A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)
Guest-You're right.:) Elsa just isn't very patient with herself, that's all.
Elsa Tomago-Yep, Elsa will be fine.:) As far as Diane is concerned...she herself has good intentions, but she's been associated with bad people. More on that later! I think Anna's smart; she just doesn't enjoy things like that. It doesn't mean she can't...she just doesn't like it.:P
FluffyKitten-Okay, the U.S. president in this story can be whoever you want him to be. I have no desire to portray real-life political figures in my story (aside from mentioning a dead one from a hundred years ago or something perhaps) because I don't want to be worrying about portraying them incorrectly. If he comes off as Obama to you, that's fine, but in my mind he is just an OC. :) Again, more on WHY people in the US believe Elsa is real later. Frozen itself is still the animated film we know (hence why Elsa wanted to know why she and Anna were so skinny and had giant eyes, lol). Because Elsa herself IS slender and she thinks she has big eyes, but she still wouldn't look exactly like her animated self! She would be sick. :P Glad you liked Elsa's coded messages! Yes, that is the only magic Anna can do.:) About 150 years, more or less... ;) I like writing action scenes when Elsa actually fights back (and knows what she's doing) because she would be nearly invincible if she didn't get upset! (More on Elsa's fighting capabilities soon.:)) It is modern day, BUT Arendelle is its movie self with the 1800s technology. That's why Elsa gets so fascinated with any sort of modern technology. And...I think you know what I'm going to say by now...MORE ON THAT LATER, lol... :P :)
Guest-Next Dear Elsa chapter is coming up!
readeronly76-Thank you!:)
IndyGirl89-I just want to say thank you for the many reviews you've left on all my stories recently.:) And yes, Elsa can sort of hear spider bites...or rather, she can get rid of the venom so it'll heal faster and stuff.
Olivia O-Neil-The magic ice in the attic is explained in this chapter.:) Me too, lol. Again, Elsa was okay inside with the whole issue this time because it was some random stranger threatening her, not Anna or someone else close to her. And actually successfully taking care of something almost entirely on her own made her a little more self-confident, too.:)
moohamquest-Yep! Thank you:)
orang biasa-Now that you mention it, I think I agree, although I didn't really do the extra 'tenseness' on purpose. :P Yes, the man is (was) Diane's boss. Elsa actually made a good prediction already, but she threw it out because she thought she was being paranoid. (Go back and rethink your thoughts, Elsa! This time you were not being overly suspicious. :) ) Good grief no, I am not writing about the illuminati or the masons or whatnot. Yikes. I have no idea how much of that is true or paranoid legend, so...yeah. No. :P That being said, something IS going on that actually has little to do with Elsa herself. She's on the outside of something looking in this time, and it'll give her and the rest of our characters a better POV than the people who NEED to figure out what's going on. Remember, Elsa can and will fight back if her friends and family or innocents she doesn't know are in danger. Oscar outright tells Elsa he can't/won't use Anna to hurt her because that gives her full reason to fight back. This means that Elsa needs to be more careful, yes, but it also means that the mysterious bad guy(s) have nothing to threaten her with that could hurt her emotionally again. No, I do not speak/write Norwegian. I wish I did! :P That's Elsa's native language, so she prefers it if at all possible, and she knows the average American won't understand it. Ingrid is a long-ago ancestor, and more about her in this chapter.:) And no, you didn't offend me at all.:)
On to the story!
By the time Elsa made it to Arendelle via her impenetrable ice submarine, it was dark. She dearly hoped Anna was home in the castle safe, not gallivanting off somewhere trying to find her or something. And she was tired. Very, very tired. Maybe she would get a good night's sleep in her own bed tonight before dealing with whatever was going on. Once she was on the shore, she dissolved the submarine and limped slowly toward the castle gate. Come on, Elsa, you're almost home.
The guard at the gate immediately recognized Elsa and let her into the courtyard. "Welcome home, Queen Elsa," he called.
