Christmas Break
A/N: Thank you to all those who read and reviewed my last chapter and for your get well wishes and for staying with my stories despite the seemingly endless update delays. I can officially say that life has gotten the better of me this time and I am struggling to keep up with my stories but I will not give up and I will keep churning out updates as quickly as I can. Seeing as the last chapter was very nerve wracking I thought I would allow the characters a little respite in this one and have some sentimental Christmasy moments instead. I never intended the Christmas story to last this long :-( but never the less I hope you enjoy this little bit of calm before the storm. ;-)
Chapter 25
Steve was getting more agitated. He still felt woozy and lightheaded from the strong painkillers but something about Mike was bothering him. He couldn't quite explain what it was but he needed to see Mike for himself to be able to settle. He felt there was something that Jeannie wasn't telling him and Mike's angry tone had left him feeling anxious.
"Jeannie, where's Mike? Where has he gone? Why won't you tell me Jeannie?"
"He hasn't gone anywhere Steve. You must calm down. Mike's ok, please believe me."
Mike stood up and leaning heavily on the walking stick he reached up and got his coat and hat, his anger at Whitaker ruling his head but as he reached the front door, Steve's desperate voice reached his ears. It was just what Mike needed to hear, to snap him out of his rash decision. Steve needed him. Whitaker would have to wait. Hanging his coat and hat back up he pulled himself back together and limped back into the living room and over towards Steve and Jeannie. Jeannie looked relieved to see him as it had taken all her strength to prevent Steve from getting up and looking for Mike himself.
"Hey, hey now. What's going on here? What's all the fuss about?"
Steve saw Mike and stopped struggling against Jeannie's grip. He too looked relieved when he saw Mike but he was still very uneasy.
"Mike? Where were you? Who were you shouting at? Mike, I was worried about you."
Mike took Jeannie's place beside Steve and sat heavily on the coffee table and placed a calming hand on the young man's right shoulder.
"Now, now, there's no reason to be worried. I was just out in the hall and I was just venting a little steam at Olsen that's all. You know how we can both get sometimes. Equally as stubborn as each other. Why on earth were you worried about me, huh?"
"I don't know ... I just had a bad feeling ... You sure you're ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine. You were probably just having another bad dream, that's all. Just calm down now and take it easy. Steve, you're breathing way too fast. Slow it down for me, breathe nice and slowly. That's it. "
Mike watched as Steve calmed down and he felt guilty for alarming his partner so much.
"That's better. How are you feeling now?"
"Ok Mike. Sorry for overreacting. "
"That's alright. How's your shoulder? Are you still feeling the effects of those pills?"
"A little yeah. But the shoulder's not hurting me. Why is it so dark? Did I sleep all day?"
Jeannie looked at Mike and he glanced up at her briefly, knowing they had to tread carefully from here on, not to give the game away and worry Steve unnecessarily.
"No, you only slept for a couple of hours. I just thought if I pulled the curtains, it might help you sleep longer that's all. You need all the rest you can get young man. Why don't you try to go back now and get some more sleep, huh?"
But Steve was still too on edge to even consider going back to sleep. For reasons he didn't fully understand yet, he was happier keeping a close eye on Mike instead.
"No, I'm awake now. I don't want to go back to sleep." Steve flustered.
"Ok, alright if that's what you want. "
Mike was concerned by how agitated Steve was and knew he had to take his mind off whatever was causing it. Noticing the torn shirt that Steve was still wearing from the previous night in the ER, he decided on his first plan of action.
"Say we need to get you out of that torn shirt. I brought some clothes from your apartment last night. Let's change you into something more comfortable. What do you say buddy boy?"
But instead of distracting his partner, Steve instead looked horrified.
"You mean take off the sling? Oh Mike, I don't know ... I don't think that's a good idea."
"Steve, it's alright. They showed me how to take it off and put it back on in the Hospital last night. There's nothing to worry about. Jeannie, get some clothes out of Steve's case for me will you please?"
Jeannie went to Steve's case and smiled when she saw the size of it and the amount of stuff that Mike had packed for their visitor. Opening it up she saw too how quickly Mike had packed it, as everything was thrown in rather haphazardly. Finding a t-shirt and a tracksuit bottoms Jeannie returned to her father and handed him the clothes. She could see how worried Steve seemed to be about having the sling removed and couldn't help feeling anxious herself.
"Thanks sweetheart. Ok Steve are you ready?"
"No... " Steve admitted honestly and Mike chuckled.
