Taste the Rain
Chapter 24
"This is where I belong."
Back stiff and shoulders cramping, I tossed the last shovel full of dirt over the makeshift grave and patted it down. I would have to find a gravestone or something, anything to mark where she was. I couldn't bear the thought of her gravesite being unknown.
I had buried her right next to my mother in hopes they might keep each other company. It was kind of a stupid thought, because they were dead, but I couldn't help it. Now, I hoped, Cricket was in a better place. I dropped to my knees on the gravesite and sat there, watching the snow fall and feeling lost.
Then, all of the sudden, I had this overwhelming urge to go home. Not back to a hovel beneath an old building or a loft in a warehouse, but to the manor. There was no place in the world I wanted to be more than there right at that second. The streets were no longer the place for me; I belonged with Bruce.
I knew he would be furious and probably ground me for the rest of my life for running away, but even that couldn't convince me to remain on the streets. Home and punished sounded a heck of a lot better than here and free. Freedom had too high a price and it was one I was no longer willing to pay.
I slowly picked myself up, shivering, aching, soaking wet from melting snow and exhausted, to begin the trek home. All I wanted, right then, was to be picked up and held for a while. The grief the streets had brought me was just too great. I wanted that all washed away.
It took me a couple hours, but I finally made it home. By the time I had reached the bat bunker, the snow was falling so heavily, I could have never made the drive. I wasn't all that good with a motorcycle in normal weather. Dick was the one who could really drive. I stumbled up the steps after slithering through the tall iron gates and rang the great doorbell. The snow fell quiet and thick, coating my hair and my eyelashes and soaking me.
Slumping against the doorway, I waited. A moment later, it opened and a great shape filled it, silhouetted against the light from inside. "Jason, how dare you leave without telling me? Do you have any idea how worried I've been! You are in so much trouble young man." I breathed a sigh of bliss and relief. Ahh, it was so good to be home. I walked in slowly, the door slamming behind me. Bruce stood in front of me, tapping his foot angrily.
"You put me through hell tonight kid, I thought you were dead." I staggered a few steps towards him and gave a tug at his shirt and opened my arms, asking him without words to pick me up. More out of habit than anything else, he conceded, hauling me up to eyelevel.
"You are grounded 'till you're eighty. Robin is retired for the time being, you hear me kid? You are done. You had me so worried. You lied to me and then you left. I was scared to death. Where the hell did you go?" Even as he was still engaged in his tirade, I gave a yawn, leaned into him and closed my eyes with a great sigh. He was warm and soft and it just felt so good to be held close and gentle.
He stiffened in surprise at my conduct. You see, whenever he scolded me, I always went on the defensive or at the very least acted sullen. I didn't do well with punishment or authority figures. I was that kind of kid that, when you were mad at me, I continued to try and piss you off because of all these stupid pride issues. The fact that I was just consenting, not even bothering to open my mouth in defense was unsettling to him.
Of course, the first thing his mind jumped to was that I must be gravely injured. "Jason", he said urgently, holding me at arms length, "What's wrong? Did you get hurt? Are you ok?" I just stretched out my arms, asking him to hold me close again. But, he didn't. Instead, he noticed I was wet.
"My God, you're soaked. How long have you been out in the cold? You must be freezing. Alfred, get me some blankets, would you." Then, Bruce put me down and started searching me for wounds. He found the cut on my leg almost instantly. "I better wrap that up", he said, "I'll get some bandages in a minute." I gave an annoyed huff because I didn't even care about my leg, I just wanted to be held. "That doesn't look too bad", he mumbled, obviously still confused about my behavior, "What's wrong Jason?"
I gave a sigh. "Will you call me blue jay?" I said softly, "Please. I'll take whatever punishment you give me, I promise, but can we do it later. I just want to be held." Bruce recoiled and screamed across the house.
"Alfred, get the thermometer quick and see about the car. We might have to go to the emergency room. Jason's sick or something." I gave another sigh and slumped down. Alfred came in quickly with the blankets, looking worried and anxious.
"I believe the thermometer is with the first aid kit sir."