"Thank you," Elsa replied, happy to be speaking her own language again after speaking mostly just English for the past couple days. She managed to get herself to the front steps before just collapsing. She was so, so tired-from what, she didn't know. Maybe it was because she was hurt.
The guard hesitated before leaving his post, making sure the gate was locked. "Queen Elsa?" He quickly scooped Elsa up and carried her inside, handing her to Gerda before returning to his post. "I'm not sure what happened to her, ma'am. Think she might be just really exhausted."
Gerda thanked the guard and then immediately carried Elsa upstairs to her room. Elsa's probably just exhausted. She's all scraped up, but Kai already explained what happened, and she seems fine otherwise. "I don't know what happened to you after Kai had to leave, Miss Elsa, but you're safe at home now," she said quietly.
Elsa just blinked up at Gerda tiredly, faint dark circles beneath her blue eyes. "Home?" she mumbled hopefully.
"Yes, Miss Elsa, you're home," Gerda assured her.
Elsa relaxed and smiled at Gerda. "I got home by myself. And I tore up all that mean ol' Oscar's IDs," she informed Gerda. She seemed to wake up a bit more as Gerda laid her down on her bed. "Gerda, I…I defended myself. D'you think Anna will be p-proud of m-me?" Elsa asked softly. "Even though things went wrong?" I hope so. I got home by myself. I'm not helpless, even though I'm…me. Elsa's blue eyes were bright with tears; she so wanted to make Anna proud of her and not all…worried about her, or feeling bad for her or whatever else.
"Oh, Miss Elsa, I'm sure she will be," Gerda assured Elsa, gently stroking her platinum hair. "For whatever it's worth, I'm proud of you. You did a good job. I saw the note you sent your sister. Careful coding; backup plans in case you didn't get back quick enough. Yes, Miss Elsa, I'd say you did a very good job. I'd just like to ask you one thing, though. Why is your whole torso hard as a rock? And stiff?"
Elsa's tired eyes twinkled at that. "Bulletproof ice. Not very comfortable, but I needed it. I got shot at point-blank range and I was perfectly fine, just shaken." She dispelled her armor and sighed in relief. While the ice had done its job and protected her, it had not been comfortable. She would have to come up with a better design next time.
Gerda frowned, more than a little worried about how Elsa talked about being shot like it was no big deal. Bulletproof ice or not, whoever had done that could have ended up hitting her somewhere she hadn't armored with her ice. Elsa's ice might be bulletproof, but her body was not. "I do wonder if you could somehow make bulletproof vests for our guards and soldiers and the like. That would be very, very useful in a fight," she said finally. "Perhaps impenetrable ice filings between two pieces of fabric or something, I don't know, since you said what you made for yourself wasn't comfortable."
Elsa smiled at that. "I think that I could try to make something like that, but I'd need your help."
A minute later, Anna ran into the room, her dress dripping wet from practicing directing her temporary water powers with everyone else in the ballroom. "Kai said you were back, Elsa! I'm so glad you're home!" she said happily.
Elsa slowly sat up and hugged her little sister as tightly as she could, not caring that Anna was getting her, the comforter, and the floor all wet. "You figured out my message," she whispered. Anna is okay. She's fine. I did not get back too late to help. We just need to help Ms. Diane search for any of those weird tracking things on her belongings and then destroy it if/when we find one. "Anna, I've got to go to Ms. Diane's house-there are these weird tracking things and bad people could find her and-"
"Elsa, you're hurt. You need to sleep now," Anna interrupted, frowning as she gently touched the bandage on her sister's temple. "There are bad scrapes and stuff all over you!" she exclaimed, scowling at Elsa's right arm. "And that, what is that?!" Anna asked, pointing at Elsa's sprained wrist. "And you just look tired besides!"
"Didn't Kai tell you? We got in a car accident and my side of the vehicle got all smashed. I think I'm lucky I didn't get hurt worse. Really, Anna, it looks worse than it is, I promise," Elsa tried to reassure Anna. "There's nothing broken, just nasty bruises and scrapes and a sprained wrist. I'm fine. Honestly." She paused before adding, "I know they have more technology things there, but I did not like being in that hospital at all. There are these machine devices that measure your pulse and these tube things called IVs that give you medicine right into your arm and other things like that and they make weird little noises constantly and you can't sleep."
