AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Okay so here is another chapter and I think you guys will love/hate it. We start with Kate, and then the POV eventually makes it to the person we all miss and love…

WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.

ENJOY!

xxxx

Kate's POV

Everything seemed so much quieter without Lana around. There were things I hadn't told anyone about when I got here that Lana had taken with her to her grave and I was starting to feel…lonely. I couldn't trust Annie with them and I didn't have Kalli or Kat with me, so I felt like there were things that I couldn't really do anymore. I just…I just wanted her back because on top of it all, Sam needed her and while he had me, it just wasn't the same as having your best friend around.

"You want some tuna, Kate?" Annie asked me.

I looked up and nodded. "Um…sure…"

"It's the only thing Dean seems to eat, because Lana never ate it. He won't drink coffee, or milk, or juice, but he'll drink water. He won't eat ice cream, or pasta, or anything substantial, or touch candy. The only thing he'll eat is tuna—which Lana ate, just not around him so he doesn't know. Don't tell him though! Otherwise he won't eat anything, and he'll starve to death." Annie said dismally, handing me a plate with a tuna sandwich on it.

I smiled at her. "We need to do something other than let him sit in that room all day."

"I know, but I'm plum out of ideas." Annie agreed, nodding her head vigorously. "He doesn't even want to see Kaydee and Minah because they remind him of how much Lana loved them and wanted kids of her own, and yeah…something needs to be done."

"How much past do you and Annie have?" Sam asked suddenly.

I looked up as he walked into the room and I shrugged a little because the question had come out of nowhere and I didn't know how to answer it. I mean where was Sam even going with this, and why? Wasn't it more important for us to focus on Dean and how he was wasting away up in Lana's room doing…well nothing?

"Uh…not much," I explained to him. "I mean, Annie and Kat have more past than anyone because while she and Kat got to see each other even though Lana thought Annie was gone, I hunted more than I stayed at home with the family."

Annie nodded slowly. "That's why I went back to stay with them for a bit—I missed Kat. She's only a year younger than me."

"I have the feeling you both know things that you aren't telling me," Sam said slowly. "I mean you don't have to tell me, but…I dunno…I'm just out of the loop."

"Well, Sammy, you're just going to have to be nice, and maybe we'll reward you," I told him, smiling a little.

I was trying to joke around because he was right: there was a giant secret that I was keeping from him and Dean and maybe I should tell them it was just that I had promised that I wouldn't. That, and there was still some stuff about me that I hadn't quite explained and I didn't think that now was the time for this. We could care and share once we had all properly mourned Lana and that was that.

"Kate…" Annie said, looking at me and then at Sam. "Lana took a lot of things to the grave with her that don't have to do with her, okay? She even knows things that she didn't know that she knew. Kate's mother accidentally let that slip."

I sighed a little bit. "Florence…she locked away some of Lana's memories for safe keeping because they're dangerous."

"Dangerous how?" Sam asked slowly, sitting down.

"Dangerous, about her father, dangerous," I explained slowly.

That was all that I felt like I could say, so I decided to change the subject because I knew that Annie was curious. I trusted Sam and I loved being near him and the sex was fantastic, but at the same time I was feeling what everyone else felt at one point or another—even Dean. Now that she was dead, I felt like it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?

"I have a question for you, Sammy," I told him.

"Yeah?" Sam asked as he started to stroke my hair.

I took a breath. "How much did you love Lana?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, obviously caught off guard and pulling his hand away to get a better look at me.

Yeah, the look on his face was definitely making me feel like I had touched on something he had wanted to keep hidden and my stomach flopped in an unpleasant way. The boy loved Lana and I knew it—it was all in the way he mourned her…the way he had been mourning her. The problem was, that I wanted to know if there had ever been any unresolved feelings between them and Annie wanted to know as well.

I laughed a little. "Sammy, it's obvious from the way you say her name. How much did you love her? How romantically involved were the two of you? These things have to come out eventually."

"I told you before, Katie," Sam said, face close to mine. "Lan and I have never been romantically anything. We flirted a bit before she and Dean got together but there was never more than platonic love there. She was my family…I feel like I not only lost my best friend, but my sister."

