Twilight: Retarded Edition
Me: Hey Edward, what would you do if Bella ever left you?
Edward: *takes in sharp breath and makes weird face* O +O
Me: ........................................................................................?
Edward: *sighs* I would let her go..
Scene Freezes
Author walks out in front of frozen movie screen wearing black suit and gold heels *thanks ally*
Me: Welcome to this edition of, Point out that mistake.
Me: Okay people, do you notice anything wrong here?
Some guy: Uh yeah! You're hair is PITCH BLACK!
Me: Your point?
Some guy: ARE YOU BLACK?!
Me: .........just because I have black hair makes me black?!
Some Guy: WELL ARE YOU?!?!?!
Me: Why yes, yes I am. And spanish. Why does it matter?
Some Guy: o_o.........YOUR HOT!
Me: :|........*Shoots guy and moves on to next scene*
Me: Alright readers, as we all know, Edward says he would let her go right?......WRONG.
Me: Let's see what Eddie ward would REALLY do if Bella left him.....
Author clicks button on remote and scene changes.
Bella: *bites lip to hold back tears* E-Edward?
Edward: Yes love?
Bella: I-I have to tell y-you s-something....
Edward: Bella? What's wrong, why are you crying? Are you in pain?
Bella: N-no....I.....I'm leaving you! For Jacob! HE'S SOOO MUCH BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU AND HIS SMILE.....*SWOON* MY GOD NOT EVEN YOU EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN CAN DAZZLE ME THAT MUCH HONEY. NOW I'M SORRY I'M GOING OFF LIKE A MAD WOMAN, BUT BABY, YOU NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH! AND ONE OTHER THANG, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT NAME LOVE? UH-UH HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. I PUT UP WIT IT FOR LONG ENOUGH, NOW YOU JUST TRIPPIN PLAYA. PEACE BITCH!
Bella snaps her fingers in Edward's face and walks off swaying her hips and her arms, before she trips, and falls in a errupting volcano that somehow came out the ground.
Edward: *IN GAY VOICE* LIKE OH MY GAWD! SHE JUST FLAT OUT LEFT ME!!! WHAT IS I S'POSSED TO DO!?.......HEY! I WONDER IF THAT HOTTIE PIECE OF MAN CANDY MIKE NEWTON IS STILL AROUND.............
Edward looks around park.
Edward steps out costume and appears to extremely hot blonde chick with huge..........never mind use your imagination.
Author freezes the video
Me: So you see? That is why Bella must NEVA, NEVA, NEVA, NEVA, EVA, EVA, EVA !!! Leave Edward. Anthony. Masen, Cullen.
Me: Good day.
Edward: You know, that was uncalled for....and don't show that picture of the hot blonde to Rosalie.....
Me: Wh-
Rosalie runs into scene with hot blonde screaming and jumps into mid air before freezing and doing a 360. Then, she runs in jumps and makes a kicking pose and in slow motion, knocks the blonde Edward girl, now known as Edwina, to the ground and starts beating the hell out of her.
Edward: That's why.....
Me: O_O...............
author note :
Bueno, espero que me perdone todos en mi pequeño ..... giro en la historia. Por favor, abstenerse de matar a mí, por favor. Quiero vivir! gracias y adiós a todos ustedes! Buen día. Dije buen día!
*Well, I hope you can all forgive me in my little.....twist in the story. Please refrain from killing me please. I want to LIVE!!!! thanks and goodbye to you all! Good day. I said good day!!*
Hehe goodbye! :D