Lifeless. Those windows to the soul having no soul at all.
"That's my good girl!" Ryoba said with a loving smile as she stroked 'Ayano's' scalp, turning the chair to face her before giving her 'daughter' a gentle kiss on the forehead, leaving to prepare dinner after that.
"Alright! Listen to me, you pint sized bitch! I won't let some little girl take both my name and my mother away from me! I'll make you regret this!" Yan-chan shouted at the child as she opened the knife drawer in the kitchen, pulling out the sharpest one and pointing it right at the little girl, who didn't even look at it, let alone react. "What?! Don't think I have the guts to kill a kid?! Well, you're wrong!" She yelled as she slashed the child with the knife, only to gasp in shock when she realized that the knife just phased right through instead! The child unharmed!
Yan-chan then screamed in rage as she tried again and again, slashing and slashing 'Ayano' as hard as possible, the knife just phasing through every time, Yan-chan's attacked ineffective as the child just… stood there, motionless.
That won't work, you know.
Yan-chan paused her attack as she heard it again. The voice from before.
That little girl isn't actually real. She's just a memory. A memory of you at age six. That's why your mom is so young and it's also why she's not listening to you. She's not actually there. It's just a memory. Almost like a flashback!
"A… memory?" Yan-chan questioned, unable to understand. "But… I never acted like that when I was a kid!"
Really? Because if you didn't, then why does your memory say you did? It's not your fault. A lot of people have a hard time remembering their childhood. Ever since you turned four, you rarely spoke to anyone. And even when you did, you only said two things. Yes and No. You always stood in that chair everyday and looked outside. You just… stared at the outside world, not really reacting to anything unless you had no choice.
"That's… That's right" Yan-chan recalled, her younger years flashing back to her. "I remember now. I always stood in that chair because everything inside bored me. Television. Reading books. Playing with toys. They were all wastes of time and energy to me. As for only saying yes and no, I didn't really have anything to say at the time, so I kept quiet. But… I can't remember why though"
You grew out of that eventually. I think that was around age… nine? Ten? Somewhere around that time. You grew out of a lot of your old habits.
"So, if this is a memory, does that mean I'm-"
Yep! You're inside your own mind! Rooting around through your own conscious and subconscious thoughts and memories! Pretty cool, huh?
"Um… yeah, I guess" Yan-chan responded, very confused as to what was going on. She's inside her own head? Re-experiencing her past memories? Her consciousness roaming around an entire mind? How does that even work? What sort of scientific logic could possibly explain such a thing? Was she really messing around in her own brain? Or was this just some crazy lucid dream?
Maybe it's a bit of both. Maybe it's neither. Yan-chan didn't know and frankly, didn't care. What she did care about was finding a way out so she could get back to the real world.
"Look, the little trip down memory lane was nice and all, but I can't stay here. I need to go back to the real world! My home! How do I do that?" Yan-chan asked, continuing to look all around the room, searching for the voice again. "And can you come out already!? Quit hiding and show yourself!" She demanded, tired of searching for a disembodied voice.
Yan-chan then felt a small hand grab and tug on the hem of her skirt. Looking down, she was able to see a little girl standing by her side, her reaching up to Yan-chan's thighs in height. She had her raven black hair done up in small pigtails, wearing what looked to be a much smaller version of aka-demi academy's uniform as she looked up at Yan-chan.
Yan-chan however, looked down at the small girl with confusion in her eyes. She looked so much like the little child Yan-chan just tried to kill! That one being a memory of her at age six. However, looking back at the chair in the corner of the room, she found her younger self still sitting, looking out the window.
So… who was this? Was it another memory? If so, how is it touching her? If what Yan-chan had experienced was true, the memory should just phase right through her like what her mother did.
"Who are you?" Yan-chan asked as she looked down at the small girl, greeted with a big, happy smile from her.
"You don't remember me? I'm your conscience!" The little girl answered.
"My… conscience?"
"Yes! You know what a conscience is, don't you? I'm the little voice in your head that tells you what's right and wrong!" She explained cheerfully. "Though… you don't really listen to me that much. But I don't care! It's just so nice to finally meet you!" Conscience said as she wrapped her arms around Yan-chan's legs, hugging them tightly.
"So… my conscience is a little girl? I'm not sure how I feel about that" Yan-chan stated as she took this all in. She didn't know what was weirder, the fact that she's talking to the physical manifestation of a voice in her head, or the fact that her conscience was basically a moe girl. "Funny. I didn't even think I had a conscience" She stated.
"Well of course you do, silly! Everyone's got a conscience!" Conscience said with a smile as she released Yan-chan's legs.
"Really? Then where were you when I was stabbing Osana-chan?! Where were you when I drowned Amai-chan in a pot of boiling soup!? Where were you when I dropped the stage light on Kizana-chan?!"
"Well… It's not like I can actually stop you! I can only tell you why it's wrong to do those things! But other then that, I have no power over you!" Conscience explained. "Besides… you'd just drown me out anyways. You always ignore my advice and guidance… So I gave up" She said with a frown.
"Hmph. Some conscience you are" Yan-chan insulted, her conscience hanging her head down in shame, before looking back up at yan-chan, her eyes filled with sadness. "Aww, you gonna give me the puppy dog eyes now? Keep them to yourself! I don't care if I hurt your little feelings! All I care about is finding a way out. Now either help me or get out of my way!" She said angrily, her conscious sighing as she tried to calm down, knowing how mean Yan-chan could be, yet knowing that under all that bitterness and anger… Really deep down, there's a somewhat good person in there… somewhere.