I nodded as he kissed my lips tenderly and then my forehead, Annie nodding and leaving the room. Honestly? I had known that she kind of had a crush on Sam and this was hard for her to watch, but Sam was mine and I was totally alright with marking my territory with him. Still, Sam ever wanted to make everyone happy and went off after her to explain things and I looked up as Dean came down the stairs finally.

"What the Hell?" Dean asked.

I shrugged and smiled a little. "Annie's in a mood and Sam is trying to fix it."

"I can see that…" Dean nodded slowly. "Is there anymore tuna?"

"Dean…do you want to talk about her?" I asked him.

"I could have sworn Annie said there was more tuna," Dean said, changing the subject.

I nodded and paused before continuing. "It's okay to want to talk about her."

"Look…Kate…I don't. Stop…" Dean replied, and I nodded.

"Fine…have my tuna sandwich. I wasn't really hungry when Annie offered I just didn't want to hurt her feelings." I said, smiling at him.

He slowly came over and sat down next to me and I made a face—the guy smelled. I understood that right now the only thing that was important to him was being where Lana had called home, but…it was called bathing. He looked at me as I scooted to the opposite end of the couch and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You need to shower," I told him.

"I don't smell that…" He began, sniffing his armpit and then making a face, "…okay…maybe I do."

I laughed a little. "It's okay, it's normal."

"There's nothing normal about this!" Dean exclaimed suddenly. "She was killed by a demon and she didn't deserve to die! Nothing that happened to her was ever normal and this is my forte! Demons! I should have been able to save her, okay?!"

I felt sorry for him. He loved her so much, and she was ripped away from him, and honestly it wasn't fair and it wasn't okay. There had to be something I could do here to make all of this better and fast. Well there was, but it was dangerous…so dangerous in fact, that I wanted a good reason to do it and in order to be backed up, I was going to need some support.

"You know what? I'm going to go and check on Annie too." I told Dean, standing up and squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

Dean just nodded, looking sorry for yelling, but not saying anything about it vocally and I was all right with that. He wasn't really one for caring and sharing, or for apologizing, so I was just going to let it go since he was mourning the love of his life and right now he deserved to be cut some slack. I went out in the back yard, only to see Jen talking to Annie, and I overheard part of their conversation.

"The Rune, Annie…we can't activate it. I've been trying to figure it out for months, and I realized why it doesn't work—only a demon can activate it." Jen explained to her. "One who knows the craft…"

"Oh," Annie said, disappointed and surprised. "Wow. Well what about Chelsea? She's got vampiric blood so that's half demon, isn't it?"

Jen shook her head. "Not how vampire blood works, honey, and even if we could find a half demon like Lana, it would take two half demons to activate it, I think. We need the Rune, Annie. It holds the secrets to the demon population—to your past."

"We can't trust any demons, and we don't know any other half demons," Annie said, thoroughly annoyed.

"Lana's half demon," I told them.

Jen gave me a look. "Kate, Lana is dead."

"For now," I told them, nodding slowly, "I know how to bring her back."

"Kate…" Jen warned, but I shook my head.

"No, Jen, no," I said sadly. "Look, we have no idea where she went or what happens when we die and she was important to all of us and taken before her time. I'm not talking about a crossroads deal or anything, I'm talking about witchcraft. She belongs here, with the living and I'm not going to leave her in the ground! I'm going to bring her back, but I need your help…"

xx

Third Person

Sam and Dean left after a while to go on a hunt because it was no longer all right for them to be hanging out in Lana's house—Sam wanted Dean out and about. Besides, it had been a while since Lana had passed and the plan had to be executed without the boys knowing what was going on. Kate promised to meet up with them and sent Sam off with long, loving kiss, Sam missing her already but wanting to focus on his brother and getting his brother better. Annie, Kate and Jen planned on what they were going to do, and finally decided. It was risky…it was dangerous…it had ramifications—bad things could happen—but they wanted to do it.

Kate, Annie and Jen put candles around the dug up coffin in a circle, having told no one about this plan. They smiled a little to themselves as they poured the salt around the candles, and then sat on either side of the coffin and began to chant in low tones, tossing their heads back, blood on their faces in symbols on their cheeks—they were dealing with darker magic than normal.

