…
Bella
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When I finally wake, I realize I slept through the entire night. I must've been beyond exhausted because my crowded bladder didn't even wake me. Though, now it's urgent that I empty it. Carefully sitting, I stretch my back and neck, working out the kinks from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. Getting to my feet, I make my way to the bathroom. When I walk in and close the door, I realize that there are no windows, so it's pitch black inside. Jacob's knock startles me.
"Bells? Hey, you should leave the door open. It's too dark in there with it closed. I promise I won't walk in on you." Taking a deep breath, I realize he's right, I can't see anything in here like this. Opening the door and peeking out, I see he's moved back to his bed.
Turning back around, I can see what I have to work with. Considering the age of the facilities and lack of regular cleaning, it's not as bad as it could be. Trying not to think about it, I quickly do what I need to do, and use the large bucket of water in the corner to fill the tank in order to flush. We may not have flushing toilets at home, but I still understand how they work. Using a bit of the water to wash with, I feel better than I did last night.
Walking back into the room, I can see that there's food for us. Surprisingly, it's fresh. There are eggs, and what look like fried potatoes. My eyes must be wide in surprise because Jacob is chuckling from his seat on his bed.
"Wasn't what you were expecting?"
"Not really. But, I hadn't given it much thought either. Are the meals all like this?"
"Yes, exactly like this actually." He's laughing still. "I hope you like potatoes, both white and sweet, carrots, beets, garlic, rutabagas, and eggs. Because that's literally all, you'll be eating." With a sigh, his laughter dies, and he's serious again. "They must've brought seeds with them originally, because they've managed to keep fresh food on the menu now for a while. Back when I first came here, they were feeding me some other vegetables, but it was seasonal stuff. I guess this is all food that'll store well over the winter. They didn't have eggs until they brought Kate here. I think they found a farm or something. I do know they have a small greenhouse nearby. That's how they're able to keep animals out of the food." He grabs a plate and digs in.
I pick up mine and start to eat as well. The food is bland, but it's not horrible, and I know that both the baby and I need the nutrition. I don't even know how many days it's been since I've eaten anything. My mind is still swirling with questions, and I wonder if Jacob can answer any of them. Thinking I should start with him, I fire off the first one.
"So, were you taken, or did you come here willingly?" He coughs around the bite in his mouth, apparently startled by my direct question. Swallowing, he looks up at me.
"Um, a little bit of both maybe. It was, um, Riley who came to the window of the room I was being held in. He managed to sneak into the house and knock Paul out, then we took off before sunrise. I'm still not sure how he found out where I was. I mean, he had been gone for like a month maybe. The only thing I can come up with is that Alec or Jane somehow got word to him that I was being...held. I guess they jumped at the prospect of getting some more muscle. Probably figured I wouldn't refuse the opportunity to get out of there alive. I knew the consequences I'd have to pay for what I did to you, so I took my chances and left. The whole walk back to Seattle, he tried to convince me that what they're planning on doing was a good idea, that I could have anything I wanted. I didn't talk much, just listened to him spout off about all sorts of stuff. I never answered him. We got back here, helped them set things up, and I kept my ears open. When I finally figured out what their plan was, I made the mistake of trying to escape, to go back and warn everybody. That's why I'm under lock and key."
I mull over what he's told me. It makes sense that they'd need muscle, more numbers. And Jacob did have limited options. But what he said finally registers in my mind. "What do you mean warn? What are they planning?"
"All I know is that they're expecting reinforcements to come from somewhere, and soon. They kept talking about who they were gonna get rid of, which houses they were gonna take over, whose wife they were gonna take, who they were gonna put to work on which jobs, shit like that, like they're planning on taking over the settlement. When I asked them how they expected to do that with just the five of us, they all just laughed and said that there would be more coming. When I heard Alec and Jane's names getting tossed around, I knew there was more going on here. Those two always gave me the creeps. And that's why I asked them to bring you here. I hoped that if I had you here, that whenever this all goes down, you'd be out of there. I wanted to keep you safe."
"What? So you just took it on yourself to 'request' me? To put my baby and me in danger? Goddamnit Jake, how could you do that? Did you think my family, my husband, couldn't protect me?" I'm seething now, I can feel my pulse race, and I know my blood pressure must be rising. Knowing I need to keep myself calm for the baby's sake, so I take a few deep breaths while I wait on Jacob to answer me.
