Xena made final plans with the upper epsilon warriors in the Amazon and Centaur armies. They were not leaving either village completely unprotected, but surmised that the Cortese army is still sitting unawares that the hooves and harlots, as they so charmingly dubbed each group, are in fact teaming up against them. So they were taking the bulk of their skilled, trained warriors for the assault.
Gabrielle and Ephiny were leading the women, Xena and Phantes, son of the Centaur leader Tildus, would lead the Centaur attack from the northwest. The warrior princess went over the final details with the first band of scouts which will be used as bait against Cortese's own scouts to lure them into thinking the Amazons are attacking the Centaurs while the remainder of the Amazon army circled around to approach from the southwestern side of Cortese's camp. The plan they had was foolproof, Xena knew, but she double and triple checked the details just to be certain.
Once she was satisfied with everything, she joined Gabrielle in one of the larger war strategy tents. The Queen was going over possible scenarios, routes they were unable to cover and any ambushes they may encounter. Blue eyes watched the blonde as the young woman studied the map laid out on the large table in the center of the room. Green eyes were scanning, searching, mapping, planning.
That's my girl. Xena thought to herself.
The little Queen was adamant about starting a new life in another realm. The warrior wanted that. She wanted everything her bard wanted, and she knew the blonde was right in her thinking. A new world away from Xena's past would be a fresh start. She has undoubtedly paid what was owed karmically. In Emma's realm, she would continue to give back, to fight for good, the only difference would be the warrior's bloody past wouldn't kill or maim more innocents while she atoned for her sins. Yes, a new life is exactly what she and her bard needed.
She would miss this. Planning for war. The symmetry of it. You can only plan so much, and then you just have to let go and trust in the decisions you've made, the plans you've enacted to play out the way you intended them to. Guessing what the other side will do is a huge part of that. The fact that Xena had intimate knowledge of one of the three warlords they were going up against played into their favor, but there were two relatively unknown factors yet, and she really didn't like leaving things to chance.
As the warrior was deep in worried thought, she felt an all too familiar chill and jerked her attention to where the feeling was coming from. In a low growl, she sneered, "Ares…"
"How exactly do you do that Xena?" the muscle-clad god shimmered his appearance before her. "No other human can sense me the way you do." He dragged his finger down the side of her stoic face.
She shook him off and sneered, "What do you want?"
He said seductively with a dimpled smile, "Oh me? Nothing! I could feel your juices starting to flow as you prepared for battle and it got me all… tingly!" Xena rolled her eyes.
"Don't you miss this Xena? The excitement of the night before war!" He sucked his teeth and shook his head lightly at the warrior, "Nothing quite like it is there princess?"
"I'm not coming back to you, we've gone over this," she stated almost bored with his theatrics.
"Oh, I haven't quite given up on you yet my princess." He walked behind her and settled his hands on her hips, pulling her against him; he whispered into her ear, "Nor has your little brat's skills escaped my notice. She is getting rather good at war prep isn't she?" Xena whipped around and held out her chakram against his throat in one smooth solid move. "You leave her out of this Ares," she hissed through a clenched jaw. He chuckled and stepped closer to her allowing the blade to dig into the pristine flesh of his neck. "Come now Xena," he pouted. "I can't let you have all the fun hmmm?"
"I mean it, Ares. You stay away from her!" The warrior princess warned, her crystal blue eyes chilled and full. The god of war chuckled and disappeared before her in shimmering light. She looked around, and no one else in the tent seemed to notice the god of war's intrusion, nor their conversation, so Xena walked over to her bard and leaned in and kissed her on the neck.
"Hey, brat."
"My Queen," Xena wrapped her hands firmly around Gabrielle's waist and pulled her against herself with force.
"What's wrong?" Gabrielle struggled to keep her footing with the force Xena used to claim her.
"Nothing."
"Xena…" the bard warned in a low tone.
"Really, it isn't anything I can't handle."
Gabrielle's green eyes met the icy chips of her lover and knew her well enough to drop it. "Alright well, I'll make up another few batches of Regina's antidote tonight before we go to bed, will you go deal with giving her the next dose?"
Xena latched onto Gabrielle's pulse point and sucked the delicate skin into her mouth. The bard moaned and pushed back into the taller warrior who wrapped her arms around her bard, searching out the soft skin of her lover. "Do hurry back brat, I've missed you terribly," she said as she tilted her head giving Xena more access to her neck. The quick make-out session was cut short when Eponin entered with a salute. "That'll be my queue," Xena said with a chuckle and kissed her bard once more on the cheek and headed out of the hut.
Emma pulled out her sword and began sharpening it, even though she hadn't used it, she needed something to do while Regina wrote vigorously in her diary. The long smooth strokes of stone against blade soothed the Savior, and she understood exactly why Xena performed this ritual every night, need it or not. Even though let's face it, the warrior needed to keep her blade sharp and used it daily, unlike the Sheriff who barely had a ding out of the edge, and what damage was present she was certain had gotten there by way of its previous owner. The habit was melodic and soothing, and after her Queen's admissions that evening, Emma needed something to hold her together as she drowned out the images newly discovered information brought up.