This made Anna frown again. "First, you always say you're fine even when you aren't, so I don't entirely believe you. And while I'm glad there were doctor people that helped you, I don't like it that you couldn't sleep well there. So go to sleep now," she replied firmly.
"Anna, I can't. I am tired, very, very tired, honestly, but I've got to go warn Ms. Diane and help her go through her things to make sure both her-and us, for that matter-are safe from those strange tracking things. I…I think I need some help?" Elsa's voice sounded slightly questioning, as if she weren't sure one way or the other. Elsa slowly sat up, and Anna quickly put her arm around her shoulders and helped her stand up. "Thank you, Anna," she said quietly. Elsa, get yourself together. Tough luck that you're tired. Anna will help you.
Anna bit her lip as she helped Elsa walk out of her room and start down the hall. Every step was a bit tentative, and Anna thought Elsa might just curl up right there on the floor and go to sleep if Anna hadn't been helping her. "Elsa, make a sled or something and I'll pull you instead. You seem really tired. Too tired to be walking around," Anna told her, figuring Elsa would probably much prefer that over being carried or something.
Sure enough, the second the icy sled (filled with soft powdery snow) formed, Elsa almost instantly fell asleep curled up in the snow. Anna frowned before nudging her sister's shoulder gently. "Elsa? Elsa, I can't operate your ice-elevator, remember? And…" Anna looked to Gerda for help. "Gerda, what am I s'posed to do? I can't go take care of this by myself 'cause I don't know what I'm looking for, and Elsa's just plain too tired to do anything…"
Gerda shook her head and just picked a sleeping Elsa up. "Well, it doesn't matter whether you know or not, because your sister is going to be near useless to help at the moment anyway. She's too tired, and I can hardly blame her. If you don't mind, I'll just go tuck Miss Elsa into bed in your room since you got all the sheets all wet in her own. You could take Kai, Kristoff and Nikoleta with you to Ms. Diane's and send Anikka and Eliot back upstairs. I'll babysit them and keep an eye on Miss Elsa too. I imagine Ms. Diane knows what to be looking for. Take that book about such things with you. It's a bit bent up and the like, but still perfectly readable." Gerda thought for a moment before adding, "It may not be a good idea to let Ms. Diane know about the temporary water powers, so perhaps all of you change out of those wet clothes first."
Elsa awoke very, very early in the morning sandwiched between Anikka and Anna, both of them hugging her tightly. The pressure made her bruised ribs hurt, but all the same, it made her feel happy and content and just…safe. They didn't think she was some inhuman creature and want to run experiments on her or use her for a weapon. They were just holding her. She remembered how Katie had treated her and hoped she might be able to see the little girl again someday. She remembered the older lady that had given her the light denim jacket because she'd thought Elsa was cold. That lady wouldn't have hurt her if she'd figured out who she was, either. She was sure of it. I defended myself when I needed to, too. I really did. Was…was that okay?
Elsa carefully turned on her side and put her arm around Anikka before scooting closer to Anna. She was safe at home now. If she had to fight to protect her country and the people in it, it would be with her family and friends by her side. She would not go back to the United States, not ever. She would wait here, and if anyone wanted a fight, then so be it. If Anna had not managed to destroy the tracking things without her help, then she would leave them be. Because she had something no one else would have, and whether that was good or bad, it could not be taken from her. So there.
It was just…she wanted so dearly to just be…normal. She didn't want her position or her magic or her weak leg or anything else about herself. She wanted a chance to just be Elsa. Not Nicolette, not Queen Elsa, not a…a defective freak. Sure, she knew 'normal' should be all of those things before, but Anna fit in with everyone and she was still able to just be herself. 'Real' Anna fit in. 'Real' Elsa did not, and never would. I'm jealous. Not a lot, but a little, Elsa thought to herself, feeling bad because she'd admitted that to herself. What would Anna think?! What would anyone think?! She had no right to feel like that, none at all.