"No, it's not like that Bella. I didn't know you were pregnant, and I know Edward's more than capable of protecting you, but what choice did I really have? What they're planning, it's big; bigger than anything we've dealt with before. If I couldn't get home to warn everyone, I had to do something! Look at it this way, he's probably on his way here now, and once the dust settles, they'll have the warning I was trying to get to the settlement. There will be time to prepare for whatever it is that's coming."
"When the dust settles? Jake, people's lives will be at risk here, that's the dust you're talking about! My husband, my friends, will be put in harm's way because of some misguided notion that you're in love with me, and thought that you could just...just, ask for me!" I'm screaming now, my anger boiling inside of me.
"First of all, it's not misguided, I do love you! But, as much as it pains me to admit, I know you'll never return those feelings for me. Second of all, if I hadn't asked that they bring you here, and whatever hell they have planned was unleashed on the settlement, there would've been no warning, no time to prepare. I know it's risky, I know that people might be hurt, but if it doesn't go down this way, the alternative would be so much worse, so many more lives at risk. Is that what you want?"
The fight and fury seem to have left us both. The thought of some kind of attack coming to the settlement, one that no one is prepared for, is startling. Logically, I know that Jacob is right, that some sort of warning was imperative. But, still, knowing that he's at least partially responsible for me being here still doesn't sit right with me.
Seeming to have lost our appetites, we've both long since pushed away our plates. Jacob has retreated to his side of the room, and I go back to my bed. Curling into it, trying to warm up and calm myself, when more questions come to mind.
"How is Garrett here? And where is everyone else? There were six of them that left two months ago. Is he the only one that made it here?" My heart clenches at the thought of something happening to Jasper.
"They found us just about three weeks ago I think. It was so bad, Bella; gunfire, screaming. I could hear it through the door, even through the vents. The guys here must've known they were coming; something had to have tipped them off because they were ready for them. From what I could gather, Randall and Collin were killed, Garrett and Sam were captured, and Jasper hauled away a wounded Mike. Garrett is in with Kate and Sam is locked in another room on this floor. Wherever it is, the air ducts or vents must be connected, because once in a while we can have conversations through them. Although they're usually not very pleasant. They all still think I'm a monster because of what I tried to do to you. I guess I don't blame them." His voice drops off as he hangs his head. I don't say anything because I'm not ready to forgive him. Then what he said registers, and I quickly scramble to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Wait! You mean you can talk to Kate and Garrett? You can hear them through the vents?"
"Yeah, sometimes. I mean I think they have to be in just the right spot for me to get their attention."
I hop off my bed, and rush over to the wall that we share. The vent is well over my head, so I push the chair over and carefully climb to stand on it. Putting my ear to the vent, I can hear murmuring, but no clear voices. I know they're not close enough to hear me, so I don't try. I wouldn't want to alert any of the guard dogs to what I was doing. Resigned that I won't be having chats with Kate any time soon, I carefully lower myself down into my chair.
Looking over at Jacob, the reality of our situation sets in. We're stuck in this room together for God only knows how long. Knowing that the people holding us here have no real vested interest in our well-being, I find the resolve to make the best of my situation. Besides, what's the expression; better the devil you know than the devil you don't? I know that my friend, Jacob, the man he was before jealousy and hurt invaded his heart, was a good man. He's changed, definitely, but essentially he's the same person, and he is someone familiar, someone from home and I need that connection.
"So, what do you do all day?"
His startled expression tells me he's surprised I'm willing to speak to him after the exchange we had just minutes ago.
"Oh, um, read, play cards, talk to myself." He shrugs, and his goofy expression reminds me of my old friend, bringing a tentative smile to my face.
"You have books? Where?"
He gets up from his spot on the bed and walks over to a closet. When he opens it up, I can see stacks of books, a few decks of cards, and a few board games. Memories of happier times flood my mind; games of Go Fish and Checkers filling our days. The look on his face tells me that he remembers the same things.
"So Bells, care to defend your title of ultimate Go Fish champion?"
With a small smile and nod, I answer, "Game on."
The next morning after breakfast, I once again hear Benjamin wailing. I quickly go to the vent, and try my luck.
"Kate? Kate, it's me, Bella. Are you there?" I press my ear to the vent and wait. It's not more than a moment, and I hear her voice.
"Bella? Is that really you? Oh God, they took you too? Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Oh, Bella, you have to be close to your due date. Has Jacob hurt you? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything is okay." I wipe my nose and sniffle, quiet tears dropping from my eyes. "The baby is fine, and I'm okay. Jacob isn't hurting me. He's actually been really helpful. How are you? How is Benjamin? I've heard him crying."
