Chapter 18
Exactly One Week Later.
"Okay, just sit still and relax..." Lissa said, holding her Mend staff above Robin. He had suffered some few cuts and slashes from the previous battle that had just been waged not one hour ago. The scent of oil and smoke weighed heavily on his Grandmaster coat after his latest tactical maneuver. Some would have called it brilliant, while others would have said it was needlessly foolish. Whatever the opinion was, it guaranteed the safety of the Shepherds and a sizable blow to the fleet of Valmese ships that ambushed them as they passed the halfway point to Valm. After a quick stitch job, courtesy of Lissa, Robin stood up from the wooded bed that he sat on and let the next Shepherd be tended to, with a quick word of gratitude.
Stepping out onto the deck of the ship that was currently leading the now smaller Ylissean fleet, Robin leaned onto the port side of the ship and looked back at where the massive blaze took place. Even though it was just under an hour of sailing, and the wind was blowing favorably, the tactician could still see the large plume of smoke that rose from the battalion of sinking ships in the distance. He shuddered to think about the safety of his companions had they been caught in the fire. Were it not for the help of Nowi, Nah and Morgan, carrying a bulk of the army on their backs, they would have suffered some casualties. He made sure to give Naga a silent prayer for the such a fortunate turn of events. In truth, he had wanted his daughters, along with the other children to stay back in Ylisse, rebuild their lives while their parents went on to take care of the war. At first, he thought they had obeyed his concerns, but with the surprising brilliance of Morgan's tactical mind, the entirety of the New Shepherds had stowed away in the hull of the leading ship, where they hid until they would arrive at Valm, but were driven out early to help with the recent battle.
The Grandmaster was, as Chrom once put it, battling with unpleasant thoughts, his daughters having taken on such a dangerous mission, and disrespecting their father. Truthfully, he was more proud than anything else: Morgan demonstrated her budding tactical mind, while Nah and the others showed their expertise in combat. And, most importantly, if it weren't for his daughters Dragon-forms, there would be blood on his hands that he surely would not want to bare. Still, he was less than happy at the injuries they sustained in battle, however minor they may be. He smacked his head on the wooden railing of the ship, conflicted by all the emotions he had to bare on his shoulders as a parent. Happy, angry, proud, somewhat disappointed, and nervous, all at the same time.
The sound of footsteps tapping on the wooded floor of the ship echoed behind him. Turning slightly to see the two Khans and Chrom accompanied by Lucina, he gave a halfhearted wave as he turned his head back and continued looking out to sea. Chrom couldn't help but frown at the greeting. Sure, they just came from battle but he hoped his tactician would be in higher spirits. Especially after having survived such a dangerous move he pulled off.
"What's with that sullen look on your face, boy? You should be proud that you pulled off such a foolhardy move like that and lived to tell the tale!" Basilio boomed, with his mighty voice. Flavia had half a mind to smack the large man. Be she a warrior or not, Flavia still knew the meaning of the word 'sensitivity'. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts about getting back into the battlefield. You should know better than anyone else that there is no time for hesitation during war."
Basilio's words fell on deaf ears. Robin had barely paid attention to what he was saying, continuing to think about the safety of Nah and Morgan. The former reigning Khan simple crossed his arms and stared at the tactician. No clever comeback this time. Whatever was on his mind must have been quite heavy to bare. His gaze soon turned to Chrom, and in response, the prince nodded and walked up to his friend, his newly acquired armor shining in the mid-afternoon sun. The Khans decided to leave everything to Chrom and walked away, leaving the three alone. Mimicking his friend's position, Chrom leaned against the wooded railing of the ship and stared out to sea, not particularly in any direction. A smile slowly curled at his lips as he thought of a way to reach out to his friend.
"Well... Are we just going to stand here all day and pretend like nothing is wrong with you? I hope you're not going to devolve back into that sheltered person I knew back when I first found you two years ago." he mocked. Robin couldn't help but crack a smile at Chrom's less-than-stellar attempt at cheering him up. Raising his head from the railing and resting it on his folded arms, Robin finally responded, "Nothing is wrong Chrom. I'm just wrestling with so many feelings right now."
"I see." Chrom said, nodding. "And would you care to enlighten me on what they may be?"
"That would take all day to explain. I can only do it justice with one word: Parenthood." Robin chuckled.
"Say no more. I can understand the emotional turmoil when it comes to parenthood."
Lucina couldn't help but clear her throat audilby when Chrom spoke. Looking back at his daughter so suddenly, he raised an open palm defensively, "Err... What I mean was all the joy a father can feel when dealing with his children!" he responded. Thankfully, it earned a pleased smile from the lordling. She was not one for too many words, but sometimes her stoic attitude scared even Chrom.
Slowly and cautiously turning back to Robin, Chrom playfully nudged his shoulder. "Listen, being a father already, I can say that it's not easy, physically or emotionally. So, if you ever want to talk about it, you know I'll always be here to lend an ear and provide some friendly advice whenever you need it."