Anna jerked awake when she felt Elsa stirring beside her. "Hey, Elsa, are you ok?" she asked quietly. She lit the kerosene lamp on her nightstand so they could both see. Anna frowned when she saw Elsa's expression. There were hurt tears in her eyes, and yet she seemed frustrated and angry. "What's wrong? D'you need to talk, or do you just need a great big hug 'til you feel better?"
Elsa struggled with herself for a minute before finally blurting, "You'll hate me if I explain myself. It's stupid."
"No, I won't, and you know it." An idea popped into Anna's head, and she smiled. "Elsa, you look a lot less tired now, and there's a surprise I wanna show you anyways. Something I wanna tell you, too. Would you like to see and hear it now?"
Elsa hesitated before nodding. "What about Anikka, though?"
"I'll take her to Nikoleta's room. She can stay in there. You stay here. I'll be right back."
"I promise I won't let you run into anything," Anna said a few minutes later as she took her sister by the hand. "Don't open your eyes 'til I say you can. And no peeking!"
Elsa yelped as she tripped over something in the middle of Anna's floor and nearly fell. She didn't open her eyes, but she clutched Anna's hand tighter. "Can't I just close my eyes when we get to wherever you're taking me?" she asked a little while later. "I don't like worrying I'm going to trip over something every second."
Anna huffed a bit, but she agreed. "I guess you'd figure out where we were going the second we got…here," she said.
"The attic?" Elsa carefully started up the steep stairs into the attic, glad that Anna was behind her. Anna wouldn't let her fall. Sure enough, a second later Elsa's braced leg missed the next step, and she scrunched her eyes shut, trying not to get mad or upset at herself. Elsa, it's been ages since you've been that way. Get used to it. You are not good at stairs and that's that.
"There's just a few more, Elsa," Anna told her. "You can do it. I know you can."
Soon both girls were in the attic, and Elsa shut her eyes per Anna's request. Elsa gasped when she touched what Anna had put in her hands. "A-Anna, I…I d-don't know what this is, b-but…it's…it's…it's…" she stuttered in surprise. This is derived from someone else's ice magic. I can feel it! She ran a finger over the old ice 'glass pane' in her lap, subconsciously tracing out her own signature snowflake. Even with her eyes still shut, Elsa saw the tremendously bright flash and both felt and heard the familiar cr-rackle her own ice magic made. Elsa couldn't keep her eyes shut any longer; she had to look.
Anna just sat figuratively frozen at what had just happened, clutching one hand to her chest. For a split second, she'd been touching the old magic ice at the same time as Elsa, and that had been enough to give her hand a slight 'cold burn'. Whatever had happened, whatever these were for, it was something for Elsa-or another natural ice mage-and no one else. Anna was suddenly sure that her slight, ever so slight, ability to detect the ice powers that ran in her family had protected her from being badly hurt from touching the old ice when it had been 'activated'.
Elsa just stared at the thing in her lap, her blue eyes wide. It's something of Ingrid's. I know it is. "Anna, I…" Elsa's gaze flitted to the words etched in the old ice-written clearly in it, just like she could do herself. 'I do not even know why I've been doing this. Who will ever even be able to read it? Another poor freak descendant of mine years and years from now? I wouldn't want to wish this on anyone, except perhaps my worst enemy. This cell is miserable. I chose to build it myself, but I cannot live here forever. I will do it soon, and I will not fail this time. There is no point any longer; Eystein is old enough now to take over himself. He is all I have left now. Wherever you are, Celeritas, Stormr, I hope I will see you again. I cannot take back what I did, but I think of you every day.' Elsa dropped the ice and scrambled backwards away from it as she burst into tears. "Anna, Ingrid…she…she killed two people she cared about a-and…and she wrote she was going to…t-to kill herself soon, and…"
Anna just put her arms around Elsa and hugged her close. What if sharing what we found with Elsa wasn't a good idea? Seems like all it's done is made her upset. Wait…of course I had to share it with her. Elsa deserves to know about her family just as much as I do, all the more so since Ingrid had magic, just like her. "Elsa, why don't we try to put the old ice panes of magic in order tomorrow? I got a happier thing to share with you, and you still need to tell me why you were all mad and upset before we came up here."