"You can't leave… She won't let you" Conscience stated vaguely.
"She? Who's she?" Yan-chan asked.
"It's a long story. Too long to tell actually. It'd be easier if you asked her yourself. She's looking for you anyways" Conscience said, offering her hand to Yan-chan. "I can take you to her and we can try to convince her to let you go, if you want. But… I don't really like going near her. She's very mean to me"
"Alright. Take me to… her" Yan-chan said as she took Conscience's hand, the two walking side by side, holding each others hands as they exited the house, walking down the street to meet… her. "So Conscience, what happened to me? How did I end up here?" Yan-chan asked as the two walked together, Yan-chan recognizing the route.
"Well, that's kind of my fault" Conscience admitted. "You see, you were about to do something very bad. Something that deep down, I know you'd never forgive yourself for. Do you remember what it was?"
"The rooftop… Jayson…" She said as she recalled the memory, then in a sudden flash of light, the street Yan-chan and Conscience were walking on was suddenly filled with people who appeared out of thin air! Upon closer inspection, Yan-chan was able to see that all these people looked to be both Jayson and herself! Them walking in pairs as they made their way to and from school grounds, this being the route they'd always walk.
"These are more of your memories" Conscience explained as Yan-chan watched the many Jayson's and Yan-chan's walk together on their way to and from school, hearing certain memories talk to each other, some of them telling stories, making jokes, or even complaining about schoolwork, all of them with a smile on their faces.
Jayson with a smile on his face as he walked beside Yan-chan everyday. Everyday since she met him, the two had always walked to school together, all these memories representing the many times they've taken this route to and from school over and over.
"He's not that bad of a guy, you know" Conscience interrupted as Yan-chan stared one of the Jayson's in the face, him not responding as he talked with the Yan-chan that stood at his side. She looked so happy in this memory. "I mean yeah, He's kinda mean and very violent. But he cares about you a whole lot. What you were going to do to him, after all he's done for you… it was wrong and you know it"
"Don't preach to me" Yan-chan said bitterly, angered by her conscience shoving morality and regret down her throat. "He lied to me. I trusted him… and he lied to me. He betrayed me" She said as a glare grew on her face.
"And if he told you the truth on day one? Would it be different then?" Conscience asked. "He hid how he felt about you, because he knew you'd hate him for it. He knew that if he told you how he felt before you even got to know him, you'd just kill him. Am I wrong?"
"No…"
"Besides, He's still your friend, right? You two have been through so much together. You can't just burn the bridge you've built over one tiny secret! You'd lose your best friend!"
"Shut up!" Yan-chan shouted with a growl, Conscience stepping back a little in fear. "Friend or no friend, he got in my way. Now I have to get rid of him"
"But is that going to help anything? I mean, Senpai still rejected you. Is killing Jayson really gonna make Senpai love you again?" Conscience asked, knowing that she was treading on thin ice. Yet, if she wasn't gonna ask that question, who was? "I don't think it will. I think It'll only make things worst. Because without Jayson by your side, you'll just go back to being alone again. And right now, one of the last things you need is to be alone" She said, Yan-chan sighing as she heard that.
"Whatever" She said as she walked right through the Jayson memory, continuing her walk towards the school.
"I'm not telling you all this to make you feel guilty! I'm just trying to show you why doing something so cruel is not going to help you! The only person you'll be hurting is yourself!"
"I don't care!"
"Jayson loves you but he also respects your personal space too! If you really don't feel the same way, just tell him that! But don't kill him!"
"Shut up!"
"Besides, he's worked himself to the bone for you! Don't you think he deserves a little leniency for that? I mean, no matter what happens, He'll still be your friend and You'll still be his!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Yan-chan yelled at the top of her lungs, Conscience gasping in shock as she took a step back, a look of terror on her face… a look that made Yan-chan sigh, guilt running through her. "I… I'm sorry. I understand that you're just doing your job and everything. But please, shut up!"
"Okay…" Conscience said as she retook Yan-chan's hand, continuing to guide her through her own mind as they passed by Yan-chan's various memories. "She's in there" Conscience said as she pointed at the large building ahead of them, that building being aka-demi academy, an area that Yan-chan remembered to be vibrant and colorful, now all gray and bleak.
"The school?" Yan-chan asked as she looked down at her conscience, wondering why here of all places.
"It's one of the most important places of your life right now. So this is where all the important and treasured memories are kept"
"Important memories? Like what?" Yan-chan asked.
"Okay. Okay. We'll try it again, but you better get it right this time" A male's voice said out of nowhere, Yan-chan listening to find that it came from one of the sakura trees near the entrance of the school, a memory of Jayson and Yan-chan sitting under it as Jayson held a book in his hands. "Okay, ready?" He asked.
"Ready!" The Yan-chan memory said.
"Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines, she sits. And where she sits, she shines" Jayson spoke in English, reading the sentence right out of the book in his hands.
Yan-chan knew this memory. It was over two weeks ago. She was struggling with English class. The main problem being her pronunciations when speaking the language. So to try and help, Jayson made her repeat many different tongue twisters in English, hoping that practice would help her speaking. While it wasn't an amazing improvement, it did help Yan-chan get a passing grade at the very least. If Jayson, a native English speaker, didn't assist her, she might have flunked.
