In the following days, Jackson and April were able to form a sort of mutual understanding between them. Even though they were still living apart, they were consciously working their way toward being husband and wife again.
"So you and Kepner, what's the deal?" Ben asked Jackson a few days after Jackson and April's talk while they were hanging out at the nurse's station with Callie. He tried to sound casual and not the least bit probing when, in truth, Bailey practically ordered him to find out as much as he could from the plastic surgeon.
Miranda Bailey was very professional when it came to work, but every once in a while she'd succumb to her desire to know everything about everyone in Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital, especially when it came to Jackson Avery and April Kepner. They simply intrigued the Chief of Surgery. When the two just transferred from Mercy West, she thought that April would have gotten along really well with George, and that Jackson would end up with Lexie, which he did even though it didn't last. Even as the years passed and the two got closer, particularly after the shooting which took Reed and Charle's life, she never expected they'd end up together.
But they did, and they did so in the most controversial and shocking manner. Bailey realized then that these two were different from all the other work relationships she'd witnessed in that hospital. She liked to think of them as the underdogs. They wouldn't win prom king and queen, but they might just very well outlast all the rest of them.
Baily wasn't the only curious one. A lot of the people in the hospital were also surprised when they saw the couple greet each other in the hall just two days after their massive fight in the peds exam room. They were even more surprised when the two treated each other pleasantly whenever they crossed paths in the hall or in the ER, almost as if they were friends. They would eat lunch together along with their other colleagues, even Arizona, who shocked everyone by not strangling or shooting deadly stares at Jackson. All of this did not escape Bailey's notice, so every day she'd ask her husband if he found out anything new about them.
"We're… taking it slow," Jackson answered.
"So this isn't like last time?" Callie asked.
"What do you mean?"
Callie rolled her eyes. "You know, when you tried being just friends when you never really were friends," she said, putting quotation marks when saying friends.
"Uh, no," the taller man replied with a hint of annoyance.
Callie laughed as she pat Jackson on the back. "I'm only calling it as I see it, Avery. I'm being a friend here."
Jackson puffed. "Well, like I said, this isn't that."
"Oh good," Ben said. "That's good."
"Yeah, make sure to report that back to your wife," Jackson told him nonchalantly, making Callie giggle.
Caught red handed, Ben couldn't think of a response quick enough before Jackson got another word in.
"April heard both of you in the nurse's station. We're pretty flattered the Chief cares so much about our marriage," he said with a sly grin before walking away to do his rounds.
"Ooooh, he got you there," Callie told Ben.
"I think I like him better all sad and mopey," Ben muttered under his breath before jogging after his superior.
Alex opened the door to the on-call room, intending on squeezing in a quick nap before a major surgery. When he walked in, he saw April sitting on the bottom bunk of the bed looking like she had just woken up from a nap herself.
"Hey," she greeted him as she rubbed her eyes.
Alex smirked. "What, no Jackson? I'm surprised. I thought you two would be on it like rabbits now."
April rolled her eyes. "It's not like that, Alex. We're taking it slow. I haven't even moved back in yet."
"That slow? What, you revirginizing again?" he teased. It was hard for him to believe that April hadn't moved back in yet with her husband, especially considering the friendly interaction they'd been having.
She shifted uncomfortably. "No, it's just… he hadn't asked me yet."
"Oh. Well, at least he's not treating you like invisible girl anymore," he said as he climbed onto the upper bunk.
"Yeah," April mumbled as she stood up and smoothed her scrubs. She was about to leave the room when a thought crossed her mind. Turning around, she stood on her toes so she could look at Alex's face. His eyes were already closed. "Alex? What if I ask him –"
"Don't," he grumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes. Without waiting for a reply, Alex turned his back to her. "Now let me sleep."
Sighing, but also smiling, April left the room. She knew it was impossible that Alex would continue his nice guy streak, but it didn't hurt to try.
Days turned into weeks, and both Jackson and April were still able to maintain the steady rhythm they had going.
One Friday night, they had dinner at Jackson's favorite Italian restaurant. It was their first date in what felt like forever, so it wasn't a surprise that it started out awkward until April decided to break the ice.
