It was a couple of hours before Belle actually emerged from the library. She didn't spend too much of that time reading, but instead exploring the room and getting to know the place, and seeing what types of books it had to offer-or more specifically what Rumple thought she might like. Given that she had no true interests in books, she wondered what he had selected for her to read.
But after glancing through everything she didn't find anything too specific. No, in fact it was just the opposite. The library had almost anything one could possibly think existed in the terms of literature. It offered books of all kinds, fiction and nonfiction alike. If Rumplestiltskin's goal was to make sure she'd enjoy it, he did a great job ensuring no genre was left out. But while that was nice to know she had options, it was also a downfall of the place. Not having any idea what she liked meant not having any idea where to start. But she was determined to find something.
Even if the idea of reading didn't sound appealing to her she was going to try her hardest to push past that and enjoy it. Rumplestiltskin had put forth so much effort to show he cared for her and wanted her forgiveness; she needed to show him the same courtesy. Unfortunately though, before she decided on a book to begin reading, her stomach dictated otherwise. It was already lunchtime and she was still in her bed clothes. Rumple had also promised to join her-well sort of-hopefully. After this whole fiasco she began to fear once again that he might ignore her. He had in the past… She took a deep breath. No. She was going to stay positive. If he tried to ignore her she knew how to handle it at this point.
Placing a few selected books on the table next to the window, she paused and closed her eyes to just take a moment to enjoy the fresh warm sunlight against her skin. Out of all his gestures, the fact that Rumplestiltskin allowed her to have a room, any room, to be filled with natural light, as much natural light as she could ever dream of, meant more to her than anything. He truly did care about her. Of course it wasn't love like Lumiere had implied, but it was something. Maybe they could at least be friends…yes friends. She could be all right with that…perhaps. As long as she could find a way to keep ignoring that little voice deep down that tried to convince her that she wanted to be more than friends.
She sighed heavily and opened her eyes. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself. The entire household knew the direction Rumple's curse was taking him and if Belle was truly honest with herself, she knew that it wouldn't be long before another incident. She wanted to believe there wouldn't be one and she was sure Rumple was sincere when he claimed he was sorry and never wanted to hurt her again. Yet, it seemed this was going beyond his control. Each and every day she could see how he was fading, how he was fighting harder and harder to stay in control. How long before there was none of the man left? Was she foolish for staying in the castle?
She couldn't think about this anymore or she would go mad. Only hours ago she had forgiven Rumple and practically promised she would stay; she wasn't going to go back on her word without reason.
Knowing she needed to change before heading down to lunch, she left the library and made her way down to her room first. However, she was not expecting to be bombarded by a still disheveled Baelfire. In the blink of an eye, the boy had his arms wrapped around Belle's legs, gripping her in a hug so tight one would think his life depended on it.
Belle was taken completely aback, and she even had to regain her balance when he appeared out of nowhere, but she had no time to even ask what was going on, for he was already giving her the answer.
"Belle please!" He cried heavily into her robes. "You can't leave! I don't want you to leave! I don't care what Papa says! I want you to stay!" He spoke quickly through his tears, not allowing her to get a word in.
"I don't want you to go anywhere! I want you to stay here with us! I love you! You've been like a Mama to me! I thought we were family!"
Belle's heart nearly melted hearing the boy's words and seeing how distraught he was over the thought that she would soon walk out of his life forever. Mother, family, love…She had always been incredibly fond of the boy and knew he felt the same, but she never imagined he could feel so deeply for her. To honestly think she was like his mother? It was more than she could ever ask for, could ever wish for.
"Oh, Bae," she said softly, hugging the boy. "I'm not going anywhere, you don't have to worry. I love you, too." And she really did. She had thought very highly of the boy for a long time and had already known she loved him like a son. Reassuring him was coming very easy to her, because it was all true.
Bae sniffled a few times and lifted his head up to look at her. His eyes were blood red from the crying and Belle's robe was damp from his tears. "S…So…we are family?" he asked as if he still wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or just trying to calm him down.
"Yes, we're a family," she said with a nod and a smile. She gently stroked a strand of hair out of the boy's eyes and cupped his cheek. She could feel tears pooling in her eyes as she looked down at him.
"Even Papa?" he added.
That caused Belle to pause, but only briefly and not in any manner where Bae would have ever noticed. It was weird to think of Rumplestiltskin as family and even harder to say it out loud, but it didn't stop her from telling the boy what he wanted to hear, "Yes, even your Papa is my…our family." And even though it was harder for her to say, part of her knew it was the truth too.
Bae smiled big then, bigger than she had ever seen him do so before and he hugged her even tighter, almost cutting off her circulation. "I don't know what I'd do without you! I'm so glad Papa didn't scare you away!"
Belle chuckled lightly and gave the boy a kiss on the forehead. "I am too-now, you must be hungry. Did you even have breakfast?"
The rumble that erupted from Bae's stomach at the mention of food was enough to answer her question.
She just shook her head. "Go-I'll meet you in the Dining Hall once I've dressed."
With a nod of the head and without hesitation Bae hugged her again and ran off like she told him to do so.
