Chapter 25 – Abatement
"I finally found you."
Allura turned and looked over her shoulder as the former Crown Prince of the Drule Empire strode toward her confidently. A soft sigh left her lungs and a gentle smile touched her lips. He stopped in front of her, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Strange," he murmured. She blinked, startling from her own line of thought.
"What is?" The queen tilted her head to the side curiously, regarding the man openly.
"You. Standing like that. Looking at me like that," he gestured to her genteel posture, her hands folded demurely in front of her, shoulders relaxed.
"I'm afraid I don't understand, Lotor. How am I strange?" Her eyes followed him as he came to stand beside her. He pressed his palms onto the flat ledge that flanked the terrace he had found her on. Without even a trace of exertion, he pushed his thighs up onto the decorative stone in a smooth and sensual, effortless movement. Settling in, he eyed her as she stood in front of his perch. With the added height of his new seat, the man towered over the smaller girl even more than usual.
"Perhaps it's just everything else that is strange," he amended, raising his eyes and turning his head to the side to look out over the Arusian landscape. The balcony afforded them a two-hundred-seventy degree view of the planet. "Can't you remember a time where you would have thrown a stone at me before returning my affectionate greeting?"
A smile twitched at her lips.
"Your greetings weren't very affectionate," she replied honestly.
"But they were!" He glanced to her, mock-injury lacing his voice. "I proclaimed my love for you and my insistence that you become my bride! How much more affectionate can a man be? You wound me, my beloved."
Allura rolled her eyes, pressing her lips together tightly to rein in a smile. Even she could hear the sarcasm in his voice and knew he wasn't taking himself seriously.
She averted her eyes from his after a moment, following his lead and looking out over her lush planet. Wordlessly, she glided across the balcony and rested her elbows next to his hip on the ledge, close enough that her forearm brushed his thigh. She stilled at the accidental touch but did not shy away from it. Allura shook her head once, letting her smile melt through as she exhaled, becoming more serious.
"Of course," she acknowledged the initial question. "I daresay we haven't given ourselves much time to adjust. Rather… we haven't been given much time to adjust. I can't imagine a time before now where you would have put yourself in a position where I could just as easily push you off a ledge when you became too overbearing," she added playfully.
"What? Overbearing? Me?"
She stifled the giggle bubbling up and ignored the verbal nudge.
Silence fell around them as the sun began to set, the shadows growing deeper and the weight of the world heavier.
"This is it, then," she murmured after several minutes of comfortable quiet. Both weary monarchs remained stationary. The most recent events had left even the rugged warlord fatigued. After racing from the crash site with the queen's vitality very much in question, the days had both crawled and raced by at the same time. Long nights spent by her bedside, waiting for her to wake had felt like eternity. Everything else had been a chaotic maelstrom. The moment of quiet between them was laden with a rare calm and relaxing sense of peace, and both took solace in the reprieve, eager for rest. The only movement came from the rustle of Lotor's silver hair in the wind and the gentle bustle of the cloak gathered over Allura's left shoulder.
"You've really done it all," his voice echoed deeply. She glanced over to him, her eyes coming to rest on the sheath that housed his famous saber. After a reflective second, her eyes trailed up his arm to meet his gaze. The darkening sky behind him threw his bright hair into contrast. When she remained silent, his left hand lifted from his lap and reached to touch her cheek. The gesture was startlingly gentle, even for recent history. She reveled in the dichotomy of the man – that a hand so prone to violence and aggression was capable of such kindness. So much I never knew. Allura responded by reaching up and placing her palm over his hand. She exhaled once more, watching him warmly.
"I don't know if I would say that," she dropped her hand to her side, but his lingered on her skin. A deep breath left her chest and Allura leaned forward against the railing, allowing his fingertips to continue to caress her. As seconds ticked by, her thick lashes brushed against her cheek as her eyes draped closed and the queen allowed herself a brief moment of weakness; she granted herself permission to revel in the touch of another. It was a luxury she had never allowed herself, due to principle, pride or even fear.
"Allura," her name was a whisper on his lips, spoken with a reverence she was unused to hearing from him. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He said nothing else in the silence: her name uttered like a prayer was enough. The queen smiled faintly.