"I don't know why we're so nervous. It's just a date, right?" she quipped. "It's not like we're getting married."
Jackson laughed. The rest of the evening went by smoother as they fell at ease with each other's presence. Soon, it seemed as though their marriage never even hung in the balance. They were able to talk about the time they spent apart without feeling like they had to choose their words or skip through parts.
"It was pretty intimidating at first, being surrounded by guns all the time. I couldn't help but think of the hospital shooting," April said when Jackson asked about her tour in Jordan. Deep down, it touched her that he had finally asked her about it. From the very beginning, she wanted to share her experience with him, but she didn't want to say anything without being asked. And now there he was, listening intently to her stories, waiting for her to continue. "But after a while, I got used to it. I even learned how to fire a gun in case, you know."
"Really?" he replied, impressed. "Remind me not to piss you off then."
"It's not like I have a gun to shoot you with if you do end up making me mad," she said playfully.
"Yeah, well, I still wouldn't want to piss you off. You pack a mean punch, April Kepner," he joked.
She batted her eyes innocently. "Only if you're going to call me Plastic Kepner."
He shook his head, disbelieving, "No, you've been knocking out guys way before that. Don't you remember?"
Her eyes suddenly widened as the memory came to her. "Oh man, that was ages ago! What's his name? Carl? Patrick?"
"No, it was… Kevin?"
"Yes! Kevin Banks!" she said excitedly. "That douche. I bet he got my spot at Case Western after they turned me down."
"At least you got to punch him in the face. That's a consolation," he offered.
"If I knew he'd take my spot, I would've punched him… lower," she snickered. "Although I can't imagine what Chief Webber would've said if he saw me do that."
"He wouldn't know if we made a quick getaway."
"Are you kidding me?" she giggled. "Our getaway was anything but subtle and quick. We were laughing all the way to my room, and then…" She stopped, suddenly remembering the events that unfolded after that.
Jackson met her gaze intesnely. "And then."
April looked down at the pumpkin ravioli on her plate as she tried to hide her cheeks that were slowly turning red. Clearing her throat, April changed the subject before it could lead to them doing something too… spontaneous.
"You know, I never really found out what happened to our couch while I was gone," she said. "Something about wine and baseball?"
"Oh that," he replied, surprised that she actually remembered that little detail from one of their brief video chats before. "Yeah, that was all Karev's fault."
April raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Okay, not all Karev's fault," Jackson admitted. "We won the league so there was jumping and celebrating and wine."
"I'm betting there was even some screaming involved."
"Oh, manly screaming, for sure."
"Our couch didn't stand a chance," she said, smiling as she took a sip of her wine.
"You're not upset that we ruined a $400 couch?" he asked with a grin.
April shrugged. "First of all, you ruined it. Second of all, I never really liked that couch anyway. You're the one who picked that out."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I never sent out my laundry the whole time you were gone," he said proudly.
"Seriously? Jackson Avery, I think I'm finally rubbing off on you."
He chuckled. "Not that much. I didn't go to work wearing my swim trunks."
They both laughed. Throughout their meal, they continued to talk about anything and everything they could think of. At one point, April unwittingly voiced out a thought that crossed her mind when a couple walked past their table carrying a baby boy.
"Samuel would've been almost two now," she said, surprising Jackson. Her voice was calm and even, with a hint of sadness but also of peace. When she realized what she said, she panicked. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I was thinking out loud."
Jackson put his hand over hers. "It's okay," he said soothingly. "I miss him too."
There was a sad smile on her face.
"Hey, I have a question," he told her.
"What?"
"Do you, uh…" he hesitated. "Do you ever think about, you know, how your life would be if you never ran off with me on your wedding day? If you… if you married Matthew instead of me?"
April leaned her head slightly on one side as she realized what he had asked her. That was the last thing she expected him to ask. The truth was no matter how difficult and painful their marriage had been, not once did she stop and think about that particular what-if scenario. And she couldn't figure out why Jackson obviously did.
"No. No, I don't ever think about it," she answered him simply. "I'm thinking about it now though."
