Thanks for all your lovely reviews, sorry if I haven't had time to reply.

Well, another flashback, but this one's just for fun. Sorry once again this is late – I was trying to combine it with the next chapter to give you all a super update but it didn't work out, but the next chapter already has 1000 words written so it should be up sooner than two weeks (unless these next few exams kill me, which is quite likely). Anyway, I'll let you read now :p

Chapter 25

Ianto's fiftieth trip in the Tardis had been interesting to say the least. Unfortunately – or maybe fortunately, he'd been so concussed he didn't actually remember much of it.

They'd gone back in time; that much he knew, to somewhere in the early 1800s – but without the dark ages the technology was similar to 'present day' Earth's – on a planet named something completely unpronounceable. Ianto had rushed out of the Tardis, anxious to see his first alien planet, and consequently tripped over his own feet and fallen face first into the equivalent of a parking metre. Suffice to say the parking metre had not been happy, and had promptly arrested him for assault.

Then things got fuzzy…

The Doctor groaned as he watched Mr. Jones being handcuffed by the local policeman, who was doubling up as some sort of traffic metre. This was so not what he needed.

Mr. Jones himself wasn't being particularly helpful, letting himself being dragged off semi-conscious to goodness knows where. Very unhelpful if you asked the Time Lord. Which of course no one did.

So now he'd just have to step in and save his foolish new friend.

DWTWDWTW

Ianto groaned as he woke up, wondering why he felt like he'd been drinking for at least a week, and pondering why Jack had let him get that hammered. He squinted up at the ceiling; it was a grotesque green colour, with pieces of what appeared to be string trailing from it. He was fairly sure he didn't recognise it anyway; the Welshman had a pretty extensive ceiling catalogue (very useful after being knocked out or drinking oneself unconscious, it was always good to know what to expect when waking up, whether it be an amused Captain or a pissed off college mate). This ceiling had not been encountered before.

"Where am I?" He asked the world in general.

"Yhruggfthiero." The world in general answered, with a voice suspiciously like a certain Time Lord's. "We're in prison, well technically it's a confinement cell, but that basically boils down to the same thing really, they just call it that so you don't feel so bad."

"Doctor?" He croaked out, as reality – what was left of it – bowled him over. Again.

"Yes, that's me."

Ianto groaned again at the other man's exuberant reaction.

"Talk quieter. Head hurts."

"Oh, right, sorry." The voice lowered by about point zero two of a decibel. A brief amount of silence followed. "So, now you're awake, how do you feel about getting out of here?"

"Ugg." Ianto replied.

"Ugg?" The Doctor frowned at his Companion's lack of enthusiasm. "Come on Mr. Jones; your first jailbreak, what could be more exciting?"

Ianto sat up, and stared.

"Jail?"

"Haven't you been listening?" The Doctor chided. "You assaulted a government official, and are currently awaiting sentencing – no such thing as trials here – after which you'll probably be executed."

"Jailbreak it is."

His fears somewhat allayed, Ianto sat up and looked around properly for the first time, but there honestly wasn't much to assess. Everywhere was painted the same disgusting green colour, which he was fairly sure was to persuade the inmates that they really didn't want to spend anymore time in such a cell if necessary. A rather good crime deterrent. The only break from the ghastly shade was the door, which was a much nicer lemon yellow.

"So, plan?" he asked.

"I'm, err, getting there," came the hesitant reply from the cross legged man on the floor next to him. Ianto couldn't resist a groan at that.

"Brilliant."

"Oi, I said I'm getting there!"

"I don't want to be getting there! I want to be getting out! You just told me they're going to kill is!"

"Actually, just you…but I probably shouldn't have mentioned that…" Ianto turned his suddenly panicked gaze on the Doctor, who immediately turned on his reassuring mode. "We are getting out of here, okay? Trust me." Ianto felt like pointing out that he didn't really have much choice in the matter, but decided not to say anything. "In fact, we're getting out right now."

They both turned as the door clicked, a sure sign that it was about to be opened from the other side.

"What's the plan?" the Welshman whispered, as their prison was slowly breached.

The Doctor grinned at him manically. "What else but…RUN!"

And they were off.

Ianto didn't bother to spare a thought for the poor guard the two of them had just barrelled past and how the poor green furry creature would probably be punished for letting them escape. Because honestly, these people were going to kill him and his head really hurt!

Although to be honest there weren't all that many thoughts going through the young man's head except 'owww…' and he simply trusted his feet to keep following the Doctor no matter what.

Which was why, when the Doctor stopped, he collided straight into his back.

"Oof!"

"Agg-"

"SHUSH!" The Doctor hissed urgently, and pulled him back behind a handy cupboard, out of the way of the two guards who's just turned the corner.

Ianto raised an eyebrow, and then groaned as he made a mental note not to do that again with a concussion.

The Doctor put his finger to his lips before creeping out of their hiding place (once the guards had passed) and gesturing for him to follow.

DWTWDWTW

"Did you fall over a government official too?" Ianto finally broke about half an hour's worth of silence; or at least that was how long it felt like they'd been scuttling around the base, avoiding the patrols and looking for the exit. He found it slightly bizarre that some kind of alarm hadn't been sounded, but maybe the guard hadn't wanted to alert his (or her, or its) superiors to his (or her, or its) incompetence.

