AN: Hey Rusher and Rushettes here is the next chapter. It's longer than the last one. So I hope you enjoy and review. It's kinda a filler but some key points happen here that will play a big role later on! WARNING: Smut and violence! I waited to post until I got more reviews my awesome friend Jen caught up and reviewed every chapter but you have to read the last chapter for this to make sense! Enjoy and review!

"It's been 20 minutes. I don't think she's going to show up."

"Hey you don't know that, she said she would." I said patting his arm. "I mean she's coming from Kendall's all the way here, maybe there was traffic."

Carlos had been making amends, slowly but surely. It had been a week since our therapy session. He had already spoken with Kendall, Logan, Kelly and Gustavo and me. We decided to work up to James, our parents and Shane. Carlos had been dreading today for the past week. Last week after sitting down Carlos had made a list of everyone he felt he should apologize to. Abigail was number two on that list, right after me. Kendall was still in touch with her and it turned out she was living in San Diego. He had convinced her to call me, and I had somehow convinced her to meet us in LA so Carlos could apologize to her. I thought about our phone call.

"Look Riley you seem really nice and everything and I'm glad it worked out for you but I've moved on and I'm fine. I don't see why he deserves a chance to apologize for what he did." She had said after I had asked her. "We were young and he's an ass, end of story."

"Yeah but he's trying to be a better person and he did jail time and he wants to make amends and stop feeling as guilty. I understand that you might scared but-"

"Yeah I'm not scared of him." She scoffed. "I just don't want to waste anymore of my time. I wasted a year in therapy."

"Okay." I sighed. "Please just think about it."

There was silence on her end. "Fine but I'm not coming by myself. You gonna be there too?"

I smiled to myself. "Yeah if you want me too."

"Fine but I'm not going to waste all day there."

We had worked out the details and decided to get coffee together and she and her girlfriend had spent the morning with the guys, so in her words, 'the whole day wouldn't be a complete waste".

Carlos stood up. "I d-don't think I can do this."

"Babe sit down. It's going to be okay."

He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. "What if I scare her, or say something stupid?"

"Well you saying something stupid is a given."

"Shit." He mouthed before turning around. "H-hey."

Abigail stared at him, and for a second I swear she cowered and wasn't standing there with us but somewhere far off in the past. Her face betrayed her cool demeanor because you could see fear on her face for just a moment.

"Hi."

I stood up, hoping to make this easier for Carlos. "Hey I'm Riley."

She shook my hand. She was gorgeous she shorter than I was and had bright red hair that was in a bob and seemed so sure of herself that I was surprised she had put up with Carlos for four months.

She smiled. "Nice to meet you, this is Leah."

The girl behind her was just as pretty. We shook hands and Carlos nervously shook hands with them before we all sat down. We ordered coffee and awkwardly avoided eye contact until Abigail cleared her throat.

"So are you going to apologize or what?" She snapped.

Carlos shut his eyes and nodded. "Uh yeah." He sat up at little straighter and looked directly at her.

"Abs I-"

"Abigail." She corrected him.

He flushed and took a deep breath. "Abigail. It's been 7 years since we dated and since I hurt you and I've felt guilty about it everyday. I know I was a shitty boyfriend, I mean all did was hang out with the guys and play hockey and be a dick to you."

She sipped her coffee and nodded. "Go o-on."

"And the first time I hit you I had been so angry because my parents were fighting and you had said something I didn't like and I hit you and I'm so sorry and you took me back even though I knew you shouldn't have."

She bit her lip and grabbed Leah's hand. "Yeah because I said maybe you should hang out with me instead of the guys. So you know a smack in the face is totally reasonable."

Carlos squirmed in his seat. "I was so depressed and so angry about everything. Which isn't an excuse but I really cared about you and I just want you to be happy and maybe forgive me."

I squeezed his hand and smiled encouragingly at him and hoped Abigail would forgive him. I liked that she was making him really work for it. That way he'd know how wrong it was. If things were different I feel like we would've been friends.

"Forgive you, for what exactly? For beating me to a pulp because I didn't go to a hockey tournament and not stopping until the guys walked in at your party? Or should I forgive you for holding me down and trying to sleep me? Or for pushing me down that flight of stairs at school because skirt was "too short"?"

