New Beginnings and Sudden Endings
Ob1MegOb1
Author's Note: Alright my faithful readers…I know you have waited a while for this and I apologize for that. This chapter was hard because I didn't know whether to make this the end or continue on. And I decided that for this adventure…this is it…this is the final chapter. But for this story this is not the end. I plan on writing a sequel that may or may not be as long as this one but it will be a continuation. I have become so reinvigorated in this world again and I want to continue writing in it.
This story has been an emotional roller coaster since the beginning but so much of an adventure to write. I really tried to do my homework for this story and make sure that the struggle that the characters experienced felt real. And I know that's odd that I decided to do this for this world in particular. This show/manga is a comedy and has always been a pick me up for me. But it has also balanced drama so well and I wanted to capture that a little bit and I hope I did. I hope this story has been good for all of you and that you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I am also happy to continue this story in another adventure and I look forward to starting that.
And as a sidenote I take no credit for the song in this chapter…that credit all belongs to Josh Groban. If you know the song…yeah I know you have to adjust to thinking how a girl would sing it but I just remember listening to it the other day and thinking…this is the perfect song for the Kyoya in my story.
Enjoy the last chapter readers and I hope to see you in the next adventure!
Chapter 25
New Beginnings
"Haruhi we are going to be late!" Ranka called from the door, "Hikaru and Kaoru are already here with the car!" No answer from her bedroom.
"Let us try," Hikaru said softly. Ranka nodded his head letting them go past. It was hard to believe this was such a joyous yet sad occasion. Especially since the person who they were going to celebrate didn't even want them there technically. Well that is what Haruhi said…Ranka wasn't entirely sure that was the case.
"I'm sorry," Haruhi said suddenly bursting through the door. Hikaru and Kaoru only stared at her realizing she was wearing a dress and looked nice with her longer hair. "What?" she said at the three staring at her.
"Nothing its just," Hikaru said a smile on his face, "you know the Boss…he would have loved this."
She smiled sadly at that, "Yeah he would have wouldn't he?" She sighed, "I know they are going to do a quick recognition for Tamaki but are we making the right decision going for Kyoya? He has made his feelings clear."
"Hey just because he chose to give up the club doesn't mean the club has given up on him," Hikaru said a bitter tone in his voice. Kaoru smiled at him because despite his bitter tone he knew that he cared a lot more then he let on.
"Your right," Haruhi said with sad smile, "And its what Tamaki would have done."
"Then what are we waiting for?" Ranka said quietly behind them all.
(After the Ceremony)
"Alright everybody get ready to spread out and find him," Honey said with all the enthusiasm he could muster. "Mori and I will go this way! Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi go that way!" And they all took off at full speed leaving Ranka in the dust behind them. Haruhi stayed close to the twins but she wasn't sure she shared their enthusiasm at this moment.
It had been surreal the whole thing. They had kept a seat open for Tamaki, for his memory, a uniform draped over it. His father had accepted his certificate and there hadn't been a sound in the auditorium during that moment. Haruhi also thought there hadn't been a dry eye either. Tamaki had been beloved to so many…his presence was truly missed. She still expected to see him bounding up at any moment with one of his crazy schemes. She shook her head trying to stay in the moment of finding Kyoya.
Kyoya had done the shocking thing and completely returned to his original status at school. Distant, cold, top of the class…and they had no idea if his memories had fully returned or not. And when Haruhi saw him she got the distinct feeling that he didn't care.
"Look there's his father!" Hikaru said pointing across the crowd to where Mr. Ootori was talking with some of the other parents there. No doubt starting the networking process for Kyoya.
"But he's not with them," Haruhi said confused, "where would he have gone?"
(Kyoya)
He wasn't entirely sure why he was standing outside this room. He had avoided it the moment he had returned to school. And yet today he could not ignore it. He had unwillingly felt drawn to it. Maybe it was Tamaki's memorial today at the ceremony…he didn't know. But by all accounts the room sounded empty. As he started to walk away though there was the sound of a piano playing on the inside.
It was clear and beautiful and for a moment Kyoya thought…that maybe…he rested his hand on the door ignoring every instinct to walk away. It wasn't Tamaki in there…Tamaki was gone. But as the piano continued…"Damn you Tamaki if this is another one of your tricks," he muttered.
"Don't look at me," his voice said in his head, "you've been ignoring me for months."