"It's dumb," Elsa replied softly as she slowly stood up and looked at the pile of 'window panes' back on the shelf. The oldest one is probably on the bottom in the far back… She carefully slid the pane she wanted out and sat back down on the floor next to Anna, tracing her snowflake out as she did so to reveal the writing. "Here, let's read together instead."
"Can I pretty please tell you what I wanted to tell you first?" Anna begged, her blue-green eyes sparkling excitedly. Elsa nodded, so Anna went on, "I have got a trace of magic of my own! We all found those old ice panes up here while you were gone-Eliot knocked some down by accident and we all thought it was weird that they didn't break-but nobody knew they were magic. Nobody but me! I could feel it, Elsa. So I'm…I'm a little bit like you," she finished happily. "I think it's just that I can sense the ice magic that runs in our family, though. Not other magic. I wonder if Rapunzel's magic would count as 'family'? I dunno."
But instead of smiling or something else like that, Elsa's whole countenance seemed to crumple. Why would she want to be like me? If what Anna's saying is true-and I do believe her-she's delighted that she's not really 'normal'. Why can't I just be happy the way I am? That's selfish. Anna would probably be thrilled if she thought she might have ice powers like me.
Anna was puzzled by Elsa's reaction; she'd figured Elsa would be happy to know she wasn't the only one, even if Anna's 'magic' was next to nothing. "Elsa, you are acting very weird," Anna said after a moment. "Very un-Elsa-like. What is wrong? I shan't leave you alone about it 'til you tell me. And I promise I won't get mad at you or think you're bad or stupid or anything else."
"Anna, I…" Just tell her, Elsa. You can trust Anna. Anna is not going to hate you for it. "I feel jealous of you," she blurted, instantly regretting saying that. It made her sound like a selfish brat. That was rotten. "I'm sorry…"
To Elsa's surprise, Anna just began laughing as she gave her sister a reassuring smile. "Oh, Elsa, is that all?! Why would I think bad of you for that? You're human, remember? Feeling jealous of someone or something is normal. Not good, of course, but normal. But why, Elsa? That's my question. I just don't understand why you'd be-" Anna abruptly cut herself off, suddenly realizing why Elsa might feel that way. When she saw Elsa's reaction right then, she immediately knew her realization was right. Elsa's blue eyes were filled with tears, and she had scooted away further into the eerie shadows of the attic.
I don't have any reason to feel this way. I don't. I just don't. I'm not supposed to be treated like a normal girl my age, because I'm not. I can't be jealous of Anna for being able to be like any other girl near our ages. All Elsa could think of was the way her parents had treated her for so long. She genuinely didn't hold a grudge toward them for it, but it still made her upset and she couldn't help thinking that they'd managed to treat Anna properly. Just not her. She was the problem, not them. And she could never be 'normal', never ever, no matter how hard she tried. "It's not even my magic so much, really…it's…it's other stupid things like not being able to socialize properly and my leg and other things like that," she said softly. "I…I want to be able to be me and still…fit in. Like you do."
Anna frowned and tugged Elsa back into the lighted part of the attic. "First, I think it's about time you felt a bit selfish about something. That means you're getting better inside, because you have a bit more self-worth whether you think so or not. So there," she said firmly. "I didn't say it was a good thing to feel like that-it's bad-but I don't think it makes you a horrible person or something. It's normal. Does that make sense…?" Anna wasn't entirely sure how to help, because it was kind of complicated. Feeling a little selfish and jealous in of itself were bad things, but they were normal. Elsa was a human girl just like her; she was supposed to feel like that sometimes. In fact, Anna was honestly glad Elsa said that because that meant she wasn't considering herself completely worthless anymore.