Carlos and I both frowned. I did because I could see Carlos doing those things to her. Just how he slapped me for not sleeping with him, or beating me up for writing a song, or kicking my legs so I couldn't wear shorts anymore. I had a knot in my stomach. I focused on the number of sugar packets on the table and tried not to freak myself out.

"F-for everything. I mean I have no right to expect it but I am so sorry." His voice was soft and desperate. "Abigail I am sorry. I'm trying to make things better for everyone. For you, for Riley, the guys, my son. And I want for us all to have peace about it. I know I apologized when you were in the hospital but I was 16 and stupid then."

Abigail sniffled. "Yeah exactly we were sixteen. You were my first serious boyfriend I mean I knew I was bi back then but you just completely ruined me for a long time. I mean I forgive your shitty behavior because we can't change that but I can't forgive you and everything instantly be okay."

"What do I have to do?" Carlos' hand shook in mine.

"You have to think to yourself everyday. 'How can I not be a psychopath today?'" She said dryly. " I forgive I really do I'm fine, I've been fine for a while but you're going to need more than my forgiveness to make your "amends" or whatever you're calling this. Because I may be fine and have peace about you hurting me but not everyone is okay."

She and Leah stood up and Carlos looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Look at her she's freaked out." She pointed at me and I couldn't breathe. "I think she needs to forgive you more than me. See ya around Riley."

They left and Carlos turned to me. "Baby breathe. Hey it's okay you're safe."

I drew in a sharp breath. "You were awful to her. You pushed her down stairs?!" I was horrified as I stood up. "I love you I really do but if you ever lay another finger on me I don't think I can stay."

"That's the old me. I swear." He kissed my fingers. "Hey she forgave me, I'm going to make you proud."

I nodded numbly. "C-can we go home. Please?"

"Of course."

He wrapped his arm around me and led me to the car and he drove. I relaxed a little as I looked at him. Even though he kept looking nervously at me he looked at little lighter. It must have felt good to get some of the weight off his shoulders. I reached into my purse and pulled out the sticky note that had been unfolded and refolded so many times in the last few days that it was almost completely deteriorated and my handwriting was nearly illegible because of all the underlined words and scribbles. It was my list of people I wanted to make amends with.

1. Family

I wanted to apologize to them for Carlos' behavior, for scaring them and for disappointing them because I decided to be with Carlos. I did it last night over a video call. It had gone well and my mom reassured me I had nothing to be sorry for, they were just concerned for my safety. My dad however was awaiting an apology from Carlos. As was Shane who I spoke to separately was still angry and was sporting a black eye and split lip.

2. Fans

I was confident that I could achieve this by posting on Scuttlebutt and explaining myself. I still felt like a hypocrite for saying that you should never take back an abuser but doing so anyways. I would deal with that later though. I wasn't ready.

3. Logan and Kendall

Maybe other than my fans and James these two deserved the world's largest, most heartfelt, and genuine apology. They had put up with my bullshit for years and even stood by me after I cheated on their best friend. They had picked me up and put me back together so many times.

4. James

Like Carlos I was dreading this apology. James had been so sweet and had protected me from so much and helped me feel beautiful again and I had cheated. Even though he had cheated as well I still shouldn't have led him on like I did towards the end.

I refolded my list and put in back in my purse and reached for Carlos' hand. I immediately felt the anxiety dissipate from my stomach from at his touch. I smiled slightly as he looked over at me.

"Are you okay?" We asked at the same time, causing us to laugh a little.

"I'm fine. I'm just really proud of you." Carlos turned red. "No seriously I know how hard that must have been, but you apologized anyways. I can tell you already feel better. I mean hearing what you d-did to her scared me but that was the old you."

Nodding his head as he drove, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. "Having you there made it easier. I really appreciate it and I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm glad."

We got into our apartment and I sent Logan and Kendall texts asking if I could drop by in a few minutes.

"Babe?" I asked as I walked into our room where Carlos was changing. "I'm going to Logan's and probably Kendall's in a few minutes."

"Why?" He asked tugging basketball shorts over his hips. "What's wrong?"

