The dialogue here may be confusing so I'll try my best to explain.
"Normal convos written like this," is Bella and or normal characters speaking.
"Italicized convos like this,"are people from Bella's memory speaking, namely her human-self and Alice.
Ex:
"Hi,"Bella saw the young brunette wave at her. "I'm Bella." here, human Bella (from Bella's memory) is waving at vampire Bella (vampire Bella is the one recalling the memory)
Okay. I'm shit at explaining things. But you guys know that. You guys are smart. I'm sure you get my point.
Chapter 25
"The trick to remembering – at least for me – is to find a place where you feel safe. At peace," Eleazar began. "So we'll walk around until you find that place."
"I have a better idea," Bella grinned.
Eleazar narrowed his eyes at the young brunette questioningly. Something about that smirk that didn't quite like. He was about to ask what the princess was planning when suddenly everything went dark. He was completely blind. Silk-like things caressed his face, arms, and feet. And then he felt like he had fallen. He wanted to panic but couldn't. Nothing from the feeling was threatening. Eleazar closed his eyes for comfort, though it didn't change his predicament in the slightest. When his feet felt something solid beneath them, Eleazar was hit by the thunderous smashing of waves. His arms instinctively covered his face. When he was sure nothing was hitting him and he wasn't drowning, he slowly put his arms down and opened his eyes.
A salty breeze brushed his air. The sound of seagulls in the distance filled his ears, with the ocean waves in the background. They weren't in Denali anymore, he knew that much.
"Where are we?" he looked around finally finding Bella standing on the edge of a cliff, brown waves of hair fluttering behind her like a cape.
"I don't know," Bella answered, calmly. "More like I refuse to know."
Eleazar was confused. So he waited for an explanation.
"This was the second place I accidentally sent myself to after I was turned," Bella began. "I was training, trying to figure out how the first time happened. And in a blink – here I was. I was stranded here for four days. I couldn't go back. I didn't know how. But I eventually found out."
The raven-haired vampire just stared at the younger vampire. From what he understood form the brunette's gift was that she could manipulate the shadows. In the same way she could use the shadows as doorways – transportation. But the catch was Bella had to be there in the place prior, or she if could see where she was going. Though, the latter was only used for short distances and would not work otherwise. So that only meant Bella had been there before. She just couldn't remember the when, the where, and the how. So this place – wherever they were – could be a piece of Bella's stolen memories.
"Alright," Eleazar announced. "Come here and I'll talk you through it."
Bella hesitated leaving the spot where she stood. Eleazar patiently waited. Bella sighed and slowly walked back to where Eleazar was.
"There are a few things you need to keep in mind," Eleazar starts, there was firmness in his voice. "One; do not fight it. Else you won't remember anything. Two; do not even try to remember. It'll just come to you. Try too hard and you'll end up with your own lies. Three; don't be afraid. Fear can be a lot of things, Princess. Don't let it be the one to stop you from finding who you are and what you want to be."
Bella looked at Eleazar's deep gold eyes. She could tell he was serious. She pursed her lips and nodded. "I understand." Bella thanked Eleazar and went back to standing near the cliff.
Eleazar sighed. He made himself comfortable and perched on one of the giant boulders. He might as well work on his own memories while he was here. He also made it upon himself to be there if ever the brunette needed some help.
Bella closed her eyes. Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid. She repeated this three things again and again in her mind like a chant. Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
Bella could feel the sea breeze; her hair whipping behind her. She could hear perfectly the pounding and the crashing of the gigantic waves as they plummet on to the foot of the towering cliffs. At times a splash of seawater would spray on her face. She welcomed all of these things. Something about this place made her feel safe, peaceful – at home.
Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
Bella still had her eyes closed and she was getting restless. She could feel and heat an imaginary clock ticking in her ears.
Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
How long has it been?
Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
Why was she remembering anything?
Don't fight it. Don't try. Don't be afraid.
Concentrate, Bella, she told herself.