"Come on, it won't be as bad as you think. I'm just going to undo the sling first."
As Mike reached over to undo the Velcro straps, Steve put up his good arm to stop him.
"Mike, no, it's gonna hurt ... "
"Steve ... Trust me now, ok? It will just take a minute. If I didn't think I could do it then I wouldn't even try. You know that right?"
Steve did trust Mike implicitly and so he took a deep breath and put his blocking arm back down again.
"Ok ... Just take it easy, alright?"
"Don't worry ... I'll be careful."
Mike started to remove the torn shirt but Steve panicked again momentarily.
"Mike, just cut it off will you please? It's already torn so it doesn't matter."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah ... Just cut it ... "
Jeannie fetched a scissors from the kitchen and Mike cut the shirt away and removed it. Then he loosened the sling and heard Steve take a sharp intake of breath as he did. He got Jeannie to hold Steve's arm steady and then he gently put the t-shirt over the arm and up over the sore shoulder. Steve's obvious nervousness was rubbing off on Mike and he could feel his own hands shaking a little as he managed to get the t-shirt over Steve's head and pulled it down over the intensive bruising at the back of Steve's shoulder. His fingers brushed over the bruising as he attempted to get the t-shirt down and Steve jumped and stifled a yell.
"Sorry Steve, we're almost done. Just to get your good arm in now."
Steve duly obliged and the t-shirt was on, much to the relief of all three present. Then Mike very carefully reattached the sling and tightened the strap.
"Is that as tight as it was before Steve?"
"I think it was a little tighter, Mike."
Mike tightened it and Steve nodded that it was ok. With that ordeal over with, Mike could see tiny beads of perspiration on Steve's brow and felt sorry for having to put him through that. Seeing the tracksuit bottoms in Mike's hand, Steve protested vehemently, not feeling up to anymore ministrations for the moment.
"I don't need those. These trousers are fine Mike. "
Seeing how much the changing of the t-shirt had taken out of his partner Mike didn't force the issue but decided that it was the perfect opportunity to start Steve's Christmas and so take his mind off everything else.
"Ok, that's fine buddy boy. Say, let's start your Christmas off right now. What do you say Steve?"
Jeannie noted that Steve didn't look very enthusiastic about the idea and knew Mike was going to have his work cut out for him convincing the young man otherwise but if anyone could get Steve to participate willingly then it would be Mike so she stayed quiet and watched her father work his magic.
"Aw Mike, Christmas is over now, let's just leave it at that, ok?"
"HEY! Hey now, less of the defeatist attitude. Now I told you, Christmas isn't over until we say it is. Now get in the spirit will you buddy Boy? Come on, come on, let's just assume it's Christmas morning again. What do you normally do? This is your day now remember and we can do whatever you want to. So what's it going to be, huh?"
Steve squirmed uncomfortably where he lay and frowned at Mike's glowing enthusiasm. He didn't even know what to say or do and he blushed slightly as he mumbled.
"I don't know Mike, I do what I always do ... I go to work ... "
Steve forced a crooked smile, hoping Mike would leave it at that but Mike was determined to give Steve a perfect Christmas despite everything that had gone wrong so far and wasn't swayed that easily.
"Very funny wiseguy. I know that's what you've done the last few years but I'm talking about before. You must have had some Christmas day traditions that you did when you were younger. All families have them. What about at your Uncle's house? What did you do there on Christmas morning?"
Steve knew that Mike meant well but he was only managing to make Steve feel even worse. The truth was that Steve tended to keep out of the way at his Uncle's house and didn't really partake in any of the Ryan family traditions being the obvious odd one out so to speak so Steve blushed a deeper shade of red and catching Mike's eyes briefly he tried to impart in just a glance that wasn't a time he wished to discuss, before looking away again nervously. Mike caught Steve's troubled look and read it correctly, sorry that he had even brought it up. Jeannie also read the tortured look in Steve's eyes and wondered if she should tell Mike to drop the whole idea for now seeing as instead of cheering him up it seemed to be having the entirely opposite effect but before she had a chance to say anything Mike had taken a different approach. Patting Steve's right shoulder comfortingly he spoke again.
"Ok, maybe that wasn't a good choice of example. What about at your Grandfather's then? He must have had some good Christmas traditions I'll bet. What did you do there on Christmas morning?"
Steve squirmed again and knew that Mike was not going to give up. So he tried to lighten the mood a little.