She looked over at her friend, her dark hair curled back around her ears, her brow knit in a focused pinch as she laid out her elegant script on the parchment of her diary. Emma didn't wonder what the Queen was writing about. She knew it probably had everything to do with their previous heated discussion. Completely convincing the Queen to submit to more of the antidote had not been the result.
"You won't let anyone harm me? You intend on harming me, Emma!" Regina pulled back from their embrace.
"I know you don't like needles, but this needs to happen, Gina," Emma tried to sooth the woman with her words and attempted to reclaim their previous stance within one another's arms.
"No!" Regina pushed her away angrily. "Emma I did what you asked of me! I do not feel ill! I will not allow you to subject me to this!"
"You'll barely feel it I promise you! I really don't want to sedate you, not with you being sick just a few days ago. The antidote takes so much out of you! Please Your Majesty?"
The visibly shaken Queen before her asked, "Do you know why I dislike… needles?"
Emma shook her head and answered, "I probably don't want to know either."
Regina sneered at the blonde curling her lip up in disgust as she stalked toward the blonde as if she were prey and hissed, "It was a favorite torture of my mother's to correct certain undesirable behaviors. She would immobilize me with her magic." She swallowed thickly against the feeling of helplessness and continued, "A particular favorite was tree branches. From those branches she would repeatedly pierce my flesh for hours, sometimes days, depending on the offense she was trying to correct. Tiny pinpricks all over me, all at once or sometimes intervals whichever the mood struck her. I was completely helpless to stop her!"
Memories of the pricks digging into her caused her to shudder, and she shouted, "I will NOT allow this to happen!"
"Okay. I get it," Emma said quietly, her green eyes bright with fresh tears.
"You get nothing!" the Queen bellowed, "No one could ever understand what she did to me!" A lifetime of agony at the hands of people who loved her overwhelmed her, and she folded her arms over herself and turned from the blonde.
Emma shuddered at the implications of Regina's childhood and agreed, "You're right. Whenever my caregivers hurt me, I was removed from the home fairly quickly. I can't imagine how helpless you felt. How hopeless. The woman who was supposed to be the epitome of unconditional love doing that to you. How trapped you felt Regina, knowing no one was coming to help you. No one was going to make the pain stop."
The Queen turned and met the gaze of the Savior and Emma partially truthed, "The worst thing my birth mother did was leave me in the woods to freeze to death like a piece of garbage on the side of the road." That was what she believed growing up, and it wasn't the entire truth, but it was close. "But when the adults charged with my care did harm me, someone was watching out for me. I never felt trapped," Emma lowered her eyes unable to hold the queen's gaze. "Or alone," she added quietly.
The Queen lifted her chin smugly and asked, "You were harmed as a child?"
This was something Regina, her Regina, didn't know about the Savior's past; Emma swallowed thickly and admitted, "I was."
After a beat, Emma unlaced and removed the leather bodice she was wearing and lifted the back of the bright yellow halter top to reveal a large white V-shaped scar. "This was the worst of it and left a pretty big scar."
"That looks like a burn," The Queen commented, captivated as she allowed her fingers to trace over the warped flesh.
"It was," Emma said simply not giving away much in the way of explanation. "I knew the woman who did this didn't care for me, and I hadn't expected her to. Not the way I'm sure you thought Cora should have with you." The Savior pulled her shirt back down and turned to look at her friend. "She should have protected you."
"You understand why I can not allow you to subject me to this torture."
"I understand why you don't wish to go through this again."
"Again?"
"Yes, you've taken three doses already."
"Willingly?" The Queen looked shocked by this news.
"More or less," Emma said with a slight eye roll.
The Queen accused, "I sincerely doubt that!"
"Well, the first dose you were asleep and so that one shouldn't really count. The other two times you trusted me enough to be brave and go through with it." Emma stepped closer to her friend and put a hand gently on the brunette's bicep. "I was there with you every step of the way." She felt the Queen tremble under her touch and against her better judgment she stepped into the woman's personal space and wrapped her arms around her. Her green eyes closed and fresh tears poured down over her cheeks. "I won't force you, my Queen."
"I don't remember the time before the other doses," Regina mumbled into Emma's chest.
"No, the antidote sort of resets you I guess."
"I don't want to be reset, Emma," the Savior felt arms unwrap and circle her waist when the Queen admitted, "I feel a connection with you, and from what you've told me, we don't have this."
Emma kissed the Queen's temple, "We don't."
Regina pulled back from the blonde and looked her in the eyes. Her gaze was intense, and Emma could feel the woman's emotions radiating off of her.
"You do feel it right?"
Emma nodded silently.
"Do you not desire it to continue?"
"I do," Emma said then looked down breaking the intense gaze..
"But?"
"But, to get you back, all of you back, I'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness."
