The Definition of 'Nightmare'

—noun; a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.

BELLA POV

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer

I stood under the shower and let the warm water run over my body, ironically cooling my fiery nerves.

I hated it here; I really hated it here. I was trying to act like the move to Dixville wasn't any skin off of my nose, but I couldn't stand it in this dirty, drab, cold place. I wanted to go home. I figured that was never going to be a possibility now.

It had only been a week and besides our late night visits, I hadn't really gotten a chance to see Edward. There was usually no interaction between the patients—even during mealtimes—so we had to sneak around like teenagers.

I thought my life would completely change when I got here. Maybe I needed to give it more time, but I honestly didn't see a difference. I woke up and did the same routine I always did back at Windemere. The only positive thing about all of this is that Aro was head of the facilities here, so he didn't have a lot of time to spend with me. Here, there were more patients like me, who were fucking screwed up in the head. He didn't have the time to keep me for hours in his office. It was always a quick therapy session that never really accomplished much before I was back in my room for the rest of the day.

The new drug he was testing, Drymazapan, was a mood suppressor. It was supposed to make you feel utterly lifeless and for some reason, Aro wanted Edward and me on it. I couldn't figure out why yet. Through my research, I found that the drug didn't work when taken with fruit juices, though; something about the way the body breaks them both down. I didn't really understand it, but every time I got out of therapy, if I couldn't throw up the medication, I would down a bottle of orange juice. Edward did the same. I wasn't letting him take anything until I did more research.

It sucked here. The lack of communication with my friends was horrible. Of course, I would sneak into Aro's office at night and call Alice, but I missed them all terribly. Thank God Edward was here with me. I might not make it without him.

"Bella?" his voice asked over the sound of water in the shower.

Speak of the devil…

"What are you doing in here?" I asked him.

"I snuck off and got bored. Why the hell do you have a shower and I don't?" He sounded slightly irritated.

"Because I requested one. Aro does anything I ask to keep me comfortable. I'm his prized possession, after all."

"Can I… join you?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I peeked over the shower curtain. Edward was standing there and blushed a little bit. "Come on in."

He started pulling off clothes, letting his shirt fall to the floor, and I had to remind my brain to make my mouth shut. Edward was naked within seconds, so I made room for him in the shower.

I immediately knew where this was going.

Edward pushed me up against the wall, still under the scolding fire of the shower, and began kissing the skin of my neck.

"I've missed you," he growled as he bit lightly.

That was going to leave a mark.

"I've really fucking missed you too," I breathed as I clawed at his shoulders to give me some stability.

"How was your therapy today?" He kissed the spot that he just bit, soothing it immediately.

"I haven't been yet."

Edward's hands trailed lightly over my body with delicate touches, but still had a firm urgency that made me shudder in anticipation.

He was about to say something, but I pulled his face up to mine so that our words were drowned out by our kisses.

Our tongues thrashed together. His swept the inside of my mouth, and I moaned into his lips as the heat got hotter in my lower stomach. I saw the passion in his eyes; it was rare that Edward had this sense of aggressiveness, but I loved it.

"Edward…" I panted as his lips left my lips and went to my shoulder before going lower to the tops of my breast.

"I need you, Bella," he said and lifted me up so that I was pushed against the wall. "I need you…now."

My left nipple was in his mouth in a second, and it hardened just from the thought of Edward inside me. Being with him was like nothing I had ever felt. I didn't know happy emotions like that existed before Edward.

His lips stayed on my chest while his hands kneaded the flesh of my ass. My legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him as close as I could. I felt is raging cock against the inside of my thigh, and I wanted it so badly.

"Edward, please…."

He lifted me up slightly before positioning himself at my entrance. His eyes locked with mine as he spread my wetness with his tip. Just the sensation was enough to almost kill me. I didn't know if he was teasing me on purpose or not, but I was about to combust. And if he didn't stop soon, I was going to take matters into my own hands; literally and figuratively.

"God, you're so fucking wet," he whispered into my neck.

"That might have something to do with the fact that we're in the shower." I huffed, trying to sass him but he wasn't having it.

Edward set me down and turned me around so that my front was pressed against the cool, tiled wall of the shower. His chest was pushing me further into the wall, and his hands gripped my waist tightly.

Oh my…

"Are you saying that I don't make you wet?" Edward asked and moved my hair to one side.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"You… You're…." I couldn't even speak correctly because his hand moved from my hip to position in between my legs I spread for him and he ran his finger along my wet folds.

I shuddered and almost collapsed; it was a good thing he was pushing me against the wall, because I didn't know if I had the strength to stand any longer. The sensations that were running through my body were almost painful.

He rubbed my clit, and I yelped. I was almost ashamed because I'm sure someone could hear me, but he did it again and I couldn't stop myself. I came hard and his fingers weren't even inside of me. Just the feeling of his body against mine, and his touch between my legs, was enough to make me shake with pleasure.