"I was just a kid then Mike ... I still believed in Santa so unless you're going to have him appear down the chimney right now ... I ah ... I got nothing for you Mike ... "
While he smiled as he spoke there was an air of sadness about Steve's words that touched both Mike and Jeannie and Mike felt Jeannie's hand on his back and he knew that she was trying to tell him to stop pushing Steve so hard. It was quite obvious that Steve's Christmas experiences weren't quite as memorable as their's always were and Mike felt a lump form in his throat as he understood for the first time why Steve avoided Christmas so much. Steve saw them looking at him and felt suddenly uncomfortable, something he very rarely felt in their company but sinking back into the pillows, he spoke with some difficulty as his emotions threatened to take over.
"Mike, you know I am still a little tired. Maybe I will try to go back to sleep for a while. Ok?"
"No Steve. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. Why don't I plan our day instead? Would that be ok? Will you trust me that much?"
Steve looked dubious and suddenly felt exhausted and not up to much. His eyes held a pleading look but he could see how much it meant to Mike to at least show him a glimpse of what a Stone Christmas was like, so for Mike and Jeannie's sake only he rubbed a hand through his hair and nodded his head reluctantly.
"Ok, Mike ... "
"That's the spirit buddy boy! You won't regret it. Ok, here's what we're going to do. First you're going to trim your side of the tree. Jeannie get the box of decorations will you please?"
Jeannie went off to fetch them, not entirely sure that Steve was up to Mike's overbearing enthusiasm but she had promised to help him give Steve a memorable Christmas so she felt she had little choice but to play along. As she left to fetch them Steve turned to Mike and started to get cold feet.
"Mike, how am I going to trim a tree? I can barely stand up at the minute ... "
"Don't worry about that. All you have to do is stay right where you are and pick the decorations you want to put on your side of the tree and then Jeannie will put them up. It will be a piece of cake. You'll see. Stop worrying about everything, will you?" Mike said smiling enthusiastically and ruffling Steve's hair playfully as he did. "Let's sit you up a little first, ok? Are you up to that?"
Steve nodded reluctantly as Mike took his good arm and helped him to sit up a little bit, placing pillows behind him as he did, as Jeannie arrived back into the room and placed the cardboard box of tree decorations on Steve's lap.
"Ok, buddy boy. You're up. Pick your first one and give it to Jeannie. "
Steve looked at the box overflowing with different decorations and then looked back up at Mike and Jeannie slightly uneasy and confused. He wasn't sure what he should pick and started to feel slightly nervous. Mike saw him struggling to choose and wasn't sure what the problem was.
"What's the matter buddy boy? Why aren't you picking any? "
Steve looked at Mike and then flustered slightly.
"I don't know which ones are ... special to you guys ... "
"What are you talking about buddy boy?" Mike asked not quite understanding why Steve was having such difficulty.
"Well, every family have special tree decorations that mean something to them you know, like my Grandfather had ones we always put on because they had a special meaning but I don't which ones mean something to you guys so how am I supposed to pick?"
Mike suddenly understood and smiled broadly at Steve, placing a comforting hand on Steve's right arm as he spoke.
"Buddy boy, you're not getting this. The whole point of this exercise is that this is YOUR side of the tree. It doesn't have to mean anything to me and Jeannie. You get to pick whatever YOU like. It's as simple as that. "
"I can pick whatever I like?" Steve clarified.
Mike nodded and pushed the box closer to Steve encouraging him to choose something. Steve wasn't too sure about this whole exercise but with Mike and Jeannie studying him closely he felt obliged to play along. He rummaged through the box carefully, his hand brushing off various Christmasy trinkets until he spotted an unusual bauble buried deep in the box. As Steve picked it up he realized that it was actually a snow globe. There was a house in the scene with a Santa Claus and sleigh on the roof and when you shook it, it snowed. Something about the decoration appealed to him and he handed it to Mike proudly having made his first choice. But Mike's reaction to the snow globe bauble made Steve freeze slightly.
Mike took the decoration from Steve and Steve noticed the older man's hand tremble slightly as he did and his eyes widened. He seemed shocked and immediately glanced at Jeannie who also gasped when she saw the first ornament that Steve had picked. Fearing that he had done something wrong but not knowing exactly what, Steve stammered nervously while still looking from one to the other of the Stones.
"What? Did I do something wrong?"
Jeannie was the first to recover her composure and she saw that Steve was looking increasingly worried by their reaction to what he had chosen. Mike was still lost in thought and a little shaken by Steve's innocent choice so Jeannie felt it was up to her to explain their strange behavior.