Don't fight it.
You can do this
Don't try.
Don't try.
Don't try
Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid…
Don't be…
Thump Thump. Bella opened her eyes. Everything was significantly dulled. The waves sounded more distant. The salt in the air didn't sting her nose. And then she felt something. Something inside her chest was making a small thump thump. And it was annoying the hell out of her – like something was stuck in her chest that wasn't supposed to be there. She wanted to rip it out – open her chest and see exactly what was it that was making that small thumping noise.
A big wave – larger than the others – crashed on the cliff where she was standing. It sounded like a hundred horses running towards her. Bella braced for impact when it hit. She curled into a ball while covering her ears. The thumping noise was getting louder. What the? Bella questioned herself. She never did such a cowardly thing!
Bella quickly stood up again. this time, the noises were muted. She saw a girl on the cliff where she was standing earlier. "Funny how one step can change everything," the girl said. Bella frowned. The girl's sounded absolutely foreign to her. Why was that girl out here?
Bella wanted to call out to the girl. The girl turned around. Bella froze. She stared at the crisp, blue eyes staring back at hers. The girl smirked at her, and without a care in the world, took one step back. Bella saw it all.
Bella screamed, hands reaching out to save the girl. But she was too slow. Bella fell to the ground a second too late. She wanted to scream, "NO!" Bella's eyes widened. That wasn't her voice. Bella took in deep breaths. The thump thump in her chest has now grown erratic. And there was a fluttering developing in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to vomit. She felt dizzy. Her head shook as she dared to look at the person beside her.
She couldn't believe her eyes.
Alice was beside her, on all fours, screaming at the cliff where the girl had fallen. "Bella! Bella! No!"
Bella was the girl on the cliff.
Bella's world shattered. She saw the scene in front of her break – like glass – to a thousand pieces. Everything went black. Bella opened her eyes – she was shaking – and the first thing she saw were her hands gripping the dirt underneath them. The thump thump and the fluttering in her stomach had gone completely, but Bella felt so cold. She was gasping for air like she needed nothing else. What just happened? Why did she jump off the cliff? Alice. She was there?
Bella took a dry swallow and closed her eyes again, trying to calm herself down, breath shaking.
When she opened her eyes again, the ground beneath her was wet. Her hands submerged in water to the wrist. She was drenched in seawater. Her hair dripping wet, forming a pool of water underneath her. Bella looked at her reflection. Her eyes locked with the eyes in her reflection. Everything went still. Bella's world spun, like a card faced down, flipped over.
Bella stared at her reflection – straight in to her own blue eyes. This time, instead of a crouched position, she was seated in front of her mirror. The same mirror she had back in her room in Volterra.
Her hand shook as she reached for the mirror. Bella saw her own hand move though it felt like it wasn't even hers. She touched the surface of the mirror, half-expecting a trail of blood. She traced the line of her jaw, eyes still amazed at how blue her eyes were. Only her warm breath stained the mirror. Her hand flinched away like it had touched a flame.
Bella felt her head turn to her left. "Alice."
Just like that, Bella was sucked out of her own body. There she stood in the background watching her human-self, frozen, staring at the beautiful pixie standing in the far away side of the room near the window.
"You're here?"Bella heard herself ask. She, too, was shocked. Alice came.
"I came to wish you a happy birthday,"Alice said smiling, a bit hurt. "And give you my gift."
"You brought me a gift?"Bella felt getting angrier at herself in every passing second. Alice was there. Why couldn't she be thankful for that?
"Is that not the tradition?"Alice inquired, head slightly tilted, clearly confused.
Bella's eyes moved back and forth from Alice to her human-self, not knowing what would happen next. And then she saw herself go frigid. She was holding something behind her back. Bella narrowed her eyes at her own hands. She saw herself shift the thing she was holding making it glint in the yellow light of the lamp . Bella hissed. What was she thinking?! Alice wouldn't hurt her! Why was she holding a knife in her hands?! A knife couldn't even kill a vampire! Unless – Bella gulped.