A fingerless orgasm. Is that even possible? I didn't think so before now.

"Answer me," he commanded.

"What was the question?" I whimpered.

"Do. I. Make. You. Wet?" he growled in the sexiest way.

"Yes. God, yes. I don't even know why I try to hide it. I'm always wet for you Edward." My words poured out and I didn't even know what I was saying.

"I think I just made you come without any fingers." He chuckled against my neck and I whimpered again.

I nodded because I couldn't say anything. He was thinking the same thing I was.

He spread my legs a little more and I felt his dick at my entrance, waiting to take me from behind.

"Hurry up, Edward," I snapped.

He pushed himself into me slowly, and I stretched to capacity. Even after all this time, I was still scared that he might not fit all the way, but I wasn't letting him stop for anything. He pushed harder and with one final grunt was in, making me utter sounds that I had only heard on Animal Planet.

"Holy shit, Bella," he said against my skin and pushed deep into my body.

I still couldn't speak because all my senses were cut off from the outside world.

He held my body in place as he thrust harder and faster with each passing second. I felt my walls trembling around his length, and I knew he was close because I could just tell. He moved more frantically behind me; I was gone in the next second. I couldn't hold off any longer.

I screamed his name as I came for the second time and felt Edward's warm seed fill me to the brim. He leaned against me and we both panted like crazy beasts as we rode out our orgasms.

Neither of us moved for a long time. I decided to actually try and move my exhausted limbs when I felt my skin start to shrivel. Edward finally slipped out of me, and I had to hold myself up against the wall so that I didn't collapse.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I asked him and turned off the water.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

We stood there, our bodies dripping and fatigued, but blissfully happy at the same time.

I'm in love.

I couldn't stop the smile, but tried to desperately because I knew Edward would say something about it.

"What are you so happy about?" His long arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me towards him.

"Nothing." I blushed.

"You can't lie to me, Bella."

I decided to just tell him, "I love you."

He chuckled, "Well, I love you too, but I think we already covered that."

"No. I'm in love with you… immensely."

Edward's toothy grin grew wider. "I like to hear that."

"It's so weird that I fell in love with you in a mental institution. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work."

"I had to go crazy to find you and now… I'm crazy in love with you." He laughed at his joke.

"Good one." I kissed him once and then took his hand, leading us both out of the shower.

We dried each other off, and Edward redressed in whatever he had on before. I pulled on my Superman pajamas and a yellow Beatles shirt. Unlike my room at Windemere, this room was horribly plain. I didn't plan on staying here very long so it didn't really matter, but I at least needed a TV. Aro refused that request.

"I just realized that you haven't colored your hair in a while," Edward said as he sat on my bed.

"Oh. I guess I haven't thought about it." I shrugged.

"Do you need help doing it? I'm sure I could read the directions."

"First of all, you're not getting anywhere near my hair, and secondly, I just don't want to anymore." I lied next to him.

"Alright." He let it go.

Truth be told, I didn't really feel the need to dye my hair anymore, and I hadn't for a couple months. Carlisle said I used the colorful strand of my bangs to hide myself. I didn't really know how his theory worked because he never really had time to explain it to me before I was shipped here.

I guess I was… growing up.

Finally!

There was a knock on my door, and I sat straight up in bed.

"You're not supposed to be here." I pushed Edward until he stood up. "You're going to get in trouble."

"Damn it." He ran a hand through his hair before dropping to the floor and crawling under the bed.

"Don't say anything," I whispered to him.

I went to open the door to find Aro leaning against the wall.

"Oh, great." I sighed.

"You have therapy in five minutes. Let's go," he clipped.

"I don't want to go." I crossed my arms like a child.

So much for growing up.

"Bella, now's not the time for this. My schedule is too full to argue and I'm much too tired."

"Well then, leave and we won't have to deal with each other."

His hand connected with my face so quickly that I didn't have time to stop it. My head whipped around and a loud smack sounded off of the walls. I think I tasted blood in my mouth. I prayed that Edward would stay under the bed.

"I told you that it was time to go." Aro's eyes flared with fire and made me shudder with fear, but I wasn't letting him get away with that.

I pulled my hand back and slapped him so hard, his whole face turned red. I was sure there would be a welt in a couple of hours. Aro's hair fell in front of his face, and his breathing came out harsher.

This is how our relationship worked. His bark was always worse than his bite so if you just put him in his place, he'd shut up for a couple days. He would slap me and I would slap him back. It was a sick, copasetic way of life.

He didn't say anything, but grabbed me roughly and pulled from the room. He started dragging me down the hallway aggressively.

"Will you slow the fuck down?" I ripped my arm from his grasp and stopped walking.

"Isabella Swan, if I have to drug you up then I will, but you're having this therapy session," Aro roared.

"Keep your voice down or the nurse might start to question your authority." I walked passed him and down the hall. "What would they think if one of your patients had the balls to put you in your place?"

