Chapter 25: Yet it shall be tempest-tost
Elphaba came awake slowly. At first, she thought she was waking up in her bed at her apartment, and was wondering why she was hearing so much activity in the hallway and in the kitchen. Why is Arabella being so noisy? she thought to herself as she rolled over with Nox in her arms. Then, her eyes slowly opened and she realized that she wasn't holding Nox, but a stuffed black cat. Wait... she thought to herself, and pushed the covers away from her face, blinking against the sunlight that was streaming through her window.
Slowly, the realization came to her that she was in her new bedroom in Regina's home. My home. Oh…wait…
"Oh shit!" Elphaba exclaimed, as she leapt out of the bed. It finally hit her that the activity she was hearing was Henry bustling about, getting ready for school and Regina getting ready for work. "Shit, shit, shit!" Elphaba said, as she threw open her bedroom door and raced downstairs. She skidded to a halt in the dining room, where Henry had just finished having breakfast and was pulling on his backpack.
"Are you okay?" Henry asked, staring at the bleary-eyed Elphaba with messy hair.
"Fine!" Elphaba said, as she ran past him and into the kitchen where Regina was putting the dishes from breakfast into the dishwasher.
Her face brightened when she looked up and saw Elphaba. "Rowan, you're up," she said. "I'd make you some breakfast, but I have to get Henry to school."
"Why didn't you wake me? I'm not even ready for work," Elphaba said in a panic.
"You're not going to work," Regina said, with a shake of her head. "You just got out of the hospital."
"Wait, no, I feel fine," Elphaba said. "You know I'm fine, that seizure was just a one time thing," she said more quietly so Henry wouldn't hear.
"Even so," Regina said, putting her hands on Elphaba's shoulders, "I'm not taking any chances. What if you fainted because you over exerted yourself so soon out of the hospital?"
"I won't, and I sit behind a desk," Elphaba said.
"That doesn't matter. You are staying home and resting," Regina said. "Now, I have to go, otherwise Henry is going to be late for school." She kissed Elphaba's cheek, and then started to move past her to leave the kitchen.
"I'm not your kid, you know," Elphaba said, crossing her arms.
"Excuse me?" Regina said, turning to look at her.
"I said, I'm not your kid. You seem to think I am, but I'm not, so stop babying me!" Elphaba told her.
Regina looked as though she had been slapped in the face, and Elphaba realized what she had just said.
Then, the cold, stern make that Regina usually wore slipped back into place, and Elphaba was left looking at the stoic, hard-ass mayor, not the woman she desperately loved.
"Fine," Regina said, her expression blank and her eyes hard. "Do what you want. You're not a child, you can take care of yourself." Regina turned and left the kitchen, without another word to Elphaba.
"Come on, Henry," she heard Regina say. Elphaba padded out of the kitchen, and walked over to the foyer where Regina was putting on her coat.
"Regina, I…."
"I have to get Henry to school. If there's something you want to discuss, wait until I get home from work tonight," she snapped.
It was Elphaba's turn to look as though she had been slapped. Regina's eyes met hers, and she say Elphaba's mask slip over her face.
"Fine," Elphaba said.
"Good," Regina said. "I suspect you know not to make a mess while I'm gone."
"Right," Elphaba said, her eyes blankly staring at Regina.
"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page," Regina said, as her own cold eyes stared into Elphaba's. "I'll see you tonight," she added. "Let's go, Henry."
Elphaba watched them go, watched the door open and then close, and felt a knot settle in her stomach. She stood there, completely alone, as the quietness of the house settled around her, and finally the sorrow, guilt, and anger at herself hit her like a wave and she felt herself running blindly up to her room.
She slammed her bedroom door shut behind her, and looked for something she could smash or throw. She spotted the stuffed black cat, who lay discarded on her bed, and snatched him up. Then, with all of her might, she hurled him against the door.
The stuffed black cat hit with a thud, and then lay discarded, once again, on the floor. Elphaba grabbed him, ready to throw him again, and suddenly stopped as she looked into the solemn yellow, plastic eyes that stared back at her, nonjudgmentally. Her face twisted in sadness and tears spilled down her cheeks as she hugged the stuffed cat.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I didn't mean to do that." She cried into the soft plush fur of the stuffed cat, and felt ridiculous. But, despite how ridiculous she felt, she knew that this was her was of apologizing. She was apologizing to her familiar, who was no longer with her, who she felt like she had let down somehow, and she was apologizing to the former queen who she loved with all her heart.