The winds picked up, their final words causing the candles to blow out simultaneously, and then they looked at each other, their eyes glowing in the dark, fading to normal as the salt ring suddenly became a ring of fire, and white mist came down from the sky and swirled around above the picture of Lana on top of the coffin before it flew under the crack, and everything went pitch black once again.

Looking at each other this time, each of them expected something big to happen. Inside the coffin, dying flesh was renewed, organs began to move, and everything ever wrong with Lana, was fixed…she had been reborn. As soon as everything had been replaced and renewed, her eyes shot open and her lungs heaved.

xx

Lana's POV

I coughed loudly, gasping for air, tasting only that of stale, depleted oxygen. What was going on here? I was dead…well, I knew I had been at least. I had let go. I had moved on. I had gone to a better place. That was all I remembered…I remembered being happy and warm. I would have screamed when the coffin opened, but as I peered up into the faces of Kate, Annie and Jen, I understood—they had brought me back to life.

"You okay, Lan?" Jen asked me.

I sat up, gasping and breathing in the beautiful, fresh air around me, and I nodded, coughing a little more. I mean honestly I was trying to remember everything that had happened to me…but I couldn't. I knew who the girls were standing around me and I knew I had been dead but…I didn't know much else.

"Holy shit," I said aloud.

"Well at least we know we brought Lanni back," Annie told Jen, and they helped me climb out of the coffin.

Kate held onto me. "Can you stand on your own?"

For being dead a while, I was surprised that I could stand, but at the same time, not surprised at all—weirder things had…actually…weirder things hadn't happened. This was weird—weirder than alien abduction by far. Then again…how long had I been dead? I remembered spells…and hunting…but what else? There were gaps in my memory that I didn't understand.

"How long was I dead?" I asked them.

"A good month," Jen explained to me. "You prolly started to decay down there already."

I nodded slowly. "What did this spell entail?"

"Well…we had to kill a lamb," Annie told me, making a face. "It was your everyday, ordinary, borderline-dark-magic, magic."

I looked at them. "So what…I'm like reborn?"

I was trying to make sense of everything, and at the same time remember things as I looked around the cemetery. I understood magic…but not in as great detail and it was the same way with the hunting. I knew I had done it and what it was but…there were definitely no specifics here and I knew that could be a bad sign…right?

"We brought you back for selfish reasons too," Jen told me dismally.

I shook my head. "No, it's okay…I just want to make sure that I'm me."

"Well…we have no idea about that," Kate admitted slowly.

"I mean you're in perfect health. Your body has been remade—meaning it has no scars from miscarriages, or when you've been impaled or hurt yourself when you were little—nothing. You're perfect. However, being borderline-dark-magic, the demon part of you may have come back stronger than before—well it did come back stronger, but we don't know how much stronger. You're—you're going to be different, Lan." Jen explained.

I nodded slowly. "So, I've still got a fragmented knowledge of everything that's happened, I still have my powers, I'm still half demon, but…but I'm more…dark? Is that about what you're saying?"

"Yeah…that's about what we're saying," Annie told me.

Okay…so I wasn't entirely me…whoever me was anymore. That was what I needed to figure out, and I needed to figure it out fast. I mean alright so I had powers and I had a dark side kind of and I needed to remember everything…how was I going to do that? I needed to know how I was going to go back to being…well me.

"And that's not all, Lan," Jen told me.

"What more is there?" I asked her slowly, not sure I really wanted to know.

Annie took a deep breath. "I found Mom…and…nobody knows we did this…just Kate, me and Jen."

"You mean you left Mom in the dark?" I asked her.

"We left everyone in the dark," Jen admitted to me. "We knew we could bring you back, but we also knew you'd be different—knew everyone would try to talk us out of it…maybe even go out of their way to try and stop us and we couldn't let them do that. You're—you're Lana, but you're not Lana."

"I'm a darker version of Lana," I said, letting it sink in. "Meaning that I'm more susceptible now to the 'dark side of the force' as Yoda would put it. Or rather, 'the dark side of the force, more susceptible, am I'."