Except Elsa messed up this train of thought by saying just then, "But I shouldn't feel like that. I'm…I'm not worth anything better than what Papa gave me. I…I'm messed up." She had her arms wrapped around her middle hugging herself, her eyes cast down deep in thought. I don't understand, Anna. I'm bad for feeling like that, but I'm not a terrible person or something? I feel stupid for not understanding. I don't even understand how I feel in the first place; it doesn't make any sense.
Anna sighed. "That is very, very stupid and wrong, Elsa, and you know it! You can't let Dad's actions when we were little make you think like that. You can't. Elsa. Elsa, look at me." She scowled when Elsa wouldn't meet her eyes and just hugged her tightly instead. "What Dad did to you was wrong, and I think deep inside you know that and don't want to admit it because he's our father and you still love him very much." And 'cause he treated Elsa like dirt as a child and she grew up like that. I can't erase that. Anna's eyes filled with angry tears as she clutched Elsa close. If Elsa had grown up being treated properly, maybe she wouldn't be jealous of her little sister being able to be herself and be 'normal', because she wouldn't consider herself messed up in the first place. She abruptly pushed Elsa away and then dragged her to her feet. "You know what? You are messed up, if you look at it a certain-stupid!-way. You are not supposed to have those nasty panicking episodes; you are not supposed to have a weak leg; you are not supposed to have trouble with your magic. But you know what else? People who matter don't care! And the 'normal' thing depends on your definition of the dumb word, 'kay? According to the dictionary definition, you are not normal. Neither am I, or Rapunzel, or Eliot, or your friend Nikoleta. I don't think anyone is 'normal' according to the dictionary definition. I think people force themselves to be dictionary-normal and they really aren't. 'Normal' should be being yourself, magic, emotional issues, bad leg, and all. Those things don't define you. You know that in your head, but I don't think your heart does." Anna paused for a second before asking hesitantly, "Elsa, why do you dislike yourself so much in the first place? I know Dad made you like that, but you've got your own brain, and you're smart. Why…why can't you separate Dad's mean, stupid opinions from yours? What do you think of when you first think about just plain Elsa? Not what she's supposed to be, what she is?"
Elsa thought for a long time before answering. She honestly agreed with Anna's opinions on the whole 'normal' thing, but she couldn't explain herself. When she really considered it, what she thought of when she thought of 'just plain Elsa' was a young girl nicknamed the Snow Queen that happened to have emotional problems, loved her family and her people very much, hated socializing, liked reading, and would happily enjoy a good thrill, assuming it was a calculated risk and not something dangerously stupid. Wait a second…I didn't think about horrible things about me. And I didn't think about my bad leg at all. I did think about my magic and those…issues, but just as a characteristic, just like anything else… "I think…I think maybe I don't know how," she said slowly. "Papa's…not good opinions are what I grew up with, so I guess maybe I just fall back on them? I'm not sure…Anna, I…I…oh, I don't know how to put this. I guess…even though it'll be a year since I got you back and learned-relearned-the key to controlling my powers on my birthday in a little over a month, it's still really hard for me to believe everything isn't going to just go back the way it was and it's not just some crazy dream. It feels like it's too good to be real or true. I think…I think that might be why the bad events that have happened since then still hurt…I don't know. That prob'ly sounds stupid…" Elsa's voice trailed off, unsure what else to say. I confuse myself. I've probably confused Anna, too.
"One good year isn't anywhere near enough to outweigh thirteen awful ones, for one thing. And we've had a lot of ups and downs in that one year, too! You haven't had a chance to just relax and heal inside; you've just gotten tossed into one crazy thing after another," Anna pointed out.
"But I shouldn't let things that aren't my or your or anyone else's fault affect me! Like that cave incident? I still feel a bit scared of being stuck somewhere without my brace so I can't walk. I'm not particularly freaking out every second about the possibility like I did before, but still. And…and I know you don't hate me and you won't get rid of me, but…" Elsa took a deep breath before finishing, "…but sometimes I worry about the idea that you might not want me anymore. That you might just take care of stupid, broken Elsa just because you think you're s-supposed t-to." Tears ran down Elsa's cheeks, and she couldn't bring herself to meet Anna's eyes. "I-I…I'd understand that. It…it would just hurt." A lot. I don't know what I would do. Elsa felt frost crawling up her arms, and tiny snowflakes floated around her.
