Forever yours

By: Emilio Burnfeild

"Soon there, Matthew. It's just around the corner." Francis said and started to slow down.

The boy let out a sigh of relief. They had been driving around for about fifteen minutes, crossing roads, taking shortcuts, stopping and hiding. Francis had done everything to make sure they were not found. And now finally, this madness was coming to an end. Matthew felt how his whole body was sore from stress. He still had unanswered questions but was fine with the thought of taking them when the heat was over.

"Matthew?" Francis seemed to have calmed down now. He was not as aggressive as before.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I had to drag you in to all of this. And...I'm sorry it had to end this way..." Matthew's overworked mind didn't have time to process before Francis had stopped the scooter and they where hit with a bright light. Matthew shut his eyes and held his hand in front of the beams.

"N.Y.P.D! Get of the vehicle!" A voice in front of them shouted as Matthew started to see again. There where five police cars on the end of the street, their headlight pointed at both Matthew and Francis as if they where on a stage.

"Matthew-" Francis was interrupted by the man's loud voice.

"Get of the vehicle now!"

"Matthew get off." The Frenchman pushed Matthew lightly until the boy got to his feet.

"What on earth is happening." Matthew felt his pulse exhilarate and his knees shake. Where was Arthur? He said he should be here. In sheer desperation Matthew turned back to Francis. He was still sitting on the scooter. "Francis what are you doing?"

"Please forgive me, Matthew." He said and shook his head. In his eyes where pure anguish.

"W-What? Sorry?" In the boy's confusion he heard his fathers voice.

"Matthew get the hell away from him!" Arthur's dark figured outlined in front of the cars a few feet away.

"Dad!" Matthew took a few steps towards him but then turned back to Francis again. "Francis what are you doing?"

"I can't stay."

"Yes, come you'll be safe with me. The officers will protect you."

"No, Matthew. They wont. I have to go. I have to run away." Matthew didn't have time to ask why before Arthur's presence cut the air.

"He's a god damn murderer Matthew get away!" He was pleading. His voice shook and was full of fear. "Matthew!" The boy froze as he saw how Arthur was being held back by another figure. Matthew eyes widened as he looked back Francis. The man's gaze was lowered in the ground. Murderer? What the hell? How could he even be accused of something so corrupt? The boy felt how horror filled him as Francis didn't even try to deny this claim. He looked as if he swallowed the lie whole.

"Francis?" Matthew's eyes desperately searched for the ones he wanted to meet but the man didn't look at him. "Tell me this isn't true." The boy walked over to Francis and placed his hands on his shoulders. He shook them, hoping Francis would react but the man just smiled wistfully.

"I wish I could, Matthew. What your father says is true." As their eyes finally met something fell in Matthew. Something fragile busted in him and he couldn't piece it back together.

"No, you could never..." Matthew took a step back. He didn't understand. The boy saw the truth in Francis' eyes and yet he couldn't believe him.

"Get of your vehicle and get down on the ground!" Matthew felt how the moment ceased. Blue and red lights illuminated his surroundings. Francis was standing there. His eyes where filled with dread and sorrow. Murderer. Matthew couldn't get the word to unstuck. He saw it all over Francis. How

could a man such as him taken someone life? He had protected Matthew with all his might. They had laughed together, they had talked, they had danced, they had slept beside each other. This man had saved his life and Matthew had fallen for him. The boy couldn't help but to question himself.

Why was this happening? What had Matthew done wrong? How did he end up here?

The boy felt his perception of the world falling apart as he heard the man behind him scream on the top of his lungs. Without Matthew noticing, Francis had pulled put a revolver and now raised it.

"He's got a weapon!" The barrel was pointed directly at Matthew's chest.

"F-Francis?" The boy took a step back in utter confusion.

"I'm so sorry, Matthew." He said and closed his eyes.

"DROP YOUR WEAPON OR WE WILL SHOOT!" The screaming voice behind the boy startled him and made his mind caught up to reality. Matthew felt the panic in him rise as his legs were unable to move.

"What are you doing they are going to shoot you!" Matthew plead and felt his voice crack. He turned as soon as he heard his father's voice behind him.

"Don't shoot god damn it that's my son!" Arthur seemed like he was trying to disable another officer who was aiming at him and Francis.

"Go to him, Matthew." Francis eyes shimmered as he spoke softly. "It's for the best."

"No! I want to be with you! Stop this!"

"I SAID DROP YOUR WEAPON WE WILL FIRE!"

"I wont lower the gun unless you move, Matthew." Francis eyes where begging, his voice was harsh and his hand shaking.

"Don't do this to me. Don't leave me!" The boy plead as he now realized what was going on.