She scoffed as she passed the memory by, walking forward and ignoring any and all other memories involving him.
"That memory isn't important to me" Yan-chan stated as she entered the school building.
"Well, maybe not that memory specifically, but there still is a lot of important ones here" Conscience explained. "Like… the time you murdered Amai-chan" She said as the layout of the school started to change, a large door appearing out of nowhere, opening to reveal itself as the cooking club's room, the memory of Yan-chan confronting and killing Amai Odayaka playing out before her very eyes.
"You don't have to kill me! I've gotten the message! I'll stay away! I promise! I'll do whatever you want! I'll give you whatever you want! Just please, don't kill me! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY SENPAI!" The memory played out as Yan-chan watched herself submerge Amai's head into the boiling pot, Conscience looking away in horror while clinging onto Yan-chan as she heard Amai's scream of pain, the memory soon vanishing as it reached it's conclusion.
"Conscience? You okay?" Yan-chan asked as she looked down, seeing the fear in Conscience's eyes as she clung to Yan-chan's legs, shaking like a scared child. "It's okay, Conscience. It's over" Yan-chan said, trying to comfort her.
"I-I'm sorry. It's just… seeing you do that, it's really scary. That's why I don't try to stop you when you do those things. I can't bring myself to see you do it. It's just so… terrifying" Conscience said as she removed herself from Yan-chan, calming down slightly with the help of a few deep breaths.
"I know" Yan-chan said with a sigh, not really liking what she saw either. That wasn't exactly one of her finest moments. "Come on, let's keep going" She said as she took Conscience's hand, the two of them continuing their walk through the halls, passing by even more memories of Yan-chan's.
They eventually made their way into a hall filled to the brim with large, green trees. The grass all the way up to their ankles in length. A thick fog all around as they made their way through. Yan-chan had a good idea of what memory this was.
"Alright… You win. I submit. I'll go back to America with you. I won't leave this time" Yan-chan heard Jayson's voice as the memory appeared out of thin air, Jayson laying on the ground in the middle of the forest with his hands in the air, Katherine standing over him, a loaded gun pointed at his forehead.
"Oh wow! You actually thought I came all the way to this pathetic little rice field of a nation just for you?! I knew you had a big ego, baby, but that's just crazy!"
"if you're not here for me, then why are you here?"
"It's simple. I'm here for your little Korean girlfriend. You just happened to be in my way" The memory played out, Yan-chan glaring daggers at it as her fists clenched in anger, remembering how horrible Katherine was to Jayson. And how she constantly got Yan-chan's nationality wrong. She's Japanese! Not Chinese! Not Korean! Japanese! And no! They are not the same thing!
"Yan-chan? Why!?" Jayson shouted.
"Yan-chan? What is that? Your little pet name for her?! As for the reason, well… I wouldn't want to ruin the joy of speculation. Now, any last words?" Katherine said as she aimed her gun at Jayson's forehead, Yan-chan able to see herself crawling from out of the forest behind Katherine, clutching an ax in her hand.
Now this memory, she wouldn't mind reliving.
"Jigoku de yaka" Jayson said.
"What? What does that mean?"
"It's Japanese for burn in hell!" The Yan-chan in the memory shouted as she rammed the ax into Katherine's back over and over, a grin coming onto the real Yan-chan's face, getting enjoyment out of seeing that whore die twice. "Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"
"Good job. Cut off the head for good measure"
"BITCH!" The Yan-chan within the memory screamed as she severed Katherine's head, the memory fading away as it came to a close.
"She was mean" Conscience stated, not looking away from the memory of Yan-chan killing Katherine, feeling that it was justified.
"Yeah… Yeah, she was" Yan-chan said as she and Conscience continued on, Yan-chan sighing as she remembered the rest of what had happened. Remembering how she and Jayson had spent hours wondering that death forest, looking for the way out. She remembered when they passed by that little swarm of fireflies, the two of them watching in amazement as the little bugs put on their beautiful light show for them.
She also remembered when they spent the night in that cabin, Yan-chan and Jayson both falling asleep by the fire.
Back there… she admitted that she'd trusted Jayson more then she trusted Senpai, stating that if she ever got stranded on a deserted island, she'd want Jayson there instead of Senpai.
The way Jayson looked at her after she said that. After she admitted that she thought herself safer with him instead of Senpai… Whatever damage Katherine did to Jayson, Yan-chan's words fixed it, completely renewing his strength, his resolve, his willpower… his purpose. Yan-chan to this day, still seeing that statement she made as one hundred percent true.
But looking back, now knowing how badly Jayson felt about her, she never thought about how big of an impact that statement made on him until now. But looking through Jayson's eyes, it must have made him feel unstoppable. Gave him the strength he needed to move on with his life, not focused on his past experiences with his abusive ex-lover. The lover he almost committed suicide over before Yan-chan saved him.
She sighed as she shook those thoughts away, feeling the guilt begin to come down on her. She tried her hardest to dismiss it. Tried her hardest to just… push it away. Jayson lied to her! Betrayed her! She should still feel angry! Not feel bad for him!
But… she still did, knowing fully well the suffering Jayson went through, having seen Katherine's abuse first hand.
What he went through, that was obviously ten times worst then what Yan-chan went through. She'd take a broken heart and rejection over mental and physical abuse any day. You should never hurt the one you love… or the people who love you.
But, Yan-chan was just about that, wasn't she? Jayson loved her… and she responded to his love with cruelty… Just like Katherine.