"Elsa, I get why you might think that, but it's not true. I wouldn't trade you for anything, whether I was 'supposed' to take care of you or not. You're my best friend. If I didn't want you, why would I spend time with you in the first place? If I was tired of you or something, I could tell a servant to go 'bother with you'. You'd still be being taken care of, so I'd be doing what I was 'supposed to'. No, no, no, Elsa, I like to 'bother with you'. 'Cause you're my big sister and my best friend. Taking care of each other when you don't have to is what friends do. So there." Anna paused before adding, "Gerda told me what you did to get back, Elsa. I'm very proud of you. I knew you were all right because of the temporary magic water you sent me, but I was still worried. Just less so." She suddenly remembered what Elsa had said before, that poisoned-Anna's words were probably based in truth, and her stomach twisted. She sighed as she took Elsa by the hand. "The rottenest things I've EVER thought about you were when I was fairly little. Maybe nine or so. Gerda kept spending her salary on things for you, and I got really mad and told her you were probably taking advantage of her somehow and that Mom and Dad oughta lock you up for being bad and mean and ignoring me. I remember Gerda actually just left and didn't say anything and she was crying. Usually she'd scold me if I was naughty. Later she brought me a little wooden snowflake puzzle and said I could be mad at her if I wanted but to please keep talking to you." Anna was crying as she finished, "She said you were hurting and needed help no one was giving." She could feel Elsa's hand shaking; the older girl was trembling all over and she looked terrified. Why did I tell Elsa that? I wanted her to know the truth, but… "Elsa, are…are you going to be all right?" Anna asked hesitantly.
"N...n-no…" Elsa just shook her head and pulled her hand away before heading for the attic steps and scrambling down as fast as she could. A few stairs before the bottom, she slipped and fell, and immediately pulled herself to her feet, knowing Anna would just follow her. Blinded by tears, she put up a wall of snow to slow Anna down and just limped away as fast as she could. I don't even know where I'm going. What am I doing?
Anna called for Elsa to wait, but the older girl wasn't listening. She dug through the snow as fast as she could, but by the time Anna had gotten into the upstairs hallway, Elsa was nowhere in sight. And there were no ice footprints to show where Elsa had gone, either. For the first time in her life, Anna wished Elsa had lost control when she was upset. She had to find Elsa. She had to. Elsa was really, really upset. What if she hurts herself or something and I can't find her? On instinct, Anna closed her eyes and concentrated on the awful magic sensation inside her that she knew was from Elsa's emotions. Well, she's terrified. And hurt. And upset. And…wait. The air in the hallway up here is cooler than it should be. I can't detect exact temperatures like Elsa can, but I can sense general changes that shouldn't be there. Duh.
With that thought, Anna set off down the hall, checking every room as she went, even though she was sure Elsa wasn't there. "Elsa, please be ok," she muttered aloud. Anna started downstairs and followed the fading 'trail' of cold air to…the stairs down into the dungeons? This can't be right! Why would Elsa come down here?! She hesitated before pushing the door open and heading down the steps. There was no guard down here, except for in front of Hans's cell, and that was only one. Anna frowned and took a deep breath before marching up to the guard, clutching her candle tightly. "Has there been any commotion down here in the last few minutes?" she asked.
The guard looked apologetic and a bit frightened. "No," he blurted slightly too quickly, but Anna didn't notice.
Anna scowled and marched off. "That was not helpful!" she exclaimed. Her blue-green eyes grew big when she heard muffled cries from somewhere down the corridor, and she took off running. There wasn't supposed to be anyone down here but Hans, Espen, and the guard. That crying sounded suspiciously like Elsa. I know where Elsa is. Without hesitation, Anna chose the door to the cell where Elsa had been trapped before and tried to push it open, but it was…stuck? Why was the door stuck?! When she peeked through the bars on the door, she could see Elsa curled up in the corner with her knees pulled to her chest, rocking back and forth slightly as she continued crying. Elsa's blue slippers and her brace lay discarded on the dirty stone floor beside her. Wait…I can't go in there. I'll make it worse. I gotta go get Gerda. She'd help. Elsa came down here 'cause I made her think it was where she belonged, I know that's why.
