Chapter 24
Hope POV
I honestly didn't care that they heard me and Charlie, but the thing that did bother me is that I didn't care. Any other person in the world would be drowning in their embarrassment, but here I was, just watching TV casually as if nothing had even happened...
Charlie knocked for me the next morning to walk me to school and he was really happy. "Hi!" he grinned. "Hey" I smiled back, trying to match up to his enthusiasm. "Ready for school?" he asked, offering out his hand for me to take, making me smile even wider at how cute he was. "Yeah, but I normally walk with my brother, is it okay if we wait?" I asked. "Yeah, of course" he nodded. I gestured for him to come in and he sat on the sofa while I went to the kitchen. "Charlie's walking with us if that's okay?" I stated more than asked. "Yeah, cool" he smiled. I nodded and walked back to the living room. "I can't stop thinking about last night" Charlie said as soon as I sat down next to him. "It was great wasn't it, I had a lot of fun" I smiled. "Me too, and it made me want to know you more because you're so amazing" he smiled and put his hand in mine. "I'm not really" I said, looking away, knowing what I might do to him. Why does he think the world of me when we've only been together for one day? "You're just really nice" I sighed. Maybe I don't deserve him... At that moment Alex came in and knocked me out of my thoughts. "Let's go" he smiled at us, there was something he was hiding and I could tell, but quickly we arrived at Liam's and I didn't get the chance to ask, or I was too much of a coward to ask, in some ways I guess I hadn't changed at all...
"Hey guys" Liam said, coming out his house then kissing Alex. "How long have you guys been together then?" Charlie asked them. "well, we've known each other our whole lives but we've been been boyfriends for 3 years, 3 months and 12 days" he grinned. "You're still counting?" Alex smiled then kissed him again. Charlie looked at me hopefully, maybe mentally asking that we be together that long, and that depends, if I can help myself. I said my goodbyes to everyone and went to English, looking inside the door but he wasn't there. "Looking for me?" the familiar voice asked. "No! You haven't seen a guy called Paul by any chance, he's quite cute?" I grinned at him. "Last time I saw him he was on the field, wanna go?" he grinned, playing along. I nodded and we went outside. "If you have a boyfriend, why do you still try it on with me?" he asked. "You're hot, and I like talking to you" I explained quite simply and I feeling quite sick with myself for saying it. "So what's your boyfriend to you?" he asked. "He's nice, cute, funny, everything that I want in a guy" I said. "But you don't love him..." he assumed. "I do! Well, I'm trying to, it's just myself getting in the way of myself" I said. "So you want me, for now?" he asked. "Well, maybe not just for now, I might want you for longer, I just need you nearby, I don't know why" I said. "Good enough for me, I don't...I don't really have any friends" he said. "Well you're a great person anyway, you don't need friends to prove that" I said and he kissed me. I kissed him back, deepening it and I could feel myself getting hard, but he pulled away. "I really shouldn't be kissing you, someone could see and then your boyfriend would dump you" he said. "But you know me, I would move on and act like I don't care, but he might take me back anyway, and I'd do it all over again" I said. "That doesn't sound nice" he said then sighed while looking up at the clouds. "I can't help it, but I'm not trying to be mean or harsh, it just happens, you know how long I've been with him?" I asked. "How long?" he asked back instead of guessing. "Well, this is the second day and I've already slept with him" I said. "It doesn't matter, you don't always sleep with someone because you love them" he said. "He says he loves me though and we've only been together for that day" I said. "Well, he must really like you then..." he sighed. I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. "It's fine, just don't act like a therapist, we'll be fine" I said. We just laid there for the rest of the lesson, occasionally sharing kisses.
Alex POV
I came out of my English class and went to wait for Hope. "Alex, can I talk to you for a second?" Hope's teacher asked. "Yeah" I said, feeling a bit worried. "Is Hope in today?" she asked. "Yeah, why?" I answered, feeling like it was some sort of trick question. "He wasn't in class, and neither was the person he sits next to, Paul Somerset-Butler" she said worried. "I'll find him and ask what happened" I said. "Thank you, that would be nice" she smiled. I had a feeling he wasn't just bunking with this kid...
"Where were you in English?" I asked when I saw him. "In class, where else?" he said casually. "I know you weren't! Your teacher asked me where you were, so I know you were bunking with some guy" I said. "Well, English is boring" he sighed. "What were you doing with the guy?" I asked. "We were kissing of course, we were talking!" he said sarcastically. Just then, Charlie came over, so I just dropped it, je better not be cheating, or two-timing? Maybe the other guy doesn't know about Charlie. "I need to go to the toilet" Hope said, then walked off. "What's up?" Charlie asked but got no reply. "He's just annoyed because I caught him bunking, he'll be fine" I sighed. "Cool" he said, he had no idea what could be happening but I hope that my suspicions are completely wrong.