"I'll go get it. Jason, see if you can get out of those wet clothes and wrap yourself in one of the blankets." That was the first suggestion I was happy to hear from him and I gratefully stripped down to my boxers and cuddled into a blanket while he was out with Alfred retrieving the first aid kit. He came back a few minutes later, lying me on my side on the coffee table and moving the blanket aside so he could clean me up. I quietly submitted.
Once he had the wound wrapped, he popped the thermometer in my mouth. "No fever. Jason, what happened to you?" It was then that the blanket slipped a little and he got a pretty good look at my back. "Ohh Jason", he crooned softly, "those look awful. What happened?"
"Some guy hit me with a stick and threw rocks at me", I replied simply, figuring since there was nothing he could do about bruises, telling the truth was the fastest route back to being held again. Bruce just stared at me incredulously.
"Why?" he asked.
"I threw up on his doorstep", I murmured and then opened my arms again, begging to be picked up. I never begged like this, something that worried him even more. Regardless, he pulled me close. I settled myself comfortably, pressing my cheek to his shoulder.
"I better take you to the hospital", he murmured, "We can probably get you in pretty quick."
"I'm fine Bruce", I mumbled, my voice muffled by his shirt, "I'm just tired."
He still seemed wary, but calmed down a bit and said, "Alright. You need me, you know where I'll be. I guess I'll just put you to bed." With that, he started up the steps, smooth gait soothing me.
"Cricket's dead." He stopped midway up the staircase and pulled me back a bit.
"Who's Cricket?"
"My friend from the Renegades", I replied, "the Diablos beat her up and she died in my arms."
"Ohh Jason", he murmured, pushing a strand of hair out of my face, "I'm so sorry." He stroked my cheek, gazing at me with sympathy in his eyes. "Are you gonna be ok?" I shrugged and pushed myself back into his embrace. Bruce continued to climb, but he was obviously confused and upset about what had happened and me. I felt a little guilty making him feel that way, but I was just so relieved to be home, I couldn't help but wish we could just cut the chatter and he could simply hold me close.
Bruce put me down on my bed and tucked me in. I supposed it was no use begging to be held anymore. I resigned myself to just going to sleep in my bed, something that could hardly be called unpleasant in any sense but was a little less than I had hoped for. "Jason", Bruce murmured softly, eyes downcast. "If you're…unhappy here, I'll understand. I just want you to tell me, so I don't have to worry. I guess it never occurred to me you would miss the streets, but you had friends there, didn't you? Is that why you left?"
"Bruce", I said, crawling up to him, "I left to find closure, I guess." He looked down at me. "I needed to go back, you know, one more time, experience everything like it was before, that's why I couldn't tell you. I mean, this place, it's so different from the streets. I have rules here, I can be punished for stuff. I'm not free like I was on the streets, I'm tied down. So, before everything became final, you know, with the adoption and all that, I needed to revisit the past."
"And…?"Bruce asked.
"It cleared all my doubts. This is where I belong. I just needed to know that for sure. Now, I do." Bruce breathed a sigh of relief and scooped me up, holding me tightly. I curled my legs around his middle and wound my arms around his neck.
"My sweet blue jay", he murmured. I sighed happily and relaxed totally in his embrace, just happy to be home and safe and warm. I had a home. That was the most wonderful thing I could think of. This was where I belonged and, in a little while, it was going to be permanent, I was going to be his son. For about ten minutes, we sat there together in my room, him stroking me gently and holding me close.
"You know", he mumbled into my neck, "you're still punished." I gave a sigh and pressed my cheek to his shoulder. He smirked and stroked my hair. "I understand how you felt though", he said, pulling me back a little, "really I do."
"I know", I replied. "Tell me you love me." He smiled broadly and pulled me close, rocking me back and forth.
"Blue jay, I love you so much. You're such a good boy." Then, he put me back down in my bed and tucked me in. Pressing his lips to my forehead, he brushed a few stray fiery strands out of my face. "How's about tomorrow night, no patrol. Give those bruises a chance to clear up a bit. Sound reasonable?" I rolled my eyes and he giggled.
"Please don't ever run away from me again. I love you so much."
"I won't", I replied, "I promise." He grinned widely and embraced me once more before releasing me and walking out. Cuddled in my blankets, I closed my eyes, breathing deep and easy. All my dreams had blankets and kisses in them.