All Elsa could think of was what Anna had told her upstairs. She clearly remembered Gerda doing that; it had been shortly after her parents had seemingly completely given up on her when she was twelve and her magic had abruptly grown stronger very quickly. Gerda had gone and bought her books and toys and clips for her hair and other things like that after twelve-year-old Elsa had completely shut down all verbal contact for days, hoping the gestures might get through to Elsa where words hadn't. Elsa's twelve-year-old self had spent hours and hours curled up on her bed shaking and trying unsuccessfully not to cry, ice crawling all over the wall in the process. She remembered Anna saying some nasty things one day, now that Anna had reminded her of it; present-Elsa had completely forgotten. She was nine. She didn't mean it. Elsa, stop crying. That's actually a good explanation. It should make you feel better that you know where those horrible things poisoned-Anna said came from, not worse. What is wrong with you?
And…why did Gerda do that for me? Although a lot of that time was just a sad and frightened blur to Elsa now, she could remember Gerda staying with her in her room all the time for about a week or so, not even leaving to go get meals. Gerda had made Kai bring food for both herself and Elsa to the room, and then been very upset when twelve-year-old Elsa couldn't bring herself to eat anything or do her lessons or even get up. Between being terrified and upset about her magic growing stronger and knowing Anna was mad at her, she hadn't been able to function at all until her magic had quieted down slightly, if she could even call it that. She remembered Gerda sitting in a chair somewhat near her bed-just not too close-and refusing to leave her alone. Gerda had draped several warm blankets over her, hoping the warmth might help her magic calm down. Elsa hadn't even been able to feel it. Looking back now, Elsa knew the blankets hadn't helped at all; it was Gerda's love and kindness toward her that had helped her 'snap out of it', even if it wasn't even close to fixing her. She wished her younger self hadn't been so stupid…she should have realized that love was the answer then.
I am not making Gerda have to do that sort of thing for me ever again. That is not her job. And Anna is SUPPOSED to be mean to me once in awhile. So there, stupid paranoid Elsa. That does not mean she hates you or doesn't want you or anything else like that. Get up and go upstairs. Now. Elsa scowled as she glanced at her bad leg. Gerda spent far too much time trying to mend her, whether it was physical things like her leg or internal things like emotions she didn't know how to deal with. Gerda had always taken care of her…even when no one else even could. She would not make Gerda do that any more than she had already. With that thought, Elsa wiped her tears away and then dragged herself to her feet determinedly. Keeping one hand on the stone wall to steady herself, she quickly iced over the floor and then the walls and ceiling with opaque blue ice. She had destroyed those horrible shackles months ago; now she would get rid of every sign of what this place had been to her. She knew exactly what she was going to do with this cell-no, room. It was just a room now. A rather pretty room at that, with shining ice on the walls.
A moment later, there were shimmering ice-curtains over the window, hiding the bars behind it. Soft snow covered the stone 'bed' on one side of the room, and she awkwardly hopped over to it and flopped down in the snow. Elsa's redecorating had turned the old nasty, lonely cell into a cozy and cool retreat. This place cannot hurt me anymore. So there. When she stood up again and tried to hop back over to where she'd left her brace and her slippers, she lost her balance and fell, but this time it didn't bother her or scare her. She just strapped the brace back on her leg and slipped her slippers back on before leaving the room, making sure to leave the ugly cell door alone so no one would suspect what she had done. It would be her secret, at least for now.
A/N: Yay, Elsa's back home :)
For anyone that doesn't know/figured out already, Ingrid is the girls' great-great-great grandmother, who lived about 150 or so years before them.:)
Next chapter coming soon!