Elphaba felt like the worst person on the planet. How could I have said that to her? After she confessed to me that she had lost her daughter, and then I go and snap at her. And, for what? For loving me? So what if she sort of babies me because she sees me as some kind of substitute for her daughter. How is that a bad thing? I have always seen her as a substitute for my mom! And that's because Regina has always loved me so much, and accepted me, and took me under her wing, gave me a home…
She looked at her stuffed black cat, who continued to stare at her without judgment. "I need to go see her and apologize, even if I have to get down on my hands and knees to do it," Elphaba resolved. She gave the stuffed cat a kiss, set him down on her bed, and started to get dressed.
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Regina stared at her notes from the last town council meeting. She had read the notes over and over for the past thirty minutes, not really processing what was in front of her. Her mind was on Elphaba.
I'm not your kid. Those words had felt like a knife in her heart. She's right, though, Regina thought. I keep treating her that way. I've always spoiled her a bit because of that.
I'm just projecting.
Still, she does look a lot like me. So, it's natural that I would think she's my daughter.
That's not an excuse, though. What Elphaba said really hurt me, and she needs to learn that hurting me comes with a price.
Love is a weakness, she heard her mother's voice echo through her mind. Regina's office door clicked open and then shut, and she knew who it was without even looking up.
And, she still didn't look up, even when Elphaba sat in the chair across from her desk. Regina could feel her eyes on her, yet she still didn't look at her. Several moments passed before Elphaba spoke.
"Regina…" Elphaba said, her voice strained.
"I'm working," Regina said, feeling a stab in her own heart at the harshness in her voice. "I do hope that what you're here for is important, since you are interrupting my work." This was obviously a lie, since she hadn't been able to concentrate on any of her work.
She heard Elphaba rustling around, and the flipping of paper pages, the soft scratching of pencil on paper. Regina chanced a look at what Elphaba was doing, her eyebrow quirking as she discreetly watched her drawing something in her sketchbook, alternating between graphite pencil and oil pastels.
Regina went back to her notes, wondering what exactly Elphaba was drawing. She's drawing something for me, I know it. And, I'm going to have a hard time keeping my damn composure if she hands me a drawing as a way of apologizing.
She heard the harsh sound of the page being ripped out of the sketchbook, and the soft rasp of the page as it slid across her desk. Regina finally turned and looked at the drawing.
On the paper was a drawing of beautiful rose—red to be specific—complete with tiny thorns, and written next to it in curling letters were the words, "I'm sorry." Elphaba had even added a tiny heart at the end of the statement.
Regina pursed her lips. Dammit. She needed a stronger resolve when it came to Elphaba. She couldn't forgive her this easily. She never forgave anyone this easily, except for Henry. And Daniel. Regina glanced up, making sure to give Elphaba a pointed stare, and was greeted with a watery smile from the girl.
Oh hell, Regina thought in defeat. She sighed. "Come here," she said, standing up, and Elphaba practically ran into her embrace.
Regina lightly touched Elphaba's hair. "What you said this morning really hurt," she told her. She was stuck between hating herself for giving in so easily, wanting to yell, scream, and cry at Elphaba, and wanting to cuddle her and hold her forever. The last thought made Regina almost disgusted.
"I know," Elphaba said, her chin on Regina's shoulder. "I shouldn't have said what I did. It's just…I mean…my own mother didn't care if I was dying, she would have dragged me out of bed and made me go to work. So, what you said…it kind of threw me, and I didn't know how else to react except for…"
"Anger," Regina said.
"Yeah."
"I know."
"So, does this mean you forgive me?" Elphaba asked hopefully.
"I always do," Regina said, giving her head a soft kiss.
Elphaba sighed. "Good."
They both broke the hug at the same time. "Why don't you stay and keep me company while I work?" Regina suggested, giving Elphaba's arm a gentle squeeze.
"Okay," Elphaba said, a smile breaking out across her face.
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A smile of amusement played across Regina's lips as she watched Elphaba go from sitting on the sofa in her office, doodling in her sketchbook, to being sprawled out on the floor as she added color to whatever she was doodling. Regina chuckled.
Elphaba looked up at her. "What?"
"Do you usually move around that much when you make art?"