"You're making my head hurt, princess,"Alice jokingly warned the human in front of her. "Please decide on what is it exactly you intend to do."
"Vampires don't have headaches,"human Bella argued, taking a step closer, clenching and unclenching the venom-coated knife in her hand.
Alice smiled. "I'm the kind that does."
Human Bella took a few more careful steps forward not breaking eye contact with the vampire standing in front of her.
Alice waited patiently for the princess to make her move.
Bella watched everything with her own eyes, helpless. Was she really going to try killing Alice – her mate?
Bella watched Alice and her human-self face each other. Her fists were clenching and unclenching. Was she this unfeeling when she was human? She could her own heart beat and it did not show any remorse or nervousness whatsoever.
"Have you decided, princess?"Alice asked.
"Yes,"Bella heard herself reply.
Bella waited for the inevitable. And then she heard her heart-rate pick up. There was a sharp, clanging noise. She had dropped the knife she was holding. Bella watched herself lean in slowly and take the pixie's lips on her own. Bella closed her eyes. She could feel Alice's lips. She could feel Alice. *Her hands raked the pixie's hair. They were as soft and silky as she remembered. She felt her heart beat in her chest like it was about to burst; the knife spinning on the floor, long forgotten. More so, she felt Alice purr at her touch.
Bella opened her eyes only to be met by those beautiful golden eyes once again. She felt Alice caress her cheek. Bella's skin burned at the touch even though Alice felt cold. She saw Alice smile when she leaned in to the touch.
Alice pressed her forehead against Bella's and breathed a sigh of content. Bella could hardly stand now. She felt like melting.
"Was that my gift?" Bella laughed.
Alice shook her head softly, "Do you trust me?"Alice whispered.
"Why?" Bella asked, incredulous.
"Do you trust me?" Alice asked again, this time looking at Bella in the eyes.
Bella hesitated. She looked at Alice trying to find anything that would make her not trust the pixie. She found none. Bella nodded. "Yes."
Alice beamed at Bella's answer. She easily, but carefully, lifted the human in her arms making the little human squeak in surprise. She then positioned Bella in a piggy back.
"Are you ready?"Alice asked the beautiful brunette .
"Yes?"
Alice laughed. She jumped out of her princess's room through the large window and ran straight into the streets of Volterra.
Bella clung to her pixie as tight as she could. She was amazed. Alice managed to avoid every single walking corpse in the castle and safely walk out of the large gates and out into the streets. They blurred across busy and empty streets alike – running past red lights.
No sooner they were deep in the forest, the hustle and bustle of the city noise far behind them. Alice jumped from tree to tree with such speed, grace, and precision. Bella closed her eyes. She felt free – alive – she felt like flying. She felt safe. That had been a while.
Bella was perfectly content even though she could feel her legs get a little numb. She would rather have her whole body numb and be with Alice rather than be stuck in that castle under the watchful observation of every vampire crawling in there.
Bella could feel drowsiness creeping to her. She clutched around Alice's neck a little tighter. The ends of the pixie's hair brushed against her cheeks, tickling her nose. Before Bella knew it, she had fallen asleep.
"We're here,"Alice announced softly, rousing the sleeping princess awake. Bella loosened her arms and slid off of Alice's back. She slowly walked beside Alice, their hands intertwined, finding each other. Bella took in her surroundings. It was breathtaking. The sound of the waves was deafening but was also calming none the less. She closed her eyes and inhaled the salty tang of the sea breeze. But what caught Bella's attention the most was the star-filled sky and the milky crescent-shaped moon that hung above them.
Bella ran forward, trying to be as close to the view as much as possible. The ground beneath her shook and a good piece of earth turned in to rubble. Bella caught herself and stopped from taking a step further. This was as close the ground could get her to the moon and stars. She looked down at the cliff, and watched the waves churn around the jagged rocks under her, unfazed. "Funny, how one step can change everything." Bella said. She turned around looking at Alice. She smirked at her and took a step back.