"I am nothing like her!" Yan-chan shouted out loud.
"Nothing like who?" Conscience asked, looking up at Yan-chan in confusion.
"Um… nobody" Yan-chan said, hiding her face from Conscience as the two continued walking through the school, passing by many other different memories as they made their way to the one that triggered this whole thing, going up to the rooftop.
Yan-chan was hesitant to open the door however, knowing fully well about the scene that was about to play out, not wanting to experience such pain and betrayal again. But… if she wanted to get out of here, she had to.
She sighed as she opened the door, walking onto the rooftop as the memory began forming right in front of her very eyes, Yan-chan sighing again as she watched it play out frame by frame, seeing everything from a different perspective, hearing herself yelling and screaming at Jayson as he tried to dodge her brutal barrage of questions, the look of fear in his eyes growing slightly more apparent as the confrontation went on.
"Alright… You got me. Yes, I'm in love with you" Yan-chan heard Jayson's confession again, the memory Yan-chan not even bothering to contain her anger.
"I KNEW IT! YOU PERVERTED, SUCKLING LITTLE PIG! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU!" The memory Yan-chan said, the real Yan-chan watching herself practically breakdown into an enraged fit, hearing her own words and wondering… Did she really say all that?
Did she really just blame Jayson for everything that went wrong? Did she really think that the only reason such things happened was because of him? Was he really the problem? Or did Yan-chan just want someone to take the blame? Did she turn Jayson into a fall guy? Did she project all her anger and hatred onto him with no justification whatsoever?
I mean, it wasn't like he told Senpai to reject her. It wasn't like he commanded Senpai to break her heart. Senpai's actions were something Jayson had no control over… but then why was Yan-chan blaming him for everything? Was that unjust? Was that wrong?
She was starting to feel as if it was.
"I'm sorry! It wasn't supposed to end up like this! You were supposed to let go of Senpai on your own! You were supposed to see that he doesn't love you the way I do! You were supposed to be happy with me!"
"Really?! Do I look happy to you?!" The memory played out, Yan-chan looking at herself in shock as she watched herself yell and scream. Was that really supposed to be her? Was that really how she acted? Was she really that irrational? That sensitive? That angered and enraged?
"I don't wanna see this again!" Yan-chan said as she tried to look away. Tried to hide herself from one of her darkest moments.
"I love you. I love you with all my heart" The memory played on, regardless of Yan-chan's discomfort.
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
"No! I don't want to see this again! Get it away! Make it stop!" Yan-chan shouted as the memory halted itself, the Jayson and Yan-chan within standing still, frozen in position like statues. It was almost as if this was some big movie and someone decided to pause it.
Yan-chan held a disturbed look as she gazed at the paused memory, seeing herself towering over Jayson, her knife at his neck as he leaned against the railing of the rooftop. Seeing this scene from a different perspective… it disturbed her greatly as she looked herself in the face, seeing all the anger, rage and hatred she held at that very moment, seeing herself at her very worst. Seeing herself go absolutely feral and attempt to hurt someone simply because he wouldn't stop praising her. Because he wouldn't stop expressing his love for her, pouring out his heart to her only to be rewarded with anger and violence.
"Is that… really supposed to be me?" Yan-chan asked as she looked into her own eyes. Eyes that were filled with rage and hatred. She then looked at the paused Jayson, seeing the fearful look on his face as his hands clutched the railing.
Though oddly, looking deeper, Yan-chan could see more then just fear. While yes, Jayson was obviously scared for his life, a deeper look revealed… peace, tranquility, ease. Maybe even a little relaxation. As if a gigantic weight was lifted from his shoulders, leaving him relieved and freed from his great burden. The burden of hiding his true feelings behind a locked box. The burden of hiding his love and affection.
Yan-chan just couldn't look away as she continued gazing at Jayson, reading almost every part of his face like it was some book. A book that told his story. A book that described his experiences. His challenges. His struggles. His pain.
"What have I done?" She asked herself as her hands held his face by the chin, them not phasing through this memory as Yan-chan just… lost herself in Jayson's eyes, eyes that were not only fearful of dying, but were also hurt to see that this was his reward for revealing a long kept secret. His reward for confessing his feelings to the woman he loved. Death. "Jayson… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" She said as she pressed her forehead to his, a small tear of remorse falling from one of her eyes.
"Oh boo hoo! Cry me a river, you weakling!" A voice sounding similar to herself insulted as Yan-chan raised her head up from Jayson's, her and Conscience looking around for the disembodied voice. "That backstabbing traitor lied to you! Tricked you! Ruined what was supposed to be our moment of triumph! And now you're gonna cry over him! You're pathetic!" The voice shouted as it began manifesting itself, appearing out of thin air behind Yan-chan.
"Who are you?!" Yan-chan said to the voice, seeing that it belonged to something… or someone who looked almost exactly like her! Same face. Same clothes! Same hair! It was literally as if Yan-chan was looking in a mirror! Only… this girl had something off about her. Something that set up more then just a few red flags. Yan-chan couldn't put her finger
"It's her!" She said.
"Aww. You mean you don't remember me? I'm you" She said.
"No. I'm me" Yan-chan responded with a wary glare, the girl who looked just like her chuckling at that.