"Look at us now."
"You would have slapped me away before," he commented, his voice a throaty purr.
"And you would have been trying to physically haul me back to your castle, quite possibly with my friends' lives on the line," she retorted, her softness sharpening into playful wit as his hand dropped back to his lap. He sighed and looked up at the sky above them.
Allura eyed the ledge that rose to her mid-ribcage level. She pressed her right palm flat on the surface and bounced carefully on her foot before attempting to leap up to join him. She braced off her strong arm, fighting the urge to use both, and attempted to swivel her body in mid-air. The ledge was comfortably wide to sit upon safely, but the height made it difficult for the smaller woman to join him. She slipped; her single arm not strong enough to balance her weight properly. Before she landed back on the ground, Lotor's hand snapped around her waist and deftly hoisted her up beside him. She blushed at the assist as they sat side-by-side, facing the Castle of Lions with the Arusian landscape fanning out to all sides.
"Thank you," she murmured, looking up at the stars above them, feeling his gaze hot on her profile.
"Thank you for not attempting to use your injured arm and doing yourself more harm," he replied quickly, but appreciatively. He skimmed her to reassure himself as she settled in comfortably on his right. She bit down on her bottom lip and glanced up at him shyly. "How is it?" He reached over and took her left hand in between both his palms, and Allura felt heat color her cheeks at the intimacy of the gesture.
"Healing. It's stabilized now. Weak, still," she admitted. "But the doctor says it will be normal before too much longer. Actually," her eyes lit up as she realized something, her fingers curling around his palm curiously. "I might even be able to fly in combat again soon." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, testing her grip on his unwavering strength. His palm stayed firm beneath hers, unflinching under her gentle pressure.
"It's getting there," he agreed before cradling her palm protectively within his own. "Though, if all goes well, you'll never need to fly in combat again."
"At some point we'll have to deal with everything that's been happening. I already have meetings on the calendar with constituents, prospective kings, everyone. Talor and Anar have arranged to come by tomorrow and see the facility. They've never been here before," she said. Allura surprised Lotor by allowing him to continue to captivate her palm, and even went so far as to let it drop into his lap casually. Her boots swung absentmindedly in the air, dangling over the floor of the terrace. Even Lotor's hovered above the ground a small distance, only his toe brushing against the foundation.
"Allura," he tested her name on his lips. When he didn't continue right away, she queen tilted her head up to look at him. He continued to stare straight ahead at the castle, only startled from his trance when he felt something warm against his shoulder. Lotor looked down to find, of all things, Allura's head against him, her hand still nestled in his lap. The odd display of both ease and compassion stirred something foreign within him.
"Yes, Lotor?" She blinked, still watching him closely. He remained quiet, taking in her features and mesmerizing the image of her affection before he spoke again.
Silence.
"Would you have really shot him?"
She stared a moment longer before her soft eyes hardened. To his disappointment, Allura peeled away from him, leaning upright once more. She left her fragile limb in his care, but she stared straight ahead as she contemplated his question.
"I think I might have, honestly," she admitted. "I probably would have regretted it, to be fair. But I was so... so very angry," she whispered softly. "I've never felt that way before. It was... uncontrollable. I wanted... I actually wanted to do harm to another living being," she added in disbelief.
Lotor's earthy chuckle roused her from her memories, and she glanced back up at him with wide eyes.
"You're starting to sound like a Drule, my dear."
She frowned.
"I don't ever want to hurt anyone. I mean, I did in that very moment, but I don't like that I did, and I don't want to feel it again. It was terrible... it was... ...it was hot... I couldn't feel my own skin, I couldn't see clearly, only the person who had my attention... I..." She trailed off, at a loss for words. The prince remained quiet a moment before replying.
"It felt like fire in your soul, reshaping its form, rekindling old emotions, feelings... fears. It felt like shards of glass in your heart and a cold numbness in your mind. The thoughtful part of the brain turned off, only instinct kicked in. You started calculating both the most efficient way to kill someone, and the most elaborate way to cause them pain simultaneously, and you hadn't yet decided which to act on. You focused entirely on your target, to the point where a red haze clouded your peripheral vision, and any noise that didn't come from your target - your prey - sounded washed out and far away, perhaps as if they were even underwater."