"Oh," he said as he used his fork to play with the pasta on his plate. "And?"
"And I think I never would've discovered this insanely good pumpkin ravioli if I were still with Matthew. He was more of a burrito person," she said, which made Jackson chuckle. He was about to lean back on his seat when April, similar to what he did just seconds ago, held his hand.
"We never would've had Samuel," she told him, serious and sincere. "As much as it hurts to think about losing him, the thought of never having him hurts way more. And everything we've been through – the good and the bad – I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. You're my person, Jackson Avery."
Jackson looked at her with his piercing eyes. He could've sworn he could literally feel himself falling for her all over again. Swallowing hard, he was about to open his mouth and say something when April's pager went off, much to his disappointment.
"It's alright," he assured her when she looked at him ruefully. "Duty calls, it's fine."
She gave an appreciative smile. "I had fun tonight. I, uh, I missed this."
"I do too," he said. And he truly meant it. "So, talk to you tomorrow?"
"Of course! Goodnight, Jackson," she replied with the usual perkiness in her voice before standing up to leave.
The following day, April was late for work. She was never late for work. She was never late for anything. Except today.
The night before, what she thought was just going to be at most a one-hour visit to the hospital turned into an 8-hour shift. She was about to leave when the ER was suddenly flooded with trauma victims from a highway collision and there weren't enough staff personnel to accommodate all the patients. Seeing the bleak situation, the trauma attending immediately volunteered to work overtime. She initially thought she'd be there for just a few hours more. She didn't expect to be in an operating room with Amelia and Maggie for five hours straight, trying to save the life of the drunk driver who caused the incident.
By the time she got to Arizona's place, she was too exhausted to even take a shower. She immediately headed straight to the guest bedroom, her home for the last two months, plopped on the bed face first and drifted off to sleep.
The long and grueling shift and the exhaustion it brought made her sleep through the ringing of her alarm clock. When she woke up, it was already three hours into her shift. Panicking, she hurriedly took a quick shower, got ready and ran straight to her car, passing DeLuca along the way who had just gotten home from his shift.
"You're late!" he shouted over his shoulder when she ran past him.
"You're an ass!" she shouted right back at him before she got in her car.
While driving to work, she constantly had to keep herself from rushing through traffic and driving faster than she normally would. It didn't matter that she was already late regardless of how soon she got to the hospital. To her, it was the principle of being in a hurry to avoid or, in her case, lessen her tardiness.
She was, however, still April Kepner, and April Kepner was the last person on earth who would deliberately disobey traffic safety and regulations. So instead of speeding up to try and catch the yellow light, she slowed down and waited, albeit impatiently, for the light to turn green.
As she waited, she hummed along to the music from the radio all the while thinking of her date with Jackson last night. They'd come a long way, her and Jackson.
She thought of the night she returned from her second tour. Jackson couldn't even take being in the same room as her, let alone talk to her. But now, she felt reconnected to him. And she was finally herself again. Opening up to Jackson paved the way for her to completely heal and let go of everything that held her underwater. Now, for the first time in a very long time, there was a bounce to her step, a spark in her eyes.
When the light turned green, she stepped on the gas as her humming turned into full-blown rapping when Iggy's Trouble began to play on the radio. She couldn't help it – it was her jam.
Too caught up in the song, April didn't hear the screeching tires heading her way until it was too late.
Standing in the pit, Jackson tried not to be bothered by April's tardiness. He found out through Arizona earlier that day that April didn't come home 'til six in the morning. So while he'd never seen April arrive late for work in all the years he'd known her, he was aware that it shouldn't be surprising – or worrying – that she was now.
Since their talk at Arizona's three weeks ago, he had been in a better mood, and he could see that April was in a better mood too. Gradually, he saw the light in her flicker on and it continued to shine brighter as the days went by. It warmed his heart to see her slowly returning to the way she was before Samuel died. And truth be told, he could say the same thing about himself as well. For the longest time after April came back, he felt uncomfortable and unsure of himself. But last night, he felt good, genuinely good, about himself.