"He's okay. He's teething, so right now he's not happy." We spend the next hour or so talking, and catching up, me reassuring her that I'm not in danger with Jacob. We agree to 'meet' again every day around the same time.
The next several days pass this way. Meals are brought, always in the mornings, and sometimes midday. We play games, I talk with Kate, I nap, we both read, I stare out the window, we talk. The talks are good; guarded but good. It feels as if I've gotten my brother back. He keeps apologizing, and I keep avoiding giving him a response. I see he's changed, but the memories of what happened are still vivid in my mind. I'm just not ready to let it go yet. Water is delivered in the evenings, and we go to bed at sundown.
On the fourth night, the temperature plummets, and I'm shivering so hard the bed is shaking. Even with several blankets, I can't seem to get warm.
"Bella?" Jacob's voice calls out into the darkness.
"Yeah?"
"Can I help you get warm? I swear I have honorable intentions."
"What?" I screech.
"Look, we're both cold. It would just be to keep each other warm. I'll stay on my side of the blankets, I promise."
Knowing that allowing my body temperature to fall too low, possibly getting sick, could be detrimental to the baby, I relent. "Fine. But keep your hands to yourself. This is just to stay warm."
He gets out of his bed and awkwardly climbs into mine, bringing all his blankets with him. Settling next to me, he's already giving off heat. We're turned face to face, but my eyes are closed. I can feel his warm breath on me. Thoughts of who I really want next to me flood my mind, and I'm overcome with emotion. Before I can stop it, the tears are falling. Knowing it would take God or the devil himself to stop my husband from coming for me, I know deep down that he's out there, stuck in the bitter cold.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay. I'm not sure how yet, but I really believe that things will work out. We'll figure this out and get you home. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure you get back there."
He's trying to comfort me, rubbing my arm, attempting to calm my growing hysterics. I finally drift off to sleep, with the arm of the man who was once my best friend wrapped around me. Vivid dreams of Edward, frozen in the snow keep me from getting any real rest. I'm up and down several times, sometimes awoken by the nightmares, sometimes from the baby pressing on my bladder. When the sun finally makes an appearance, I wake for the final time, my back to Jacob's front. We're still separated by blankets, but with his arm wrapped around me and his hand on my belly, the position seems much too intimate.
"How does it feel for you?" His voice is soft, unwilling to break the quiet of the morning.
"What? How does what feel?" I'm a little unsettled by his question, unsure of his meaning.
"The baby moving inside you like that. It feels really strange from the outside, I can only imagine how it is for you."
"Oh. It's um...it's really hard to describe. Early on, it felt like bubbles, then flutters. Then it evolved into rolls and nudges. Now, since I'm so close to my due date, he's kind of run out of room, so he's just everywhere." The thought makes me smile.
Edward and I had these conversations constantly. He was fascinated by the life growing inside of me. He loved to feel the baby move. His nightly talks with my belly were the highlight of my day. Thinking of him missing even a moment of this again brings tears to my eyes.
"Edward loved to feel him move." My smile is sad, and I'm thankful that Jacob can't see my face.
Silence has settled between us. Jacob slowly removes his hand from my belly, and I can feel him pulling away from me, though he hasn't yet moved from the bed. The room is so quiet I only hear the sounds of our breathing.
"You really love him, don't you?" There's no anger or malice in his question, only sincere curiosity.
I roll onto my back, then to my other side so I can see him, which is no small feat in my condition. I stare at him for just a moment, seeing the friend I once had. I'm not sure that we could ever get back to where we were, but I know in my heart, I've forgiven him.
"I really do, Jacob. With everything that I am." He turns his head to look me in the eyes.
"And you're happy?"
"Happier than I've ever been. He's like the other half of my soul. I didn't know what I was missing until I found him." He nods once, seemingly satisfied with my answers.
"Okay then. That's all that really matters. I never had a chance, did I?" he says with a sad smile. I take a deep breath, carefully considering my words. Even through all that's happened between us, I still don't want to hurt him.
"Jacob, you've been my big brother figure nearly my entire life. I've always looked up to you, respected you. Despite what happened this past summer, you'll always be my big brother. It never would've been you, because you already had a place in my heart."
No more is spoken between us, and I snuggle into his warm side, resting my head on his shoulder, drifting off to sleep.