Annie hugged me. "What matters is you're back."

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath as Annie held me tightly to her and I returned the hug—I knew we were close somehow. Some things felt a little more familiar to me as the girls talked to me, and some things were still fuzzy.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah…I'm back. How are we going to deal with—"

"—the authorities?" Annie asked and nodded when I did. "Jen and I already have them writing about how you had to be kept safe from an angry psycho. We even staged a suicide so it was thought the man who killed you repented, with a demon—one we actually killed—and it's all taken care of."

I pulled away from Annie and looked at her, Kate and Jen. "I don't remember much of anything. I know names, and I remember pieces of my past, but…I was gone so long."

"If we'd waited any longer, you wouldn't remember anything." Kate explained with a nod. "If you hear, see, or smell big things that were significant, it'll bring memories back. Plus we have your mother and she's good at memory things…"

"That's a relief." I told her, and then I smiled. "Oh, and Kate—you look good."

Kate smiled at me fondly. "So do you…for a dead girl."

xx

When I got to the house, I was astonished—Mom was definitely our Mom, just a bit more worn around the edges, so to speak. She had dark hair like Annie and I, and she seemed so warm and friendly even though she hadn't been there really—that much I remembered. Why she had left us all those years ago was still unknown, but when I saw her, I had the urge to hug her. Because of my fragmented memory, all I could think of was that I remembered her warmth before she left Annie and I with Bethany and Marcus…and she had always loved us.

"Mom," I breathed as I hugged her.

"There's my girl," she hugged me back strongly, and stroked my hair as I held her, her voice warm and welcoming. "I figured Kate, Annie and Jen would bring you back."

I pulled away slowly and looked her in the eye, smiling at her as my own eyes seemed to peer back at me. I definitely looked like my mother, but at the same time I knew where I got my qualities from my father when he had been possessing my mother…there was that part I was going to have to contend with. I was filled up with demon blood and I honestly didn't want to know how dark I could be so I was just going to leave myself in the dark there and get other answers if I wanted them.

"He said his goodbyes," Mom said softly.

I looked down at my white dress as mother held the ring in her hand, and I realized that Dean had put the ring on a chain and buried me with it around my neck. I realized that Dean and I had something more special than I could remember—there were only fragmented flashes, but I'd loved him once. The last flash I had was of us parting companies. So it was over? Where was he? I felt a strong feeling of need surge through me as I held the ring in my hand.

"I said mine too," I replied slowly, Mom steadying me. "I moved on…I didn't haunt this world because I promised that I wouldn't."

Mom nodded and stroked my cheek. "Your part here isn't done, Lanni."

"I figured as much," I told her nodding. "Do you know anything about this selfish reason Kate, Jen and Annie had to bring me back?"

"The Rune, Lanni," Mom explained to me, taking a deep breath. "They were led to believe that it could only be activated by a demon or two half demons but in reality you just needed to be brought back. You're not necessarily more demon, you were just touched with dark magic and that means that it's about time you started practicing your powers because without the right training, you won't be able to resist using these powers for evil. You and I will work on this and I'm going to give you, your memories back, okay?"

I nodded slowly and looked up at her. "Mom…why did I need to be brought back?"

"The angels wanted you back on the mortal plane," Mom said gently. "You have to keep this a secret but angels are real and you are in their debt. A long time ago I started to raise you to be a good person and you turned out to be just that, but at first they wanted you killed. They didn't believe that a half demon child could be raised to be good and so I had to hide you and they found out when you were 18. They almost killed you, but you were proving to be a demon hunter and so they let me keep you…keep an eye on you. Now, they need you for some big master plan that Castiel and Zachariah have yet to fully inform me of, but this was foretold. You are to practice and to master and to vanquish evil. That is how we keep them from ending you."

"So," I began, "in order to save myself I have to become stronger than them? I have to master the demon part and then what? What about when everyone finds out that I'm alive? Can I tell anyone about the angels?"

