Something

Chapter 25: Misery

Sasha's POV

January 8, 1961

John's yelling voice that was coming from the other side of door made so many memories flash in my mind. I was in a trance of reminiscing when the doorknob jiggled and his pounding sounded at the door.

"Come on Stu! Open up!"

I sat up, holding the sheets over my bare, heaving chest. I looked at Stuart sleeping soundly next to me and began to shake him until he woke up.

"Hmmm," his sleep-ridden voice sounded with his eyes still closed.

"Stu," I frantically whispered to him, "John's at the door."

His eyes shot open, and he jumped from the bed, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it. He'll never know that you're here."

I watched as Stu quickly pulled on his underwear and some black jeans. He fixed his hair and grabbed his glasses from the bedside table, "Coming John."

Stu opened the door slightly so John couldn't see in and slipped into the hallway.

"What the bloody hell? Stu, we've got a gig at the Cavern in an hour and a half, and you're bloody sleeping," I heard John's voice scold him as I rose from Stu's bed to find my clothes from last night.

"Sorry, John. I just didn't feel well last night, and I just needed a good sleep," Stu spoke calmly to John.

I grabbed my clothes, which were thrown about on the floor by the bed and dressed. As I dressed, I continued to eavesdrop on John and Stu's conversation happening right outside the door.

"Well, I hope you had a good sleep," John said bitterly, "I told you to meet us at the Cavern at ten. It's almost eleven, sleeping beauty."

Stu sighed, "John, you're such a dick."

"Excuse Me?"

I cringed at the sound of John's angry voice. It was the voice he got before he became extremely livid with someone. I had heard it a thousand times. Mostly to other people, until he turned on me.

"You heard what I said. You may be blind, but you're not deaf," Stu fought back, "Ever since Hamburg, you've been a thousand times worse than before."

John didn't say anything.

"John, I knew you were violent before, but now it's to the point where I actually think you need some help. You can't solve all of your problem by just beating the crap out of someone. You just create new problems by doing that," Stu argued, "Maybe Sasha would still be here if you weren't such a psychopath."

I couldn't believe that Stu had mentioned me to John.

"Shut up!" John screamed.

Something hard hit the door. I hoped it was John's fist. I knew that he was angry beyond belief now.

"Shut up, Stu!" He screamed again, "You think I wanted you to take her away from me?"

"I didn't take her away, John," Stu yelled back, "I saved her. God knows you would've ended up killing her in your war path."

I gasped as something heavier hit the door. It was silent for a few moments before I heard sobbing. John's sobbing. I was praying that Stu wouldn't tell him I was here.

"John," Stu's voice was concerned now, "Get off of the floor."

I guessed that John was sitting against the door. Listening to his sobs brought tears to my own eyes. I stood from the bed and sat down on the floor with my back against the door. Our backs were practically against each other. I could feel his presence so strong on me, in me. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I kept my sobs silent.

"I didn't want to hurt her," John said through his cries, "I'll never forgive myself, and she hates me. I know she does. I hate me."

"John," Stu said again, "If you don't like the situation, do something about it."

There was silence for a long time, until John's voice said, "Our gig's at 12:30. Please try and be there."

The door to the apartment slammed, and I gasped a let my sobs become louder. Stu opened the door and grabbed my hand. He led me to the couch and sat down with me in his arms.

"I'm sorry," Stu rubbed my back softly.

I looked at him, "What was that?"

Stu sighed, "I don't know. You were on my mind, and he hasn't mentioned you since you left, so I thought that I would bring it up. I didn't know he would react like that."

I couldn't answer Stu. There was a war in my mind. I couldn't believe that I had slept with him last night.

He grasped my arm, "About last night, I just care about you, and if you're angry at me, I understand. You just seem so lonely, and I wanted to help you. I care about you a lot."

"I understand. Don't worry," I looked into his eyes, "It was nice. I felt loved. It wasn't romantic because I don't feel that way about you, but I felt like someone actually cared about my feelings. Besides, I don't need another relationship right now, and you've got Astrid."

"I do have Astrid," he said, "but I also know that you are the first amazing woman that I ever met, and I know that you don't feel quite the same way that I feel about you, but it's okay."