So to shut him up Kyoya gently pushed open the door. The memories flooded back as soon as he opened the door but there was no denying that the energy and light that had once filled this room was gone. The master of the house was gone. He looked over to the piano and he found a young woman sitting there playing. While she wasn't as flowing as Tamaki she was still good by normal standards. Suddenly she stopped in the middle of the song her head falling into her hands. She was crying.
Kyoya turned to go, not wanting to disturb her in what he assumed was grief over Tamaki. Maybe she was one of the old clients feeling sad after the memorial today. Unfortunately he accidentally bumped into a chair the scraping sound echoing in the room. The woman turned at the sound and his breath caught as he recognized her. "Renae?" he said under his breath.
"Kyoya," she said softly standing up and wiping the tears from her face. Kyoya suddenly felt a pang of guilt go through him for a second. Had anybody told her? Or anybody of consequence at least? She deserved to know from somebody else beside the staff about what had happened to Tamaki.
"What are you doing here?" he said softly.
"Well I did promise I would be here for graduation," she said softly a sad smile on her face. She looked around the clubroom longingly. "He always promised to show me around this place…and we were supposed to perform…" Her voice caught at that.
"You weren't at the services," he said taking a step forward.
"I couldn't fly out…I called his mother and we talked for a very long time. She didn't know that Tamaki and I were still talking to each other. I apologized for not being able to come…it broke my heart actually to not be able to." Her eyes were sad and faraway as she talked to him. She had to mourn this alone…with nobody beside her. At the very least he was glad she had contacted Anne, Tamaki's mother. That they had been able to talk to each other again after all this. "But how have you been Kyoya?" she asked breaking his thoughts.
"Fine," he said immediately catching her by surprise, "I've been fine. Focused on school."
"Congratulatons on that by the way," she said a nervous smile on her face, "Top of your class after everything you have been through, is nothing short of amazing."
"So I am told," he said evenly, "constantly."
She took a deep breath and then said something that surprised him, "You lied to me that day." His head jolted up at that his face confused. "You told me he was fine when I called," she said her voice shaking.
"Because he was," Kyoya said right away, "when you called he was fine…it happened so fast."
"I'm sorry," she said walking forward, "I just," her voice shook and the tears began to glisten in her eyes again. "I miss the letters…the correspondence. I was so excited to see this place but I know…its not what it once was."
Kyoya smiled, "For a moment there while you were playing I thought that-" She looked up at him sympathetic.
"Kyoya—" she started to say but they both jumped though as the door to the club opened again. Oh no Kyoya couldn't help but think as Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi came through the door. "Why are we even bothering?" Hikaru said irritably, "He won't—" But all their eyes widened as they realized he was in here.
"Shit, I spoke too soon," Hikaru muttered.
Haruhi however noticed the woman standing behind Kyoya. Her heart swelled with sadness and happiness to see her, "Renae?"
"Haruhi," Renae said rushing forward past Kyoya and embracing her hard.
"I'm so glad to see you," Haruhi said. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back. It's just been…."
"I know and I understand," she said smiling.
Haruhi finally looked past her though and finally to Kyoya whose gazed was averted away from her. "Kyoya-senpai," she said calmly. His eyes shot up to her as she said his name. "I just wanted to say congratulations on graduating. And," she paused her breath catching, "he would have been proud of you."
The whole room went quiet as she said that and they all watched Kyoya carefully. But there was no change to his stoic features. "Thank you Fujioka," he said quietly, "I appreciate the praise." And then he turned walking out of the room.
"But," Haruhi said wanting to go after him but Hikaru and Kaoru gently grabbed her.
"You told him Haruhi," they both said, "you did what you were supposed to." But Haruhi hadn't wanted him to leave. She thought maybe he want…but then again this wasn't the same Kyoya. But then again if it wasn't then why had he been here? Why had he come back to this place he avoided like the plague if he didn't really care?
"It's alright," Renae said quietly, "he knows. He may not show it but he does."
"Oh I've been rude," Haruhi said turning Renae around towards the twins, "Renae this is-"
"The twins," Renae said laughing, "Hikaru and Kaoru right?"
"Yeah?" they said unsure as to why this person knew who they were.
"She's an old friend of Tamaki's from France, " Haruhi said explaining everything. "Her and Tamaki had continued to correspond after he left France and he told her everything about all of us essentially. You know Tamaki." They smiled at that. "We met her during the visit to America."