I didn't really know what I was going to do now that I was alive again and I didn't have all of my memories…what was I going to do? Part of me wanted to find everyone I had been with when I died so I could have them help me out but how was that fair to them? Mom had said it…Dean had moved on and that was that…how could I selfishly try to drag him back into my world? Even with my memories back when Mom gave them to me, I needed to focus on what the angels wanted from me.

"They are out secret until they wish to be know," Mom explained to me. "At any point you can go back to Sam and Dean and hunting, but we need to go over some training first. Not right this second, you need rest…"

"Yeah," I replied, having been brought out of my own thoughts. "I do need some sleep because I feel exhausted but first thing once I'm up and I've eaten, we can start. Wait…what about my memories?"

Mom smiled at me and stroked my hair. "Bobby is sending me the spell book in the mail as we speak. Until then…sweet dreams, Lanni."

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand, hugging her again and smiling more when she kissed my temple. Then I went upstairs to my room and I lay on my bed, turning on the radio and looking at it as a song came on. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls came on and I suddenly found myself breathing in the scent of leather, musk and soap…Dean. Memories started to flood back and I sat up…I loved Dean, and I didn't want to be without him…but how could I when now he could live a good life without me and my demon problems? There was my answer: there was no way that I could get back involved in Dean's life when I had hurt him so much and he had finally moved on.

xx

I woke up the next morning and I walked down in my boxer shorts and my tank top when I was done lying there breathing in the scent that was fading. I'd thought a lot, trying to remember more, but every memory I had made me firmly stick to the belief that this was my second chance…my chance to start over and to be a better person than the one that had hurt such a good man. I fiddled with the ring on the chain around my neck, and I sat on the stool at the counter, looking at Kate as she made breakfast.

"Morning, Lana!" She said cheerfully.

I smiled sadly at her. "Hey…do you think I'm a good person? Did I just lose my way or was I a bitch? What the Hell was I thinking lying to him about being half demon that whole time? Why is it that I found a great guy and then lost him?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Roadrunner." Kate told me, looking bombarded by my questions. "Okay, now what do you want to know?"

"Do you think I'm a good person?" I asked her after a pause, thinking over my list of questions and picking the one I knew I wanted answered most.

Kate laughed a little. "Of course I think you are, but I'm biased because I'm your cousin. Look, you and Dean had a complicated relationship and you both screwed up at times. I mean granted your screw-ups were a little worse, but that doesn't make you a bad person, that makes you guarded. It's not as hard for you to let people in as it is for Dean, but it's still hard and you had a lot of secrets to keep that weren't just yours—they were family secrets as well. All that matters is Dean forgave you and still wanted to be with you—still wanted to marry you someday."

"Okay," I told her, nodding and taking all of the information in.

I knew that I believed her, but at the same time I really couldn't help it that I was feeling so bad about all of this. For some reason Dean still loved me after all of it, but then again I was dying…he seemed like the kind of guy who would forget all of it, just to let me die without regret. That was what did it for me too…I had moved on, so I had coped with and repented for everything I had done…there was no need to dwell on it—just make sure that I never made that mistake in the future.

"I guess the only thing left to do is to get in contact with them," Kate told me as she cooked.

"No!" I cried out abruptly.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I don't want to see them…not just yet." I told her. "They don't know, do they, because it really is my place to tell them don't you think?"

Kate shook her head. "Nah, they don't know."

"Good," I told her, nodding firmly. "I'm going to just grab some cereal and go back up to my room."

I knew that Kate was worried about me, and a little confused by my outburst, but I needed a little more time to remember. If Sam and Dean were ever going to be involved in my life again, it was unfair to them for me to not remember things I should remember. Besides…my comforters would only smell like Dean for so much longer and I wanted to savor that as long as I could before Mom got the spell book and then gave me all of them back…what would I do then?

"You sure you don't want to eat with us?" Kate asked me. "I mean Annie and Aunt Flor will be back soon. They went to grab some more juice cause we're out."

I shook my head. "That's okay. Tell them I'm sorry, but I need to figure some things out on my own right now."

"Lana?" Kate asked as I went over to the cabinet.

"Yeah?" I asked turning to her.

She sighed a little. "Look, I know it's not my place, but, are you sure you don't want to tell them now? Sooner rather than later?"