"No Steve, you didn't do anything wrong. That ornament was just ... well it was Helen's favorite one that's all."
On hearing Jeannie's words, Steve felt like death warmed over. He stared at Mike who was still fingering the ornament nostalgically and he felt awful for unintentionally dragging up such painful memories for him. Feeling his emotions again building inside him he covered his mouth with his right hand and mumbled apologies.
"Aw man, Mike I'm sorry. I didn't know. You know I don't think I want to pick that one anymore. Actually I don't want to do this at all anymore. Oh God this was such a bad idea."
Steve felt awful and pushing the offending box away from him he then brought his hand up to cover his eyes as he felt them brim with tears. Jeannie's heart went out to him and seeing Mike still caught in the moment she nudged her father and alerted him to Steve's distress. Mike had heard Steve's words but had been slow to react to them as he struggled with the memories the bauble he held in his hand had brought back to him but having felt Jeannie's prod and now clearly seeing Steve's upset he cleared his throat and flew into action, clearly trying to put the situation right again.
"Oh Steve, no, don't get upset. That was my fault, not yours. You just caught me by surprise choosing that one that's all but I'm glad you did. Really I am. I had almost forgotten how special that ornament was to us and I'm really glad you chose it and reminded me of it. Don't let my silly reaction put you off picking more. Please Steve. Pick your second one. I promise I won't react like that again."
But Steve was still horrified by what had happened and protested strongly.
"No, I don't want to Mike. Please, just let Jeannie pick ones for me, ok?"
Mike clasped Steve's hand and brought it away from his face and held it firmly, feeling bad for causing Steve to get upset and spoke sincerely straight from his heart.
"Steve, it's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. I told you that you could pick anything and I meant it. I'm really glad you picked that ornament and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better because I mean it. Now come on. Do it for me will you please? Pick another one, ok?"
Squeezing Steve's hand encouragingly he then pushed the box back closer to him and placed Steve's hand back into it. Steve swallowed hard and reluctantly continued. As his hand again touched various ornaments he found himself watching for Mike's reaction to what he was handling and felt increasingly anxious as to what he should choose next. Mike sensed his unease and this time smiled to lighten the young man's tension.
"Steve, you don't have to check my reaction at everything you look at and I'm sorry I've made you feel uncomfortable about choosing something else. Just choose something quickly will you or else it's going to be next Christmas before we get your side of the tree trimmed, huh?" he said ruffling Steve's hair again teasingly and his effort was rewarded by a nervous smile from his partner.
Still erring on the cautious side however, Steve's hand alighted on a handmade ornament. It was a crib scene made from cardboard and string and looked like a child had made it. He wondered if Jeannie had made it at some stage and somehow felt safe choosing it.
"This one" he announced handing it to Mike who took the ornament from Steve and this time he smiled broadly.
"Good choice Steve. I haven't seen this one either for years. Jeannie, do you remember this one?"
This time it was Jeannie's turn to look horrified.
"Oh no, we're not putting that on the tree! I made that in fourth grade. Oh Steve, choose something else."
Jeannie went to snatch the offending article off Mike but Mike pulled it from her reach before she could get it.
"Now, now sweetheart. The deal was that Steve could pick whatever decorations he wanted to. Now he picked this so it goes on the tree. "
Steve was smiling as he saw Jeannie and Mike reasoning with each other over the handmade ornament and actually was a little amused at Jeannie's indignation. She turned to Steve and spoke.
"Steve, you don't really want this on the tree do you?"
Steve looked at her flustered face and then glanced at Mike's highly amused expression and a mischievous look came across his face.
"Yeah, I like it. I want it on the tree."
"STEVE KELLER! " Jeannie exclaimed and picking up a cushion she fired it at Steve playfully at his insistence on placing her handmade childish ornament on the tree.
Mike blocked the cushion from hitting Steve and reprimanded Jeannie teasingly.
"JEANNIE! The boy is injured. I'm surprised at you. Now put it on the tree, please."
" But Mike."
"Jeannie, rules are rules ... "
Jeannie looked exasperated but at the same time could see that the two men were getting a kick out of her discomfort so she played along, at least pleased to see that it had made Steve forget about his previous choice.
"Ok, you two wiseguys. I'll put it on the tree but it's going at the BACK."
As Jeannie stormed off to place it on the tree, Mike looked at Steve and winked and started chuckling.
"You do know, you're going to pay for that choice at some stage buddy boy, don't you?"
Mike's laughter was infectious and soon Steve was chuckling too.