Hope POV
We got home and today Charlie wasn't around he had to do something with his family. "Hope, can I talk to you?" my dad (Dougie) asked and he didn't look happy, not angry just unhappy. "You-" I started saying to Alex, but he interrupted. "I had to tell him, but he doesn't know everything" he whispered. I turned back around to face my dad. "Yeah, sure" I said as casually as I could manage, knowing that I was probably in trouble. "Are you okay?" he asked as we sat down. "Yeah, I'm fine" I smiled at him. "So, this boyfriend of yours, is the whole thing serious?" he asked. "Yeah, I like him, you probably heard yesterday" I said slightly grinning, his lips curved upwards for a second then they went back to being serious. "I trust you know that cheating is wrong?" he said more seriously. "I'm not!" I said. "Well, Alex said you were thinking about it" he said and I snorted. "I was messing with him, he was annoying me because I was talking to some girl, apparently flirting" I said and he nodded. "Just be careful, I don't want you to go around sleeping around, you'll hurt people and you know better than anyone else how that feels" he said and I nodded one last time. "Thanks for the talk" I smiled. "No, it's fine, and don't have too much fun with Charlie, you tend to get sore if you do it too much, me and Dan-" he grinned and started but I interrupted him luckily. "Dad! No, too much detail!" I said, covering my ears and running upstairs.
I didn't even go to the toilet earlier, I ran off to tell Paul that we had to cut down on the bunking so that nobody would get suspicious and he happily agreed. "No Charlie today then?" Alex asked when I laid down on my bed that was opposite from his in our shared room. "Nah, he's got something to do with his family" I sighed. "What's up?" he asked. "Well, I've realised after my chat with dad that I've been acting like a complete slut, I mean really, having more than one person at the same time" I said and I really meant it. Alex suddenly jumped at me, hugging me. "Why do I deserve a hug?" I asked. "You're back to being you, cute, adorable and kind, my little brother Hope" he said, hugging me tighter. "Thanks?" I said, pretty much clueless of what he was talking about. I would still see Paul, I need to decide, who do I want? I can't have them both and either way I'll end up hurting one of them, maybe I should ask for help, opinions? I decided against it after half an hour. Paul will understand, I have a boyfriend and I can't be with him, every time I'm near him I just have the urge to kiss him and I have to teach myself it's wrong. I'm only meant to kiss Charlie, he is the one I want! The rest of the night, me and Alex decided to spend some quality time together seeming as we we're always with our boyfriends instead of each other. "I miss doing this, it must have been years since the last time we did this" Alex grinned. "Yeah, it's great" I said, slinging my arm around his shoulder and resting my head on him just like I used to.
The next day was better, I was proud of myself and my family was proud of me, it was good feeling, I was ready for change. I held Charlie's hand on the way to school, making his face brighten up and me feel even happier that I was making him happy. "Sorry, I didn't talk to you much yesterday" I said then kissing him to hopefully make up for what I could've done to him. "No problem, and sorry I was busy yesterday but I have a confession..." he sighed and took his hand out of mine, sending chills up my spine, reminding me of the day that Lisa had destroyed any chances of us being together... Whatever Charlie was about to say will probably end us... Maybe he cheated before I could? Oh great, I bet I deserve this! "I haven't told my parents about being with you yet" he said. "Oh, I thought it'd be worse, you can tell them in your own time!" I smiled and pulled him into a hug, I was actually really starting to appreciate his company, losing him would actually hurt me... I was vulnerable again, is it what I wanted? "Thanks, I'm glad you understand" he said and we continued walking to school. I was dreading arriving, I had English first and I was going to have to tell Paul that I wasn't going to cheat anymore and in order to keep that I will have to stay away from him, I hope he takes it well...
I arrived at class and smiled at him, he smiled back...maybe I should tell him towards the end of the lesson, whenever, urgh I don't know! Whenever! I sat down next to him. "How are you today?" he grinned at me. "Fine, but I'm sorry and don't take this the wrong way" I said and his grin disappeared. "Take what the wrong way?" he asked looking worried, and I really was about to walk on him like he was nothing, I'm such an idiot. "I can't talk to you, I'm planning to change, I want to be normal, and I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend" I said and he looked at me with hurt eyes. "I'm really sorry" I said. "Well, we can still be friends" he said, looking like he was going to cry, after all, I was all that he had and it's my fault that he was now losing me... "I just can't! Whenever I'm near you, or anyone who isn't my boyfriend, I get the urge to kiss them and cheat, and it's just wrong, it's really not your fault, it's mine, we can be friends when I've sorted myself out" I said, feeling the guilt build up in my stomach. "Fuck you! You can't just say that and expect me to be ignored and then allow you to pick everything up when it suits you! You prick!" he shouted then stormed out the classroom. "Okay, everyone, be quiet and continue your work, Hope, a word" she said, glaring at me fiercely. I sighed and nodded, she gestured for me to come outside which I did. "What was that all about?" she asked harshly. "He didn't take my rejecting him very well" I said, feeling that the teacher was just overreacting slightly. "Well, don't do it in my class!" she glared. "Sorry miss" I said, "okay, go back in and finish your work" she sighed, I nodded and went in, something tells me it's not over with Paul, he doesn't seem the type to give up...