I fished the note out of my bag. "Nothing. I just want to get theirs over with, you know?"

"Oh okay. Do you want me to come?"

I shook my head.

"No I'm fine. But maybe when I get back we can celebrate the fact that we made progress." I winked, placing my hand on his shoulder.

Carlos smirked and kissed letting his hand trail down my backside.

"Well in that case." He said between kisses. "Take your time, but you know hurry back."

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my keys. "Bye babe."

I went to Kendall's first because he was closer to our place. I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet in the elevator as I figured out where to begin. I knocked on the door and took a deep breath.

"Hey what's going on?" Kendall asked after letting me in. "Abby told me he apologized and freaked you out. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine but you know how he's apologizing. Well I am too, I feel guilty about some of the stuff that's happened between us."

Kendall sat down next to me. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I mean you gave up a lifelong friendship to save me. I made us vs Carlos. And I made t-things hard by staying with him and going back to him." I played with my hands. "I cheated on James, your best friend since kindergarten and you still talk to me. I just feel guilty about being a burden."

Kendall clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Don't ever say that about yourself. You've never been a burden, I just wanted to keep you safe. You're my best friend and I'm always going to support you."

I hugged him. "T-thank you Kendall. You've literally saved my life and I can't ever repay you."

"Well being careful is a good place to start."

I stood up and grabbed my bag.

"I am. I just got nervous today. But after we both make amends and know we're ready like after tour and stuff I want to have a baby." I smiled widely at the end.

Kendall grinned. "What really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I haven't told anyone but we talked about the other day."

He hugged me tightly. "I am really happy for you."

"Thank you."

"Are you going to Logie's next?"

I checked my phone and saw that he had just gotten back from work.

"Yeah. He just got home from work so I'm going to make it quick."

He walked me to the door. "Have fun. We all need to get together soon is been a while."

"We should, see you later."

I left Kendall's already feeling better. It did feel really good to make things right. I knew Logan would be easier. So when I knocked and he let me in I was direct.

"How was work?" I asked watching as he undid his tie.

He shrugged. "Good. So what's up?"

"I'm making amends with the people I may of hurt last time I dated Carlos." I said, pulling out my list. "I'm going to be quick though."

Logan smiled a little. "Okay."

"Logan you were the first person I told about Carlos. That night you let me inside I didn't know what I would've done if you hadn't opened the door. I was terrified and had just been traumatized. And you made everything okay and I just wanted to say thank you."

"Hey it was no problem. I just wanted to protect you. You're like a sister to me."

We hugged for a moment.

"And I just wanted to say I'm sorry for dragging you into the middle of my drama all the time. First with saving me and now leaving James."

"I just want you to be happy. And if it isn't with James that's fine. I can tell you love Carlos."

"Really?"

"Yes. The way you act around him is different than last time. So as long as you're safe you have nothing to be sorry about. James and Carlos, if they really loved you, would want you to be happy."

I hugged Logan tightly. "Thanks Logie. You always me feel better."

He laughed. "Well that literally is my job so it's no problem."

"I know you just got home from work so I'll let you relax. I'll text you."

He waved. "Alright bye Riley."

I opened the door. "See ya."

As I took the elevator bad downstairs and got into my car I kept thinking about the glaring omission from the amends that I had made today. He had come up in both conversations. I drove through the onslaught of rush hour traffic I turned left, towards the highway that led to the suburbs.

"You're being ridiculous. You don't even know if he's home." I thought to myself as I got closer. "He might not even want to talk to you."

After driving through the gate I parked in front of my old house. I walked up the path and knocked on the door. I ran my hand through my hair and nervously fidgeted.

"Riley?" He asked opening the door and scrunching his face in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"H-hey James." I smiled softly. "Can I come in?"

He ushered me in and I down in the kitchen.

"So are you okay? You're not like hurt or anything are you?"

"No. No it's not that." I said quickly. "Uh Carlos and I went to therapy last week and Mary suggested that we make amends to those who we hurt and I already apologized to Kendall and Logan and I thought I would come here."

James leaned against the counter. "Okay. So what's up?"