"Yeah, I know. Let's just hope she goes easy on me seeing as I'm injured and all."
"Don't count on that one buddy boy." Mike teased and then feeling that Steve had recovered from his earlier upset he asked more seriously." Are you ok now?"
"Yeah ... "
Mike studied him closely to make sure he was telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and eventually satisfied that he was, he rattled the box purposefully.
"Go ahead, pick your next one and if I were you I wouldn't pick any more that Jeannie made ... "
Steve nodded and chuckled again but Mike could tell that his nervousness returned at the thought of picking another ornament. He spent what seemed like ages rummaging through the box of trinkets but it was in all actuality merely minutes, and then he spotted a reindeer ornament out of the corner of his eye. Reaching for it he picked it up and time seemed to stand still for the young man. He turned it over in his hand and Mike and Jeannie watched him closely. He seemed to be lost in a memory and neither Stone felt comfortable pulling him from it just yet. Jeannie looked worried at Mike who eased her worries with just one look. Then Mike placed his hand over Steve's and spoke softly.
"Do you want that one on next?"
Steve startled at Mike's touch and seemed to come back to the present, painfully aware that his momentary trip down memory lane had been witnessed and noted. Feeling as if he needed to explain his actions, he flustered a little and spoke shakily.
"Sorry ... this one just reminded me of an ornament my Grandfather used to have." he explained and reddening a little he looked away just as quickly.
Mike decided to push the issue, noting from the way he had studied the ornament that the memory didn't seem to be an unpleasant one.
"Care to elaborate on that buddy boy?"
Steve blushed even more and swallowed hard.
"Not really ..." Then seeing a brief look of disappointment cross Mike's face at his answer he decided to bite the bullet and confess all. "My Grandfather's one was only made of plastic not fragile like this one but he used to ... " Steve seemed to be deciding if he wanted to finish the sentence or not but then blurted out the rest as if to get his embarrassment over with quickly. " ... let me play with it sometimes because it wasn't breakable. There now you know. Stupid huh?"
Steve was by now a deep shade of crimson but Mike was proud of the boy for sharing the memory with them despite his obvious misgivings. Taking the ornament gently from Steve's hand he passed it to Jeannie.
"Here Jeannie, put this one at the front with the snow globe one will you please?"
Jeannie took the ornament and went to hang it on the tree as Mike turned back to his partner.
"No, that's not stupid. We used to let Jeannie play with some of the non breakable ones too when she was small. Do you remember Jeannie?"
Jeannie had returned and had heard her father's question. She remembered only too well the ones she had been allowed play with and the happy memories returned to her thick and fast of her childhood Christmases with both parents. She smiled, belying the tear that came into her eye at the memories.
"Yes, I remember Mike. There was a fairy princess and oh what was the other one?"
She remembered the fairy ornament vividly and all the childhood adventures she had played with it but the second one was eluding her until Mike's shaky voice intervened.
"It was a tin soldier, wasn't it? I bought it for you one time I was up in Sacramento on a working trip just before the holidays when you were oh, maybe four or five. You played with that thing for days on end. It used to rescue the fairy princess as I recall."
Jeannie smiled her widest smile and came to stand behind her father hugging him as she did.
"That's right. I can't believe you still remember that all these years later."
Steve watched Mike and Jeannie share their special memory and his own one didn't seem as embarrassing any more. Allowing them a few moments to bask in the glow of the past, he continued to look through the box this time unwatched and chose more trinkets to fill his side of the tree somehow no longer worried about choosing incorrectly but feeling a part of the Stone family in that one special shared moment. When Mike finally looked up and saw that Steve had freely chosen a lot more decorations he patted Jeannie's arm affectionately and spoke with pride and a touch of humor in his voice.
"Hey Jeannie, no more slacking on the job. Looks like Steve has lots more things for you to hang on his side of the tree. "
Jeannie laughed and took the handful of things that Mike passed from Steve and set about putting them up as Mike smiled proudly at the young man for getting over his initial nerves and for participating so fully in Mike's plan for his day.
With the last item hung, Jeannie stood back and admired the tree which was now no longer bare on one side.
"I think that about does it guys. What do you both think?"
Steve didn't comment as he stared at the first tree that he had trimmed in a very long time and a lump appeared in his throat but he managed a weak but heartfelt smile at Mike who he was grateful to for including him in something so personal to their family and Mike returned it, patting Steve's good shoulder proudly as he spoke with an equal level of pride in his voice.
"I think it's perfect sweetheart ... Absolutely perfect!"