His eyes snapped down to hers just in time to see her shocked expression. He quirked his eyebrow in question.
"...exactly," she breathed, reaching up to touch her collarbone with her right hand. She stared at him, bewildered, a moment longer. "...Do you feel that way... often?"
"It's an easy thing to feel. Anger is a very base emotion," he explained. "I am... perhaps more prone to it, yes, but we are taught from a young age to harness that feeling - to be empowered, not controlled by it. If you spend your whole life bottling those primal urges, Allura, how will you ever know what to do with them when they do burst free? And they will. ...They already have."
"But it's not proper-" His snort of derision cut her off.
"It's not proper to feel a sense of carnal vengeance when someone makes an attempt on your life? It's not proper to crave retribution or judgment when your people and your way of life are threatened? Have you never once before then, even for a fraction of a fleeting second, desired to hurt someone? Or something? Anything at all?"
His eyes bore into hers with a fathomless intensity and Allura could only swallow nervously. Her pious upbringing demanded she say no without a second thought, but the haunting fire in his gaze begged her to consider the question more deeply.
"I..." She began, her voice a breathless whisper in the night.
"Yes?" Her cheeks burned brightly as he urged her on.
"I... threw a temper tantrum twice as a child. One... you know about, with my father and my birthday, the other... I don't even remember why. But I remember wanting to break things. Glass things, specifically. I remember I had broken a cup, and I liked the way the shards looked on the ground. I wanted to make more. I... I couldn't tell you why."
"And did you?"
"No, Father told me not to," she said.
"You should have done it anyway."
Allura blinked and glared up at him.
"Why would I defy my father?"
"Because it's healthy. If you don't act on your anger, if you don't voice your hatred, if you don't... weep your sorrow... then what happens? It builds. It festers. And then you end up assassinating someone."
Allura looked away, watching the stone tile of the terrace. She said nothing and just sighed softly.
"Why do you think we have the coliseum? We vent that rage and anger, either by participating, or by spectating. It's healthy. It's actually considered a purification ritual done by anyone seeking to become a warrior - they don't fight for a year. They build their anger and unleash it all at once."
"It's so violent though," she murmured quietly.
"Just different," he corrected. "I'm not advocating for you to drag the Admiral into the coliseum for a death match," he explained. "-unless you let me fight him," he muttered. "I'm saying it's neither unhealthy nor unnatural to express it. You weren't wrong to feel that way, and you shouldn't hold yourself to such an unattainable standard."
"But… I need to be perfect-"
"If you were truly what you believe is expected of you, you'd be an all-knowing, emotionless, human-less entity. Yes, you would have unlimited power to protect your people, unlimited knowledge to govern them, but you would lack all empathy because you would have no idea what it's like to be a person. You would be a god. Men are better ruled by other men, Allura. Give yourself a break. Emotions aren't bad things to experience… and express."
He glanced to her quickly when he felt her fingers curl around his hands in his lap.
"We have a Consortium now," she changed the subject demurely. He allowed her the reprieve.
"Yes you do."
"We do. Unless you don't want anything to do with it, of course."
"When you say 'we'…"
Allura blinked and slid her eyes to him.
"I mean we. Truly. I did then when I first said it, and I do now. I… I feel confident enough to handle a planet. I can care for Arus. It still scares me, but I believe myself capable of it. The Galaxy Alliance was… more. It was far outside my comfort zone, but I felt that with a network of allies and advisors, I could handle the task. I… I won't ask you to help if you don't want to. You didn't ask for any of this, all you wanted was to get off Charin. …To go home," she said, allowing her gaze to shift away once more. He said nothing, simply waiting for her to speak again.
"It's not your battle, it's not your struggle. But if you want it, I'd… I'd like to share it with you. If not, I can fully respect that, but I'll be working very closely with Talor and Anar because I do not have anywhere near the experience to handle such a …diverse population and to do so well. I will rely heavily on the thoughts, opinions and judgements of the others in my inner circle." Allura froze, a thought striking her. She glanced up at him coyly.