"Well, I'm not all of you. What I meant is that I'm your other half" She stated, rolling her eyes at the fact that she had to simplify everything for Yan-chan to understand. "I'm the part of you that doesn't give a shit all that morality junk. The part that couldn't care less about the difference between right and wrong. That part of you that makes you who you are. The part that makes you do what you do. I'm you. You're me"
"That's not exactly a clear explanation" Yan-chan stated.
"Yeah, well it's the only one you're going to get!" Yan-chan's darker side said in annoyance. "To make it as simple to understand for you, I'll just spell it out because I know you're slow. I'm your instincts. Your senses. Your gut feeling. That good enough?" Yan-chan's… Instincts said, outright telling who she was, rather then explaining it.
"Don't trust her! She's mean!" Conscience warned.
"Oh god! It's you! Why the hell did you bring along that little girl scout?!" Instinct asked.
"What? Conscience? What's wrong with her?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all, especially if you happen to like annoying little girls shoving their morality lectures down your throat! It's wrong to do this! It's mean to do that! That's not very nice! I get it! I'm not a nice person! But that doesn't mean I should have some little girl preaching morality to me twenty-four seven!" Instinct said, mocking Conscience with her imitation. "Besides, that girl scout over there? She's dead weight to us. Useless. All she does is hold you back and prevent you from doing whatever you want. She rubs her moral superiority in our face and forces you to listen to it! She gets in the way! My way! Your way! Our way!"
"Well, gee! It's not like that's my job or anything!"
"Hmph. Reminds me of someone else who always gets in our way" Instinct said as she walked the memory of Jayson on the rooftop, it still being frozen like a statue. "I specifically told you to get rid of him! I told you to kill him! But you didn't listen to me, did you? And look where that got you!"
"Wait. You were the voice that kept shouting at me!?" Yan-chan asked, angered by the pain her instincts had put her through.
"I was one of those voices that shouted at you. Yes. But so was little miss kindness over there. In fact, she shouted louder then I did. So if you're gonna blame someone, blame her!" Instinct said, trowing the blame onto Conscience. "I don't know why you bothered listening to the little brat. You and I both know that we'd be better off with Jayson dead! He's the reason Senpai rejected you, remember?! Besides, we don't need him. We never did. All he did was hold us back! All he did was hold you back! Kept you on a leash just like that pathetic little girl you call a Conscience! Can't you understand?! They're keeping you on this leash because they know how powerful you are without them! Their afraid of you! Jayson's afraid of you!"
"But… Jayson's my friend" Yan-chan stated.
"Yes. Yes he was. A friend that betrayed you! A friend that stabbed you in the back! A friend that prevented you from being with Senpai!" Instinct stated. "Who needs friends when you can have a man like him?! Senpai is more then enough for both you and me. We don't need friends when we have him"
"But… Senpai doesn't love me anymore. He never did"
"Then we'll make him love you again! We'll show him the error of his ways! Show him why it was wrong to reject us, break our heart and make us cry! And we'll also show Jayson why it was wrong to betray us!" Instinct shouted. "I'm thinking a slow and painful death is more then enough for him, right? We'll tie him to a chair in the basement, keep him on bread and water for about a week while we carve our name into every part of his body! Let his wounds get infected too! Maybe deprive him of sleep while we're at it! Then, when he's begging! Pleading for us to take his life… We'll just leave him to die of starvation! A perfect revenge!" Instinct said with a sinister giggle.
"That's a horrible thing to do!" Conscience shouted, utterly disturbed by such a cruel method of 'payback.'
"Sadly, that's just who we are. That's who you are" Instinct said to Yan-chan, standing by her side. "It's been that way ever since the day you were born. You were bred to be a killer. Groomed to be a murderer. It's who you are. What you are. Violence. Blood. Death. They're your birthright. Don't fight who you are" Instinct said as she walked towards the frozen memory of Jayson and Yan-chan's fight on the rooftop, taking the knife out of the memory Yan-chan's hand and offering it to the real one.
"What's this?" She asked.
"You know what this is" Instinct said as she held it by the blade, the hilt offered to Yan-chan. "Go on. Finish what you've started. Take the knife and stab Jayson. Kill him. Do that, and when you wake up, you can do the same thing to the real Jayson. You know you want to" She said, tempting Yan-chan.
She hesitated a little before moving her hand forward, grabbing the knife by the hilt and taking her place in the memory on the rooftop, preparing to replay the memory herself, only with a different outcome.
"That's a good girl. Go on. Do what you do best" Instinct encouraged as Yan-chan looked her victim in the eyes, that frozen face still showing fear towards Yan-chan. Fear of who she really was deep down. Fear of the monster within. A monster she's always been since birth. But as she stared down the memory of Jayson, a question pierced it's way into Yan-chan's mind. Why?
Why was she like this? How did she grow to be like this? She highly doubted that it was just the way she came into this world. She highly doubted that this was always her default disposition. Then she started thinking about whether or not these voices, Conscience and Instinct, had any impact on that. What if it was more then just subtle influence? What if it was control? Outright control of the way Yan-chan thought? Outright control of the way she acted? Outright control of her? Then it all hit her at once. The realization came and hit her harder then a semi-truck.
"No" She refused to kill, moving the knife away from Jayson's neck.
"I'm sorry… What?!" Instinct asked, surprised by Yan-chan's defiance. "What do you mean by no? I told you to kill! So kill!" She demanded.
"No!" Yan-chan said again, disobeying her instincts. "I'm not your little puppet!" She shouted as she pointed the knife towards her instead.
"Puppet? What are you going on about?" Instinct asked, not reacting to having the knife pointed at her.
