With Yuigahama to my right and Yukinoshita to my left, most people would consider themselves lucky. They would think that they were slain heroically and ended up in a perfect Heaven, rewarded for their good deeds. I, however, feel quite the opposite. I can feel piercing glares from both sides of my body as I try to lay completely still, even stifling the rate of my breathing. Yuigahama's hand clenches mine, squeezing it tightly, to the point where her nails are starting to dig into my wrist. Yukinoshita, however, seems content with just locking her fingers with mine. I think I can register purring.

"You know, Hikigaya, you don't need to pretend to be asleep."

"Yeah Hikki, we know you're awake."

I shudder in response, but begin to snore. Sweat rolls down my temples as I shake under the covers, the two women at my side growing increasingly more discontent. Leave me alone! I'm sleeping! Can't you see that?!

"Ahh, Yukinon, I think he really IS asleep...what should we do?"

"I'm sure that Hikigaya must have a photo album of his Middle School years around here somewhere. Perhaps we should locate that and educate ourselves?"

"Ohh, that could be fun!"

"NO!"

Bolting upright, I frantically shift my eyes between the two. Yuigahama is stifling gut-wrenching laughter while Yukinoshita merely smiles.

"Ahh, rest well?"

"Snrk...I-I think he had a nightmare…"

"...I'm going to the couch."

"Oh no you're not!"

Pomf. Yuigahama presses herself against me, pushing me back down onto the mattress. Yukinoshita joins her, pinning down my free arm with her weight.

"Come on, Hikki! Let's start a family!"

"H-What?!"
"Yes, Hikigaya. I'm sure that my genes should be able to purify any of yours that I find...distasteful."

"Yeah! Come on, it'll be fun!"
"G-Get off of me!"

"Don't struggle. This is supposed to be romantic for us all, you know."

"Yukinon, get his pajamas!"

"Right."

"S-Stop! Don't! Get off! GET OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I bolt upright in the shadows of the room, sweat rolling down my brow. Across from me, on the two futons I had set up, lie Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, both sound asleep. Still shaking slightly, I sit there, staring at the two as I pant. My heartrate is going crazy. With a particularly loud sigh, I lean back, attempting to get comfortable again. Slowly, I blink.

When my eyes open again, Isshiki's face is dangerously close to mine.

"Hi, senpai!"

I let out a scream.

This is a fairly short mini/joke chapter to let you know where I've been. I'm not dead - but I feel like that, for the most part. A lot of real life stuff has come up that has drastically cut down my time/motivation to continue working on the story. I haven't abandoned it, not at all - but I find myself extremely tired and time-crippled 80% of the time. I still come by daily to read when I can on my breaks, but for actual writing there's next to no time to actually sit down and do it. Hell, I only get six hours on my off days anymore. I wrote this up as an apology and update, so please forgive me.

To everyone else who writes and reads this, keep up the good work. I'm counting on you!