Their dinner date was proof enough that she was the only one who could ever do that, could make him see the best in him and that he was the only one who could make her feel at home, could make her truly be herself. Sometime between appetizers and the main course, it dawned on him that he invited her to dinner for the purpose of telling her that very thing. But before he could, she got called back to the hospital.
When he got to work at 9 a.m., he was surprised to find that April hadn't shown up yet. When an hour passed, he began to get anxious. Tardiness was never a trait of hers. He could probably see her arriving to work five or ten minutes late, although ten minutes was already pushing it, but an hour?
By noon, he allowed his worries to get the best of him. Shaking his head, he took out his phone and dialed April's number. When it went straight to voicemail, he walked up to the nurse's station before his brain could convince him otherwise – you're clearly overreacting. He picked up the phone and dialed Arizona's home number.
"Hello?" DeLuca answered lazily.
"Dr. DeLuca, it's Dr. Avery. Is Dr. Kepner there?" he asked, making sure his voice sounded professional and superior to the intern.
"Oh, uh, she left about five minutes ago," DeLuca answered, suddenly alert. "She should be there in 15 minutes."
"Okay," he said simply, hanging up the phone before the intern could respond.
Just then, his pager went off, informing him that one of his patients was all prepped for surgery. Before he rushed off though, he approached Cross who was assigned to the ER that day.
"Page me when Dr. Kepner arrives," he instructed, to which Cross immediately nodded his head in obedience.
His surgery didn't take long even though it should have. He was in the operating room for only an hour, working on a patient with third degree burns when the old man suddenly coded. His injuries were too much for his heart to handle, and he suffered a massive stroke on the operating table.
It was the first time in a while that Jackson lost a patient. The loss weighed heavy on his heart, adding to the sense of dread he was already feeling since he came to work and found no April.
As he was scrubbing out, his pager went off again. It was Cross. He hurriedly dried his hands and made his way to the ER. Maybe he could talk to her before the ER got swamped, he thought to himself.
When he swung open the doors to the pit, he was met by a nervous-looking Cross.
"Where's Dr. Kepner?" he asked the scrawny intern.
"I, uh," Cross stuttered. "Uhm, Dr. Avery, she –"
"Dr. Avery," Owen suddenly called out to him as he swiftly approached the two. Turning to the intern, Owen instructed, "I'll handle this. Go check on Dr. Kepner."
Turning on his heels, Cross made his quick escape. While he loved working under April, her husband intimidated him, especially when the plastic surgeon's attention was solely focused on him.
Jackson's eyes widened as Owen's words began to sink in. "What do you mean check on Dr. Kepner?"
"Jackson –"
"What happened? Where's April?" he demanded.
Owen calmly answered, "April was in a car accident, and –"
"What? Is she okay? Where is she?" he said, panicking as he tried to move past Owen to look for her.
Anticipating that reaction, Owen gently but firmly held his arms to keep him from rushing off. "Listen, Avery, April is okay. She's fine. She only suffered some cuts and bruises on her face and arms. We –"
"And you're sure it's just that? What about a concussion? There could be –"
"We checked everything. CT scan and MRI came out clean. Amelia and Torres both cleared her. We were very thorough," the head of trauma reassured him. "And per Robbins' advice, or more specifically, demand, I'm giving her the rest of the day off to rest."
He was about to rush off to the exam room April was in when a thought came to his head. "Dr. Hunt, where's Chief Bailey?"
As Jackson neared the room, he could see April through the open blinds. She was sitting upright, her head wrapped in a bandage, as she scanned through the ER charts. He stopped at the doorway, taking a second to look at her as she hummed a melody of a song he constantly heard on the radio.
Preoccupied with the patient charts she was reading, she didn't notice Jackson standing in the doorway.
"Hey," he greeted her. He hoped his voice didn't betray the surge of emotion he suddenly felt upon seeing her… safe.
She looked up at him. "Oh hi," she said, flashing him a smile.
Entering the room, he stood a comfortable distance away from her. "I heard what happened. How are you feeling?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "It kind of feels like gym class when Katie Anderson practically smashed my skull in with a volleyball," she said casually which caused Jackson to chuckle lightly.