"You can't fool me anymore. I know you. I know who you really are" Yan-chan said, finally seeing through the ruse. "Ever since I was a little girl, I always heard this voice in the back of my head. It just… clung to my brain like a tumor! Constantly telling me what to do! How to feel! Yelling at me whenever I disobeyed it!"
"Really? Is that so?" Instinct asked, a glare beginning to form on her face.
"And then one day, the day after I first saw Senpai, I saw him with this one girl. She got me so angry. So infuriated. Throughout the whole day, I contemplated ways to get rid of her. Ways to keep her away from Senpai. And then I heard the voice again… Just kill her it said. And I listened. I obeyed mindlessly and took that girl's life, never regretting it"
"Wow. What a riveting tale" Instinct said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "I've heard the story a bunch of times before though, so I'm not listening"
"The voice that I heard… It was yours" Yan-chan stated, Conscience gasping in fear as soon as she heard that, quickly going to Yan-chan's side for protection.
"N-No! No, you're lying!" Instinct quickly denied, her anger growing after receiving such an accusation.
"Yes. You're the voice! The tumor! You're the reason I'm like this! The reason I'm so empty! The reason I'm so cold and cruel! You made me like this! You took a normal, innocent girl and turned her into… me! A monster!" Yan-chan shouted as she continued pointing the knife at her instincts. "No… You're not my instincts. You're someone else. You're my anger! My hatred! My insecurities! My fears! All the worst parts of me bundled together into one package! You're my insanity!" She said, her 'instincts' chuckling at such a statement, that chuckling droning out and slowly but surely turning into an insane fit of deranged laughter as Yan-chan's 'instinct' revealed It's true identity… Insanity.
"Bravo! Good for you! You solved the mystery! Why is Ayano Aishi such a mental case? Because of me… Insanity" She said, a disturbing giggle escaping her as Yan-chan gripped the hilt of the knife tighter, watching Insanity's eyes turn from basic black to glowing red as a wicked and sadistic grin came to her face, Conscience hiding behind Yan-chan, shivering in fear. "Ooh! There's that angry look. Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you glare, Ayano?" Insanity asked, her wicked grin remaining as Yan-chan stared her inner evil in the face, her glare showing that she felt no fear.
"It was you all along. You're the reason I'm like this!" She stated. "all this time, I thought I was born broken. But now I know. You broke me!"
"You're welcome!" Insanity responded. "Really, you should be thanking me. If it wasn't for me, you would have lived a bland, plain and boring life. A life filled to the brim with mundane concerns and worries. But thanks to me, your life is something completely different! The life you live now, it's exciting! It's dangerous! It's eventful! In a way, I saved you. Saved you from being one of the worst things possible… Average"
"I don't recall ever wanting to be saved. Especially by someone like you" Yan-chan spat. "Don't try to make me think you cared about me! You ruined my life just so you could take control of me! You say Conscience and Jayson are the ones keeping me on a leash?! Even if that was true, it's a leash you're holding! A leash you're using to control me!"
"hehe… Maybe so. What are you gonna do about it? Kill me? You can't!" Insanity stated. "I'm a part of you, dumbass! A major part of you. I taught you everything you know. I shaped you into who you are! You kill me, and you're going to be losing a very important part of yourself"
"You're a part of me that I don't need anymore!" Yan-chan shouted as she charged at her Insanity, her knife ready to stab forward so that she may rid herself of this burden on her mind. However, her insanity wasn't going down without a fight as she grabbed Yan-chan by her wrists, moving to grab the knife by the hilt in an attempt to rip it out of Yan-chan's hands, the two of them wrestling over it.
"You are so easy to bait! You know that?!" Insanity asked as the two struggled to take the knife from each other. "I've been waiting for this day! Waiting for you to come here so I can kill you and take your place! Then I'll be free to experience the world and you'll be the disembodied voice in MY head!" She shouted.
"What?!" Yan-chan asked as she tried her hardest to hold unto the knife.
"Ever since you were born, I've been struck here. Seventeen years of living in this tiny little pit you call a mind! Watching you live it up in the real world while I'm stuck in your subconscious!" Insanity ranted. "Well no more! I'm getting out of here and you're going to take my place after I kill you! Oh, but don't worry. You won't actually die! You'll just be trapped in your own subconscious mind for the rest of your existence! You'll still be able to see and hear everything, but I'll be the one in control! It'll be my body! My mind! And you? You'll just be a little voice in my head!" Insanity shouted as she ripped the knife out of Yan-chan's hands, slashing her on one of her sides, causing her blood to spill as she fell to the ground, Insanity giggling madly as she stood over Yan-chan. "I was expecting you to put up more of a fight. I didn't wanna believe it at first, but I guess it's true. You've gotten soft, beautiful. Lost your touch"
"Leave her alone!" Conscience shouted as she got in between Yan-chan and Insanity, her arms extended out to show Insanity that she wouldn't allow any harm to come to Yan-chan.
"What do you think you're doing, little girl!? Out of my way before I hurt you too!"
"No!" Conscience said in defiance, her desire to do the right thing and protect Yan-chan being far greater then her fear of Insanity.
"I SAID MOVE!" Insanity shouted as she stabbed Conscience in the chest, cruelly throwing her to the side afterwords.
