Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay; technical problems. Chapters should be posted regularly from now on. Thanks for reviewing!
July 3, 1996
July 25, 1997
Dear Harry,
Oh my God. That was... terrifying. I mean, I knew it was coming, that it would eventually happen, but I still wasn't expecting it. And now I'm in a really big predicament, and I don't know how to get out, and I don't know what to do.
I saw him today - Voldemort. He called for me, and Mother took me to see him. I was terrified, and it was obvious he could see it. He gave me an ultimatum - if I don't do what he says, he'll kill me, and my family. My family, Harry. They may not be nice people, but they're still family.
He wants me to... Oh Merlin, I can't even write it down. So how the fuck am I supposed to actually do it? This is going to be impossible. And never mind that, it makes me wants to puke just thinking about what I have to do.
I don't want to do it. I really don't, but what choice have I got? Either way, someone's going to die. I don't want to kill. I don't want to be a murderer - and to say it bluntly, I don't want to be a Death Eater. If that got out, I'd be killed straightaway, but it's the truth. It fills me with dread and makes my gut churn to think about what I will eventually do. I don't suppose you know how it feels, knowing you have to kill someone.
I have a faint idea of how I might end up doing it - getting the Death Eaters in, I mean. I'm not too sure, as I don't know if it's possible, but the idea's there, and that's enough for now.
I don't even want to think about it. How am I going to go through with it? Oh God, I think I'm going to start crying, or screaming, or puking, or fainting, or something.
But it's kill or be killed. In the end, what choice do I have? I hate this.
Love,
Draco