"Oh," Elphaba said, blushing. "Well, sometimes. It depends on what I'm doing. If I'm sketching or painting, then I'm not going to move around as much because those take more concentration. But, if I'm just doodling, then I'll lie on my stomach or sit at a table, or just sit on the floor."
"I see," Regina said. "What are you working on now?"
"Uh, well, it's not quite finished, but it's just sort of a mash up of things."
"May I see?" Regina asked. She loved looking at Elphaba's artwork and was always captivated by her talent. It seemed to be a talent that Elphaba discovered when she came to this realm as Rowan, and Regina was glad that she hadn't lost that talent once she regained her memory. She wondered if it was a talent the girl had always had, and just never had the opportunity to tap into it or embrace it.
"Of course," Elphaba said. She set down her pen and markers, stood up, stretched, and then carried her sketchbook over to Regina.
Regina took the sketchbook into her hands, as though holding a sacred relic. Her eyes met the page of the sketchbook, and she felt her mouth drop open slightly in amusement and wonder.
Amidst all of the inked in swirls was a drawing of the Emerald City. Swirling around it was the yellow brick road, and as Regina's eyes scanned the page, she found her castle, the castle they had both called home. There were Lasher and Rocinante, grazing on green grass. Nox lounged in the corner of the page and venus flytraps, like the ones that were destroyed when Elphaba's shack was set on fire, inhabited the other corner. There was a cauldron of red apples, Elphaba's little sister's shoes, her infamous flying monkeys, and flying across the page was Elphaba herself on a broomstick. And, at the very top of the page, overlooking the scene, were Regina's own eyes, captured so realistically that Regina felt as though she was looking into a mirror and seeing herself reflected back at her.
The smile that had bloomed across her face faltered a bit. Elphaba had managed to make her eyes look both cold and sad, but hidden underneath was a hint of warmth. Regina realized that this is what Elphaba had memorized about her, had paid attention to the most, what her eyes looked like. The impact of that thought struck Regina, and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. She thought back to their time in the castle, the quiet dinners, the lingering looks Elphaba would give her as if she wasn't sure it the queen was real, how she would stare directly at her any time she spoke, as if she was staring into her soul, how she watched her every move.
At first, she had been a bit unnerved and a little annoyed when she fell under Elphaba's almost scrutinizing gaze, but then Elphaba began to relax in her presence—maybe she had become sure that the queen wasn't a figment of her imagination, or that she wasn't going to suddenly vanish out of her life—and the queen, in turn, began to relax in Elphaba's presence, and started to enjoy how the young witch seemed to hang on her every word and movement.
"Oh, Elphie," Regina said, smiling warmly. "This is wonderful. I don't think you need to add anything else to it."
"You think so?" Elphaba asked.
"Mhmmm," Regina said. "I think adding anything else would be too much. It would detract from the overall piece."
"So, you don't think it needs any more color?" Elphaba asked.
"No, the amount of color you've added is perfect," Regina said, handing the sketchbook back to Elphaba.
Elphaba was grinning from ear to ear. "You know, I think this is my favorite piece I've done so far."
"Mine, too," Regina said. Their eyes met and they both smiled at each other, but behind those smiles were a bit of sadness, for they both missed their home despite the bad things that had happened to them there.
"Regina, I…"
"I know," Regina said.
"Good."
Elphaba stretched. "What time is it?"
Regina looked at the time on her phone. "Oh my. Time to pick Henry up from school."
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Elphaba stood next to Regina as they both waited for Henry to walk out of the school, but as the children filed by, Henry was still nowhere to be seen. She could tell from the frown that had formed on Regina's lips that she was concerned, and Elphaba could almost sense the tenseness in her body, and the panic that was starting to flow over her.
"Maybe Henry stayed behind to talk to Mary-Margaret," Elphaba suggested, and looked at Regina out of the corner of her eye.
She saw Regina's frown deepen, and quickly followed her as Regina strode towards the doors of the school. Once inside, Regina sauntered into Mary-Margaret's classroom, which was empty except for Mary-Margaret and Arabella.
Well, this is mildly awkward, Elphaba thought.
"Ms. Blanchard, where is my son?" Regina asked.
"He left on his bike, not that long ago," Mary-Margaret said.
Both Arabella and Elphaba saw Regina on the verge of raging at Mary-Margaret, so Arabella decided to intercept any yelling.
"I'm sure he's heading straight home, and I bet if you went there now, he would be up in his room doing homework like a good boy," Arabella said with a smile.