Belle was in her room and dressed within minutes and soon she was hurrying off to the kitchen with her hair tied back and apron on. Although Rumple had said she was no longer the maid, she knew that didn't excuse her from preparing meals. They did have to eat. If she left it up to Rumple or Bae she feared the castle would quickly return to its former state. That was another reason she knew she was going to find it hard to relinquish her duties. As long as she lived in this castle there was no way it was ever going to be neither disgusting nor cluttered again.
Once she arrived at the kitchen she was surprised to find the pantry was quite low on food, holding some bread, several fruits and vegetables, and a block of cheese along with a few other miscellaneous ingredients. It was honestly one of the first times she had seen it this low, with only enough food to last the three of them for maybe a few more days.
The pantry had always been well stocked and Belle had never been the one to fill it. She had just assumed either Rumple went out to purchase more goods or the more easier and likely answer: magic.
But if it was magic, it wouldn't be so empty now, so Rumple must have done shopping and it he had to of done it subtly because she never noticed. Well, she would just inform him that they were running low. He could spin straw into gold so purchasing more certainly would be no issue.
After preparing simple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, one for each of them including Rumple, Belle garnished it with some freshly sliced apples and left a pot of tea brewing on the stove as she walked everything to the Main Hall.
She was surprised-no happy-to find that Bae and Rumple were already waiting for her. Her eyes first locked with Rumple's and she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face, especially when she saw he was doing the same thing in return. It almost seemed as if his eyes lit up-or his whole demeanor for that being-as if her presence alone lit some sort of light within him.
She cast a glance and smile over at Bae too, not wanting him to think she was ignoring him, as she set down the tray of sandwiches on the table.
"I love peanut butter and jelly!" Bae squealed the moment he saw what she had fixed for lunch. His mood had significantly improved and one would have never known he had been crying all morning just to look at him.
Belle was glad Bae and Rumple both seemed to be on better terms. Although she really had no idea what had gone on between them when she wasn't around, she was certain they had fought in one way or another. It was important they got along-they were father and son, a father and son who didn't spend a lot of time together.
Bae had expressed how much he had looked up to her as a mother, but the boy needed his father too. Rumple needed to be a part of his son's life, but he barely spent a lot of time with the boy. Usually Bae was off alone or with Belle. Perhaps she could arrange some father son time. She was certain neither one of them would be opposed. If they did oppose then at the very least the three of them could do something as a family. Yes, a family. She had a family now and if she truly meant that she felt they were her family then she had to make sure she showed it as well. And spending time together was one of the best ways to do that.
"Peanut butter and jelly?" Rumple asked, sounding a bit surprised. Belle knew he was only questioning it because he was not accustomed to such simplicity. Usually when he joined Bae and her for meal the food was much more extravagant and he usually requested she cook certain things except on the very rare occasion he prepared it himself-or his magic did.
"Yes, peanut butter and jelly," Belle confirmed, handing a very eager and hunger Baelfire his plate. "It's all we had in the…" She started her sentence, but was cut off when she turned to face Rumplestiltskin, getting the first good look at him-all of him, not just his eyes-since she entered the room.
He was dressed normal as usual, in his silks and leather pants, and he had his cane. Had he had his cane that morning? She didn't recall him using it in the library and he was clearly human. He always needed it when he was human…maybe she didn't remember it. Yes, that had to be it. Otherwise, she had to believe what else it could mean: that the curse really was taking over not just his mind, but his body. No-she was just preoccupied too much that morning. He had the cane…he had to of had it.
But cane or no cane, that wasn't what Belle was focusing the most on. No, once again she found herself staring at Rumple's hair. It was different, again; he had clearly done something with it-or tried to do something with it. It still was not straight, not like before, but neither was it curly. No, now it just had a hint of a light wave to it with more volume.
"Yes, my dear? Something you'd like to say?" Rumple said, breaking her concentration. He could see she was staring at him and she knew he knew what she was thinking. But she didn't dare say too much, especially since his hair was what had caused his anger to go out of control in the first place.
She bit her lip nervously. "It's just your um…" Gods she wanted to say hair, she needed to say hair, but she just couldn't.
"My hair?" he finished for her and nodded his head fashioning a smart smirk on his face. "Ah yes, my hair. Well this is the final result of what has come of your tinkering with my potions and products."
Oh gods…was he about to get angry again? Please…no he couldn't! They were past this! She examined him carefully. He didn't appear to be angry. He stood there watching her with both hands on his cane clearly waiting for her reply. There was a sort of air about him-he was in one of his playful moods, she was sure of it. No anger.
"So you were unsuccessful in trying to straighten it?" she asked, still erring on the side of caution and reasonable conversation.
"Try as I might, with all my knowledge, all my spells, magical potions and trinkets, I cannot conclude as to what concoction I mixed to produce such an outcome. This…" He motioned upwards toward his hair in a slow manner. "…is the final result."
He didn't seem too agitated about it, but not excited either. She knew he cared a lot about his looks, and while the originally curly hair had been ridiculous, the wavy hair was not. She could honestly say she liked it-maybe even more than the straight hair.
Like it or not though, she couldn't stop the small giggle from escaping her throat.