"Matthew!" Arthur was being held back by two officers at this point. He fought like a dog to get through. "Matthew!" The boy turned and twisted in anguish. What was he suppose to do? He didn't want to leave Francis in fear that he would disappear forever. But if he didn't he would be shot. Matthew knew very well how the police disabled criminals in the situation of hostage. Arthur had told him numerous of times. They didn't shoot to injure. They shot to kill.

"I'm sorry, Matthew. Goodbye." Matthew saw how Francis shifted the aim of his barrel upwards and then was deafened by the shot. The boy's jolted back and lost his balance. He crashed down hearing the screeching of his scooter. His ears ringed and his vision was unclear for a second before he managed to react. He sat up and searched the street. Francis was gone.

"Matthew! Matthew! Are you alright?!" Arthur sat down beside his son and checked his torso and legs.

Matthew only stared at the empty street in front of them. Police cars drove past him but he didn't even flinch.

"All units. All units. We have a wanted man heading-"

Arthur killed his police radio and hit Matthew's cheeks lightly. Instantly the boy blinked and returned to the moment.

"Matthew. Are you hurt?"

"N-No." Arthur nodded and drug Matthew up.

"Let's get you home."

-x-

Matthew stared down at the dining room table and tried his best to focus. His mind crumbled and he couldn't make sense of anything. Everything was a mess and he was unable to think. It was like his thoughts were covered in murkiness and he couldn't tell them apart. The only thing the boy was sure about was the turning feeling in his gut. He felt like he was going to throw up and pass out. Matthew's fingers were cold as they passed through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Matthew. Goodbye."

Matthew heard those words burn him. He saw Francis face before him. He didn't smile and his gaze was darker then ever. The mere expression of him was haunting to Matthew. The boy could tell that Francis was in pain and that he was afraid. At the same time, he was more soulless then ever. Matthew had stared down the barrel of his gun and held by the man he thought he knew. In that moment, Francis had turned to someone else.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? The night. Young and free."

Matthew remembered the darkness around them. The ropes underneath his body and the glassy sky above them. Francis had smiled looking up to the stars. Matthew reminded himself how warm he felt around the Frenchman, how calm he became in Francis presence.

What happened?

"God damn it!" Matthew jolted as Arthur roared when ended his phone call and kicked the bureau in the hall. The man took heavy steps to the kitchen and made the air unbreathable as he entered. "Alfred go to your room."

"Why?" Alfred didn't rise from his seat next to Matthew but continued to rest his hand on his brother's back.

"Because this is none of your bloody business." Arthur spat and continued to smash his feet into the ground as he walked to the opposite seat of Matthew. "Now!" Alfred gave Matthew a final pat before he left his side. Arthur's eyes followed him as he went out to the hall and as soon as he was out of sight the Brit sat down.

Matthew was terrified. Arthur's eyes where aflame and he oozed of wrath. He knitted his hands on the table and took a deep and forced breath. "I am going to ask you some questions Matthew and you are going to tell me the truth, you understand me?"

"Okay." The boy whispered as he felt his whole body tense. He felt as if Arthur was about to burn him alive. His gaze saw right into him and his voice was louder and more harsh then he had ever heard.

"Where is he hiding?"

"I-I don't know. His apartment?" Matthew felt Arthur's hostility grow as his face frowned and he lowered his tone of voice.

"Matthew, I'm not playing games here."

"No, I'm serious I-I don't know!"

"He has left New York and I want to know where he is. He told you, didn't he? He told you where he was going?"

"No." The boy looked down as his thoughts started to run. "He didn't tell me anything." Only now did Matthew realize that Francis had been very mysterious to him.

"You can go to jail for withholding information, Matthew. You do realize that." Arthur spoke fast and reminded Matthew of how a barking dog communicated. The Brit almost shouted his words out. The boy bit his thumb and questioned himself where Francis could be? He didn't know any other place then his apartment. "Matthew, look at me." Matthew raised his gaze and met Arthur's. "I know you might want to protect him, but he will meet his fate. He will be caught and he will be punished for his crimes. If you tell me what you know I can make it a hell of a lot easier for him, and for you."

Matthew sighed and leaned back in his chair."Yea." Francis would be punished. The thought made Matthew itch. He still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that the Frenchman actually was a criminal.

"Look. At. Me." Arthur lent forward on the table, almost as if he tried to remind Matthew that he was there. The boys was still in chock and had a hard time to tell the difference between the past and the present. He blinked twice to make himself more aware and raised his head again. "Matthew, where is he?"

"I-I don't know." The boy felt his heart ache as the fact that Francis was basically wanted and the person who should know where he was, was Matthew himself.