The days that follow are much of the same. We never see Alec, Jane, or Marcus again, only Riley when he brings the food or water. He barely disguises his disgust when he sees me. I don't understand it, so I ask Jacob.
"Riley? I don't know. I think he had it in his head that Alec and the rest of them were going to bring back a girl for each of them. When it was just you, I imagine he wasn't very happy about it. They've been promised a whole lot by the two of them. I used to hear it constantly before I tried to leave and they locked me up in here. Alec and Jane told them to wait, that they'd be rewarded when the time comes, but they're getting impatient."
"What else have you overheard while you've been here?" I run my hands over the tightening in my belly. I've been having painless contractions for a couple of days, so I know my time is coming soon.
"Not a whole lot more. Just bits and pieces. Oh! I do remember them mentioning a guy, John Aro maybe? I could be wrong on the name. Do you remember hearing that anywhere?"
I'm shaking my head. "No, I don't remember that name being mentioned. Who said it?"
"All of them mentioned it at one time or another. Like this guy was the key to all of it. It was just really weird." The conversation kind of fizzles out, and we get ready to turn in for the night. Since that first night he kept me warm, we've shared a bed. He stays inside his own blankets, and I stay in mine, but having him close, someone that reminds me of home, helps me sleep better.
As we settle in for the night, and as my body relaxes, once again I begin to feel the tightening. Now it seems to be happening more frequently. Thankfully, they're still painless. Jacob must notice the worried expression on my face.
"Bella? Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"
"Yeah, it's just my body getting ready for the delivery. Esme always called them Braxton Hicks contractions. As long as they come and go and don't get worse or regular, everything is okay."
"But it'll be soon, won't it?" His voice is almost somber. I try not to think about doing this without my husband at my side, but it's looking more and more like I'll be pretty much on my own when it happens.
"Yeah, Jake, it'll be soon." That sobering thought is on my mind as I go to sleep thinking about what's next. I make a mental list of all the things I learned from Esme over the last few years, knowing I'm going to need it all when the time comes. And that time is coming very quickly.
The next morning I find myself at the window again, just as I am every morning, scanning the skyline and nearby structures. I've made a game of making up stories about the buildings, and the people that lived in them. Sometimes I even imagine Edward and me living in one of the apartments in the big city. I imagine what our life would have been like if the virus hadn't spread all over the globe.
Looking directly across the street, the movement at one of the windows gets my attention. Focusing on it, I realize that what I see wasn't there just yesterday. When I finally get a good look at what it actually is, the breath gets caught in my throat, feelings of happiness, excitement, and pure fear course through me.
Seeing the green bandana, our green bandana, flapping in the breeze tells me that he's here, he's come for me. My eyes scan the rest of the building, looking to see if he left me any other clues but I find nothing. Tears of joy and absolute fear fill my eyes. I know that two men lost their lives, one was injured, and two more were captured the last time a group tried to get into the building. What if someone is hurt, or even killed, trying to rescue us? I could never live with that.
"What's got you looking so serious?" Jacob's voice doesn't even get me to break my concentration on the sight before me. I don't answer him, but hold my hand out, wiggling my fingers, silently asking him to come closer. I hear him approach, and then he's standing next to me.
We're both staring out the window, him off into the distance, and me still focused on that window. When I speak, my voice is very low, unsure if the walls have ears.
"What do you see? Across the street?" I'm pointing at the apartment building, hoping he'll notice it. It takes several minutes, but I know the moment he does. His eyes are wide, and he looks at me with questions all over his face.
"Is that...?"
"It's him."
"How do you know? Could it be someone else?"
"No, it's him. That bandana is...ours. He's trying to tell me something."
"Yeah, but what? Is it green for go? Is there anything else about where it is that could be a clue?" Looking at the building again, I see it's stuck under the window on the tenth floor. Maybe that's a clue. Counting from the end of the building, it's the ninth window from the end on that floor. I step away from the glass and find my way to my chair, my head spinning. Trying to think like my husband, I'm drawing a blank. I'm sure those numbers mean something, but what? What would he be trying to tell me?
Hearing Benjamin fuss again, I quickly get to my feet and call out for Kate through the vent.
"Kate? Hey, I found a new game to play." Just like the walls possibly having ears, I'm not entirely certain that our vent conversations aren't heard by someone else.
"Oh yeah?" Kate sounds confused, but she plays along anyway. "What game?"
"I've just been imagining all the different people that once lived in that apartment building across the street. You know, who they were, what they did, making up their life stories. I've come up with ten so far." I'm biting my lip, hoping she understands what I'm trying to say.