I thought for a few moments until a crazy idea hit me, "Stu, I'm going to sound insane, but we could make this work."

He was confused, "What do you mean?"

"Well, last night I just felt so loved and cared about, and I need that feeling. I need it, especially since John isn't going to come around on his white horse any time soon. I know you're lonely when you're here in Liverpool without Astrid, and I'm lonely too. We could be lonely together."

Stu smirked at me, "The sex was that good, huh?"

I playfully smacked his arm, "Seriously. I needed it. I need you. You're the only person who cared enough about me to keep in touch and make sure I was okay. We could just sneak around, no strings attached."

Stu smiled at me, "I'm in. Are you busy tonight?"

"My dad's going out of town for a week. You could camp out at my place," I laughed.

Stu stood from the couch, "Well, this should be interesting. I need to get to the Cavern before John has me head."

I stood up beside him, "Be at my house tonight at eight. I'll cook dinner for you. Pack a small bag to stay over."

"I'll be there," Stu winked at me and turned to walk to the bathroom.

"Stu," he turned to look at me, "Thank you."

Stu smiled, "It's my pleasure. I'll see you tonight."

He closed the bathroom door, and I scurried out of his apartment and headed for the market to get a few things for dinner. I had to be insane to suggest this kind of relationship with my best friend, but he was all I had.

March 14, 1961

"Ah, Stuart," I breathed as I bounced on top of him.

His hands roamed all over my upper body and thighs as I rode him, making his old bed creak. I was sure his neighbors could hear us. I was glad that John was spending less and less time at Stu's flat, so I could come over here more. I thought of this situation. We were crazy for starting this kind of relationship with each other, but no one had found out, and to be honest, it was fun and exciting.

Stu started moving his hips to meet mine, "Sasha," he moaned, wrapping his arms around my back to pull me down to kiss him.

He grunted as he finished, and I started panting loudly to ride my high.

I collapsed beside him, "Don't go back to Hamburg."

He brought me into his arms, "I need to. I have to see my fiancé," he laughed.

"But when will I see you again?"

He kissed the tip of my nose, "Soon. I promise. You know I can't stay away too long, especially now," I felt his hand squeeze my butt.

"So, you're not doing shows with the boys anymore?" I asked, rubbing his chest with my fingers as I lied in his arms.

"Paul hasn't told you?" He asked.

I shook my head. Paul and I were somewhat close again, but his loyalty to John made him distant. John still hasn't spoken to me, and I was starting to believe that I would never cross paths with him.

Stu smiled at me, "The Beatles are going back to Hamburg to play the Top Ten."

"When?!" I was shocked they were going back to the Reeperbahn.

"The 27th. Astrid's helping me fill out some paperwork to get the work permits. It gives me and excuse to get there earlier, I suppose."

I thought about what I would do if I had to go back to Hamburg. I probably would've have turned down the offer if anyone had asked me.

I sighed, "Your flight leaves tomorrow morning?"

"Yes," he said kissing me softly, "I know you'll be lonely, but I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?" I smiled at him.

"Get a job to keep yourself busy," he suggested, "NEMS record store is hiring."

April 2, 1961

I strolled down Lime Street to meet my new manager and get started on my new job. I took Stu's suggestion and applied to work at NEMS record store. Stu and the rest of the Beatles were long gone, and probably killing themselves playing long hours in that dirty town that haunted my memories. I suppose Stu was right about starting a job. It would hopefully keep me busy and get my mind off of things. This was part of moving on.

I walked into the record store that I had visited countless times before wishing that my records would be sold in here one day. That dream seemed like a lifetime ago. I hadn't picked up my guitar since last October.

"Good Morning," A well-groomed man caught my attention.

I took his outstretched hand to shake it, "Morning."

"You must be Sasha," his accent was different from anyone I had heard in Liverpool. It was almost as if he was trying to sound like a Londoner.

I smiled, "Yes, and you are?"

"I'm the manager here at NEMS. My family owns these record stores," he had laughing tone in his posh voice, "I'm Brian Epstein."

Author's Note: Sasha met Brian! Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.