"Until I know what to do now, I don't want them to know," I told her honestly. "At this point, I think I just brought drama into their lives you know? Best they don't have to deal with said drama until I can help them through it…and for that I have to help myself through it."

Kate nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I understand that, I guess. Well, if you want, I've made coffee."

I shook my head. "Nah, that's okay."

"You sure? Coffee like runs through your veins…" Kate told me.

"It used to," I told her with a nod.

I grabbed a bowl and poured milk into, pouring some cereal into the bowl and then going upstairs, sitting on my bed and listening to the radio, as I ate. Things had changed and I knew that…but when would they go back to normal? And for me, what was normal?

xx

Kate's POV

I sighed as I poured myself some coffee and flipped the pancakes. I didn't get why Lana and Dean were so damn stubborn—it was stupid. They should be talking. She should be calling. He should have been talking about her death, and she should have been on the phone with him right then letting him know that she was around and that she wanted to be with him and work this all out. They were stupid people…stupid, stupid people.

"Where's Lanni?" Annie asked, coming in the door with Aunt Florence.

I looked at the stairs. "Her room…with cereal…"

Annie sighed. "I think I'm ready to call Dean."

"Lana doesn't want us to call him," I told her quickly, shaking my head.

"Why?" Annie asked me raising her eyebrows.

"Because she doesn't want him to know," I replied like she should have gotten that.

I was kind of still annoyed that Lana and Dean were being so damn stubborn and I sighed and apologized to Annie. Honestly I wasn't trying to take it out on anyone, I just…I hated to see people feeling so down and I really thought Sam and Dean could help Lana to get some of her memories back. Isn't that what she wanted? Didn't she want to remember? Besides, I really wanted to be back with Sam because calls and texts between us just weren't enough. I wanted to feel his body right up next to mine and kiss those kips of his and just…I wanted Sam back.

Aunt Florence sighed. "She doesn't want to deal with it, but she has to. She has to talk to him and see him sooner or later, and later isn't better—it's worse. What will he do when he finds out she's been alive for weeks and she never contacted him?"

"I mean once it's all said and done, she'll feel better," Annie added in. "Doesn't she get that?"

I shrugged slowly. "I think she just wants to think of the perfect thing to say."

"Guys?" Lana asked, coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, honey?" Aunt Florence asked her.

Lana took a deep breath. "I've decided to go back to school."

"What?" Annie asked her suddenly.

"Yeah," Lana told them nodding, "I should give college a try. I think I'll sign up for classes, and start tomorrow. Not that hard if you're going to community college."

"But what about the boys?" I asked her.

She bit her lip. "I think I need to find myself first."

xx

Annie's POV

I didn't get why Lana wanted to go back to school—it made no sense. She gave school up to fight demons. Gave up her normal life to save other peoples'. We bring her back from the dead and she wants to go to school. What about Dean? Sam? What about hunting? That was where her heart had truly been all this time hadn't it been?

"This is a setback," I told Kate. "Lana is stupid."

Kate nodded and made a face. "Her and Dean both…"

"She just needs time," Mom replied with soft shake of her. You guys did resurrect her."

"Technicality, Mom," I protested. "Lana needs to tell Dean she's alive—simple as that."

"Not that simple, though," Kate said with a sigh.

I turned to her. "What do you mean? I thought you were on my side here about them being stupid."

Kate smiled a little at my choice of words and then she made a face. She was looking for the words to say and it was almost like it was bad and she was trying to sugarcoat it for me. I hated it when people sugarcoated things for me and at the same time…maybe this was really bad.

"Lana's memories aren't coming back the way we wanted them to," she told me finally. "She doesn't remember all of hers and Dean's relationship and she's doubting herself and her ability to make good decisions."

I scoffed and slumped in the chair closest to me. "Well she's proving that she's making really crappy ones!"

"Maybe fate wants it this way," Mom told us. "Maybe this will help Lana look her life over one piece at a time. I want her to make up with the boy she's so madly in love with that loves her, but we have more important things to think about—she has powers to practice and by tomorrow I should be able to give her back her memories and fix this.