Lotor quirked an eyebrow at the minxish look in her eyes.
"What."
"Do you remember what you offered me one of the first times we ever spoke?"
He stayed pointedly silent, watching her carefully as she physically turned to face him. She curled her outside leg under her body, not wishing it to hang precariously over the precipice.
"I believe it had something to do with offering me the galaxy. Lotor, I believe I am returning the offer now. Would you like to govern the Consortium with me?"
He threw his head back and laughed deeply as he realized what she was driving after. Grasping both her palms in between his, he gathered her close.
"Does this mean you'll be my wife?"
She frowned.
"No, it doesn't mean that, that's another discussion to be had at another time. But what do you say? The Cabinet, of course, with a full vote could override us – that is what I prefer. But… we could rule half the galaxy, and at the rate it's going, perhaps all of it before long."
"We will come back to that other conversation," he promised darkly.
"Drat you, will you just confirm if you want to do this Consortium thing with me or not? You haven't officially told me anything yet," she flushed.
"Yes, I accept your offer."
"Wonderful! Meetings begin tomorrow, we can start planning our charters, our constitutions, there's so much to do!"
"But Allura – the more you keep telling me no, the more stubborn I'm going to become. I want it. You want it. I will have you as my bride eventually."
Allura swallowed nervously, her skin heating further. "Y…yes, well, we can… talk about that another time," she whispered.
"I do not like being told 'no'," he added.
"I'm very well aware of that fact, Lotor," she muttered dryly, her excitement for the Consortium barely marred by his doggedness.
Both froze as the door to the balcony swung open. Two sets of eyes lit up at the unexpected visitor.
Cossack shifted nervously before them.
"I was wondering if you might have room for a general," he began, his eyes glancing from his charge to the shimmering queen at his side. Allura clapped her hands together delightfully and in a flourish, she eased herself off the railing.
"Careful," Lotor commanded, reaching to help her down. She waved him off and moved smoothly across the closed space to the new companion.
"This is fantastic news, Cossack! We would love to have you. I would, at least," she paused and turned to look over at Lotor.
"Sire," Cossack began as Lotor shook his head once.
"I can't think of a better man for the job," he said before the soldier had a change to beg anything.
"So you don't want to stay in Castle Doom?" Allura glanced back to Cossack. He just stared at her for a moment.
"Would you?"
The queen burst into a fit of giggles as the man continued.
"On a good day it's a terrible idea, right now King Zarkon's just mad at everyone who looks at him funny. You two are far more interesting, anyway."
"Of course, you're welcome to stay here or at any of the Consortium planets. I can even give you quarter within the castle if you so choose."
"Quarter would be perfect." He saluted both the monarchs before turning to leave them alone. He paused in the doorway. "Unofficially, and off the record – but I rather think you'll both like to get wind of this before it's on your desks formally – Haggar may be approaching you for a similar request. I think it's a bit undecided what she's doing right now, but she's definitely mentioned more than once about leaving at some point."
Allura turned to look at Lotor with wide eyes as Cossack left them alone, the door to the balcony swinging shut in his wake.
"What do we do about Haggar?"
Her footsteps echoed across the balcony as she came to stand in front of him, staring up into his eyes. In a single, swift movement, he slipped off the ledge and landed in front of her, his arms snaking around her torso and pulling her in close.
"We can bring it up at the next Cabinet meeting. We can let your – our – underlings do some work and make a decision for once," he added, touching her jaw lightly.
"I trust them," she whispered.
"I know."
Silence once more rained down upon them as they stood, hip to hip, in the night.
"I'd imagine your father would be proud of you, right now," he said quietly. Allura stilled in his arms and for a fleeting second, he thought he had upset her with the mention of the late king.
"Would you like to find out?" Her words reverberated through the night as she looked up at him. "I'll introduce you. I've met yours, perhaps it's time you meet mine."
Yay more Bridges - albeit another dialog-laden chapter. More action on the way! Thank you, thank you for reading this far. Feel free to leave a note - love it, hate it, I want to know.