"A pleasure," they both said extending their hands.
Renae laughed a little as she did, "Oh Tamaki used to write some interesting letters about you two. Always up to trouble."
"Yes well that is our speciality," Hikaru said smiling. "Especially when it came to the Boss."
"You and Kyoya," Haruhi said changing the subject, "were you two talking when we came in."
"Yes," she said softly, "he caught me playing the piano and subsequently crying over Tamaki." Her face was sad as she said that. "I just regret that I never got to sing while he played here. This place that had become so special to him and he was so excited that me and him would finally be on the same continent again."
There was suddenly a light that picked up in Hikaru's eyes, "Well why not? I mean this is a school for people are talented beyond belief. I know it won't be Tamaki playing but maybe it can be a song that was important to you two? I can find somebody to play piano…there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to keep your promise to Tamaki. Even if he isn't here."
"Hikaru," Kaoru said softly.
"Come on Kaoru lets go!" And within a minute they were both gone leaving Haruhi and Renae alone in the room.
Renae laughed, "I see what he meant by everyone's enthusiasm. Although I do play the piano so we don't need to actually find anyone."
"Yeah well getting all the facts is sometimes not the boy's strong suit," Haruhi said rolling her eyes, "Especially since Kyoya left the club. That was really his job and strong suit back in the day. I think in some ways it still is its just…different now." They both sat at the piano but Haruhi could tell that Renae was unsure as she sat down.
"You know if it's going to be too hard for you, you don't have to do this," Haruhi said softly.
"No it's fine," she said smiling, "but its just so odd for me because Tamaki was just so superior to me that of course I let him play. He always said I didn't give myself enough credit."
"Before I start," she said turning to Haruhi and indicating the seat next to her. "Are you okay Haruhi?"
She looked at her surprised by her question, "What do you mean?"
Renae gave her a comforting look, "Haruhi-"
Haruhi turned away from her gently playing with the keys of the piano, "I still see him everyday. This room has always been the worst…honestly I haven't come here in weeks," she said her voice beginning to shake. "I just miss him so much…why do all the people I love leave me. My mom…Tamaki…" Renae encircled her arms around her holding her close.
"None of this is your fault," she said softly. "People leave…unfortunately that is a part of life. The sad thing is we never know when they will leave us. And that is what makes it hurt so much. But know this Haruhi, I am here now. If you ever need anyone, although I doubt you will be in short supply here, you can always call me."
"Thank you," she said softly.
Renae took a deep breath, "Well I guess I have a song. There were two songs that me and Tamaki had been corresponding about. Even sending lyrics and sound clips for. I just hope I can stay strong for you guys playing it. And I hope this helps Tamaki to return to this room…if only for a few moments. And who knows this song may reach some others as well." She paused for a moment almost like she was afraid to start. And then finally she did the opening notes and for a moment she was transported.
Over mountains and sky blue seas
On great circles will you watch for me?
The sweetest feeling I've got inside
I just can't wait to get lost in your eyes
And all these words that you meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them hidden away
Even though the song had began the whole room went quiet. For a moment Haruhi could almost remember what it had been like… It had seemed so much simpler then. Back then they were just thinking up all these crazy schemes. They were just being high school students trying to make it through their normal daily lives. Before the accident…before everything had changed for all of them.
Sing it out so I can finally breathe in,
I can take in all you say
Holding out for something i believe in
All I really need today
I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart hidden away
But as the song advanced Haruhi began to realize that this wasn't just some song they had thought up in their spare time. The lyrics they seemed to call out to one person. And Haruhi knew who it was for and that it figured she would choose to play a song about him today. But maybe she wasn't' doing it for herself. She was doing it for him…for Tamaki. Because this was what he would have wanted.
You're a wonder, how bright you shine
A flickering candle in a short lifetime
A secret dreamer that never shows
If no one sees you then nobody knows
And all these words you were meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don't keep them hidden away
He stood out there not even pretending to know who he had written that song for. And why Renae had chosen to sing it now. If Tamaki had been here….
"It would have been for you," he heard his voice say to him. "With that hope that someday you would return home." He leant up against the door wanting to go back in there but he just couldn't. To him that was taking two steps back. That going back there would just remind him of what he didn't know but so desperately wanted to. They had no idea how it felt to miss someone so completely and not completely know or remember why.