"Well I just wanted to say how sorry I am for cheating on you and how wrong it was to do that to you. I know that doesn't fix anything and maybe none of this will. But I'm sorry for leading you on and just leaving you because things got hard."

"I'm sorry for cheating too." He seemed a little upset. "It was really shitty. I'm sorry for getting rough with you."

"I'm also sorry for dating you for four years and then going back to Carlos. I did really love you and you made me so happy. We were just too different."

James walked over to the island where I was sitting. "I forgive you, I really do but I love you. I always thought it would be you and me."

I patted his shoulder after I stood up, ready to go home. "So did I but things changes."

James bit his lip and looked at me. His hazel eyes bright and full of sadness. He hugged me after seeing me grab my purse. I hugged back, breathing in his familiar scent. I pulled back, wanting to leave before I felt bad. James grip tightened slightly and before I realized what was happening he leaned in and kissed me.

His lips pressed to mine and he titled his head. I immediately pushed him away.

"Nope. This isn't happening. I'm not going to cheat on him. I'm going to blame this one emotions and you being sad but that can't happen again."

"Riley I miss you. I miss you so much can we at least be friends again?"

"Friends yes. But that's it nothing more James. I love Carlos."

He nodded. "You're right I'm sorry. I really am."

"It's fine." I said rolling my eyes. "I'll see you later."

I walked out of be house and got back in the car. I was just ready to be home with Carlos. Face to face apologies weren't for everyone.

When I walked into the apartment I saw Los playing a video game, I walked in front of the TV and stood there.

"Hey how'd it go?"

Instead of responding I pulled my shirt over my head and stood still waiting for him to respond. I just wanted to be close to him in a way James and I never were. He smiled and stood up and kissed me. I kissed back and wrapped my arms around him. He undid my bra and I took his shirt off.

He moaned as I sucked and nipped at the skin near his ear. I kicked off my sandals and let him back me up against the wall. We made out and he tangled his fingers in my hair.

"Do you want to go to our room?" He asked as his chest heaved.

I shook my head and shimmied out of my jeans. "Here's fine."

Carlos kissed up and down my stomach before kissing all over my neck. I shoved his shorts down around his ankles and he kicked them off. I reached into his boxers and wrapped my hand around him and pumped slowly. His breath hitched slightly and he closed his eyes.

"Shit."

Keeping my hand around him I leaned up kissed him, while tugging his hair with my other hand. He leaned down and moaned a little more. He reached down and unwrapped my fingers from his cock. He took off his boxers and I took off my underwear, I looked at him excitedly and flushed as he looked over me.

"You're so hot Riley."

I wrapped my legs around him and he pushed me up against the wall.

"Fuck, Carlos." I stifled a gasp as he pushed into me.

He had his face in my neck as he thrust his hips into mine. I wrapped my arms around him and felt my back press against the cold wall. I bit my lip, knowing that this would be quick.

"Kiss me." I whispered

Carlos looked up and smiled before attaching his lips to mine. Soon his thrusts became sloppier and less forceful. He came first, spilling inside of me and I did shortly after. I unwrapped my legs and we stood there foreheads to forehead as we caught our breath.

I smiled up at him. "I love you."

"Love you too Ri."

He reached down and grabbed my shirt and pulled his boxers on. I put my shirt back on and kissed him once more.

"I'm gonna shower."

I walked into the bathroom and showered quickly and cleaned myself up. As I let the water pour over me I thought of how exciting it was to be close to Carlos. He made me feel different than James, sexier and braver. That kiss meant nothing to me, it was just him still being attached. I decided to ignore it and bring it up later, if it bothered me.

After dinner and some TV, Carlos and I laid in bed.

"You know we should that more often." He said as he turned to me.

"Oh yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah it was kinda hot."

Blushing, I swatted at his shoulder. "It was."

He draped an arm around me and pulled me close. "I love you so much."

I kissed him and scooted in closer to him. "I love you and only you."

Carlos gave me a tired smile. "Night babe."

We laid there and I sighed. I did love him and only him. No one else would ever come between us.

AN: well I know this wasn't posted right after the last chapter but I waiting on reviews. Seriously it's not the hard. Well I hoped you enjoyed and I'm really excited for this story and where it's going. See you later this week.