"Don't patronize me," Regina snapped, and Elphaba had to hide her smirk when Arabella's smile faltered and she looked almost frightened.
"You let my son leave the school grounds without me?" Regina snarled at Mary-Margaret.
"A lot of the children leave school by themselves, and they're fine," Mary-Margaret said.
"And, what if Henry isn't?" Regina asked. "If something has happened to my son, because you let him leave the school grounds without me, so help me…"
Regina was in Mary-Margaret's face at this point, and as entertained as she was, Elphaba wondered if she should stop Regina from possibly strangling Mary-Margaret.
"Come on, Regina," Elphaba said, grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle but insistent tug. "I'll help you find him. Obviously we're not going to get any assistance from these two idiots."
Regina looked at Elphaba, and then turned to glare at Mary-Margaret. "You'd better hope I find my son," she said, and with that Regina let Elphaba guide her out of the school.
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Elphaba sat in the car as she watched Regina approach Emma and Henry. They had driven around almost all of Storybrooke looking for Henry, and Elphaba had watched Regina grow more and more worried as she grew more and more annoyed with Henry. Finally, they found him at the playground that he frequently went to, and of course he was with Emma. Of course, Elphaba thought. Because let's just forget about the woman who raised you for ten years. The playground that Henry apparently enjoyed was broken and beaten down by a minor storm that had hit Storybrooke. She could tell that Regina was admonishing Henry. Yeah, that's what you get for disrespecting Regina. Elphaba saw Henry heading towards the car and she huffed. Well, this is going to be awkward.
Elphaba watched as Henry opened the driver's side door—she certainly wasn't going to get out of her seat so that he could get into the car—push the seat forward, and clamber into the back seat. For a moment they sat there in tense silence, before Elphaba decided to speak.
"You know, you could have let your mom know where you were going. She was really worried about you," Elphaba said.
"No she wasn't. She only pretends to worry about me. And, I did let my mom know where I was going," Henry said.
"No, you let Emma know where you were going. And, you know that's not true at all, Regina loves you!"
"You don't know anything!" Henry said. "You don't know the life I've had. My life sucks!"
"You're life sucks?" Elphaba yelled as she spun to look at Henry. "Has she ever locked you in your room and deprived you of dinner? Has she ever grabbed you by your hair? What about slapped you across the face? Has she ever degraded you and made you feel worthless? Because if she hasn't loved done any of those things, I don't want to hear that your life sucks! You have grown up in safety and comfort you're whole life. Some people haven't. So, don't talk to me about how horrible your life is!"
"Rowan!"
Elpahaba's head snapped around as she saw Regina getting into the car and shutting the door.
"What the hell is going on?" Regina asked.
"Nothing," Henry said. Elphaba eyed him suspiciously before turning around in her seat and crossing her arms, her cheeks flushed in anger.
"We'll talk about this later," Regina said, looking at both Henry and Elphaba.
"Fine," Henry said.
"Fine," Elphaba said. A headache settled behind her eyes, and she leaned her head against the headrest as Regina started the car. Elphaba watched the broken and damaged playground grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.
(Author's Note: Well, I have realized that it's been at least a month since I updated, which I hate, but my summer was so insane with my dad being really sick, and I have also started the last semester of my senior year of college, so of course I've been super busy. But, here it is, finally! Hope you enjoyed it! The more and more I write this, the more and more I realize how emotionally stunted Rowan/Elphaba is. She's at least 25, yet she acts like a petulant, angry teenager at times. It's really heartbreaking. And, in a way, it's a lot like how Regina acts. Also, I think Rowan/Elphaba is the only person who can grab Regina's hand and pull her away from a confrontation. She would NEVER let anyone do that, but she let's Rowan/Elphaba since she's such a softy around her. Oh, and yes this is the scene in season 1 where Henry goes to make sure that his book is okay, and Regina finds Emma and Henry at the destroyed playground. So, season 1 is going to be tied into the story more and more now, but of course it's going to be from Rowan/Elphaba's perspective. And, of course this will lead into Regina building that new playground for Henry. Also, season 3! Ahhh! I can't wait to see Regina/The Evil Queen again, and I'm actually pretty excited for the Neverland storyline since I love J.M. Barrie's "Peter Pan." Speaking of books, you guys should read "The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell" by Chris Colfer, because he makes the Evil Queen a sympathetic character and there are a lot of great EQ quotes in it. As always, review, review, and happy reading!)