Bella closed her eyes and smiled. She felt weightless. She heard Alice scream her name. Bella opened her eyes. She twisted her body like a cat and assumed a diving position. She barely escaped the deathly sharp rocks.
Bella swam to the shore occasionally getting eaten by waves – small waves – but she made it out alive. She reached shore. Her night gown was completely drenched. She lay down on her back, laughing, chest heaving. This was the most fun she had in years. And then she felt something on top of her. "Alice,"Bella breathed through a smile. Did you see what I just did? It felt amazing! I want to do it again!Bella wanted to say them all, but she simply did have enough air in her lungs. Bella took the time to dissect this new sensation swirling inside her. It was not that she had not felt it – it just felt so tiny – unrecognizable even. Yet it still filled her in such a way that she couldn't stop a smile forming in her lips.
"Don't you give me a goofy smile, Bella!"Alice growled. "Not after that! God I thought you had died! What were you even thinking?"
"I wasn't,"Bella laughed. "I thought you could see the future?"Bella said in between gasps.
"I can. But you made about a dozen split-decisions!"Alice huffed.
Bella tried to sit up but Alice wouldn't allow her to. "Don't ever. Do. That. Again."
Bella smiled. "I won't. I promise." Bella said and pulled Alice in a kiss. Alice kissed back a little more heated than intended, expressing her worry through the kiss. Bella smiled in the kiss. She took her chance and pushed Alice back a little and straddled the pixie. Bella lazily placed her arms around Alice's neck. Bella looked into the petite vampire's golden eyes. And the swirling feeling inside felt more evident – tangible. Happiness. That was the name to what she was feeling – what she was seeing. The being in front of her was the cause of the whirlpool of emotions resonating in every part of her. Alice.Alice was the name of Bella's happiness.
"I'm getting you wet, aren't I?" Bella laughed when she saw Alice's eyes almost immediately turn black. "Are you still mad?" she asked nipping at Alice's jaw.
"How can I be? With that British accent of yours,"Alice giggled. "We have to get you home, though. Someone will be checking up on you soon."
Bella frowned at Alice for ruining the moment.
"What's that frown for? I haven't even given you my gift yet."
"You haven't?" Bella asked incredulous.
"Of course. The trip and the kisses were just a bonus,"Alice winked. "Close your eyes."
Bella closed her eyes. She felt Alice carefully move her wet hair away. "Happy birthday, my princess,"Alice whispered.
Bella opened her eyes and looked down on her chest. A beautiful silver necklace with a diamond pendant was hanging on her neck. Her fingers played with it for a moment before she looked at Alice and kissed her. "Thank you."
Alice happily kissed back. "We have to get you home, though."
Bella sighed. She wanted to stay longer but she knew she had to go back or else hell will break lose and she'd drag Alice along with her if they were caught. "Alright. But promise you'll be there when I wake up."
"I promise,"Alice said kissing her princess again.
Bella could hear the waves again. She opened her eyes and she was at the cliff again. This time though, she was staring up the clouds, the sun's rays dancing on her skin making it glitter. She felt exhausted. She was suddenly happy she finished the blood-filled goblet Eleazar gave her.
She heard the scratching of dirt behind her but she didn't bother to move. She didn't want to move.
"The first ones are always draining," Bella heard Eleazar say.
"Get up and hunt. You want to remember the rest don't you?" Eleazar towered over Bella, offering her a hand. Bella stared at his hand and eventually took in her own.
Alice was there.
She came.
And they kissed.
"What the?"
"What's going on?"
"Is Bella in her body? or watching her human self?"
*If you guys are confused as to what is happening, it okay. I wrote it that way. You know how you dream and you kind of know and don't know what's going to happen at the same time but you just go with it? Bella's memories are like that – confusing. So yeah. You should be confused I guess.