"Weren't you two close?" Arthur asked as Matthew felt his eyes soften a bit.

"Y-Yes. We..." Matthew could not bring himself to say were. He wanted to say are but in the same time he didn't know what he could say about them any more.

"What do you know about him?" Matthew's eyes lost focus as he dreamed back. There were only a few occasions on were Francis had talked about himself. He spoke manly about his moral and ideals, not about of who he was or where he came from.

"He is from Paris." Matthew said and stared down at his thumbs caressing each other. "He didn't talk so much about himself he...he was more interested in me more or less. Francis did tell me he worked at the Moulin Rouge, or well you did and he confirmed it for me. He has a flat down town. It's not so big. It was what he could afford. He doesn't have a lot of money. That's why he works on the strip club. He..." Matthew paused as he remembered how Francis scarred torso. The image of those scarlet burns and bruises was as clear as day to Matthew.

"Go on." Arthur implied. He sounded calmer now.

"Francis has a lot of injuries. He told me that his costumers had did it to him. I don't think he liked working at the Moulin Rouge. Except from when he dressed the girls."

"How bad were they?" Matthew lost track and raised his head.

"Sorry?"

"The injuries." Arthur had lowered his voice quiet a bit now. He almost didn't seem scary any more.

"Oh. Well, his wounds didn't look infected. It was just.." Matthew took a deep breath and caressed his hands in one another. "It was unpleasant to look at. It probably hurt. A lot. Though, it didn't seem to bother Francis much. I think...he was use to it maybe." Matthew's chest ached. It hurt him to think about in the state he had seen Francis. It was horrible. How could anyone had done that to him?

"Did you spend a lot of time together?" Matthew just stared at Arthur for a moment. Why was he asking this?

"A couple of times, yea."

"What did you do?" Matthew felt his heart skip a beat as he remembered all the awkward times he had been with Francis. Especially when he brought him the clothes. It was so embarrassing. But he also remembered them lying beside each other on the playground.

"We..uhm...We took a lot of walks. We went to a cafe once. Mostly we talked."

"And what did you talk about?" Matthew lost focus of his sight again and sunk down into his mind.

"He asked a lot about me and I told him what he wanted to hear. We talked a lot about my problems and such."

"About Billy?"

"Yes. And..." Matthew lost his voice as he pictured the bridge. He felt the rain on his skin and heard the cars pass behind him. The thing he recalled the most was the darkness and coldness of his mind. Francis had saved him. He had saved him by talking to him. He had done a lot for Matthew just by talking to him. The boy didn't realize this until now. Matthew felt his breathing getting out of control and how a cloud of emotion drizzled his mind. He placed his hand on his mouth and tried to breathe deeply.

"And what, Matthew? Talk to me." Arthur reached his hand over to Matthew and started to pet his arm.

"He was there. He was always there for me. I'm sorry I just..." The boy felt the tears coming and deduced that there was no point in hiding it. "Y-You know. My scooter was at the bridge."

"Mhm." Arthur nodded.

"There was a reason why it was there." Matthew felt Arthur's hand stiffen. "And...And there was a reason why I wasn't." Matthew said and felt the first tear fall. He didn't dry it but looked up at Arthur who's eyes were as big as the moon at this point. "He was the reason why I wasn't there. And he is the reason why I am not..." Matthew felt himself loosing it. "Crap." He dried his tears and swallowed it down the best he could. "I'm sorry this is just...It's a bit too much right now."

"I understand." Arthur cleared his throat and looked away from Matthew for the first time in forever. He caressed his jaw and took a deep breath. "That's...That's all I need to know for the moment, Matthew." The man said and rose from his seat and left Matthew in the kitchen without another word.

-x-

Matthew stared into the pale roof ahead of him. He couldn't sleep but only think about Francis. He had constant flashbacks illuminating his mind. It seemed almost as if he watched a movie in his own head. Matthew even heard Francis voice silently in the distance.

"No, no, Matthew. I'll lead."

The boy closed his eyes and hummed. The tunes where as clear as if they where played to him in the moment. The music faded however as Matthew felt his emotion rush over him. He remembered how he felt at that moment. His whole body had been fragile, as if he would break by the slightest touch. Despite this fact Matthew had softly placed himself next to Francis without fear. It was as if he was meant to be next to him. It was as if they had fit together. Matthew could smell Francis' fragrance and feel his soft hair on his face. The harsh stubble on the man's jaw had tickled Matthew as they turned round the room. Matthew had latched onto Francis, holding his hand and clenching his shoulder. His heart had beat harder then ever as he placed his head down and snuggled up to Francis. Even though Matthew had insecurities, he had given in to his yearning for Francis' warmth and touch. The boy had never felt so peaceful as when he was in the Frenchman's embrace.