"Ten stories, huh?" I exhale a breath I was holding, my forehead resting on the wall and a small smile on my face. She understood.
"Yeah, Kate, ten stories. You should see what you can come up with. It's actually pretty fun." I plop down into my chair, giving them some time to go and see what it is I'm talking about, but still staying close enough so I can hear them if they come back to the vent. I'm not sure how much time passes, but eventually, she's back, and I can hear the waver in her voice.
"Oh Bella, that's such a great game. Have you come up with any more? We came up with nine."
"Yeah, I thought of nine more as well. But I'm not sure where to go from here."
"Yeah, same here. Well, how about we think about it, and see what else we can come up with."
"Okay, but promise me you'll let me know if you think of something else. I don't want you having fun without me." My giggle is genuine, the first one I've had since I came here, over a week ago.
The rest of the morning and into the afternoon, Jacob and I passed around ideas, but nothing seemed to make sense. When Jacob's head shoots up from our game of chess, and he runs across the room to the window, I clumsily follow behind him.
"What is it? Did you think of something?" He's quiet for a minute, silently counting to himself.
"Bella, how many stories is that building?"
I look again, noticing the sun beginning to set behind it, and count from the ground up.
"One, two,..." I count softly to myself. "Twelve, why?"
"I think it's a time. Count how many windows are on each floor. It's less than twelve, so it can't be time. What other number would Edward think was important?"
Counting left to right, I count nine windows. "Nine. But I don't know what that means either. Nine what? Does he have nine guns? Is he waiting until the ninth of the month? It could be anything!" I walk away, frustrated.
"Maybe it is nine guns." I give him a look of incredulity. "No, don't look at me that way. I'm serious."
"How can one man carry... Wait!" The grin on his face tells me I'm on to something.
"Exactly, he's not alone. Maybe there's a group of nine of them. That makes sense, right?"
"It makes perfect sense Jake!" I turn and give him a huge hug. "Thank you. I don't know what I would've done without you." I quickly pull away. "I need to tell Kate."
I rush over to the vent to get their attention.
"Kate! I thought of more for the game." It takes a moment before I hear her reply.
"What else, Bella?"
"Jacob thinks that if we give it...time, we could come up with a whole...group of others."
It's quiet for a bit, maybe she's sharing the new thoughts with Garrett.
"Bella?"
"Yeah?"
"Garrett thinks that's actually a really, really good idea. He agrees we need more time to come up with a new group." Now I'm smiling from ear to ear. "He also thinks it's probably too late tonight to give it any more time."
Too late for more time? Oh! She must mean it won't be ten o'clock tonight.
"I think you're right. We should wait until morning. Get a good night's sleep so we can be sharp tomorrow. I want us all to be ready to...play."
"So do we. Goodnight Bella."
"Goodnight Kate. Kiss that adorable baby for me."
"I will."
Hoping, no, knowing that we're on to something about the time and size of the search party, I'm eager to go to sleep. First, I change out of the scrubs I've been wearing for the last week, and back into my own clothes. I want to be ready when he comes for me. I place my coat over the chair and climb up into the bed. We burrow into the blankets and try to get comfortable. I try to shut my mind off, but I'm just too excited. I know he's out there, somewhere close. So close, that if I saw him in the window of the building across the street, I probably could see his smiling face.
With visions of my husband's beautiful smile and bright green eyes, I finally drift off into sleep.
A/N: *Runs and hides to dodge the rotten produce projectiles* Okay, I know many of you are not happy with the decision Bella has come to; to forgive Jacob. I know for a fact many of you, probably myself included, would be unable to forgive such a horrible act of violence. But this Bella sees value in the possibilities of forgiveness and redemption. Please feel free to leave your thoughts in a review, though. And don't forget, Edward still has no idea she's being kept with him...
Does anyone remember the significance of the green bandana? Bonus points if you do!
Thanks to my girls, SunflowerFran, my amazing beta, (but I like to fiddle, so all mistakes are mine) and my wonderful pre readers, gabby1017, Life and Death's Lullabies, and SarcasticBimbo. And a special thanks to 2brown-eyes for my banner.
Thanks so much for reading! Each and every review, favorite, and follow make my day! I've tried to reply to each and every one, and if I've missed one, I'm sorry! They truly mean the world to me! Don't forget, there are picture teasers every Monday for the following chapter on my Facebook page, Sunshine Fics! Stop by and say hello!