"You think you are happy… with me?" Regina asked incredulously and scrutinized the blonde for deception.
Emma cupped Regina's cheek and gently ran her thumb over a defined cheekbone. "You, Your Grace, look at me the way I've only ever dreamed you would. Even if you are plotting your escape or a way to get the upper hand." Regina feigned shock and mock offense and the Savior smirked, "I always know when you are lying to me, Regina."
She cupped the Queen's cheek and looked her in the eyes and said, "You have years of memories of our son growing up, memories I know you don't want to lose. I don't think I can force you, but…"
The Queen sank back into the embrace of the Savior and rested her head on the blonde's muscular shoulder. "May I take some time and consider it?"
"You may," Emma ran her fingers through soft dark hair soaking in the feeling of closeness they shared at that moment.
If she was being honest with herself, she was going to miss this side of Regina. It wasn't just that she was pure sex in hell heels, or that that sexiness was often pointed in Emma's direction, no, definitely not that. It was, however, her unbridled passion that she would miss, it was something the Mayor just did not possess. She dragged the stone over steel and watched as Regina filled page after page of her book. A sound knock at the door startled the Savior from her musings, and she sheathed her sword and stood to go answer the door.
Xena stood with a sheepish grin and an arm full of supplies. "So? Are we going to have a problem?"
Emma hung her shoulders down and swept the warrior princess into the main living area. "I told her I wouldn't force her."
"Perhaps convince her means something else in your land?" Xena asked with a raised eyebrow.
"She has good reason to be afraid. I can't make her. I just can't Xena," Emma shook her blonde head and tried not to look into those blue steel eyes.
"You mean you won't," Xena corrected with a smirk.
"Maybe," the blonde considered for a moment and added, "I love her."
"Too much perhaps?"
"Maybe."
"Emma?" the musical voice of her Queen beckoned her from the other room and Emma held up a finger to Xena with pleading eyes silently asking her to wait.
"Yes, my Queen?" Emma quickly walked over to where Regina was sitting at the desk. Her diary was closed, and she looked visibly shaken. "Are you alright?"
"That warrior, she is here for…." Regina's face held a mere fraction of the fear she felt.
"Yes, my Queen. Have you made a decision?"
"Are you really allowing me to choose?"
"I know you have little to no control over your life, even as you are now you are tied to the throne and are a slave to the magic. I don't know what will happen if you stop taking the antidote before gaining all of your memories back, but I told you I wouldn't force you. I intend on keeping my word." Emma knelt in front of the Evil Queen, a mere shadow of the beast she was made out to be. "I can't lose you, Regina. I think it will kill me." Regina lifted Emma's chin to meet her gaze and caressed the Sheriff's cheek with the soft pad of her thumb.
"Tell me you love me and I will do this for you."
Emma's eyes looked up in surprise, and she immediately replied, "I love you, Regina."
"Not now you imbecile!" Regina rolled her eyes and took in a patience gathering breath. "When my memories return!"
"Oh…" Emma broke her gaze and bit the inside of her lip and truly considered for a moment just agreeing with whatever the Queen desired as long as she complied with taking the antidote.
"And don't you even think about lying to Your Queen! Promise me you will tell me how you feel about me when I am rid of this ailment, and I will submit to your torture."
"I… I don't know if I can do that Regina."
"You can and you will girl!" The brunette leaned in close and whispered into Emma's ear, "No matter who I turn out to be, be certain I am in desperate need of your love." She placed the sweetest of kisses upon Emma's cheek as she drew back in her seat and waited for the Sheriff's response.
Emma nodded her head in agreement because she was unable to voice her acceptance. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and the lump in her throat was preventing her from voicing her response. She clamped her trembling jaw tight and pulled her lips together in what should have been a smile had the edges of her mouth not been drawn down.
"Good girl," the Queen praised.
Emma helped the Evil Queen change and put her to bed as she's done before, she sat behind the woman and held her while Xena administered the antidote. Emma stroked Regina's dark locks and cradled her head to her chest. After the initial poke, Regina relaxed, be it the release of her anxiety or the drug-like effect of the medicine itself. She leaned into the embrace of the Savior who held her.
Xena circled the bed and gave the women some privacy as she packed up her medical kit on the other side of the room.
"Emma?" the Queen's voice was soft and Emma could tell she was already feeling the effects of the antidote entering her bloodstream.
"Shh, I got you, Regina, I won't let you go." Emma held her until she succumbed to the medicine.
"Xena?" Emma called after the warrior who was making her way out of the room.
"Yeah?" Xena replied turning around to face the blonde.
"Do you have anyone to spare for an hour or so to sit with Regina? I feel the need to do some drills."
"Bad day?"
"Just really overwhelming." Lost green eyes told the warrior just how much Emma needed something, anything, to hold her together.
"Yeah I'll see what Gabby is doing, you and I can spar if you want."
Emma tried to smile her appreciation, "Thank you."
The warrior smiled warmly back at the haunted look of the blonde on the bed. "Anytime. I'll be back."