"Seriously though, April, are you okay?" he asked again. He was smiling but the concern was very apparent in his voice.
"Yes. Other than some cuts and a headache, I'm fine," she answered appreciatively. "Hunt's giving me the day off today. I'm just waiting to sign the release forms. It's funny, I literally just woke up an hour ago, and now I'm excited to go back to bed again."
"Where's your car?"
"Repair shop, although by the looks of it, I wouldn't be surprised if they brought it straight to the junk shop." And then her cheerful demeanor faltered. "Oh God, the repair's gonna cost me a fortune."
"But if your car's over there, how are you going to get to –"
"Oh right, Andrew will pick me up. It's the least he could do since I make him breakfast practically every day for the last, what, two months? I can't believe I'm going to say this but he might actually be worse than you and Alex. At least you two don't leave your dirty underpants outside my door like I'm your personal laundry mat."
Her babbling was met with silence. For a moment, Jackson just stood there quietly. He was looking at her, but he appeared lost in his own thoughts, which didn't escape April's notice.
"How about you? Are you okay?" she asked as she eyed him curiously, patting the space beside her. "You have that serious look on your face."
He arched his brows questioningly at her as he sat down.
"Oh, you know," she said. "That look you have when you try to pretend your mind isn't going a thousand miles an hour when it clearly is."
Rubbing his nape in admittance, he answered, "Just a rough day is all. I, uh, I just lost a patient."
Putting her hand on his arm, she smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
Jackson looked at her in awe. There she was, cuts and bruises on her face and arm, and yet she was the one asking him if she could do anything to make him feel better.
It occurred to him then that the whole thing was reminiscent to something that happened years ago.
"I want you, Jackson… I want you."
She poured out her heart to him in the ER on that stormy night, when the bus exploded and she thought she'd lost him forever. In the split second after hearing April had gotten into a car accident, the idea that she was gone from him forever hit him like a knife in his heart.
And now that he was sitting next to her, looking at her and hearing her breathe, the idea of her not being truly and completely his again felt terrifyingly unnatural and wrong.
He had loved only her and no one else. She had given him her all –her delicate heart, her steadfast loyalty and her little quirks and eccentricities included, and he loved them all. There was no one else who could ever accept her as wholeheartedly and unquestioningly as he did. No one else would ever love her as much as he did.
And she loved him more than she ever thought she could love. She didn't just love his looks and his actions; she didn't even see any of that whenever she looked at him. As much as everyone else loved his eyes and his abs, she loved his heart, his soul and his whole being infinitely more. She was the only one who could see right through him, and he found comfort in that. He found comfort in her. And he knew with all the certainty in the world that he would never find that kind of comfort in anyone else.
They were completely different from each other. They didn't share the same beliefs. They didn't come from the same background. They knew their future would have disagreements and fights. But over the years, throughout their friendship and marriage, they'd come to realize that theirs was a love that could conquer their differences. Theirs was a love that could forgive, that would endure.
She was his, and he was hers. And with that thought in mind, he knew there was only one thing left to do.
"Yeah," Jackson said. He gave her a smile that he reserved only for her as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, resting his hand on the crook of her neck.
"Yeah?" April asked, smiling as well as she laid her hand over his. "What is it?"
"Come home with me."
Author's Note: Well, that's it! :) I hope this last chapter does Jackson and April justice. Just a little info, the title of the story is named after the beautiful song of the amazing Gavin DeGraw. The idea of this whole story came to me while I was listening to that song, also I think it perfectly sums up Jackson and April's relationship in this story and hopefully in the show as well, so have a listen to it when you can. Anyway, thank you again (and again and again) to each and every one of you who took the time to read, follow, favorite or/and review. This is my first time writing a FanFic, and I definitely did not expect it to be this big (to me, at least) when I first started, so all your kind words are immensely appreciated and treasured. I'm not sure if/when a next story will be, to be honest. I invested so much of my time and daydreams (seriously) to this story that starting on another one right away seems a bit overwhelming to me right now. We'll see where this FanFic endeavor of mine leads me. :)