My hand was on the doorknob of his office.

"Oh, we won't have therapy in there today, Bella." He had seemed to calm down considerably and placed his hand lightly on the small of my back, guiding me to another door.

"What's this?" I asked, confused.

"Just be patient."

He opened the door and pushed me inside.

There was just a small chair and nothing else. It looked like one of those cop interrogation rooms on TV, complete with a one-way mirror on one wall of the room.

"What's going on?" I turned around, but I was alone.

This felt very wrong.

I sat in the chair in the middle of the room with an unwavering stare on the mirror. I wasn't going to let my discomfort show because that's what he wanted. Aro liked to watch me suffer. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction this time.

I must have waited at least fifteen minutes and my mind started to wander. My mouth began to crave chocolate, and my foot wouldn't stop bouncing. I hated to sit still for anything, but I wasn't moving from this seat.

I started counting just for something to do and when I got to ninety-one, the door opened behind me.

In the mirror, I saw the most horrid figure walking towards me.

My heart took off and started beating at an unhealthy pace ,even though I tried not to show it. My whole body erupted in fire from his proximity and sweat started to collect on my brow. I couldn't breathe because my throat closed up.

The man had bright blonde hair that shone in the light of the room and deep set brown eyes, which looked black to me—they always had. His body was covered in a nice suit and his face seemed so much fatter than I remembered. He had obviously been eating well. Of course he had. There were healed burn marks over his skin, evidence of my hatched attempted murder, which didn't go as I had planned.

"Bella, I think you know who this is." Aro came into the room as well.

I tried to speak, but couldn't. It was all I could do to get some air into my lungs. I don't think I had the motor functions for anything else.

"Hello, Pet." His voice was as cold as it had always been, but deeper this time, with more authority.

My mind started flashing back to those horrible scenes in the basement that I had tried to put behind me. All of his disgusting touches, and unsightly bite marks, and all the pain I went through for all those years. I had put them behind me, but they were flooding back like a dam had cracked.

I always imagined what I would do if I ever saw him again. I had so much I wanted to say and I had a well-rehearsed speech that was memorized, but at this moment, nothing came to mind.

I stood up from my chair with shaky legs and backed into the opposite wall.

"Bella, we're going to try something new today." Aro stood in front of me, blocking my view. "I figure that you've been with me for…too long to count, but I want to try something."

"You want to try something?" My voice cracked and I felt warm tears on my checks. "You brought Him here? What kind of a doctor are you?"

"I'm helping you. This is called immersion. It's used a lot in treating phobias. You know this; I've explained it to you many times."

"This is not the same thing!" I was sobbing so hard now that my voice barely worked.

"It's to help." Aro had a grin on his face that made him look like a fuck-ugly Cheshire cat. "I'll leave you two alone."

"No!" I grabbed a hold of his doctor's coat. "Please don't leave me."

Aro leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Maybe you should have thought twice about slapping me." He ripped his coat from my hands, and then strode out of the door, slamming it behind him.

I stayed, weeping on the floor, while Sir stood over me, probably enjoying what he saw. I silently begged for someone to save me. I called for Edward, my dad, a nurse; someone—anyone.

"I've missed you, Pet." I felt his cold hand on the back of my head, patting me like a dog. "Don't be scared."

I crawled away from him pathetically. "Don't touch me."

I wanted to appear strong and I wanted to say so much to this bastard, but nothing came to my mind.

"You're going to make me very angry in a minute. I'm here to help you." He followed me around while I tried to find an exit, still on the floor.

"Why are you here?" I gave up, lying on the ground, exhausted. "Please just leave me alone."

"I hopped on a plane and got right down here. I wanted to know if you still remembered me, it's been… years."

I sat up and look him dead in the eyes, which burned holes into my flesh, "I'm not scared of you."

"Obviously." He chuckled. "All of this is just an act?"

"Get away from me." I spit in his face, finally finding the courage to retaliate.

He calmly wiped his face off and then glared at me. His hand reached out and grasped my throat, clutching strongly. "I have learned over the years that we've been apart that my patience is incredibly short."

"You just found that out?" I gasped for air.

"Don't test me, Isabella. I'm very angry right now." He smashed my head into the wall and I immediately blacked out.

I was saddened and frightened and completely confused, but above all else, I was mad…in myself. I had grown so much in the past couple of years. I could go to sleep without the nightmares, but suddenly, they were all back.

A/N:

Surprise, surprise! Bella POV and a twist at the end. I'm super evil, I know, but it had to be done. You knew something like this was coming. I can't say more. I wish I could, but I dont want to spoil it.

Sorry for the later updates with this. It's not pre-written and with finals, it's hard to find time to sit down for more than an hour. I will do better though. Promise.

As always, thanks to suzie55 and JennyB0719 for the work they do. I would be nothing without them.