"Kyoya Ootori," he heard a voice say next to him and he looked to see Headmaster Suoh as well as Tamaki's mother Anne and his grandmother behind him.
"Headmaster Suoh," he said quickly bowing. What were they doing here?
Sing it out so I can finally breathe in
I can take in all you say
Reaching out for someone I believe in
All I really need today
I want to feel your love
Will you reveal your love
Please don't keep your love hidden away
Tamaki's mother stepped forward looking towards the door. "I had heard she was here," she said softly, "it is so nice to hear Renae singing again. And to hear Tamaki's composition playing with her."
"It had been a while since I had seen Renae as well," the Chairman said quietly, "I heard her music on some of the CDs that her and Tamaki would send back and forth but never in person. I also wanted to thank her for being a good friend to him despite being so far away. I heard you and Haruhi got to meet her during the trip to America?"
"Yes," Kyoya said quickly, "we did." Of course he remembered that day all too well. The main event that had set everything off…that had eventually led to Tamaki…
"I'm glad," Anne said softly. "I am glad that the closest people in Tamaki's life got to see each other even if only once. Will you be going in with us Kyoya?" Anne said softly.
Kyoya dropped his head taking a deep breath, "I actually need to find my family. I kind of disappeared with out telling him where I was going."
"Yes well you shouldn't leave your father waiting," the Headmaster said with a small smile. And so Kyoya started to walk away as the music began to finish. But before he did the Headmaster put his hand on his shoulder, "If you ever need anything Kyoya please don't fail to ask. The bonds you and my son created no go much further than just the two of you. He would want me to help you if it was ever needed."
Kyoya merely nodded his head, "Thank you sir."
I want to free your heart
I want to see your heart
Please don't keep your heart hidden away
And then he continued to walk away. So much to think about. He actually never found his family just the driver who said that his father understood…and to take as much time as he needed. And he ended up wandering Ouran and staring at what had supposedly been his world for four years. He still could not remember all of it but this place had been an anchor for so many things. His memories included…
And now once again he was being thrust out on his own to figure things out. But this time it felt a little more natural…this would have happened no matter what. He would have to say good-bye to so much of this. But maybe he hadn't expected to be alone when it happened.
"You chose that you know," Tamaki said beside him.
"I know," he said softly, "things are different now though."
"Are they though?" Tamaki said softly.
Kyoya looked up at the setting sun. "Don't keep your heart hidden away," he said with a smile. "Damn you and your music Tamaki." But it was time. To say good-bye to Ouran and on to the future. Maybe he would see the Host Club again and he knew he would never forget them. But he had to start figuring out what he was going to do. And start living his life.
(Haruhi)
The party was beginning to wind down and Renae had just said her good-byes when the messenger from the Ootori family arrived at the music room and handed a letter to Haruhi.
"What is it? What is it?" the twins, Honey, and Mori said rushing over as Haruhi opened it. She couldn't but help but let a small smile slip as she read it. Enclosed with the letter was a picture of the Host Club…the picture that Tamaki had shown him in the hospital. The one that had helped him remember the Host Club again.
To the Ouran Host Club,
I wanted to let you know that your support for me the last few months has not been unnoticed. I move forward now with understanding and a new perspective to my life that maybe I didn't have before I am not sure. I know that your support while annoying at times, has been some of the biggest comfort to me even when I was lost in darkness.
I am sure many of you I will continue to see as our families continue to collude and do business together. And I am sorry that I could not see you for long in person today and that I could not do this proclamation in person but hell, I'm not the person I used to be. I have had to readily come to grips with that for most of the year. But I think even this I can still do.
Upon my graduation I can no longer fulfill my duties as your Vice President. So it is with great confidence and support that I pass the Host Club on to you. Tamaki would not have wanted it to disappear into darkness upon our graduation. Fill that music room with light again…for all of us. And for all of those still left to come…whose lives we have yet to touch.
Thank you for everything,
Take care of yourselves,
Kyoya Ootori
Haruhi looked up to see most of the Host Club with tears in their eyes. "Damn him," Hikaru muttered, "I wasn't expecting that. Not from our Shadow King."
"Funny," Haruhi muttered, "I was expecting it all along." Good luck Kyoya, Haruhi thought to herself. And may we see each other again soon.