"I know. And that's great to hear, because I need your advice now." Robin chuckled. Having gotten Robin to laugh, if a bit hollow, Chrom felt relieved. He hadn't really prepared to break him out of his doldrums this quickly, but the less time he spent worrying, the more he could focus on helping to win this war. It sounded heartless when Chrom thought about it, but Robin wanted this war to end as much as he did anyway. Regardless of whatever impact the war had right now, Chrom's attention was on his friend and nothing else. "Alright then. Tell me what's been plaguing your mind recently."
"Well... I was thinking to myself on what I should do about Nah and Morgan... You see, I told them I didn't want them involved with this war, that they have seen enough bloodshed for one lifetime and that they should leave the rest to us. However, it seems that Morgan of all people orchestrated a way for her and the others to sneak onboard this vessel and come with us to Valm. Honestly, Chrom, I don't know what to feel right now." Robin held out his hand, counting off his fingers, "On the one hand, I'm very upset that they're coming with us on this journey. It is not as if we can just turn sail and ferry them back to Ylisse. But, on the other hand, were it not for them, we would probably be in more trouble than we've gotten into already today. You see my point?"
"Indeed I do. And no one would blame you for feeling such conflicted emotions. Lest we forget, I was the same just before Lucina was born." Chrom said. Thinking back on those days put an embarrassed blush on the prince's face while Robin smirked. Just days before Lucina was born, Chrom was a complete wreck. He would endlessly pace back and forth through the palace halls and wondered if he would ever be an adequate father. Other days he would wonder if Lucina would even take to him at all, or if she would stay attached to her mother. It drove everyone in the palace mad with having to deal with the rare worrywart Chrom. Even Frederick requested a vacation, having been on wit's end for weeks. "It's funny, isn't it?" Chrom said. "You and I can topple armies by ourselves and live to tell the tale, yet we are easily confounded by our own children."
"As I said before; Parenthood."
That evening was mostly quiet around the fleet of ships that were en route to the Valmese shores. Except for the sound of waves splashing against the hull of the ship and the creaking of the wood, it was a perfectly quiet night, filled with stars and punctuated by a crescent moon. Out on the deck of the ship was Robin, completely alone, continuing to think about the future. He awoke in the middle of the night because he couldn't help but continue to think about Nah and Morgan. He trusted them and their ability in combat that they more than proved, but the father in him still couldn't help but worry the worst for his kids. It felt odd to him that he would even feel so close to them as he was. He had barely known them for too long, yet he cared so much for them, even if their existence had not been established yet.
The early autumn weather was becoming more apparent with every passing day. The constant gentle wind that blew behind the ship as it sailed forth brought a small chill to Robin. He took a deep breath of the sea air and looked up to the star-dotted sky. Morgan often said if one looked close enough, shapes could be seen. It sounded pretty farfetched but occasionally, Robin would look up to try and see if any shapes truely did form on an unlit night sky. As he focused on the stars, Nowi stepped out onto the deck from the lower quarters of the ship, with a blanket from the bed she and Robin shared draped around her shoulders. She walked over to Robin, the blanket dragging across the smooth wooded floor due to her small height.
"Is something wrong, Robin?" she asked. Robin turned after hearing the familiar voice, and couldn't help but chuckle a bit at seeing Nowi out in the open with the blanket around her the way it was. "No, nothing's wrong. I was just having some time to think." He sat down on the floor against the railing and patted the spot next to him for his wife to join him. The Manakete walked over to him and sat down, draping the blanket over them both.
The two sat together, staring up at the stars in the sky. Robin didn't initiate any conversation, and wanting to know why Robin left her alone, Nowi scooted closer to Robin and leaned her head on his shoulder. "So, you wanna tell me why you're up this late? And please don't tell me you're thinking up new tactics..." she asked. Though she tried to sound nonchalant about it, Nowi was a little bit disappointed on the inside. She feared that Robin was falling back into his old habits of planning strategies late at night instead of spending time with her. Though she would never say it out loud, she dreaded it when Robin said he needed time to think.
"If it will put your mind at ease, I'm not thinking of new strategies right now. I'm thinking of something far more important." he responded. Nowi's mood lifted a bit higher. As long as he wasn't staying up this late for the sake of war, it probably was not that bad. She stayed silent, waiting to see if Robin would continue on with his explanation. Fortunately, he delivered. "After today, I've been thinking about Nah and Morgan. Those two are quite something..." he stated. The answer made Nowi smile in content a little as she couldn't help but feel happy that if Robin would be up late, then at least he was thinking about his children. The pleased dragonkin embraced her husband gently and nuzzled into his neck.
The tactician couldn't help but exhale calmly at being held like this. "So that's it? You're not even going to ask what it is I'm thinking about?"
"I'm sure you would tell me anyway... So go on: Tell me!" she mock-demanded with a giggle. Robin ran his fingers softly through Nowi's blonde hair, leaning his chin upon her head. The familiar scent of roses surrounded him, as it always did. "Nowi, do you ever wonder if we will be good parents?" he asked.
Nowi's eyes went to the sky as she contemplated her answer. "Well... I'd like to think so. But what does that have to do with what you were thinking?"