"Conscience!" Yan-chan called as she watched Conscience fall to the ground, twitching and shaking as she laid there, her blood leaking out of the wound in the center of her chest, spreading on the ground. She was still alive though, the cut not being deep enough to cause fatal damage. And even then, Conscience was just a perceived manifestation of a disembodied voice, so it wasn't like she was actually in any pain… hopefully.
"Oh what? Don't tell me you've actually started to care about that little do-gooder! Tell you what, since you two are such good friends, I'll finish her off after I get done killing you! That way, when you're trapped in my subconscious, You'll have a little buddy to play with!" Insanity said as she tried to take a stab at Yan-chan, her quickly grabbing Insanity by the shoulders and ramming their heads together, Insanity stunned by the impact long enough for Yan-chan to pick up and carry Conscience, the two running away from Insanity in order to seek shelter and forge a plan to kill her before she killed them.
Yan-chan just kept running as fast as she could as she carried her Conscience in her arms, Insanity quickly recovering from her head trauma and chasing after the two, ranting and screaming about the many ways she'd make Yan-chan suffer for trying to run.
She just ignored all of it as she focused on getting as far away as possible, running by many of her own memories as she sought shelter and safety.
"You don't mind if I borrow this, do you?" Insanity asked as she passed by the memory of Yan-chan killing Katherine, pulling the blood soaked ax out of Katherine's back and taking it with her as she chased after Yan-chan and Conscience, determined to kill them so she may be the one in control of their body and be free to wreak havoc on the outside world so that she may earn Senpai's love through blood and sacrifice.
Yan-chan and Conscience were eventually able to take shelter in the headmaster's office of the school, closing the double doors and locking them before working together to turn over the headmaster's desk, using it to barricade the door.
The two then stayed silent as they heard Insanity pass by, hearing the heavy stomping of her feet from beyond the door, the ax grinding against the floor as she looked for them. She then came right to the door, Yan-chan hearing her grip the doorknob and turn it slowly, chuckling a little once she found it to be locked. She then knocked gently on the door, Yan-chan and Conscience growing tense as a result.
"I know you're in there" Insanity said in a singsong tone, it being especially chilling to Conscience and Yan-chan. "Little pigs. Little pigs, let me come in"
"G-Go away!" Conscience shouted, Yan-chan quickly using her hand to cover Conscience's mouth, silencing her.
"Not by the hair on your chinny-chin-chin?" Insanity responded as she lifted the ax above her head. "Then I'll huff! And I'll puff! And I'll blow! Your house! IN!" She screamed as the ax came crashing onto the door, bits of wood breaking off as a result, Yan-chan and Conscience quickly backing away as Insanity kept ramming her ax through, the door getting weaker and weaker with every strike. "I can't wait until I get to kill you! Then I can finally be free of this horrible little pit you call a mind! There's a whole world out there! Waiting for me!" She shouted as half the door was destroyed, a large hole in the center allowing Insanity to see inside the room.
"What do we do?!" Yan-chan asked as she watched Insanity try to break the door down, the ax going completely through as Yan-chan struggled to figure out a plan. If only Jayson were here. He'd know what to do. He always knows what to do.
"Ayano!" Conscience called as she pointed at the wall at the back of the office, showing Yan-chan the mounted, ornate katana case, the sword resting within.
"That's it!" Yan-chan said as she tried to get at the sword, the lock preventing her from opening the lid. But the glass… the glass was just glass. Yan-chan then grinned as an idea hit her, cracking her knuckles before slamming her fist into the display case multiple times, trying to break the glass lid open as Insanity grew closer and closer to breaking through the door.
"You know what's the first thing I'm gonna do after I take control of your body?! I'm gonna find our good friend, Jayson and finally get him out of the way! I won't kill him immediately though! I'll have a little fun with him first!" Insanity said as the glass lid of the display case finally started cracking under Yan-chan's force, her continuing her assault on the case in order to get at the katana inside.
"I'll egg him on a little bit! Make him think I feel the same way and return his feelings! I'll Play with him for awhile! I'll wear the kinkiest lingerie I can get my hands on! Spread myself all over his bed! Waiting for him to come to me! I'll tease him constantly! keep him over the edge! But I'll also make him feel safe and secure enough so that he'll let his guard down! I'll make him strip naked right in front of me! And as his back is turned! I'll stab him in it! And as he's drawing his last breath… I'll blow him a sweet kiss. Oh! He'll love that! The ultimate tease and denial!" Insanity raved as Yan-chan finally broke through the glass, her hand grabbing the sword by the hilt and pulling it out of the case as Insanity finally broke through the door, charging at Yan-chan, her ax ready to land a fatal blow as Yan-chan raised her sword.
"Leave my friend alone, bitch!" Yan-chan shouted as the tip of the sword pierced through Insanity's chest, coming out on the other side as the blood began gushing out, Insanity falling to the floor as Yan-chan pulled the sword out before ramming the tip of the blade through Insanity's body again, multiple slashes and gashes forming all over her chest as the pool of blood she laid in spread out all over the floor. "Die! Die and get out! Get out of my body! Get out of my head! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" Yan-chan screamed as she kept impaling Insanity's corpse over and over with the katana, the blade soaked in blood as Yan-chan rammed it through Insanity's neck, breathing in and out deeply as she stood over the dead body, feeling mentally exhausted… literally. "Good bye… Old friend" Yan-chan said after calming down, collapsing onto her knees, kneeling over her own insanity.
"Ayano, are you okay?" Conscience asked, Yan-chan responding with a deep sigh.