"Hmm? What? No, course not."

Ianto raised an eyebrow – just a tiny bit though, so it didn't hurt so much. "So what are you doing here then?"

"Rescuing you of course."

"Really? It kind of looked like you'd been arrested too; what with you being in the cell and all."

The Doctor suddenly looked sheepish. "I, ahh, umm…" he trailed off. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Avoiding the question are we?" Ianto smirked. "C'mon Doctor; it can't be as bad as falling over an alien parking meter."

"I think there's an exit right about…ahah! Here we go!"

Ianto rolled his eyes as the Time Lord changed the topic, but simply changed it back. "Tell me, or I'll bug you forever."

The Doctor paused outside a door surprisingly marked 'Exit', and appeared to consider the proposal (threat). "Tongue-shaking." And with that he pulled open the door, pushed Ianto through it, and yelled "RUN!" over the sudden wail of a claxon.

Ianto turned back to see the Doctor a few metres behind, being pursued by some rather aggressive looking humanoids in black leather and motor biking helmets.

"What the hell are they?" He called back, eyes returning to the path in front of him, which was covered in small purple flowers.

"Slabs!" came the reply.

"What's a slab?"

"Not nice!"

Ianto kept running, and breathed a sigh a relief when the Tardis finally came into view in the alien parking lot they seemed to be in. It looked rather ridiculous next to all the flash spaceships and hovercrafts, but Ianto wasn't complaining – the Time Lord's ship was bigger on the inside after all.

He reached the doors and burst through – thankfully they were unlocked this time – with the Doctor hot on his heels.

"Tongue-shaking? Again?" He asked as soon as the doors were closed and they were safe inside. And once he'd got his breath back.

The Doctor refused to look at him as he fiddled with something on the console. "Not that kind of tongue-shaking."

"What? Oh…oh…" Ianto choked as he finally got the implication. "You got arrested for snogging?"

At the lack of reply he burst out into laughing.

Then he passed out.

DWTWDWTW

In his fifth week Ianto couldn't stand it any longer.

"How can you not like coffee?" He'd been forced to live the entire time so far on one meagre bag of coffee beans he'd found which he'd been rationing over the weeks to last longer. It wasn't ideal, but he always forgot to ask the Time Lord for more beans, and he got a regular caffeine fix from the energy drinks he made sure to pick up whenever they were off-world. Which was only when they weren't saving worlds or being pursued by angry mobs: i.e. not very often.

The Doctor looked up from his copy of Universe Weekly at the exclamation and took off his glasses, twiddling them between his thumb and forefinger. Something the Welshman had noticed he did a lot for no apparent reason.

"It just tastes…gritty." He made a face at the thought.

"Gritty?" Ianto asked incredulously, bowled over by what he would almost consider sacrilege. "You think it tastes…gritty?"

"Hmm, I've never understood your species' fondness for it." Ianto glared at him as he spoke.

"Kitchen, now."

A few minutes later the Time Lord was sat at the kitchen table, looking very much like a school boy being taught a lesson after saying something silly (which was essentially what was happening). He growled at the cup of coffee in front of him as Mr. Jones smirked from across the table, unwilling to admit that the drink tasted a damn sight better than he was used to.

"So…what's the verdict?"

"It's…fine."

Ianto rolled his eyes at the Doctor's petulant response.

"It's better than fine."

"It's better than fine." The older man repeated, forcing the words through his clenched teeth.

"I'd go as far as saying it's the best coffee you've ever had."

"I still prefer tea." The Doctor looked up to see his Companion staring at him, horrified. Silence stretched on between them, the air taught like a bow string, waiting to be set off to let the arrow hit the target.

"You're nuts." Thunk went the arrow. The Doctor grinned.

"I know; isn't it brilliant!"

Ianto smiled back, and made a mental note to pick up some nicer tea bags than the ones they currently had. If his friend was going to live in denial he was going to bloody well enjoy it while he had the chance.

DWTWDWTW

"What's this one called then?" Ianto asked as he followed the Doctor around the alien planet. The Time Lord paused in his wandering and turned back to look at him.

"What's what called?"

"The planet…"

"Oh, right, yes: 169872."

Ianto blinked.

"Pardon?"

"169872."

"That's…wrong."

The Doctor shrugged.

"There are only so many planets you can name before you run out of alphabet."

"Not if you're a Dsfraggigon." Ianto thought back to the last planet they'd visited, where the alphabet had contained over 3000 letters, and the 'people' had rather sharp pitchforks.

"Luckily most of us aren't."

"They had very good dental hygiene."

"They had fangs!" The Doctor's eyes widened comically.

"Well-cleaned fangs." Ianto retorted. "Which is more than I can say for most of the species I've met."

"Blimey you're fussy! I show you the universe and you complain about their fillings! You're still upset about that Roxis."

"Its teeth were rotting. In its mouth."

"You shouldn't have kissed it then."

"It kissed me!"

"You kissed back."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did-urgh! You could keep that up all day couldn't you?"

The Doctor grinned in response.

"Yep."

"Fine. I give up."

The grin changed to a pout.

"Spoilsport."

Within the next two hours they had some tea and scones, prevented a nuclear disaster, and did an awful lot of running.