(A few months later)
Kyoya sprinted up the steps and into the main building. He was late…damn him and his sleep habits. Still so hard to wake even after all this time. He just managed to slide into class with one minute to spare. He had hoped to get there early because he still had to go through several mental reminders to help remind him what he should do. He was still seeing a doctor to see if there was anything further they could for his memory and procedure recovery…but it was starting look like he had gone as far as he was going to go. He still got his emotional memories or feelings about things but it didn't always mean a visual memory was attached to it.
Like now he felt this feeling of longing looking at the seat next to him and feeling disappointment because…well the truth was that he didn't remember much of his time in an actual classroom before the accident he only knew he spent a lot of that time seated next to Tamaki.
He took a deep breath as the teacher began and started taking notes. He had to come up with his own form of shorthand because writing was still difficult for him. And it allowed him to actually keep up with the teacher notes. They had said they could give him advanced notes but he refused. That wouldn't help him…he didn't need to be babied. He never had.
Suddenly in the middle of the lesson he felt something bounce off the back of his head. There was a momentary flash of familiarity but nothing else. No actual memory attached to it. He looked down beside him and saw a balled up piece of paper on the floor next to him. He quickly picked it up and against his better judgment opened it right then and there. It had two words written on it. Hi there.
What the hell? He thought looking back and thinking maybe somebody had hit him by mistake. And then he realized that no this had been intended for him. Sitting a few rows up a dark haired woman he knew waved at him smiling. He couldn't believe she was sitting there…Renae. She had said that she would be going to school in Japan but still…what were the odds? But he had…she wouldn't want…maybe he could time getting away…he couldn't afford…
"You know back in the day you would have seen saw no value and walked away without a second thought," he said next to him. "But that was then," he said smiling. "So what will you do now? Go back to being successful and alone…or being successful and have friends in the world. You even told the Host Club you would still stay in touch…in your own way. Why not branch out those horizons a little? You did it once a long time ago," and Kyoya paused at that. "Maybe you could do it again?" He barely remembered that day. The day Tamaki had broke through to him…and his life had changed…forever. He sat there thinking and before he knew it class was over and there she was standing beside him.
"Hello stranger," she said a kind smile on her face.
He looked up his mind going blank as to what to do. He had known that at some point he would need to move forward. But was this really a step forward? Or was this just a repetition of the past? And then it finally occurred to him…it didn't matter. He needed to do what he wanted to do now. There was nobody to tell him otherwise…no one to influence his decision. It was now truly his life. Not even you can tell me what do anymore moron he couldn't help but think.
"I would never dream of telling you what to do Kyoya," he said softly. "I never have."
Too true Kyoya couldn't help but think. Tamaki had never forced him to do anything…he had guided him towards the right decision but never pushed him. Damn even his spirit was still the same old Tamaki. But even that had to end. Maybe it was time for somebody here and now to become his new guide. Whether it be the Host Club, the young woman in front of him, or somebody else he hadn't met yet. It was time to say good-bye to him. To constantly depending on him to guide him.
"So if that's true," Tamaki said softly, "What are you going to do?"
He paused for a moment and then slowly stood up towards Renae, "Hello Renae. It's good to see you."
Tamaki smiled once more as Kyoya and Renae walked away to their next class Tamaki stood staring out at the empty classroom. "It's time," he said softly, "I can truly be at peace now." He took one more look at his friend before saying, "Good-bye Kyoya."
Kyoya jolted around because he could have sworn he felt something behind him. "Is something wrong Kyoya?" Renae said behind him. Kyoya paused for a moment before saying. "No its nothing let's go." But in his mind he found himself thinking, "Good-bye Tamaki." And he stepped out into his new world and the campus that spread out around him. A new place…a new adventure…a new beginning. He could hardly wait.
THE END (Well…of this adventure)
Author's P.S. Note: And you know I am such an Ouran nerd that I want that Shissou ending music to start up with the guitar rift at about the time Tamaki asks "What are you going to do?" and play in the background to the very end...sigh if only we could add music somehow lol... And here it is my faithful readers. This story has been an amazing experience to write and I have enjoyed it immensely. And you fans have been so patient and incredible during the course of writing it. And I am looking forward to continuing this story soon. Keep an eye out for it! I know this is my hundredth time saying this but thank you again for reading and being the amazing readers/reviewers that you are! Thank you!