Rumplestiltskin narrowed one eye at her and leaned in a little closer. "My dear…you find this funny?"
"No!" she replied instantly and straightened her back, trying to stand tall even though she was still a couple inches shorter than him. She took a deep breath and gathered courage. Any comment on his hair was a risk and she was willing to take it. "I like this look…It adds character…" She even took a step forward and reached out to touch his hair, rolling a strand between her fingers, before quickly pulling away. What had just come over her?
He didn't mind though, there was even a hint of a smile on his face, but he eyed her suspiciously, clearly not believing her. "But…" Yes, of course he could tell there was a but.
She smiled, chuckling once more. Dare she say it? He was in a playful mood, she was definitely sure. "But…it's funny how an all powerful wizard can't even cast a spell to straighten his hair…" She looked at him challengingly and was met with nothing but…silence.
Silence. There was a long moment of just silence. No one moved, no one breathed, and Belle couldn't even hear the crackling of the fire. Maybe she shouldn't have said it. Quick! She had to take it back! But she didn't have to because Rumple spoke first. "Well this all powerful wizard didn't expect such a mischievous maid to come into his life and rearrange everything now did he?"
Yes…playful. She wasn't wrong and breathed a sigh of relief while the fleeing smile returned accompanied by a light blush. "It needed rearranging…just like the castle needed cleaning…and by all means you needed to let some light in."
She had no idea what meaning those words truly held, but in that moment as she stared up into Rumple's eyes, there was something between them. He was letting his guard down-more than usual and she could see that flash of emotion in his eyes, but by gods what emotion was it? She had seen him hold it for her here or there, but she could never identify it. Her heart brought on the fleeing thought of maybe it was love, but her head quickly tossed that away. Fondness…maybe it was fondness…
Rumplestiltskin cleared his throat and took a step back. "Eh…you were saying earlier?"
"Saying? What?" Belle was still lost in his eyes, sad now that what she had seen before had disappeared or perhaps had just been hidden away.
"The peanut butter and jelly. It was all you had in the…You didn't finish your thought."
"Oh, oh!" Belle broke her gaze then realizing he was changing the subject back to the original conversation. She picked up her plate and took her seat next to Baelfire who had already devoured most of his sandwich. "I was trying to say it was one of the few things left in the pantry. We are apparently running low on food. I was hoping you could go to the market?"
Rumplestiltskin remained standing making Belle feel like he would take his leave soon. It disheartened her. "Why don't you go to the market in my stead?" he suggested in such a nonchalant manner one would think it was nothing.
But Belle did not think it was nothing and neither did Baelfire. The two of them practically dropped the food they held in their hands in sync with one another and just stared at Rumplestiltskin slack jawed.
"I'm sorry," Belle said, shaking her head and furrowing her brows. "What did you just say?"
"Market, you can go to the market for me and purchase anything you need-not limited to food…and take Baelfire with you," he pointed over at his son and was still acting like this was nothing at all, as if it were something that he suggested everyday.
"Wait…" She shot a worried glance over at Baelfire. This had to be too good to be true…a trick maybe. She could see similar reservations in his eyes. "You trust me to go to town with your son?" she said, turning back to Rumple.
Bae remained quiet watching his father and waiting for a clear answer. There was definitely some pent up excitement as he waited for what both he and Belle so desperately wanted to hear.
"Yes," Rumple replied with a curt nod. He began speaking with his hands then as he did so many times. "As we discussed, you are free to come and go. You are no longer my maid. And it's high time you got a moment away from this castle and myself. Market day at Avonlea is in two days. You can go then. I hear they have quite the selection of seafood most of which is caught by the local fisherman."
Belle was still in utter disbelief, first the library and then this? It had only been a day and things were already turning around. That was as long as he didn't change his mind… But he appeared sincere.
Her silence prompted him to continue. "That is unless you don't want to…"
"No! No!" Belle said as fast as one possibly could, jumping to her feet as she said it and running over to him. "I want to, I really do…I'm just surprised that's all." She shot a smile back at Bae who was beaming brightly.
"Well rest assured I mean what I say. You may go to market and spend all the time there as you would like, but Baelfire will have to wear his disguise." His voice was firm at that last part.
"Yes, of course," Belle agreed.
"I know Papa!" Bae called from behind.
Oh gods, market…town…Belle was truly going to go out, going to get part of her life back. Well not her life. Of course she didn't remember what her real life was truly like, but at least she would be able to take a break, to mingle with other people besides a wizard, a child, and a fire demon.
As if she was mirroring what had happened in the library that morning, Belle suddenly found herself once again with her arms around Rumple's neck pulling him in for a tight hug and leaving him flabbergasted.
"Thank you, you truly may never know how much this means to me," she told him with tears pooling in her eyes. I love you…she had the urge to tack on those words, but the gods only knew why. Love…no she didn't love him. THAT was ridiculous. And even if she did love him…saying them in such an awkward moment with his son watching was not the time.
She bashfully looked away from him as she pulled back. Having that thought in her head made her unable to make eye contact with him. "I look forward to it…"
And she really did, but it was going to be a long two days to wait, but it would be worth it.