Kate nodded slowly. "Least we can do is maybe help this along, can't we?"

"What do you mean?" I asked her, hopeful because Kate always did have pretty great ideas when it came to…well anything.

"I think I should call Sam and tip him off without actually telling him…" Kate said with a smile on her face. "She has to face them if they just show up…"

xx

Lana's POV

I woke up from a really weird dream. I had a feeling that it had something to do with old memories, but I wasn't sure. I remembered parts of it…I think I remembered parts of it. It was just weird because it was like High School and hunting all rolled up into one. John was even in it. Getting up, I got dressed and headed off to class in my car. I was only taking two classes, but I really needed to get my mind off of things…it was the only way to move on and clear my head.

"Hi," a blonde girl said, smiling at me.

I smiled back as I locked my car. "Hi."

"I'm Paige," she said holding out her hand.

"I'm Lana," I told her as I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you…"

Paige nodded. "Ditto—so what classes are you taking?"

"Psychology and Mythology," I told her. "I'm just starting out."

Her smile grew. "Me too! I have Mythology today!"

"Me too, Professor…" I pulled out the schedule and looked at it, "…Stearns?"

She nodded too. "Yeah! I can show you to the classroom if you want me to."

I smiled a little more. "That couldn't hurt."

Paige and I went to class and listened to the first day of class, with the rules, and the papers and the introduction to the textbooks—not all that different from High School actually, except that a student came in late—Lance. In High School, Lance and I actually didn't have any classes together…from what I could remember in my scattered memories, we met at lunch and we hung out before and after and on weekends.

He didn't notice me at first, but when he did, his eyes widened and I could understand that: I had been dead. After class, Paige gave me her number, and told me to keep in touch this quarter, and then Lance showed up next to me as my new study buddy left me there. He looked like he wanted to pull silver out on me or something, and I just let him drag me outside under a tree.

"Wow," He said, looking me over with his eyes. "You're alive."

I nodded slowly. "Seems so…"

"How? No, wait—Jen and Annie," he replied, answering his own question and nodding knowingly.

"And Kate…you remember her," I told him with a small smile. "Seems it's not time for me to die yet and my real Mom, by the way, is back in the mix and is living at my house right now."

"Wow," Lance said again, "a lot has changed in a month."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…so forgive me but really all I remember is that we dated in High School and we've been friends for a long time."

"I asked you to marry me at graduation and you said 'no'," he told me. "Figures you wouldn't remember that though…"

I smiled a little and told him I was sorry but he waved it off—he understood that, and he understood what was happening to me. I didn't feel any sort of connection or anything to him because of that, I just appreciated it. He was simply nodding at this point and taking things in and then he pointed to my stomach and I raised my eyebrows. What in the world?

"So how do you feel knowing you can conceive again?" Lance asked me.

I took a deep breath. "Wait…come again, what?"

"You and Dean were going to have a baby and then you lost it because Chelsea shot you and you then couldn't conceive…you don't remember that, do you?" He asked me as I looked at him hurt and blank.

"Oh my God," I said softly. "I thought Jen was just using that as an example when she brought me back, to let me know how new my body really was."

Lance just nodded and let me go to my car, and I drove to the cemetery—after getting instructions from Lance—and I wandered. I found the headstones that I was looking for and I started to cry because I couldn't believe that it had taken so much to remember. Casey had been my baby…mine and Dean's baby and I just—I couldn't believe everything that was happening to me.

"I can't believe I forgot," I said aloud, wiping away some tears. "Sweetheart, I promise you that I will never forget you again…you're my baby."

Memories of the pregnancies came back, and though fragmented, I started to cry even more as I stared at the headstone and ran my fingers along my stomach. I got down on my knees, talking to the graves for a bit, before I realized that I needed to know more and I had to get back home. I wanted my memories back and now regardless of the consequences, so I got back into the car and drove home, stopping and parking across the street, getting out and hiding behind a tree. In the driveway…was the Impala.

Note: Oh snap, it's a cliffy and a not so long chapter—only 16 pages. Still, the next chapter is very important and I think all of you will really love it. Feedback is always appreciated!