"Yeah… I'm alright" She said. "In fact, I actually feel pretty good. It's almost as if everything that was bothering me had just vanished. I feel… I feel free. Like I just became my own person again!" She stated as she stood up from Insanity's corpse.
"Good for you!" Conscience said, proud of Yan-chan for facing her inner demons head on and winning. "Just think about it! With her gone, me and you can work together towards making you a better person! A nicer person! We'll turn you over a new leaf! And who knows? Maybe when this all over, you'll become a pacifist!"
"Hehe… right. About that" Yan-chan said as she gripped the hilt of the sword again, lifting it out of Insanity's corpse. "You see, I don't really like the idea of little voices in my head, telling me how to feel. How to act. I'm tired of it actually!"
"Um… excuse me?"
"How do I know you won't try to control me too? Sorry, Conscience. But I'm not taking that chance" Yan-chan said as she pointed the tip of the sword at Conscience. "It's nothing personal, really. I'm just being cautious"
"Ayano… Please, don't do this" Conscience begged as she backed away slowly, Yan-chan getting closer and closer with every step. "Please. I know there's good in you! I can feel it! Deep down… under all that anger and hatred, there's a very kind and sweet girl inside. Let her out, Ayano. Please!"
"No" Yan-chan said as she impaled Conscience with the katana, the tip of the blade coming out her back, a small tear falling from her eyes as Yan-chan pulled the blade out, Conscience falling to the ground… Dead, unable to influence Yan-chan anymore. "No more voices! This is my body! My mind! I'll do what I want with it!" She said as she dropped the sword onto the ground, having no further use for it.
"Now, how do I get out of here?" She asked herself as she looked around, seeing no clear exit in sight. She then lost her balance as she felt the entire school rumble, almost as if it was about to be hit by an earthquake! It was then that she noticed the floor starting to… crack? Yeah. It was cracking! The walls too! The whole world around her looking like a mirror that was about to shatter!
And that's what happened. In less then a second, the world around her shattered like glass, breaking into thousands upon thousands of tiny shards. The deaths of both Insanity and Conscience causing her mind to shatter, her consciousness falling into what felt like a deep, dark abyss. A bottomless, black void with nothing in sight. Her just… falling and falling.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to kill both her inner good and inner evil at the same time. She could kind of understand the consequences for that now, one of those consequences being the literal shattering of her own mind. Oh well! Live and learn, you know?
So… what was this? Was this her mind literally shattering due to both sides of her inner self dying? Was this the result of her purging away the voices that haunted her since birth? If so, what happens now? Will she wake up feeling exactly the same? Or will this Yan-chan die and a new one be born in her place? That new one not knowing anything about her past? Having a completely different personality? A completely different mind? Would she wake up with amnesia? Would she be trapped in some sort of coma as her consciousness just keeps falling and falling into this abyss of darkness?
After everything Yan-chan's been through, such an ending doesn't really sound too bad. Call her crazy, but she could see the appeal in an endless sleep. I mean, who doesn't love sleeping? She sighed at that thought. Bad joke.
In truth, this falling thing was actually kind of relaxing to Yan-chan. It felt good to just lay back and fall after all that fighting against her inner evil. It felt good to just let go for once. Let go and let the darkness in her mind surround her as she fell deeper into the abyss, a now peaceful feeling deep within her as she breathed in a deep, relaxing breath, stress and worry leaving her as she continued her fall down the abyss.
As she fell deeper and deeper into the void… she swore she could see something coming after her. Squinting hard, it looked to be a small orb of light, it shining brightly through the darkness, coming towards her.
She reached her hand out to touch it as it came to her, only to feel her palm grabbed by someone! Her being pulled up from the void and closer to them, the small orb of light growing bigger and bigger until it manifested itself into the form of two people… Senpai and Jayson.
They both stood together, side by side as they brought out their hands to Yan-chan, begging her to take them, their bodies glowing with a bright, heavenly light.
She sighed in relaxation as she took both their hands in her own, feeling warmth coursing through her as she closed her eyes, the two pulling her back up from the dark void and into the blinding light above.
She then opened her eyes to find herself standing in some sort of large field. The grass up to her ankles in height. The sky as clear as can be with not a cloud to be seen as the warm sun shined down, the gentle wind blowing past Yan-chan as she felt her skin bask in the natural light.
It was here she noticed that she was finally able to see color again! She could see the lush and verdant green of the grass. The clear blue in the sky. The yellow light of the sun. All of it being more vibrant and colorful then ever before.
She then noticed a small hill in the distance, a large sakura tree at the very top, it's pink cherry blossoms being carried by the wind as they fell from the tree.
Yan-chan began walking towards the hill, soon reaching the top, standing beside the large tree as she looked on at the plains before her. She then sat at the very base of the tree, it providing perfect shade from the sun.
She then looked to her sides, seeing Jayson and Senpai sitting under the tree on opposite sides, Yan-chan being in the middle. A small smile grew on her face as she took both their hands into her own before pulling them closer, all three of them sitting under the large sakura tree together, looking over the valley of glass below the hill.
"Jayson… Senpai… I can fix this. I can fix all of this" She said to them, not getting a response back. "I can make sure all three of us get a happy ending. I just… I need more time"
"No rush" She heard the echo of Senpai's voice first.
"Take all the time you need" Jayson's second.
"Ayano… We'll always be here for you" They both said simultaneously, Yan-chan feeling the world fade away as she regained consciousness, returning to reality.