The tranquil feeling didn't last as the memory continued. The piercing ache of Francis leaving the boy's side hit Matthew. He didn't want him to leave. Matthew wanted to hold on to him harder than anything else. He didn't want to let him go and he didn't want him to forget him. He didn't want to be alone again. He didn't want the music to stop. He wanted to be close. He wanted to be safe. He wanted to feel loved.

The question was however if Francis really did love him.

Matthew opened his eyes and saw the pale roof again. Maybe, Francis didn't want the boy the same way that Matthew wanted him? The thought consumed Matthew and he felt himself getting colder. The fear of rejection grew in him. Even though he didn't know where Francis was or what he was doing he still wanted to know. Did he even like him in that way? What if he just wanted to be friends?

Well it didn't matter now. There was no way he would ever know. Unless he was caught. Matthew bit his lip and shut his eyes tight. He didn't want to think about the present. He wanted to remember Francis as he was before this day had burnt the perfect image of him.

A knock on his door made Matthew break free from his thoughts.

"Matthew, are you awake?" It was Alfred. The boy frowned and turned to his nightstand. 01:35. What was he doing up at this hour?

"Yea." Matthew responded and sighed.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Alfred carefully opened the door and closed it as he had entered the room. His head was low and he walked over to the bed.

"Scoop over." A bit surprised Matthew blinked before he moved in towards the wall and Alfred laid down. He sighed as he landed on the pillow next to Matthew.

"Alfred why-"

"I can't sleep. I just...can't. And I noticed you were awake so..."

"How did you know I was-"

"I heard you." Alfred seemed tense. His responses where faster then Matthew's questions and his breath was heavy.

"Oh, sorry."

"No worries. What song was it?"

"I...I don't know." Matthew was drawn back to the moment in Francis apartment and he felt the pain sting in him again. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. He didn't want to have a breakdown when his brother was there. Instead he concentrated on the white roof again.

"Matthew." Alfred spoke as if in a haste and shifted his arms up and put them behind his head. "I need to ask you something." The boy glanced over to his brother. He was nervous. Alfred was clenching his jaw and his eyes where more then focused.

"Do you-" Alfred stopped himself but then filled his lungs with air as if to charge. "Do you like guys?" His head turned to Matthew as he finished his sentence. Alfred looked directly into his brothers eyes and Matthew felt himself redden and his head fog of steam.

"W-What? Alfred w-why..."

"I need to know." His face was also turning red but his expression was serous. "You like Francis, don't you?" Now Matthew felt how the embarrassment swelled in him and how his head was about to burst.

"No! I-I mean..." Matthew closed his eyes and hid his face in his hands. "Oh god." The boy felt his heart racing. What was he going to tell Alfred? He couldn't tell him he was really in love!

"Matthew. Matthew look at me." Alfred's hand lifted Matthew's and he clenched it tight. "It's okay if you are gay." The boy felt how his breathing lost control as the word burned inside him.

"I'm not gay Alfred I just..." Matthew tried to hide himself but Alfred persisted.

"Hey." Alfred said softly as he finally managed to turn Matthew's face towards his. "It's okay."

"No, Alfred . I'm not gay I just..." Matthew felt how his tongue slipped. It was hard for him to talk because he didn't want to say it. He didn't want to admit it to someone else. "I just like him, okay?" Matthew now felt how his body was trembling with fear. He didn't want his brother to see him as someone else. He didn't want to have label printed on him. He just wanted to be Matthew, nothing else.

"Matthew, It's okay. I understand it might be scary. I mean you haven't liked anyone before and it might feel weird that the first one is a guy but I'm happy for you." Alfred's tension seemed to loosen as he smiled. "You are still my brother Matthew, and I won't judge you. I won't." Matthew felt a rush in him. It spread like rings in water and with every wavy he got less concerned and more emotional.

"I'm sorry about last time. I didn't know how to react. Matthew, I'm sorry. Forgive me. I didn't want to scare you. It was just a bit surprising to me." Alfred was silent for a moment before he started to blink as his eyes glistened. "I'll love you no matter what, okay? I don't care who you are with or who you choose to be because I will always love you." Matthew felt his eyes water as Alfred continued. "When I found your scooter on the bridge I was scared shitless. I thought you had really jumped."

"Alfred..." Matthew plead as he needed to hear no more.

"I thought it was my fault. I didn't understand and I said something I shouldn't have and... I'm so sorry Matthew. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." Matthew felt Alfred's hand tighten around his. "I want you to know that you'll always be my brother no matter what."

Matthew saw Alfred smile before the tears in him eyes blinded him and he was brought into a soft embrace.