Robin sighed and loosened the hold he had on Nowi a bit. "The thing is, ever since I met Morgan and Nah, I keep wondering if we've been doing a good job as parents. Granted they haven't been born yet. I sometimes wonder if I'm fit to be a parent."
"I understand. I feel the same way sometimes too... Especially with Morgan." Nowi said. As much as she did love her children, she at times felt that she did not share a solid connection with them. It could have been many things: That they were practically adults already and did not grow up with her, or that she probably was not fit to be a mother at times. Jus like Robin, Nowi shared these fears, though she hid them and chose to keep a straight face. She promised to be there for Morgan and Nah, and despite what she may or may not be as a mother, she intended to keep it. "Don't get me wrong though. I love those two. I haven't carried, nurtered or even raised them yet, but already they're the most important thing in the world to me. It's just... I wonder about the future at times. Nah says she never knew either of us. Morgan somehow remembers you, but not me... I wonder at times if I didn't take care of her as well as I should. She seems to adore you though."
Robin nodded in agreement. Morgan was more attached to both him and Nowi than Nah seemed to be. "True. Nah is a bit more steadfast. She is quite young, for a Manakete and a human, but she insists on acting like an adult. At times I think she sees us as strangers since she grew up without us... I think it's best if we make more time to talk with her."
Nowi stood up from the deck of the ship and held both of Robin's hands into her own. "Maybe. But for now, you should get some sleep. You being up late won't be good for you or any of us. We're supposed to reach Valm tomorrow, and we all have to be in top form if we're gonna make it back alive. So come on. It's time we got back to bed." The tactician smiled at Nowi's concern for him in times where he had none for himself. It was refreshing to see how much she had matured since the time they first met. Although she did contain a childish facade in front of the others to match her appearance, Robin was the only person to see her adult side, he enjoyed having that privilege. He obediently stood up and walked with Nowi, her hand still in his back to the quarters of the ship.
The following morning was a smooth trip across the large ocean surface. The Shepherds all stood on the deck of the lead ship, watching the shores of Valm slowly approach on the horizon. Chrom stood at the front with Robin, waiting for when the ship would land in the port town ahead. The prince and tactician both stood patiently, yet still eager to make it to their destination.
"Are you ready...?" Chrom asked. Robin nodded in response, "Absolutely. Let's promise to make it home alive..."
Morgan and Nah pushed through the other Shepherds to see their father at the front. Even though they had performed admirably in the previous battle, they knew the mental complications they burdened him with, so said by Lucina who had been eavesdropping on Robin and Chrom's conversation before. Turning around to meet his children Robin had their full attention. "Yes girls? Is there something you have to say?"
The elder sister took a deep breath and clasped her hands at her stomach when addressing her father. "Father... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that me and Morgan disobeyed you and came here with the others. But you must understand that we only did what we thought was right... We didn't mean to make you worry." She then bowed her head and began to walk back but was stopped by Robin's warm hand on her shoulder. When she looked up to meet his eyes again, she was curious to see not a look of disappointment or even anger, but he was smiling. She couldn't imagine why he would seem happy that they would disobeyed him and threw themselves into danger the way they did.
"Do not trouble yourself anymore about that Nah. I'm not exactly happy that you have to sit through more fighting in this time, but I want you to know that I'm not going to stay mad at you or your sister. As odd as it is for me to say it, you two are old enough to make your own decisions. You don't need me to tell you what to do. But, I want you to promise me that you won't throw yourself needlessly into danger. Remember that everyone here relies on the other, don't try to take on a job that you cannot handle. You may both be Dragons, but you're still my children, and the last thing I would ever want is for you two to get hurt... I'd give my own life before I ever let that happen."
"Don't worry about us, Dad. We'll follow your lead and help wherever we can!" Morgan chimed. "I've been training with Mom for a long time and I think I'm getting better with my Dragonstone. We'll win this war, no matter what, right?" Robin looked at both of his daughters with pride. Even if they weren't born just yet, he was proud of the people they would become. "Right. Just remember-"
"We know; Stay safe."
"Good. Now get ready, we're almost there." As the two Manaketes returned to grab their things and prep for the long campaign, Robin turned back to the shores of Valm, which were now closer than ever before. He could feel a pit forming in his stomach but continued to stay confident. If nothing else, then for his daughters' sake.
"I can see you've come to terms with those conflicting feelings." Chrom said, a proud smile seeing its way across his face. "This is good. Use the love you have for your family to push you through our journey ahead." The prince's words only help to bolster Robin's passion. Now, he was ready to take on the forces that stood before him.
"I'm counting on you all." he said to his fellow Shepherds. All of them raised their weapons high in response. The time for war was here.
A/N: Yaaaay... Parental insecurity and no fluff... I know, I'm a terrible person. Well, at least it's better than nothin'.
Tomorrow, I will be posting a special, and final, Interlude chapter. Yeah, I know you guys are probably sick of those things interfering with the story, but there's a good reason for it. Look forward to it!
Oh, and final note on the poll: I'm going to close it right after I post the next chapter. That way, I can get started on writing some pages for the lucky girl that gets the next MU fanfic. So, you have until tomorrow to cast your votes! Good luck to whoever you chose!